CHAPTER ONE

SNAPES ON A TRAIN

DAN

Perched on a bench near platform nine and one quarters was Dan. He gazed quietly at all the students leaving for Hogwarts through platform nine and three quarters. He had learned long ago that he wasn't allowed to take the same platform as all the other students. If he followed them he would miss the right train and wouldn't be able to make it to Hogwarts on time. He didn't think that he should have to ride a separate train just because everyone thought he was different.
Pondering himself while waiting, he tried to figure out what others thought was wrong with him. He was slightly tall and had broad shoulders, though he was no more than an inch or two taller than all the other students. No one had ever called him ugly but then again no one had ever said he was cute either. Hermione had said he was being cute once while she was petting him on the head. Though he knew that wasn't the same. Having been sorted into Ravenclaw he didn't think his intelligence had anything to do with it either. So if it wasn't because of looks or intelligence it had to be because he thought he was a dragon.
Earlier he had watched Hermione and her friends pass through the wall of the platform. Hermione seemed to be in a hurry but she had still found time to smile and wave at him. Dan had just grinned, showing all is teeth, and waved a single claw at her. When she wasn't looking, her stupid friend Ron had made funny faces at him. His response had been to growl and flip Ron the bird. Luckily Harry had grabbed the pissed off Ron and dragged him through to the train otherwise Dan might have had to finally eaten him.
Someone, singing rather loudly, made Dan turn to see one of his two best friends walking up.
"I see people walking and talking, and look it's someone's baggage..." She trailed off as she stopped singing to admire Dan's lone red bag sitting up against the wall. Dan knew her name was Deidra but he usually called her Deij whenever he chose to speak the human language. She was always so full of energy and it wasn't common for her to not be dancing about and singing. He learned fast that she was a very creative witch. After all she had already invented over five hundred new spells since she had been at Hogwarts. Though he figured she couldn't remember any of them. She had to ride the train with him because she was considered to have the worst case of A.D.D. ever.
"Dan, your scales are shining brightly this morning." Deidra said as she finally looked over at him.
"Thank you." Dan said in a half hiss half growled voices. Before he could say anything else Deidra wondered over and onto the railroad tracks.
As a security guard was trying to get her attention Dan felt someone sit down on the bench next to him. Having not sensed anyone approaching with his superior senses he leapt from the bench onto all fours and in a crouching position wheeled around to see who his attacker was. To his surprise it was his other best friend Tracie. He should have known it would be her. She was the only person at Hogwarts that could sneak up on him like that.
She said nothing and didn't look the least bit surprised by Dan's behavior. Most people took her for being the quiet shy loner type, but Dan knew there was more to her. She avoided emotions at all costs. Whenever she became aware of a strong emotion she was feeling she would have to lie down and have a spasm. Dan had no idea whether or not it was a real condition or if she was doing it on purpose. He didn't care and just accepted her as she was like she excepted him. At least he assumed she accepted him.
She hadn't ever verbally told him how she felt about him. On one occasion though he had asked her if she liked him and wanted to be his friend. She had just stared at him for a second before slowly laying down on the ground and shaking for a good ten minutes. That was good enough for him and from that point on they had been best friends. At least as best of friends as a dragon and circumstantially emotionless girl could be.
Dan leapt back up onto his perch next to Tracie as Deij came spinning and singing something about Neville.
"What classes did you sign up for?" Tracie asked.
"I've been paired with Neville! I'm so excited. The teachers found out that I can get way better grades when I work... oh my god that woman has a poodle. I hope she isn't bringing it to school. I got several new school uniforms and I love the giant bows!" Deidra mostly answered before getting distracted.
"And what about you Dan?" Tracie asked not expecting more than a growl.
"Hermione." Dan hissed.
"How do you always manage to get into all the same classes with the smartest witch in our school?" Tracie replied.
Dan just gave her a shrug then tapped one of his claws to his forehead.
"I think I am the only person in the entire world that knows how smart you can really be. What I don't get is how you manage to pass your exams barely able to hold your wand with your claws. Or how you can cast spells while growling and hissing." Tracie said having understood his simple answer.
Dan raised a claw as if he was about to make a point when a whistle blew. They were the only three people in the entire station to hear it. It was a whistle meant just for the three of them it was the sound that said they could start their fourth year of wizardry and witchcraft. Now the special Hogwarts students could finally enter platform nine and one quarters and board there small train with tinted windows

