Bleeding Roses

Summary: And the closer you are to a rose, the more it is able to hurt you. Yet Jace is still irrevocably allured to get as close as possible with the one rose he can never have. One-shot.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Mortal Instruments series, Cassandra Clare does – as she certainly is responsible for all my frustration, desperation and downright longing for having to wait for City of Glass.

Author's Note: This idea wouldn't leave my head; all night I had thought about it. I had just finished rereading City of Bones and City of Ashes, and it still deeply upsets me that Clary and Jace aren't together.

In this story it is an alternate universe entirely. Clary and Jace are both human, no powers, no nothing and they have never met before.

It had all happened so fast.

To Clarissa Fray, nothing seemed real anymore.

First thing, she never would have believed she had a father. Her mother had never talked about him, never wanted to share the amazing or gruesome details of the only man she had once truly loved. Often when she was a child, Clary would think her father was dead. It was a lot easier to accept than thinking of what had really happened, whatever that was. Had he left her and her mother, and he really didn't care about her at all? Or did her mother kick him out and maybe he did want to see how Clary was doing, but just didn't have the nerves to find out? Clary didn't know, and she never would know.

Until now.

Secondly, she never would have thought she would have a brother either. Clary had always wanted a brother. Secretly, she would wish for a sibling, specifically an older brother. Sometimes the loneliness was unbearable. She did have friends, but she always wondered what it'd be like to have an irritating affection towards another person. Nevertheless, Clary was convinced that even if her and her brother hated each other guts; he would always protect her. Clary always felt she had to take care of her mother, that sometimes she was the parent and her mother was the child that needed to be protected. Mostly, she had always wanted an older brother so he could take on that role. He could be the one who was strong when she couldn't be.

But suddenly, when she thought she had lost all the family she had left; she was stupefied to discover she not only had a father, but an older brother as well. Lucky her…. She felt a spasm of pain through her heart at the word 'brother'.

When she received that phone call nearly a month ago; she had been doing her usual. She had never expected things to change so drastically, so quickly. She had been laughing away at something that her best friend, Simon, was saying. But as far away as the moment seemed, Clary remembered it down to the very last detail.

Her cell phone began to ring, the same last month favourite song of hers because she was too lazy to update to a new song. Simon groaned, "You still have that song?"

Clary shrugged, "I like it."

Sliding her cell phone up, she pressed it against her ear without looking who was calling. "Hello?"

"Clarissa." The voice sounded strained, and a bit out of breath. Clary didn't recognize the voice.

"Who are you?"

Simon raised one of his eyebrows, concerned, "Who is it, Clary?"

Clary shrugged in response.

"Clarissa, it's me," the voice cracked, "Jessie, your neighbor." She sounded exasperated.

"Oh," Realization hit her, "hey, what's up?"

Jessica didn't say anything, and it was then Clary realized that she was sobbing. Clary swallowed unsurely, what ever could have happened? Jessica and her weren't exactly friends, but they waved courteously whenever they saw each other.

Jessica breathed, her voice as soft as a whisper. "It's your Mom. She got into an accident."

Instantaneously, Clary dropped the phone.

Everything after that seemed like a blur. After that moment, Clary couldn't exactly pinpoint how everything up to this point had happened. She had rushed home to find her neighbors frantic. Then they all scurried to the hospital, and excruciatingly waited for the verdict. Clary found herself staying over their house in anxiety for her Mother. Simon had tried his best to comfort her, but nothing seemed to process. Soon enough, too soon, some sort of high representative came and said that Clary now had to go live with her father, who Clary never even knew was alive. Then there was meeting him, and finding out she had a brother. The funeral had somehow happened in all the jumble of things. All these little events were completely fuzzy in her mind.

Clary had no idea what was going on. Simon had been absolutely dismayed, endlessly worrying about her the entire time. And just when Clary wanted to just stay with Simon and cry her eyes out, she knew she had to be strong. He would have been even more distraught if Clary showed how really upset she was. The last thing Clary wanted to was to bring down Simon along with her, to soak in her misery.

