Ichigo was scared. He'd been scared since the day he died.
He knew he was dead. The horrible monster by the river had eaten him and his mother, too. But his mother had gone to sleep in this strange, desolate place. The young boy was still awake and aware, slowly walking through a dusty landscape.
As long as he stayed in the barren place, he was safe. But it was just too boring and Ichigo often tentatively reached out. He had to be very careful, though, because that was where the Other lived. The Other had eaten him and his mother, but that was not why Ichigo feared it. He feared it because it was evil. He was old enough and had watched enough nature shows to understand that predators had to eat, and for a monster prey would be people. He could have accepted that stark reality, but there was more. The Other was… filthy. He didn't have words to describe it but he knew the Other enjoyed the pain it caused. He was afraid of it and he hated it, fearing what would happen if the Other ever discovered him.
But then things changed. Ichigo could feel the Other's pain and terror, and felt the same terror himself as the world around him broke apart. But he clung to himself, clung to his memories, and he passed through unharmed. Lifting his head from his knees Ichigo looked around and gasped.
The place he lived had changed. Instead of a barren wasteland, he was sitting on the banks of a river. Looking around with wide eyes, the boy saw a wild, untamed forest surrounding him. His breath caught in his throat as he looked beyond the trees and saw a massive mountain rising behind them. Turning around, he saw mountains on all sides.
"…Wow." He said, impressed by the beauty of the place. Before, his home had been completely lifeless and horrible. He'd managed to exist there because he didn't actually have any choice, but he hadn't enjoyed it. Now he was somewhere full of green things. Looking over the trees, he saw they were a mix of pines, poplars, fir trees and other things he couldn't name. It was a forest suited to the mountains.
Then he felt something approaching him and Ichigo went pale before trying to find a place to hide. But it was useless, and a great black panther pounced on him, pinning the terrified boy to the ground with one large paw.
And who are you? Ichigo went still, his brown eyes going wide at that voice in his mind.
"I'm – I'm Ichigo. Who are you?" He asked hesitantly, turning his head to look at the panther. His eyes were a brilliant blue.
I am Pantera. Curious. You are an undigested soul. Ichigo swallowed at that, not sure what to think. Undigested? That didn't sound too good. You are harmless. The foot left his back and Ichigo scrambled to his feet as the panther began to leave.
"W-Wait! Don't leave me alone!" He cried, almost panicking. He'd been alone for so long, he didn't want to be alone anymore. The panther paused before licking his whiskers.
Perhaps it would amuse me to take care of you, cub. Very well, I will show you how to hunt. Pantera decided and Ichigo quickly followed him. He wasn't sure he could hunt like a panther, but he was definitely going to try.
Time passed and Ichigo felt himself changing. His body was shifting, becoming older, something that had never happened when he'd lived with the first Other. It gradually came to Ichigo that by letting him eat kills in the forest, Pantera was feeding him, making him stronger. And that made him worry because of the Other.
It wasn't the same Other as the first. He knew that, with no doubt. This was more what Ichigo had envisioned from a predator that ate people. The mind he felt was full of hard edges, rages and dark emotions, but it wasn't… wrong. It was just a very feral, primitive feeling. And there were good emotions too. Ichigo didn't know why – even when he managed to look through the Other's eyes, he usually didn't understand – but sometimes the Other was gripped by hilarity. The emotion was wild and unrestrained.
Everything the Other did was unrestrained. That was his nature and Ichigo liked it. The Other was someone who lived life to the fullest, and he found that he was getting fond of him. But he still didn't want the Other to know about him. Pantera had elaborated a bit so Ichigo knew he was an undigested soul. The first Other had eaten him and he'd somehow stayed conscious, fully aware of himself. Then when the second Other had eaten the first Other, he'd managed to keep himself intact, which Pantera said meant he had great will and natural power. But if the Other noticed him, he might choose to eat him. Ichigo really wouldn't have a hope of resisting.
His name is Grimmjow. And you worry too much. I will not let him harm you. Pantera commented. They were in a meadow filled with wildflowers and the panther was sunning himself, lying on his side.