Just like every year before Tracie was the first to line up in front of the train doors. The train was only one car long and was significantly shorter than your average train car. It only had two windows on each side and all of them were tinted almost completely black. There were only two doors on the train. The back one was for emergencies only while the front was used by the students. The front door opened and Tracie found herself starring at Professor Snape.
"Grrrrr..." Dan said as he peered over Tracie's shoulder.
"Ms. Brazie would you please control your pet before I am forced to curse it!" Snape said without changing his expression. Dan Jumped out from behind Tracie and landed in the trains doorway. Hissing and clawing as if he was going to attack Snape. Snape was reaching for his wand but Tracie already had hers out.
"Serpensortia!" Tracie said as she flicked her wand at Dan. A large boomslang flew out and wrapped around Dan's arm. The boomslang happened to be one of the most poisonous snakes in the world. Dan knew this and stared dumbfounded at the snake waiting for it to bite him. The snake just stared back equally confused wondering why it was not in the jungle any more. The snake, however, was faster to snap out of it and opened it's mouth wide to reveal it's fangs. Dan thought his life was about to be ended by a snake.
"Serpenlegra!" Deidra shouted while pointing her wand at the snake. The snake didn't bite. Instead it start to shake slowly. Soon it picked up speed and was wiggling back and forth around Dan's arm.
"Awe, what happened to my snake. It was going to bite him." Tracie said sounding only mildly disappointed.
"I made it dance! My new snake dancing spell works. I better write that down in my notebook. Look my notebook has kittens on it. I drew all of them myself." Deij said already forgetting her new spell. Dan meanwhile finally tossed the snake off his arm and quietly boarded the train in defeat.
"If you are all done playing around with snakes, we need to get going." Snape said.
"P... Pro... Professor Snape, Why are you driving the train?" Tracie asked still standing in the doorway.
"Dumbledore believes one of you will be targeted by Voldemort. It's complete nonsense of course, as none of you could possibly have anything the dark lord would want. However, in case it is true, I wouldn't want someone from house Slytherin to be targeted. It would look poorly on my house if we lost a student before the term even began." Snape said.
"So you... did... did it for me?" Tracie said with realization sweeping over her. Before Snape could say anything else she slowly lay down in the trains doorway. A second later she was shaking violently as if having a seizure.
"My patients is running very thin. Don't be surprised if we all don't make it back to Hogwarts!" and then after a pause, "Bedeaux! Hill! Carry Brazie onto the train." Snape said starting to sound a little frustrated.
"Yes sir, Right away Sir!" Deij said as she saluted Snape and then proceeded to pick up Tracie's legs. Meanwhile Dan came over and picked up her arms with his claws. He had look of distrust on his face thinking she might throw another snake at him.
Both Dan and Deij found it difficult to carry the spazzing Tracie onto the train but they some how managed. After laying her in the middle of the floor, Dan sat in the seat next to her and gave her an evil eye. Deij went up and sat right behind Snape, who closed the doors to the train. Soon enough he train was moving towards Hogwarts.
"Hey Snape I just thought of a great idea for a movie." Deidra said.
"I just thought of seven spells that would shut you up." Snape replied coldly.
"It's called Snape's on a train! Get it's like that movie about snakes, but not like the snake from earlier. Actually I don't even know what the snake from earlier was. Maybe I should take a course about snakes. I wonder what courses I am taking. I can't wait to find out if I'm in Professor... Hey the windows are getting all icy." Deidra said.
"Dementors! Wands children... Now!" Snape said as he readied his own wand. Outside the windows Dan could see what looked like twenty Dementors circling the little train. It wasn't long until they were moving in on the train. "Patronus" Snape yelled as a dementor tried to come in through the front window. A glowing Doe came forth and chased the dementor away.
"Patronus!"Dan said as he raised his own wand at two Dementors coming at him from the side. A small kitten appeared in the seat and scratched it's head. The Dementors were not frightened by Dan's pathetic attempt at a patronus. Dan had never cast the spell before and was actually pretty proud of himself. He turned to see if he could get help from anyone. Deidra was going crazy casting the same spell over and over again.
"Patronus, Patronus... Patronus!" She yelled over and over again while pointing at various Dementors. Each time a new animal would appear and chase down a dementor. She had bunnies, foxes and birds running all over the place. Dan couldn't even fathom how this could be possible. He had thought everyone only had one forest animal as their patronus. Deidra appeared to have an entire forest of animals.
Dan turned back to see if his kitten had done anything, only to see the Dementors right on top of him. He growled but it did no good as they started to suck his soul out. It felt weird at first but soon became painful. It was almost unbearable and Dan though he was about to die for the second time in less then an hour when Snape's doe came flying over and chased the Dementors away. After taking a second to regain his bearings Dan turned to see all the Dementors were now fleeing, Deij's army of forest animals were now vanishing and Tracie was still shaking on the floor.
"I am almost impressed Ms. Hill." Snape said followed with, Take your seats so we can get going again." then he spun back to the train controls. Before he could get the train moving again there was an explosion on the roof. The cabin filled with smoke and cackling laughter.
"Did you really think the Dementors were after you! I should thank you for saving me but I'm going to kill you all!" Bellatrix said as she dropped down into the train practically on top of Tracie. Her wand raised toward Snape.
"Bellatrix, how nice of you to join our train of misfits." Snape said.
"Who did Potter give it too." She yelled and saw Snape reach for his wand. "Crucio!" Lestrange shouted. Tracie finally waking up, smashed her head into the woman's stomach as she was casting the curse. It caused her spell to Miss Snape and hit the rear view mirror instead. After hitting the rear view mirror it flew right back at Bellatrix who promptly fell to the floor in pain.
"Remarkable timing Brazie." Snape said as he walked over to the cringing Bellatrix and cast a immobulus spell on her.
"What happened?" Tracie asked.
"That can wait; right now let's toss Lestrange off the train." Snape replied and Dan jumped down to help him. Soon they had the crazy woman off the train and laying by the tracks.
"Repario." Deidra cast at the ceiling while Snape was getting the train going again. Dan sat back down in the back of the train feeling tired from everything that happened. After a moment Tracie stood up and came to sit next to him.
"Will you tell me what I missed?" Tracie asked.
"I'm not talking to you right now." Dan said quietly so that no one could hear his normal voice besides her.
"Why not?"
"You tried to kill me." Dan said angrily.