Reminiscing wasn't hard. A million thoughts swirled and overwhelmed Clary in her mind. She remembered distinctly one time, when she was little and finally worked up the courage to ask about her father. Her mother told her that he was dead. Clary wasn't sure if her mother was serious or not, but Clary hadn't pushed it further. The distant yet calm look on her mother eyes was something so incomprehensible that she dared not speak another word. Clary just let the subject be, like an ashamed piece of stained clothing left to hang out in the open and forgotten. As she grew older, Clary thought of it as a good thing—her father dead. She didn't even know him, didn't have any memories at all of him. And that way, she wouldn't… couldn't miss him. No matter how much she was tempted to, it was useless to miss a person she didn't even know, didn't even remember.

But oh, how she wished for a 'Dad'. Every time Father's Day rolled around, her friends felt so sympathetic of her. And Clary was so sick of it… even Simon had that look of distressed pity. And he was supposedly her best friend, if anything he should have acted like everything was normal. But he didn't, he was always so careful of Clary, always so aware of her feelings and how sensitive she could be. Maybe that's why they were so close….

Growing up, she saw all her friends with both a Mom and a Dad, and Clary wondered endlessly what her Dad would be like. She had wondered what he looked like, what he loved in her mother, what he liked to do… and now she had a chance to find out.

And Clary was terrified.

But the first time she met her brother, she didn't even know they were related… and neither did he.

Another close friend of hers, Angela, was determined to cheer Clary up before she moved away and they hardly got to see each other again. Despite the mood Clary was in, she appreciated Angela's efforts greatly. Simon just didn't understand how she felt, though he did feel awful for her, and Clary had hated the heavy sorrowful silence that had settled between them.

Angela was like a breath of air, a reminder of her old life before everything got so complicated. Angela always had a party to go to on the weekend. She always knew where to go, a general idea who would be there, and whether or not the cops would show. It was only a mere coincidence that he was there that one night…

°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°

Jonathan Christopher Wayland lazily glanced around the room of yet another one of his friend's parties. He didn't find any extraordinary out of this party, but he couldn't help but feel like something was about to happen. He couldn't exactly distinguish it, but it was this gut feeling that so far in his entire life, had always been right. It was like a spark just before it lit up in ardent, burning flames. But nothing had perked up, nothing really had happened yet; it was just the same old usual. Several girls came up to him frequently, in sad attempts to flirt with him. He flirted back with them, and always left them wanting more.

They were nothing but brief, temporary amusement.

After witnessing yet another girl fail to grasp Jace's unattainable attention; Alec, one of his best friends approached him. "So Jace, what was wrong with her?" Alec smirked.

Jace shrugged nonchalantly, "Nothing."

"Nothing as in she wasn't anything special, wasn't any different from the rest of them nothing?"

Jace nodded; Alec knew him far too well. "Maybe, you should finally let somebody in… It might do some good for you," he suggested.

"You're one to talk, man," Jace merely laughed. Alec had always been so glued shut – never had a girlfriend yet. He always stayed with the same friends and never even put in the slightest effort towards new ones. He didn't even seem interested in girls at all.

Alec came up with a retort, but Jace didn't catch it. In the corner of his eye, something flickered, and caught his interest, at an instant. The spark. Or rather, someone had…

Turn the lights off in this place
And she shines just like a star

He didn't know why, but the very moment he laid eyes on her; he felt captivated. He felt a strange pull towards her, as almost as if he knew her. But he knew he had never met before, he would have remembered her glossy scarlet hair, and glimmering emerald eyes. Through out the whole night, he somehow found his gaze focused on her. And her only.

And I swear I know her face
I just don't know who you are

From a distance, she finally caught his gaze. Jace didn't look away; he never was intimidated when somebody realized that he was staring at them. She stared right back at him, her shining green eyes never faltering, never flinching. And a moment too soon, she looked away. Her cheeks turned a lovely pink. She whispered something to her friend beside her. The friend beside her then looked at him, analyzing him and nodded, a smile plastered on her face.

