Dependence

The moonlight filtered into her room through the open balcony doors and her tears glistened in the faint glow. She was lying on the bed wearing just a very simple blue satin night dress. Her pink curls lay loose, stretched beneath her like a mane. One hand covered her eyes while the other lay beside her clutching a phone. It was nearly midnight and she still had no luck. Every time she tried to call her best friend, it was the same annoying voice that said "the number you are trying to reach is currently switched off, please try again later" DAMN IT, She had been trying for an entire week!!!! Different emotions like guilt, annoyance, helplessness and loneliness washed over her.

She changed her position and was now facing the night sky. Thousand's of stars were twinkling merrily but she was oblivious to all of them except her favorite one. It was one of the brightest and she had named it after her best friend. Tears flooded her eyes the minute she saw it but the corners of her lips twitched at the thought of him. Ah! He made her smile so easily

He is tall and handsome with beautiful blue hair and emerald eyes. He has a slim well toned body and looks every inch of the drop dead handsome football captain he is. But it isn't his game or his position as HRH (his royal hotness) that she loved so much, it was much more than that. He is basically a very sweet person, caring, a bit silent, very innocent and his voice…….it was so soft and reassuring that she could melt faster than even butter. He is her lifeline and she missed him so much. "GOD DAMN IT, me and my stupid ego!" she thought as she reached for her pillow and threw it at the opposite wall. As usual her poor aiming skills resulted in her pillow landing on her already full and messy dressing table instead of the wall. She could make out the outline of her pillow falling to the floor along with a few bottles of nail polish. She didn't care! In fact she didn't care about anything when he was not around, not even her grades!! "Why does everything happen to me?" she whispered to the wind. Then she sighed and pulled up her blankets which was unusual as she could take up to 10 degrees without so much as a sweater, but the chill of loneliness hit her hard even as she cuddled under her blankets…..and as she repeated the words "I miss you" a hundred times, she fell into a deep uncomfortable sleep.

"Your arms are my castle,

Your heart is my sky,

You wipe away the tears that I cry…."

The words were loud and clear and were coming from somewhere on her bed. It took her a minute to realize it was her cell phone ringing and that she had changed her ring tone only recently. She hunted for the small hi-tech object through the messy bed and after a few seconds fumbled on the talk button.

"Hello" she asked sleepily, her voice was a bit hoarse after all the crying.

"Lacus? This is Athrun, wake up you sleepy head" her best friend's voice came from the other end.

"Athrun? Its you – it's really you – oh thank goodness!" she said as her heart soared

"Yea, it's me! What is so surprising? Anyway I'm running low of balance so I'll come over in half an hour and then we can go to the mall. Is that okay??" he asked

She could only say a weak sure and hang up. Athrun was by now very confused, knowing yori he had expected something like "honestly!! How many times do I have to tell you that I am not a morning person??"

On the other hand Lacus was trying to make up her mind whether to confess or not and she sub- consciously made her bed, took a bath and wore a randomly picked frock, tied up her hair and cleaned up her mess. Then with a sigh she went to the balcony and stood there waiting for him. But Athrun being Athrun came 15 min late and after being shown in by her mom, he came directly to her room.

"Wotcher!" he said entering the room and freezing on the spot. Something was seriously wrong! Lacus was actually ready and waiting silently. It was just not possible; she usually made him wait a minimum of half an hour, asking him to choose everything from her dress to the shade of her gloss.

"Wow!" he said "ready in half an hour's notice? Now that's a shock!" she suddenly seemed very interested in the flooring and remained silent. "This is going to be one long day" Athrun thought deciding to play along and went around the room observing quietly. He came to a halt before her dressing table and she watched as his eyebrows went higher up the forehead

"What happened to your nail polish collection? Got bored of them or what??"

"They broke" she mumbled and he was hardly able to catch the words.

"And do I get an explanation for this?" he asked, his voice suddenly stern, he was holding up a pen- knife.

