Chapter One
It had been a long day at work and I was overjoyed to be done for the day. I loved writing for the crime section of the newspaper but the job got overwhelming sometimes. I had started working there just before graduating Hearst three years ago. It had been a very eventful three years and I try not to dwell on it. I shake thoughts of the past out of my head and get in my car and head home to my house. As I walk in I am welcomed by the TV blaring in the living room and shoes littering the entryway. I smile and make my way into the living room where the love of my life is sitting watching Barney. As I walk in my 5 year old daughter turns and greets me with a smile and hug. I pay and dismiss the nanny and join my daughter Olivia Mars on the couch to unwind and watch some TV.
You are probably wondering who Olivia's dad is, everyone always does. Well at least they did until she was around 3 and she began looking more and more like her dad everyday. Well Olivia's dad is the great Logan Echolls: son of deceased movie stars Aaron and Lynn Echolls, critically acclaimed author of the book Dying for a Heart, and also Oscar winning actor of a movie based on the book he wrote. Yes, he has everything and I am just little old Veronica Mars: single mother, journalist, and daughter of Sheriff Keith Mars. You see Logan doesn't even know about Olivia but it is his own fault.
After our breakup freshman year over Logan sleeping with Madison I was angry and swore to myself I would never date him again. Yeah, that didn't work out too long because Logan seems to make girls fall for him hard, even me. So our sophomore year we began dating again and this went perfect until the summer before junior year. All of a sudden we began arguing all the time and disagreeing on pretty much everything. Towards the end of the summer Logan informed me that he couldn't do the on-again-off-again relationship anymore and he needed someone with more stability than me. He left that night without as much of a goodbye. I became very emotional the following weeks and I soon began spending the mornings over the toilet. Parker and Mac became worried about me and convinced me to let them take me to a doctor, It was at that doctor visit that I found out that I was pregnant with Logan's baby.
I went trough the depression stage, and the denial, and the happiness and I eventually became anxious and ready to have a baby. I tried unsuccessfully to contact Logan to tell him about the baby. He had cancelled all of his credit cards and phone numbers and he hadn't old anyone where he was going. So, instead of having Logan by my side through the pregnancy and when Olivia was born I had Mac and Parker who ended up moving in with me to help me out. When Olivia was 2 everything began to change. Logan all of a sudden was all over the news and everything. He had been in seclusion for the last two and a half years while writing his book and he was now famous. I once again tried to contact him but all of his secretaries had express orders never to put me through to him. Eventually I gave up and decided to go on living life as a single mother because Logan did not want anything to do with me.
That same year both Parker and Mac moved out. Parker decided to move back home to Colorado to help her mother who had severe arthritis and was all alone. We still keep in touch although even after he mom passed away last year she decided to stay in Colorado and is dating a guy from high school. And then there's Mac who moved out because she decided it was time to step out on her own and try the whole independence and responsibility thing. Surprisingly she began dating Dick Casablancas about two years ago and then they got engaged almost a year ago now. The wedding is just in one short month and I am excited to see Parker who is coming back to Neptune for the wedding to join me as one of Mac's bridesmaids while Olivia fills the role of flower girl.
As the weeks before the wedding flew by I found myself wishing I had done things differently with Logan. Maybe if I had been kinder, more loving, and ready to settle down then maybe he would still be here today. Maybe it would've been me in the long white dress with the smile that could light up a room. But there is nothing fun about playing the "would've, should've, could've" game so I decide to thing about what I do have which is great friends, a beautiful daughter, a great job, and a loving father. All in all my life is great even if it isn't perfect.
Finally the day of Mac and Dick's wedding arrived and I laughed and joked with my two best friends as I dressed Olivia and myself before the wedding. All of a sudden it was time to walk down the aisle and I walked arm in arm with Wallace while Parker walked right behind with one of Dick's frat house friends. Olivia followed behind Parker and she did perfect throwing petals from side to side while her signature smile was plastered on her face. Mac looked beautiful as she came down the aisle and soon she was Mrs. Casablancas. We all headed outside for the reception and I had my hands full trying to keep Olivia's flower girl dress clean for pictures. Eventually I gave up and in the last few pictures the dress had a couple food and dirt stains on it but no one seemed to care. After two exhausting hours of mothering and picture taking I finally got a break and decided to sit down and eat a piece a cake while watching Olivia play on the nearby playground. Halfway through my cake the chair behind me slid out and someone slipped in next to me. But I was so busy watching Olivia boss around the other kids that I didn't realize who it was until they spoke.