That was it, he was in. He'd gotten the 'friend approval' effortlessly. But, it wasn't like Jace cared, she was just some hot – no, gorgeous girl. She was just some girl. Or was she?

Come closer
Come closer

Jace smirked, feeling the unwelcome feeling to suddenly get closer. He felt it pulse through him, commanding him. It wasn't like anything he had felt before. It was so hard to ignore, so hard to just brush off. He decided against it, trying to fight it, trying to resist… trying to resist her.

In a spur of a moment decision, he got up, ignoring his buddies' questionings, and went straight up to the girl. He sat beside her, knocking her a bit to her side. "Ouch!" she frowned, now glaring at him. Her gleam in her eyes betrayed the scowl present on her luscious lips. Jace lowered his voice so that she could hear it over the blaring music, but just loud enough for her ears only.

"Stare all you want," he said, winking. The girl flushed immediately.

Because you can never have me. He thought as he walked away, aloof. Though at the time, he didn't realize how true that would be.

°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°

The second time they met, it was still well before the accident.

Angela gasped, "OhmiGod! It's that guy! That really hot guy from the party a while back!"

Clary sighed, scanning the crowd to see which guy Angela was all worked up about. She always saw some of the guys that she partied with later on, and she'd always squeal and act like if it was the most amazing thing in the world. No big deal.

But then again, it was.

Clary froze, dead in her tracks when she found Angela had gushing over that one guy. Him. The one with the daunting liquid gold eyes, beautiful face and cynical grin.

And I just can't break myself no way
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop

He walked straight up to them on instinct, and Clary suddenly felt nervous all over. She felt as if her knees would give out, and she would collapse right then, crumpled on the floor like a total idiot. She tried to get in control, and tried to tell herself to snap out of it. But she couldn't help it; she had been so entranced by this boy since the very moment he had laid eyes on her. There was just something about him that made her feel so completely alive. Something that willed herself to him, something so unexplainable, yet so right. He was nothing but all she had been thinking about lately, as she longed and wistfully regretted that she didn't do anything after he walked away from her that one night.

He looked her over in a bored manner, cool as ever. Clary felt something towards him abruptly, something was pulling her closer to him, and she could feel it almost demandingly. In her chest her heart was pounding, giving into the insane desire to get closer to him, and she didn't have the slightest idea why. But at that point, Clary hardly cared at all.

She wants to own me
Come closer
She says "Come closer"

"Hey," she greeted, it spilling out so naturally as if she knew him all her life.

He smiled devilishly, "Hello."

°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°

And I just can't pull myself away
Under her spell I can't break
I just can't stop

Jace didn't know why he felt so compelled to this girl. It was so alien to him, so different. He couldn't believe he had actually slipped her his number. What was he thinking? Well, obviously, he wasn't at the time. Jace Wayland didn't do that kind of things, at all, ever. But more so, he couldn't believe she had actually called him back. What was wrong with her? Nothing really, he answered himself. Nobody could resist him, and he knew it; he flaunted it. He didn't blame her at all… but then again, maybe it was because; she was different.

There had been something between them from the very moment they met.

Jace had never pursued a girl before; never had found a girl worth holding his interest. They had talked only a few times but soon enough, they were friends. There was just something about her that when Jace was with her; he felt so content. He felt such at ease with her, like everything was just so simple. It was easy, uncomplicated; everything around her had this soothing flow. Everything fit into place. It was like they had been friends their whole life.

But there was something more. Jace knew there was something more to her, something between them that went beyond just friends.

I still hear her loud and clear
Like she's right there in my ear
Telling me
That she wants to own me

He had never felt this pulled towards a girl ever before. He had even given her a rose. A rose! The more he saw her, the more he wanted to be even closer. The more he was around her, it had dawned on him that she was just so perfectly right for him. With her sweet charm, she had made him a better person. She somehow even understood him, she knew him. She knew him better than most of his friends that he knew his entire life did.