She said nothing but simply held out her left hand which was full of scratches and cuts. He gave her a look of utter disbelief, then asked "will that do? Or do you need anymore of those?" his voice dripped with sarcasm.

She looked at him for a minute and said "you can cut a few more if you want"

"I'll pretend that I didn't hear that" he said biting his lower lip and trying to calm himself down.

Lacus knew that she was crossing the limit but right now nothing mattered, so she said "you don't have to, I really truly meant that"

He glared at her and said "there better be a good reason for all this or I'm going to kill you!"

Those words made her loose all the interests she had on the floor and looked at him straight into his eyes for the first time since he came and tears raced down her cheeks as she asked " if you kill me, my ego will also vanish right?" her question was childish, but hey that's Lacus.

Ego? Ego ?? He racked his brains. Where was all this coming from? They had only lost contact for a month right? I mean how much can happen in one month? Okay maybe a lot…….now it was his turn to sigh. He went and closed the balcony doors, threw the pen-knife into the dust bin and then pulled her towards the bed. He pulled her close and let her lean on his shoulder, right now was one of the times he felt fiercely protective of her. She was only a few years younger than him but she was sooo childish and he was actually glad he was there for.

"What's wrong? He asked gently. She simply shook her head and said nothing.

"Common wont you even tell me??" he asked sounding hurt.

"I want to tell you …….but I can't" she said

"And why is that??" was his soft question.

"Because if I tell you, you'll never talk to me again" she said and tears continued to flow down her cheeks.

"Don't be stupid! Do you really think I can stay without talking to you??" his sincerity was shown in his voice.

"I don't know, you tell me" she said turning to look at him.

He sighed again, girls were so difficult "no, I can't okay? In fact I've missed you, which is why I came over A.S.A.P"

"ohhhh……" she was wondering whether to believe that or not, because she knew she didn't mean much to him.

"But I was surprised when you didn't call even once…"

"I – I was –"she broke down crying into his arms. She couldn't take it anymore, not now that he was here…….all the pain, all the hurt…it all came back to her. But she also knew better than to tell him everything.

"How can I expect him to understand?? How do I tell him?? I'm being stupid, bothering him with all this! But I don't have anyone else….oh why do I depend on him so much???" she thought. Then after about 15min of crying she regained a bit of self- control and decided to admit some things.

"I was so damn stupid! I was thinking of you after the last time we spoke and then I realized I depend on you too much. I tried in vain to prove to myself that your calls were not important to me. But it hurt too much. Even though I never admit it, you are my only solace, you are everything to me. Within 2 weeks I started to feel so lost without you. I just missed you too much. I stopped myself from calling you by hurting myself but then even that didn't work!!! So I gave up and tried to call but your cell was always switched off. I'm so sorry. I know you must hate me now…..and I know I don't deserve a great friend like you….." and she went on and on for another 10min. she was still crying hard but in a way he was happy to think she was actually getting over her ego by admitting it to him. But once again she proved herself to be Lacus – supersensitive, delicate and childish. He waited patiently as she drained herself of both tears and emotion.

Then she finally asked "Are you angry with me?" He actually was, because she had broken her promise and cut herself but he said "no, now are you ready? We have a mall to go to remember??"

She looked at him a bright smile back in place and asked "are you kidding? I need to get ready!! What do you think I should wear? Jeans or skirt??

He laughed lightly and made her choices for her for the next 25 minutes.

Then suddenly she exclaimed "OMG!!!! My favorite pink nail polish"

"You broke it!" he said matter - of – factly

"Yea, I know" she said miserably and the added cheerfully "on the bright side, we know what tops our shopping list now"

"Ugh! There is no way I'm coming to a cosmetics shop" he said as he walked out of her room. she laughed as she followed him out and closed the door. Nothing can go wrong when he is around………

This is a tribute to a very precious friend and was truly heart felt so please bother to submit your reviews. thanks