"Well, if you say so." Ichigo lay back on the meadow, feeling a little… forlorn? Bereft? "I wonder how my family is doing." He said sadly. He missed his father and his baby sisters. How would they be doing after losing his mother? His father had always loved her so much.
If they are anything like you, cub, then they are fine. Just enjoy the sun. Pantera advised and Ichigo smiled, deciding to take the advice. The Other – Grimmjow – was in a good mood and the inner world reflected that.
But the next day was another matter. He and Pantera huddled up in a cave as the rain came down. And then the rain began to turn to snow and Ichigo shivered violently as Pantera whined.
"What's happening, Pantera?" Ichigo whispered and felt the warm body beside him shiver.
Something very bad. I am trying to help him but I cannot – Ichigo, no! But Ichigo ignored the panther, reaching out to the Other. Grimmjow's feelings assaulted him and he reeled under the barrage of pain. The physical pain was bad, but the emotional pain was worse. The Other was feeling things that Ichigo's young mind could barely comprehend. Anguish, humiliation, bitter hatred and a brutal sense of helplessness seared his soul. The young boy whimpered but held on, managing to take a peek through Grimmjow's eyes.
The Other was on his back, his legs splayed out. Someone was on top of him and Ichigo could see corded muscles under dark skin, little drops of sweat beading on that flesh. It came to Ichigo that Grimmjow couldn't move. His arms were tied above him and his feet were behind held in place by the person above him. Or rather, his one arm was tied above him. What had happened to the other one? That briefly confused Ichigo but then the man above him did something and the young boy screamed. That hurt, it hurt like nothing he'd imagined in his life, and there was something inside Grimmjow now, invading and hurting him. He felt it as Pantera grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked him back.
"Pantera what… was that…?" Ichigo asked, his mind still reeling from the agony.
Rape. The cat responded shortly and Ichigo's eyes wide. He'd died young but he wasn't a baby, he knew what rape was. He'd never imagined it happening to someone he knew, though. My master has fallen from his position and some of the others are showing him his new place. The panther sounded quietly enraged. Someday, we will destroy them. Ichigo could tell he was speaking to Grimmjow as much as him, but he nodded.
The snow seemed to go on forever. And when it stopped, if anything, things got worse. A freezing mist began rising in the valley and Ichigo huddled against Pantera, trying to gain just a bit of warmth. He could see the trees were becoming covered in ice.
He is nearing the limits of his endurance but there is nothing more I can do… Pantera sounded desperate. Ichigo swallowed hard. He didn't want to, but he knew that if Grimmjow died, this world would break up. He loved Pantera and he was fond of the Other, too. He didn't want that to happen.
"Is there anything I can do?" He offered and Pantera mulled it over for a moment.
Perhaps… it is not rape, not right now. Perhaps you can help him endure for just a bit longer. The panther didn't sound too hopeful but Ichigo reached out anyway. It was easy for him to find Grimmjow.
The feelings that hit him now were exhaustion, pain and despair. The weariness was crushing and Ichigo knew that Grimmjow wanted to sleep, yet couldn't. Because he knew if he slept, he would never wake up. Ichigo braced himself and looked through the other man's eyes.
He was chained to the ceiling, his single arm straining under the effort of holding his weight. His legs were free, but Ichigo could feel that he was too weak to kick anymore. Grimmjow's head was down and Ichigo could see the blood streaking his chest. His heart clenched at the sight of it. It was too much blood. Were they trying to kill him?
"If you died, you would do us all a favour, trash." That voice was cold and empty. Grimmjow lifted his head and gave a weak snarl.
"As if I'd do you any favours…" It was the first time Ichigo had heard Grimmjow's voice, and he liked it. It was a nice voice, one he could listen to for a long time. But right now he sounded so full of pain.
"You talk like you have a choice, trash." Then Grimmjow's body jerked taunt against his restraints and Ichigo reeled as the other man did something to him. Ichigo could tell what it was but Grimmjow made a harsh, guttural noise before coughing uncontrollably. Droplets of blood splattered onto the floor. "You are weak."
