He swept another raindrop from his hair as another bolt of far off lightning lit the dark room. Even the morning after they had gotten caught in a downpour, still rain came down in sheets. The window slid shut again and thunder growled low, a warning to those who dared to venture out into the worsening weather.

He could have sworn that she was there again, this rainy day a different one, the place one far away, when he had first opened his eyes. Even the view was the same.

Would he have to follow her to wake up without her in his head again?

Chores waited for him, silent voices in the silent room, but they too could wait for another day, another time and place, another breath. Companions waited outside the door, waited with their own demons riding their shoulders; they wouldn't be able to pull him up from drowning today.

It was so easy to forget when the sun was out, the only way to live was when the sun was out, and he was dying to forget that she'd ever lived.

Dying to live without her again.

A pale comparison was all that existed, all that remained. His companions were the only trust against the night and pain. Their noise was a grateful distraction from a beautiful disaster, bringing him beyond the conclusion he showed the world, ending the fairytale story of love and glory so broken inside his head.

Breaking inside of him.

Wishing he could live without her again.

There was a thought he could do this, a thought that it would be all right, a thought that he could say goodbye, but now…not a prayer he can survive.

Lightning again- the unmade beds in the corner of the room glow white like mad ghosts chasing him from sleep. Sleep so easy to attain and so far from here…is it wrong, dying to die just to come back so we can meet again, so we can be together again?

Words unspoken lay entombed, silence berating him for what he always should have said, always needed to say, needs to say as he stares at the rain. Only words of regret stir and pierce thorns into soft, bleeding memory lying vulnerable in the rain.

I'm dying and I can't live without you again It's a strange emotion that can start and stop a heart, that can bring hope to the alter for slaughter; hope unable to die as long as there's a breath...

The rain bounces off the glass and a promise shatters; blink back the remnants one more time as rain trickles down the wall where it slides under the window frame. It won't give up.

I'm Dying and I can't live without you

Wipe down the window and the wall, try to forget about it all but he's unable to refrain…its such a shame such a beautiful soul could be in such pain and the windows of his eyes close, face upturned to the faint light from the sky.

Hope for one more day, one more story, one sunrise, compromise, insatiable demise.

I'm Dying and I can't live without you again

End

a/n- I heard this song and thought of a green eyed character… wanted to find out what goes on in his head when it rains, behind that smile in denial… hope you enjoyed.

Lyrics to Dying by Five for Fighting