"It is true that I was looking forward to watching all the blood pour out from your entire body. However, I would have given you the anti-venom before you died." Tracie replied and showed him a small vile of liquid.
"Really?" Dan said returning to dragon speak as he thought Deij was approaching.
"I promise!" Tracie said with her fingers crossed behind her back. Dan smiled and started to tell her what had happened. Deij continued to do her very best at annoying Snape. And Snape... Well he just drove that train like any good Snape would.

TRACIE

The rest of the train ride remained nearly uneventful, save for Tracie hanging a little too closely to Snape and Deidra flipping out in her normal hyper manner about everything while Dan just growled. He eventually curled up into a ball on one of the seats and tried to drift off, until Snape slammed the train to a stop, sending everyone flying, especially Tracie who slammed into the front of the train. "I told you to sit down," Snape hissed at the girl as she collected herself. She stared at the man blankly a moment before Deij came running up, shouting a long winded, high pitched 'wheeeeee' and holding a red cloth behind her in the air.
She pushed passed Tracie with a grin before hopping down the steps and landing at the bottom. "WE'RE HERE!" she shouted just moments before a mad fit of laughter. Dan, of course, followed after her, deciding he could fly over the steps as well, instead he just sort of tumbled out and knocked over Deidra. "What was…? Oooooooh… look at the roly poly…" She poked the tiny bug with her finger, causing it to curl up into a ball which she tried to imitate.
Tracie, of course, had been knocked into Snape, who quickly pushed her off of himself and dusted off his clothes as if something dirty had landed on him, but it went unnoticed by the young girl as she stepped off the train, soon followed by Snape, who eagerly turned to slink into the castle and let McGonagall deal with the brats as she normally did at this point, however he didn't see her anywhere near-by when he glanced about.
"Hey!" Deij called out as she sat up and stared at Tracie, who stared down at her. "Have you ever read that… that Twilight book by…" Her voice trailed off as she looked to the ground in hopes of remembering the woman's name. Dan half growled and half gurgled in response, at which point Tracie looked to him and back.
"Yes," she answered.
"I've been wondering… do you sparkle?" the other girl asked, turning her attention back to Tracie. Tracie stared at her, almost feeling a tinge of feeling before nodding slowly.
"I sparkle in the sun," she answered, at which point Snape turned around to object, only for his existence to be completely ignored by either girl and to merely be growled and glared at by Dan.
"Prove it! NOW!" Deij shouted, suddenly glancing down again. She suddenly reached down and picked up a rock, studying it with an 'ooooooo' of interest. Tracie glanced to Snape and then back to Deij, figuring the girl would forget about it. And she seemed to for the time being as she crawled off after an ant. However, Dan's angry roar at the sight of the annoyed Snape's wand brought her attention back and she pointed. "BITE HIM!"
Snape's eyes widened slightly and he glanced to Deij before Tracie jumped at him, biting at his neck. Before he could say anything, Dan joined in the fray, biting the Professor's leg. Deij laughed for a moment before suddenly noticing a start twinkling abnormally brightly and staring at it with her head cocked to the side.
Water suddenly poured down onto Dan, making him gurgle and flop onto his back, failing his hands in a rather pathetic manner, and Snape pushed Tracie off himself, rubbing his neck and glaring at the girl, suddenly feeling ashamed that she would be in his house. Surely the Gryffindors would benefit—or rather his house would benefit better—if she had been placed there.
"What on earth is going on?" McGonagall asked, making her abnormally late appearance. Snape cast her a rather loathsome look before turning to Tracie.
"I'm taking this one to see if it has rabies," he muttered. "You can look after the other two imbeciles." Of course, Tracie took this as Snape caring for her and promptly laid down to seizure. The male professor watched her a minute before walking off, deciding it not worth his time in the least.