"…" Grimmjow's head went down again and Ichigo sensed he was about to give up. With Pantera's help he gently tugged the Other away, pulling him into the inner world. Without the other soul to take his place, that would have been fatal, but Ichigo was there. Fresh power flowed into Grimmjow's battered body and Ichigo looked up at the chain. It was only a chain, nothing more. Apparently, they'd thought that Grimmjow was beaten and broken enough that nothing else was needed.
And they had been right, but Ichigo had power of his own. He lashed out at the chain and it abruptly snapped with dark fire. Turning he looked at a rather surprised man. He had jet black hair, dead white skin, green eyes and an odd half-helmet of bone. Ichigo didn't much care about that though. What he cared about was killing the evil creature.
His energy was only a brief surge in Grimmjow's battered body, but Ichigo used it to the fullest. Acting more from instinct than anything, he attacked with only his bare hands and fury. The other man drew his sword and Ichigo snarled, barely aware that his voice had a strange echoing tone. A ball of red light built in his palm and he pumped everything he had into it before unleashing it against the enemy.
The destructive power he released was amazing. It wasn't enough to kill the white skinned man, but it drove him back and he needed to use his sword to stop it. Ichigo was left panting, fresh blood splattering on the floor, and he fell to his knees. He'd done everything he could. There was nothing left.
But apparently, it was enough. Rather than finishing him off, the other man sheathed his sword and regarded him curiously. Ichigo was vaguely aware his appearance had changed. Grimmjow's mask was still there, but it was part of a larger mask that covered his entire face. That mask flaked off as Ichigo's power burnt itself out. Then white hands were on him and Ichigo blinked as new power flowed into the battered body, healing the worst of Grimmjow's wounds.
"Perhaps I was wrong. That was very interesting…" Ichigo couldn't hold out any longer and he passed out to the sound of the other man's voice.
"Hst! Who the hell are you?" Ichigo blinked as he looked around the inner world, then blushed faintly as he laid his eyes on the speaker.
Grimmjow was completely naked and seemed comfortable in that state. It was a bit hard on Ichigo, though, and he swallowed heavily. He'd seen his own body more than once – he was nearly adult now, after Pantera's feedings – but Grimmjow looked quite a bit better. He was all hard muscle and beautifully sculpted lines, and Ichigo couldn't help but peek at what lay between his legs. It was… pretty big, nestled in a bunch of sky blue curls.
"Hey. My face is up here." Grimmjow said with a grin and Ichigo blushed a bright red before snapping his gaze up. "Who are you?" The other man's tone was gentler this time and Ichigo took a deep breath.
"I'm Kurosaki Ichigo. Pantera says I'm an undigested soul." He said and Grimmjow's eyes widened.
"Kurosaki Ichigo? Do you know someone named Kurosaki Karin?" He asked and Ichigo blinked.
"Yes! She's my sister. Is she okay?" He asked, concerned, and was surprised by Grimmjow's jagged laugh.
"She's better off than me. Little bitch… bah. How the hell did you end up in here?" Ichigo frowned, wondering what that meant. It was Pantera who answered Grimmjow's question.
That partial arrancar you encountered in the Living World, master. He had eaten this boy, and when you ate that creature you took him as well. Since then, I've been feeding him. When he first arrived he had the appearance of a child. The panther explained and Grimmjow grunted, looking him over.
"He sure ain't a child now. Not that I'm in the mood." His voice was rough but Ichigo could see the pain in his eyes. He stepped forward without thinking and hugged the man, feeling Grimmjow stiffen in his arms. "I don't need your fucking pity!" He snarled and Ichigo found himself roughly shoved away.
"I don't pity you." He protested. "I just want to make you feel better." He tried to project that to the other man, and it worked. Grimmjow frowned, hard blue eyes going from furious to puzzled.
"How can you feel that way? It doesn't make any sense…" He said and they both looked over as Pantera chuckled. "What d'you think is so funny?" Grimmjow asked grumpily and the panther chuckled again.
