A/N: So… This is gonna sound horrible but I've wanted to type a story like this for a long time. (smirks sheepishly) So, here we are.
DISCLAIMER: BUAH-HAH-HAA! Yeeeeeeah, right… Nope, I own nothing.
WARNINGS: Trigger warning for cancer… Feels, illness, tears, and some foul language… You still out there…?
LENGTH: This will be around ten chapters long, give or take a chapter or two.
Okay, because it's LATE… Let's go! I REALLY hope that you'll enjoy the ride.
A Tiny Dark Spot
How It All Began…
/ Their first encounter happened on Alec's nineteenth birthday. His parents dragged him and his siblings to theater, clearly imagining that it was something he'd enjoy. Alec… was miserable, and bored out of his mind. Until a dance number began. His eyes locked on a particular dancer and refused to budge, no matter how hard he tried.
The man, who was probably a few years his senior, was dressed in a manner that was designed for drawing attention. He wore heavy makeup, with a touch of glitter. He was… attractive, but in no shape or form Alec's type. Especially because he was a man, and Alec… wasn't… gay.
Then the stranger lifted his gaze to meet his and he couldn't breathe.
Alec was spellbound and terrified out of his mind. He couldn't understand what was happening to him and wanted it to stop. He wanted the theater play to stop, because he couldn't think clearly. He was supposed to be over… urges like this after an outrageously expensive therapist made him see the feelings he once had for his adopted brother Jace for what they were. It was just misread affection. He wasn't gay.
He wasn't, seriously.
Still… After the play the dancer's eyes were everything he could remember about the whole thing. Along with how the man's body moved effortlessly and elegantly.
Jace was quick to announce that he had plans. (Which most likely included a girl and things Alec seriously didn't want to even imagine.) With the help of fake IDs Izzy dragged Alec to a club after the torture. He wasn't a drinker but that very day he needed it. Maybe something stronger than beer would clear his head.
Inside the club the noise, people and restless energy immediately got too much for Alec to handle. He hoped that his sister would stay by his side and operate as a human shield between him and the crowd that had him on the edge. Unfortunately Izzy spotted someone… interesting and ditched him to the bar counter. (Apparently she wasn't going to tolerate him when he was on one of his Grumpy Cat moods.) Alec was more than happy to sulk alone. Fate… had other plans.
He jumped when a drink, something suspiciously blue, was pushed towards him. "You look like you could use something strong. And… I heard congratulations are in order."
Alec shivered when his whole body reacted to that voice in a way he couldn't understand. He barely heard his phone announce a message from the music and how loudly his heart was beating. It was Izzy, of course. 'Happy Birthday, brother.'
Alec frowned from confusion. Then became far too aware of the man beside him. Not wanting to seem rude despite his inner turmoil, he looked to the side. His whole being reacted, again, when he discovered that it was the dancer from the theater stage. Dressed in so much color, glitter and style that it was impossible to look away. He was every bit as otherworldly beautiful as on the stage. (Later, much later, he'd learn that at the same moment the man had very similar thoughts of him.)
It took at least ten full seconds before Alec was able to react in any way. "T-Thank you. For… the drink." He rubbed the back of his suddenly very warm neck with a hand that wasn't steady. "What… What are you d-doing here?"
Whatever look there was on his face, it seemed to amuse the man. "I happen to own this place." (So that was why Izzy took him to this exact club. She saw where Alec's attention was during the play, and imagined… And somehow she knew Magnus… Oh, he was going to…!) A charming smile no mortal would've been able to look away from appeared. "We haven't been formally introduced. I'm Magnus."
Alec blinked twice. Very slowly. Every little bit of him was tingling and breathing was starting to become a serious issue. He was trapped into a mixture of a nightmare and a daydream, and he had no idea what to do. "Alec", he managed with severe difficulty. The most likely stupid looking smile that'd appeared to his face disappeared the second he noticed it. He continued blinking rapidly, like trying to send a S.O.S message with eyes. "I, um… should go… Find my sister." So he could strangle her for messing with his head like this.
Magnus nodded, a rather infuriating knowing look on his face. (Alec was deeply uncomfortable with how much he appreciated the way those eyes sized him up.) "Enjoy your birthday, Alexander."
While dashing away Alec felt the beat of loud music hammering in sync with heart. And no matter how much he fought to resist even the thought, no matter how fast he ran away from it… He knew that the beat would pull him back. /
Even after six years together, two and a half of which they'd lived under the same roof, Alec Lightwood was still stupidly in love with Magnus Bane. He'd imagined that the physical reactions he had every time he saw, heard and felt his boyfriend would stop at some point. It wasn't the first nor last time he was wrong.
When they danced to the beat of Magnus's club that night, arms wrapped around each other and lips barely parting from one another, Alec felt the same spark he did when they first lay their eyes on each other. When he first saw Magnus, the most magical person he'd ever met. (No matter how little he admitted to experiencing feeling that way at the time.)
The kiss planted to his cheek made him shudder from delight. They tightened their hold on each other out of silent agreement before Magnus leaned his head on his shoulder, spiked hair tickling his chin. "Now what has you smiling like that, Alexander?"
Alec's smile brightened while he let himself get lost into the feel of the familiar body pressed against him. "You", he admitted easily. Their kiss was languid and deep, such of two people who were exactly where they wanted to be and had no desire to hurry anywhere else.