She completed him.

And that alone scared Jace the most. But Jace didn't think much of it; he cared about her so much that sometimes it hurt. There was just something about her haunting green eyes, and her ghost of a smile.

And soon enough, they both couldn't deny the inexplicable force that attracted them so closely together.

Almost like it was meant to be, that they were meant to be together forever.

I just can't stop
I just can't stop
And I just can't pull myself away

"Jace…" her voice gave him shivers when she said his name.

Her figure was small and petite, yet she projected so much confidence.

He had invited her to watch the stars with him, something he did often to clear his head. But lately, the stars just didn't cut it. With Clary, that was the only place Jace felt at peace now. With Clary, he probably could do and accomplish anything. With Clary, he could be so completely and blissfully happy without a thought in the world. With Clary, everything was what it was supposed to be. Nothing less, and nothing more.

Jace knew of a park away from the city, not too far away. He would never forget it, forget that moment in time. Her face had lit up, her eyes wide. She had stared in astonishment at the sight, "It's so pretty!"

The stars were amazing, but nothing in comparison to her.

Jace laughed softly, he didn't know why, but Clary had some sort of way of just stripping him down of all his walls, so that him, and only him was left vulnerable. Maybe that's why she was so valuable to him. Being with her was just so effortless. She saw straight through him. She understood him completely. He didn't have to hide anything from her, didn't have to keep anything away from her reach. With her, Jace didn't have to be anybody but himself.

They were lying in the grass, looking up at the stars. He tried pointing out a few constellations, but she didn't seem that interested.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing a strange quietness in her.

She turned over to her side to face him and she reached out to brush his soft blond hair from his eyes. Her touch was electrifying, as if she had shocked him with a blazing lightning bolt. It pierced him like a sudden hot stab of agony. Something came over Jace, and soon her body was tightly pressed against his. It was like some sort of spell, she held him tightly within her grasp. Jace always seemed to want more of her. Always wanted to get closer. Her jade eyes searched through his curiously.

"Jonathan," she whispered.

He frowned; nobody really called him by his full name. Except his father; he had gotten so used everybody calling him Jace that Jonathan was just so wrong. It sounded weird, even from her beautiful voice. But her voice just added to the exotic ring of it. "Jace. Call me Jace."

I just can't stop
I can feel her on my skin
I can taste her on my tongue

She noticed that his voice was raspy and breathy, like he had trouble speaking with her so close to him. Clary blinked, confused. "Jace…" she tested it out, it rolling off her tongue.

"Jace," she murmured, repeatedly, tightening her grip on him. His name and her voice together drove Jace to his limit.

He couldn't take it anymore, any longer… this closeness, her being in his well protected arms. In this moment, he realized something. He needed her, he needed to be close to her.

"Clarissa," he hissed, almost like if he was in pain, right before he kissed her.

°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°

Clary didn't exactly think she was going out with Jace, although Angela seemed to think otherwise. And Simon was indifferent to her; though she wasn't sure if it was because she spent more time with Jace than with him or whether he was just jealous of some 'pretty boy'. Clary had to admit that Simon was decent looking, with his dreamy dark brown eyes; and he was really a nice guy… but he was no Jace.

Jace, who was just simply too good to be true. There was nothing to compare. Jace would always win by a complete and absolute landslide. Clary just couldn't explain it. There were things… things that nobody else even realized about her that Jace just knew. He just knew it given in the short time he had known her, just naturally. He picked it up right away. While Simon had been there her entire life; he still didn't fully get her. But Jace… Jace was everything Clary could ever ask for.

After the accident, Clary hadn't returned his phone calls, and avoided him when she could – only because she knew she'd burst out crying in front of him. He already thought of her as a dainty breakable girl who needed protected, she didn't want to further confirm his assumptions.

But she did miss him. More than a lot.

And I just can't pull myself away
Under a spell I can't break
I just can't stop

She knew that she was hurting him in the process too, but Clary couldn't face him… at least not yet. It would be too much for her to bear; it'd be too overwhelming. There was only so much that she could take. There were only so much emotional outbursts, whether it be bad or good that her heart could handle.