He didn't have to fight for survival in Hueco Mundo, where such feelings are a weakness. The panther pointed out before grooming himself. And there is also the fact that he is at your mercy, living in your inner world. It would be prudent of him to try to forge an emotional connection with you.
"That wasn't what I was thinking at all!" Ichigo protested, stung by the thought. Pantera just gave a feline shrug.
You don't have to think it. It is an instinctive reaction to being in the power of someone else. He said and Ichigo scowled at the panther. Then he blinked as he felt a hand on his shoulder.
"He's right. I've seen that before." Grimmjow sounded a bit amused, now, which was sort of a relief. Although Ichigo was still very annoyed. "Not that I'm saying that's what you're doing, but it is an instinct. And we hollows are all about instincts."
"What's a hollow?" Ichigo wondered, gazing into blue eyes. Grimmjow's eyes were the most beautiful things he had ever seen. The other man looked a bit taken aback by the question.
"I guess you've never gotten to experience much, huh? Well, it looks like I'm unconscious so have a seat, we might as well chat." Ichigo nodded and glanced around, looking for a good place to sit. They were in a random location in the forest. "Nevermind, this place sucks. Follow me." Grimmjow led the way and Ichigo couldn't help but drop his gaze. The other man had a nice, firm ass, well-muscled… then he blushed, averting his gaze.
"Why aren't you wearing any clothes?" He asked, more to divert himself than anything. He really didn't want to be caught staring at Grimmjow's derriere.
"I hate clothes. I only wear 'em because Aizen insists." Grimmjow said, then added grudgingly. "My uniform is okay. It's not clingy anyway, not like some of the crap the others wear." Ichigo nodded. He'd peeked through Grimmjow's eyes a time or two, so he knew what that uniform looked like. He really wished the man was wearing it now, but he wasn't going to ask him to make it appear.
Grimmjow led him and Pantera to a beautiful lake. Ichigo had been there before, and it had plenty of rocks on the edges that were very pleasant to sit on and catch the sun. That was where Grimmjow sat, stretching out to catch the most sunlight he could. It reminded Ichigo of a cat and he smiled, seating himself beside him.
"Y'know, you should change your clothes kid. I don't care much about style but…" Grimmjow shrugged and Ichigo glanced over himself, surprised. He was wearing the clothes he had died in and he admitted, to himself, that they were getting a little old. "Anyway. You wanted to know about hollows?"
"Please." Ichigo said, glancing at the hole in Grimmjow's abdomen. He had a matching hole in his chest, under his shirt. It had frightened him at first but he'd gradually forgotten about it. But 'hollow' likely had something to do with it. Grimmjow absently rubbed the edge of his hole as he spoke.
"When a human dies, they become a plus. That's like a ghost, kid. They have a chain attached to 'em, and it gradually decays. When it's gone completely, a hole opens up. They say our hearts decay and become a mask of bone. I dunno… all I know is, most hollows start off completely insane. They usually attack and eat whoever was closest to them, friends and family." Grimmjow said and Ichigo blanched a little at that information. "Some hollows don't start off insane, but that's not a good thing. Only evil bastards stay sane right after the change."
"…Were you sane?" Ichigo asked, disturbed. He didn't think Grimmjow was evil but he could be wrong. The other man flashed him a grin.
"Nah, I was mindless as fuck. I can't remember exactly what happened to make me a hollow, but I remember a little bit about my time in the Living world. I was just a vicious little predator, cunning and powerful as hell. But I couldn't think." That was a relief to Ichigo. "So anyway, a hollow has to gather up souls. Once they've gathered enough, most of them depart to Hueco Mundo, although a few don't. That thing that killed you was weird." Grimmjow frowned as looked into the lake. "A partial arrancar in the real world… he should've gone to Hueco Mundo a while ago. No idea why he didn't."
"…He liked to kill people." Ichigo said quietly, remembering the filthy, nauseating touch of that mind. "He liked to hear them scream and cry. He cared more about his appetites than anything." Ichigo knew that the Other had eaten hollows, but considered them substandard compared to people. Not because they gave him less power – they often gave him more – but because their screams weren't as fulfilling. Grimmjow blinked slowly.
