Hey guys, what's up. This project is mainly to vent out some of my frustration toward society, and then to create a world that I would find realistic and as ideal as possible. I do know that the main character is not properly introduced, and that is just part of my writing style. Don't worry, I'll add in a proper introduction later on in the story, so please bear with it. Also, there are no pairings between the main character with any character from Toradora! quite yet, and it's to be decided whether this story will be T or M. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is always welcome.
In America, I found myself in a hierarchy. It was always like that, but it took a while for me to realize. In early grade school, it may have been alright to kick, scream, and shout how girls have cooties, but that's not how it goes in late grade school, middle school, and up. People learn how to act—to decide whether to harass the girl you sit next to as a joke, the choice of whether or not to shout at the top of your lungs for desperate attention. I came late into the game, and consequently suffered a popularity drop as people moved on to more "mature" activities. Guys talked about girls, girls talked about guys, and there was mutual liking between the two genders.
I later was astonished at how people developed so quickly. They developed some sort of skill to make people like them, to seem natural or fit the image in people's heads. I could not do that, no matter how hard I tried. It was hard fitting in the "cool" crowd, who wore their dark hoodies and khaki shorts. In the beginning of sixth grade, I realized the change everyone made. It was as if everything was a giant Broadway show. Everyone was acting subconsciously to gain the approval of others. There is nothing wrong with that, right? They just wanted to be liked, to feel as if they belonged. I wanted it too—cool friends, a girl that liked me, to be a popular monument in society. However it was only a short period of time before I realized the brutal truth of carrying a facade into the already competitive running.
People knew me as the annoying kid, as the obnoxious Chinese who wore sweatpants to school every day, and it was hard to build prestige on top of that. I did everything—restyle my hair, buy new clothing, acted mature around the ladies, and even if it was a little, I was happy to be recognized in society.
In my freshman year of high school, people knew me. In a hierarchy from lowest to highest there are peasants, merchants, knights, barons, counts, dukes, and finally the kings. In terms of hierarchy, I would be considered a knight, a rank I worked hard for. However, at that point, I should have realized that, also similar to a hierarchy, it was not possible to move up to a baron. I tried to create connections—joining student council, making good first impressions with people that I deemed worth knowing—and then I lost sight of things. My childhood friends, the ones that I like playing video games with, the ones that did not care what I wore on a school day, began to fade from my view. It was astonishing, really—how deep I pulled myself into the trenches of society.
I so desperately wanted attention, but when it hit me, I knew it was futile. Sure, the so-called popular boys would always acknowledge me and high-five me, but I recognized the act. In order to keep their prestige, they had to act nice to a knight like me. They never pulled me into their group, never asked me to hang out at a local restaurant, or to celebrate whatever-his-name-is's birthday. I was always surrounded by people, but always felt so alone. It was as if everyone was going to act until they graduated high school, throughout college, and into the real world. If that is how the choose to act, then they must have either decided their path to keep their facade, or some, previously like me, are still stuck in their little illusion of being a king or queen in society.
I coped with this knowledge and survived the pressure society handed to me. But I was tired, and very much so. I was not looking to move up in rank anymore, but just to maintain my current status. It was almost too much and I did not want it anymore—so the offer to study abroad was tempting.
~End Introduction