Gathering up all the remaining courage she had, if any; she walked up to her father's house. It was the inevitable, and she would rather have gotten it done sooner than prolonging the misery. She rang the door bell hesitantly, desperately wanted to run away and pretend none of this had happened. All she wanted to do was run into Jace's arms while he reassured her that everything would be okay. Jace could make everything better. He could be her savior. He could take away her pain. Jace was invincible.

As she waited, Clary realized she was holding her breath. Breathe, she told herself.

A middle aged gentleman opened the door, "Hello… what can I do for you?"

Clary swallowed, all her confidence diminishing. So this was him. After all these years…. This was her father.

Clary didn't know how she knew, she just did. Clary had always been told that she looked like a younger replica of her mother. She did not show any resemblance to the man who was standing right in front of her. Clary didn't say anything; she couldn't force any words out. Nothing came to her mind. No sound would come from her voice. Confusing thoughts swirled in her mind. What could she say?

The man was also stunned, though Clary didn't have the slightest idea why he would be gawking at her. He couldn't tell that she was his daughter… could he?

She had obviously not thought this out thoroughly. She just continued to stare with a blank look upon her face. The man hesitated, "Cl-Clarissa?"

Clary nodded dumbly.

The man broke out into a smile, "Ah, yes. I wasn't expecting you so soon…" he sighed, adding sub-consciously as an after thought, "You look such like your mother…"

Clary froze, dead on the doorstep.

He quickly dismissed the thought, pretending not to have seen Clary falter.

"Come on in, after all, we're family now…" he welcomed, in the warmest way possible.

Awkward.

Clary's lips were still sealed shut. To her, this man may be her father; but she knew nothing of him. He was no better than a stranger.

She stepped into the foyer, slipping off her shoes. "I know this may be strange and awkward, "he paused. Bingo, Clary thought. "but let's go to the living room to discuss it all. I know this is hard on you, but you've got to have an open mind. I never knew I had a daughter either, so this is much of a surprise on you as it on me," he explained, gesturing her towards through the hallway to another room.

Clary just seemed to nod numbly. She just soaked up all the information so that it could all be squeezed out later like a gently used sponge. Clary was still too shocked about the whole idea, the whole thing. It still hadn't fully processed that this would be her life now. It was so hard to believe, and even more difficult to accept.

The house seemed normal enough… nice and spacious. But when she stepped into the living room, it wasn't the huge plasma big screen TV that entirely stunned her – that made her feel some sort of sickening shock in her gut, and made her heart lurch. It was the boy who was watching the television intently. It was obvious his mind was elsewhere, his glazed tawny eyes in some sort of trance or spell.

And I just can't break myself no way
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop

He looked so sad, and Clary knew exactly what was troubling him so.

She let out a quiet gasp, unable to help it and in a nanosecond; the boy's hard gaze focused on her. His eyes were like golden ice daggers, sharp, and probably just as dangerous.

"Jonathan? This is your sister, Clarissa. Clarissa, this is Jonathan, your brother…" her father introduced, unsurely.

Jonathan? Brother? Clary felt dizzy, woozy.

Jace's face drained of colour. Unbelievable. Unreal.

"You," he gritted, as if she was the most despicable, filthiest person on the entire earth.

Impossible.

°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°°.•¤¤•.°

After finding out Jace was her brother, her full blooded brother, Clary couldn't help but to feel disgusted. It was awful, terrible, sickening, horrifying, appalling, repulsive and just plain right unjust. After finding out that Jace had the exact same parents as her, Clary only wanted Jace that much more.

She's the sweetest taste of sin
The more I get the more I want

And Clary knew Jace felt exactly the same. Though he struggled to stay away from her, there was still that intensifying compelling force that attracted them together. Every time they looked at each other, they knew they both felt it.

It was forbidden, a hopeless wish for it to ever just be.