DEIDRA

Upon exiting the train and quite successfully harassing Professor Snape, the three very special children proceeded to make their way over to the very special carriage that hauled them to the castle every year.

Tracie looked acknowledgingly at the single Thestral pulling the contraption. Though Thestrals all looked alike, she was able to recognize that they had the exact same one every year for some reason or another.

"Heeeeeyyyy Fabio~!" Deij greeted it cheerfully as they approached before going over to pet it curiously as she always had. They were in their sixth year now and neither Dan nor Tracie had any idea just where the chipper blonde had ever seen death. She certainly didn't behave like anyone who had seen death or, on the other hand, that could very well be why she was so scrambled in the head.

They climbed into the carriage, these thoughts quickly dispersing within their minds. It was nothing they took too seriously. If the three of them, or rather Dan and Tracie since they had the attention span, took the time to think about all of their bizarre quirks in depth, they would surely explode.

Still though, Deidra, for this was her full name, was not as A.D.D. as her friends believed. She actually thought about a lot of things in detail and even in one sitting at times. One particular fascination of hers, for example, was Neville Longbottom. For whatever reason, his shy, polite and nervous tendencies made her spastic little heart slow the fuck down. It was widely noticed by the professors early on that she preferred to sit near him and, when she did, she focused and performed better in class. He was a good influence on her.

If only she didn't frighten him so much.

"You know you guys?" She said bringing about her friends' attention. "I think this year—oooh the lake's pretty tonight!—I think this year'll be awesome. I can't wait to see—Bless you Fabio—Neville. You think maybe I can get him to like me finally?"

Dan merely let out a low, guttural growl and turned to gaze above the trees ahead. Oh how he longed to fly to the castle himself but he had Tracie and Deij to look after. Tracie, for her part, stared blankly at the blonde for a moment before finally commenting that the odds were against her. "He is shy and you have ADHD. Things like that make for ugly babies. Isn't that right Dan?"

The dragon boy cocked his head to one side and snorted before resuming his thoughtful gazing.

"DAMN!" Deidra cursed, shaking her fist at Fabio since he was the closest. "I hate babies! Especially ugly babies! I saw this one baby one time—it was my cousin—and it was just like… MOTHER NATURE MESSED UP! But I understand that she's busy with trees and what not. Flowers too. I like sunflowers personally, but I'm game for daisies too. You think Neville would ever give me daisies? I wonder if he's kept daises in his house before. I mean his gran's house—that's what he calls her, y'know, GRAN—but yeah that'd be nice."

Tracie was now mimicking Dan and gazing ahead. Her thoughts, however, were not on flying over the treetops to the castle but on Professor Snape. She'd always been attracted to him although she rarely admitted it regardless. She usually just passed it off as adulation and respect for his wisdom and life experience. It took a lot of gumph to be a potions master! People just didn't seem to understand the danger and complexity or potions. Oh how sexy potions were… Sometimes when she pictured the man, always shirtless for some reason, his long, beaky nose and sickly pale skin… Black shark eyes and angry lips….

She spasmed a little, accidentally kicking Dan in the knee who, surprised, punched Deidra in the face.

The three quickly shook it off and resumed their previous activities: gazing idly and, in one case, babbling.

At one end of the carriage, Professor McGonagall had to keep herself from rolling her eyes. Deidra, as peculiar, absent, and ditsy as she was, happened to be a special student of the woman who had agreed three years earlier to teach her the art of becoming an Animagus. Oddly enough, the girl had been quite good at it but it always seemed like she had some sort of hidden motive that drove her in her efforts. Just what it could possibly be, Minerva McGonagall had no idea but surely it was harmless. The girl was random but not harmful… At least not on purpose and she transformed into a CAT which wasn't going to do too much damage. Truthfully, though, the woman had only really decided to take her under her wing because the girl had asked to be a tabby cat which she herself was.

Deidra knew how to flatter people when it was necessary.

Dinner in the Great Hall went as smoothly as it ever had. Everyone ate and laughed in merriment, Tracie stared attentively at Professor Snape, Dan flicked food at Ron Weasley, and Deidra continuously checked to see if there was room to sit next to Neville. By the time they'd gone up to the highest tower, for this was where the special children were housed, the three of them felt almost completely adjusted and they retired for the night in decently good spirits.

"Hey Tracie!" Deidra asked as they lay in their beds.

"Yes?"
"Can you sleep?"

"Not yet."

"Snape's penis."

"….."

A heavy thud on the floor by the other bed followed by the sounds of writhing made Deidra smile and drift off to sleep happily.

Ah friendship….