"Well, you just managed to creep me out kid. I didn't think anything could do that anymore." He said with a crooked grin. "So anyway, when a hollow goes to Hueco Mundo they generally make the transition to Gillian class. They're big fucking things composed of a lot of souls, and they're usually stupid as hell. Some Gillian, though, have a dominant personality. You can tell because the mask they wear is different from the others. Those Gillian eat other Gillian until they become Adjuchas. Then Adjuchas eat other Adjuchas until they either give up or become Vasto Lorde. That's the final class." Grimmjow sighed, looking up at the sky. "I was so close to Vasto Lorde when Aizen found me. So close…" There was almost grief in his voice and Ichigo reached out to gently touch his hand. The other man didn't push him away this time. "I think I might be frozen at Adjuchas now. I dunno… becoming an arrancar means I'd be stronger than some Vasto Lorde… but I wish I'd made the change before he cracked my mask."
"What's an arrancar?" Ichigo asked softly. Grimmjow shook himself out of his momentary funk and continued the story.
"An arrancar is a hollow that's broken his mask. Before Aizen showed up, there were only partial arrancars, like that thing that ate you. When Aizen arrived, though, he brought this cube thing that could really break a hollow's mask. When we break our masks, we get some shinigami powers and get stronger all around. So he used it to make a 'loyal' army." Grimmjow practically spat out the word 'loyal'. "Fucking hate him." He growled and Ichigo nodded. He didn't know exactly what had happened, but he was willing to be Aizen was largely responsible for the position Grimmjow had found himself in. "One other thing. If an Adjuchas has part of their body eaten or lost – " He jerked a thumb at his missing arm. Ichigo winced. He'd been trying not to look at it, the shiny redness of the amputation site looked painful. "They stop evolving. So I'm sure as shit frozen at Adjuchas now. On the plus side, someone who's been broken can't devolve either and the hunger goes down to almost nothing, unless we're using up a lot of power."
"I'm sorry." Ichigo said. He could tell that the possibility of becoming Vasto Lorde had meant a lot to Grimmjow. The arrancar just gave him a grim smile.
"Not your fault. Now, I've done enough talking. Tell me about yourself." He said and Ichigo supposed that was fair enough.
"Okay. I lived in Karakura town…" Ichigo began to describe his mother and father to the arrancar. Then he went on to his sisters, which made the other man smile. It was a strange smile, though, amused and a bit predatory.
"I'm going to totally mention to the Kurosaki chick how you said she was bald as a baby. That'd freak her out." He said and Ichigo looked at him with a frown.
"How do you know my sister?" He asked. He was getting a feeling it wasn't something good, there was a serious undercurrent of hostility there. Grimmjow sighed and leaned back, gazing up at the sky.
"She was a threat to us and I was bored, so I went to punch her face in." He said bluntly and Ichigo stiffened. "Sorry kid, but it's the truth. Anyway, I was doing it against Aizen's orders. So he manipulated that fucker Tosen into cutting my arm off. He probably thinks I don't know." Grimmjow's tone had turned very dark. "But I've seen mind games before – I can't really remember it, I think it happened when I was alive – and Tosen is easy as fuck for Aizen to manipulate. He could damned well have stopped it." The arrancar brooded for a moment then shook his head. "But you wanted to know about your sister. Want me to show you what she looks like now?" Ichigo blinked at that. Show? "Look into the water."
"Hm?" Ichigo did as he was told and his eyes went wide as the reflection in the water changed. He drew in a breath as he saw a slim, athletic, teenage girl looking back at him with a scowl on her face. Her hair was cut very straight at chin length. "…" His eyes misted over with tears and he reached out to touch the reflection, but touching the water made little ripples spread and it dissipated. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Grimmjow. "Thank you."
"It's nothing." They sat in silence for a while before the sky over them began to get cloudy. Grimmjow stirred with a grimace. "I'm waking up. Talk to you later, kid." He said and Ichigo nodded.
"Later." He watched the other man vanish and sighed to himself. Pantera was good company, but it had been nice to have someone else.
He hoped Grimmjow came back soon.