Every time Clary felt the urge to look at him, she tried her hardest not to. In the end, she couldn't help herself. He was just so mesmerizing. She found herself looking at him, almost as if she wanted to memorize his face, his every angle. The hard line of his mouth, his golden halo of curls on his head, his capricious gold eyes.... Clary wanted to capture him.

But Clary was willing to fight against it, fight against the only person that she thought she ever loved unconditionally.

"Jace, don't. Don't say it. I don't want to hear it," her voice sounded calm, but she was anything but. She was fighting a war against herself, and he was only making it that much harder. If he said out loud that he loved her, she would surely break. She would shatter into a million little tiny pieces, if she hadn't already.

And I just can't pull myself away
Under a spell I can't break

"But—"

"Don't," she said. Clary could tell by the blazed look in his golden eyes that he was hurting as much as she was. And he was trying so hard to fight for the truth, his love for her.

But it was impossible, and Clary knew that Jace was trying to do everything that he could to prove that she was wrong. That it was possible, that they were possible.

Clary knew better.

"We need this to stop, Jace," she said gravely.

"Stop what? Why are you interpreting this as such a bad thing? You look at me like I disgust you, that I sicken you. Why do you think it's so wrong?" he questioned, and his voice was more sad than anything.

"Because it is! We need to stop!" she burst out, unable to help it. Unable to bear the heartbroken look in his eyes and in his voice.

"But I can't," Jace protested. His voice had softened, almost pleadingly.

"Why are you doing this to me?" Clary asked softly, she could feel her eyes just about to water.

"You're lying. You're lying to me… to yourself," he said.

"The truth is that we're brother and sister. We can't be together, no matter how much we want to. I'm not lying to anybody," she replied.

I just can't stop
I just can't stop
Come closer

"Don't you think that I don't want it to be true either? I've been trying to forget you. I keep repeating to myself that you're my sister," his usual soothing tone was laced with malice; "I want to hate you, Clarissa. But I can't. You're the only person I've really cared about, ask any of my friends. You're the only girl who has any importance to me. You're the only one who matters."

Clary looked away; she was just as much in love with him as he was with her. But it would never happen. It could never ever happen. They were family, no matter how much they both wished they weren't.

"You make me feel like I belong," he whispered, breaking the heavy silence.

"Jace…" All she wanted to do was to comfort him. Wanted to wash away all his pain and hurt in his eyes and tell him that he was the only one that made her happy. She wanted to take away all the pain he was feeling, and tell him that she loved him, and that she wanted him more than anybody else in the entire world. She wanted to tell him that he was the most amazing person ever, and that she loved him so much that it hurt. There was nobody else that could ever love him that much. But she couldn't. She couldn't; they couldn't be – no matter how happy it would make them both.

"And I belong with you." His determination was commendable. It was so intense, so full of passion. It reminded Clary of an enraged lion.

Jace was a golden lion. Courageous; king; vicious; deadly – Jace had it all, and he looked just about to pounce, just about to leap and tear her apart into little shreds. Hypothetically, of course; Jace would never hurt her intentionally. But that's just what he was doing to her… he was tearing apart her heart and he probably didn't even know it.

And I just can't bring myself away
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop, I just can't stop

"No… you don't. We don't belong together. I… have moved on. You should too, Jace. It's what's best. It's what's right. We are not meant to be together. We can't be. I think it's illegal." Clary choked on her own words, determined to convince Jace that she didn't love him anymore, no matter how much that was a lie.

"We could run away," he suggested. As always, he saw straight through her. He knew that she wanted him more than anything ever possible. But it wasn't possible; it couldn't ever happen. They could never be.

And I just can't bring myself away

"And just lie to everybody we know? I can't do that… You wouldn't like it either. We'd just be living a huge lie. I can't do that…"

"Please, Clary…if we feel the same way… it shouldn't matter. Please," The desperation in his voice scared Clary more than anything. It tore her apart to see him like this. He looked so broken… something that Clary never thought could happen. Jace was always so composed, always so untouchable. Nothing broke Jace; he was invincible.