"She's beautiful Ronnie, just like you." My heart stopped beating and I slowly found myself staring into Logan's deep brown eyes. He smiled at my utter loss of words and continued talking. "I couldn't miss Dick's wedding. We friends once and he has become a great man and he will be great to Mac. I've missed you though and I knew you'd be here so that is more the reason I came. Except I didn't expect you to have a significant other with you." He said while motioning to where Olivia was playing.
All of a sudden the awe and happiness in seeing Logan faded and the anger I had harbored for five agonizing years surfaced. "Yeah well if you hadn't disappeared off the face of the earth and denied all of my calls you may have gotten the message I was trying to give you. You know, the fact that you have a daughter and that you left me here without so much as a goodbye. I can't do this with you Logan. It was nice to see you and all but I can't get my heart broken again. So I am sorry that you traveled all this way to see me but I guess you should head home and have a great life." With that I stood up and grabbed my purse. I motioned Olivia over and told her it was time to head home. I could feel Logan's eyes following us as we said goodbye to Mac and Dick and as I loaded Olivia into my car and headed home.
After bathing Olivia and putting her to bed I lay in my own empty bed and the tears finally came. All of the anger I hade felt earlier was now replaced by sadness and loneliness from losing Logan once again. Around midnight the doorbell rang and after drying my eyes I made my way downstairs and opened it without seeing who was there first. As soon as I had the door open I realized my mistake. Logan was on the other side and as soon as I opened the door her had me in his arms and was holding me to his chest. My sadness returned and I began sobbing into the chest of the man who had always known when he was needed the most. Logan closed the door and picked me up in his arms and carried me to the couch. While I continued to cry he whispered loving sentiments into my ear and made promises I only dreamed I would ever hear from him again.
Soon my crying subsided and I knew we needed to talk. But he was the one who had left, the one who had done the heart breaking, the one that needed to start the conversation. He seemed to sense this and he began talking as his brown eyes locked with my own blue ones "Veronica I still love you, I always have. I made a mistake 5 years ago by leaving and I continued to make that mistake by not letting you into my life in those five years. There has been no one else in that time. I haven't dated anyone because I could not get you the woman I love out of my head."
"Then why didn't you come back? Why did you not take my calls? How can you love me but not care to talk to me?" I asked on the verge of tears once again.
Logan sighed and he also looked on the verge of tears as he continued. "Because I didn't want to hurt you. Everyone always hurts you and I do it time and time again and I just couldn't keep hurting you. I needed time to think about everything and I did have that time. I ended up putting my thoughts into my book. Did you read it?" I nodded. I had bought Logan's book the day it went on sale and read it all that night. The book was about a young man who in a fit of passionate rage murdered the love of his life and then the story is his thoughts of all that he had done and the mistakes he had made and how much he missed the woman he had loved. All of a sudden something clicked in my head and I realized that I represented the murdered love and those were Logan's thoughts in the book. He had been afraid to follow in his father's murderous footsteps so he had run. All of a sudden I understood all that he was trying to tell me and I never wanted him to leave again.
"You left because you thought you'd hurt me," I looked him in the eyes and continued, "But you only hurt me by leaving Logan. You broke me when you left and you cannot leave again. I love you too and I need you. I know I don't say it enough but I need you more than air Logan. And Olivia needs a dad. And not just any dad, she needs her dad. She needs you. Please stay Logan, please stay with us and promise never to leave again!" The tears began to spill over Logan's eyes as he pulled me close and whispered the most wonderful words I had ever heard.
"I promise to stay with you forever."
A/N: So, more chapters? Epilogue? Or leave it here…let me know and review please!!!!