Clary shook her head, "Jonathan. I don't love you. Not like that." Her voice trembled, and even though Jace knew she was lying, the spasm of hurt he felt in his chest never lessened.

"My name is Jace."

His tone was something so venomous. He had never spoken like that before.

Clary felt almost as if she was suffocating, even though she didn't show it, she could faintly hear the pieces of her heart breaking. But she knew this was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. She didn't have any other choice.

I just can't stop, no
Said I just can't stop, no
Said I just can't stop
No

"There is nothing we can do. There is nothing I can do to change the fact. And there is nothing you do either. Why are you making this harder than it already is? Just accept it. Nothing can change who we are."

Jace didn't say anything, he just continued to stare at her with a blank empty look in his usual warm eyes. It looked like it was his soul that was empty. Nothing broke Jace - nothing but his own sister.

"I always wanted a brother." It was such a simple sentence. And it portrayed so much. It was true though, but Clary would never have thought that Jace, her Jace, would be him. Her brother.

The real truth that Clary was trying so hard to deny was that she was in love with him. In love with her brother, her own flesh and blood.

Come closer

Jace was stunned.

He wouldn't let his little sister see how much she had hurt him. He refused to let her know how brokenhearted he felt. He would never let her know how much it hurt when she had pierced a stake straight through his heart. Jace had far too much pride to let that happen. Though she probably knew how much she hurt him. But that didn't mean Jace had to go and show her the results of all her damage. No, he couldn't let her know. He was good at keeping his emotions controlled. He could handle this. He could pretend that she never hurt him. He could go on as if none of this had ever happened.

As he watched her walk away, he felt all his stone walls trap him back into his self built dungeon. He'd never let anybody in again, he was so foolish to trust Clary. To call off his protection so that she could get to close to him. But now that Clary was in, he knew that she wouldn't leave. She was inside his well built walls, but at the same time… she was so far away.

"Fine," his tone became indifferent, emotionless, "I'll just be your brother from now on."

I just can't stop

His tawny eyes as almost as if he was expecting a satisfaction from her. How could he expect that of her? Her heart was breaking; he was smashing her into little pieces that could never be put back together.

Despite that, Clary knew it was the right thing to do. They were brother and sister, and nothing more. And she had to accept that, no matter how much she wanted not to.

It took her a long time to respond; it was almost like she couldn't bring herself to say it.

"Yes." Her voice was almost incoherent. She didn't want to say it, didn't want to confirm that all they could be was brother was sister. But Clary had to.

Love wasn't like a tap. You couldn't just turn if off, you can't just tell it to stop. But Jace had to, that's what Clary wanted. And Jace was damned if he couldn't have her, and he couldn't respect what she wanted, even if she was lying to herself. She didn't want him not to love her, he knew by the pain in her emerald eyes… but she had chosen it'd better he didn't. She had made her choice. The least he could do was try to make her happy, even if he wasn't the one making her sun rise everyday.

Jace decided he would always be closed. He couldn't let anybody to hurt him ever again. He felt his walls shut down around him. It was absolute. It trapped him, isolated, but safe. And even though his sister was in the dungeon with him, he could never touch her. He could see her, but she would never be his. That's why Jace chose to cower in his own corner while she was in hers, not daring ever to meet. He could be there for her, but only as a brother and nothing more. He could take care of her in a very limited aspect. It wasn't what he wanted, but it was better than nothing. At least he could see her, and wasn't totally blinded from a sturdy barrier. At least he wasn't totally amputated of her presence forever. But he might as well be, because she would never be his.

He would go on with his life, and so would she.

Come closer, closer.
Closer.

And he would always be close to her, the closest he could ever possibly get.

But he knew, pushing down and smothering the burning desire of loving her to where he could not ever possibly reach it anymore…

Come closer.
It would never be close enough.

Disclaimer: Song lyrics are "Closer" – NeYo, one of my all time favourite songs ever.

-Aliaandraa