Years ago, Alec could've never imagined feeling so comfortable inside his own skin. But now… Now being held by another man was something natural to him. Magnus's embrace grounded him so well that the crowd and even the looks they were getting didn't bother him.
Alec's thoughts were cut abruptly when without any warning Magnus's balance broke. Moving as quickly as he could, he caught his boyfriend just before the older man would've fallen. This time his heart beat fast from other than elation while he held on tight, locking them to what looked like an awkward dance dip. "What happened?"
Magnus blinked slowly. Either confused or lightheaded. "I'm… not sure." The man grimaced while straightening. "That certainly wasn't my most graceful moment." The kind of a smile reserved for one person alone appeared. "I was lucky to have you around."
Alec smiled as well, for a moment. Until worry took over. "Are you okay?"
Magnus gave him a kiss. "Why wouldn't I be? Look who I have holding me."
While they kissed again the club's noise drowned out the alarm Alec's mind was screaming.
A few days later a gang of six friends was sitting at a restaurant, enjoying the rare occasion when they all had enough spare time to meet up. While Alec and Izzy began to bicker playfully, and were soon joined by Jace and Clary, Simon glanced towards Magnus. His curiosity, and perhaps worry, sparked when he saw the way his friend squinted while skimming through the menu.
Magnus noticed the look, of course. "Just… Dry and blurry eyes."
Simon bought that explanation because he wanted to. Because it was the least scary option. He grinned, mainly to chase away the unease bubbling in his stomach. "Or you need reading glasses, old man."
Magnus returned the suggestion with a roll of eyes. "Be glad I'm mature enough to not make a scene at a restaurant. Or I'd throw some of that brick hard bread at you."
Alec had woken up to many things in the home he shared with Magnus. There was an unfortunate amount of nightmares that had Magnus either screaming or shaking in his sleep… Kisses… And one very memorable occasion when he woke up to Magnus coming home drunk from comforting his friend Raphael after a nasty breakup.
He'd never before awakened to the sounds of retching.
Instantly alarmed, Alec made his way towards the bathroom. "Magnus?" He winced and felt worry swell upon discovering his boyfriend spitting the last of the vomit to the toilet. He returned after fetching a glass of water and offered the liquid to his boyfriend.
Magnus gave him a look of gratitude and sipped the water slowly. His voice didn't sound right when he finally found it. "Let's never try that restaurant again."
Alec nodded in agreement. But something inside him refused to be soothed by that simple explanation. Especially when he noticed the way his boyfriend squinted against the room's dim light. "Headache?"
"Hmm." Magnus sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I've had it for two days. I thought it'd be over by now."
"What?" Alec had some difficulties processing that information. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" He groaned and went on when a somewhat sheepish, pained look was the only answer he got. "Have you taken anything for it?"
Magnus nodded as much as his head allowed. "Doesn't seem to help much." The man emitted a sound of discomfort and hauled himself up. "Well… At least I seem to be… done here."
Alec wasted no time before stepping up to wrap a protective arm around his boyfriend. "C'mon, let's go back to bed", he beckoned once the older man had brushed his teeth. Their slow journey was halfway over before he went on. "Magnus? If the headache doesn't go away by tomorrow… Promise me that you'll see a doctor."
"I promise. But I'm sure it won't be necessary." Magnus leaned a little more heavily against him. Probably would've given him a kiss if it wasn't for the recent nausea. "Thank you, for caring so much." Being cared for wasn't something Magnus was accustomed to.
Alec wondered if he'd ever manage to convince Magnus that he cared about him more than anyone or anything else in the world.
By the following day the headache had eased to a tolerable dull throb. And at a dance studio where Magnus had spent countless of hours practicing waltz music played while the still aching man coached with his newest student. "One… Two… Three… Yes, now we're making progress."
"Really?" The uncertain look Jace gave him was quite endearing. "So you think I won't make a fool out of myself in front of everyone?"
Magnus couldn't help but smile. "We've spent fifty hours practicing. Biscuit will be proud of you. Trust me." He stopped the music and stretched, hoping that it might appease the stiffness all over his sore body. (It was like the headache had eased after scattering everywhere.)
Jace smiled back. "Thanks, for doing this. I don't know how I would've pulled this off without."
Magnus was about to respond when his voice caught in his throat. The words refused to roll off his tongue properly and black spots danced in his line of vision. He hissed at the discomfort and pressed a hand against his eyes.
"Magnus?" A worried Jace, he mused with some amusement, sounded a lot like a worried Alec. "What's wrong?"
Magnus gulped laboriously while his stomach rolled. "Just… got a little lightheaded. I think I forgot to eat breakfast this morning." Actually… Because of the nausea he'd skipped a lot of meals lately.
Jace's furrowing eyebrows revealed that he wasn't happy with that response. "It's already three in the afternoon."
"Oh." Well… He didn't mean to go without food until that late. Might explain why he felt… well, not exactly good.
Magnus wasn't fully certain what happened next. Suddenly he was sitting on a chair. And then Alec appeared, so much fear in his eyes that it made Magnus's stomach twist and turn. (The last thing he wanted was to make the man he loved feel like that.) "I know that you said you don't need to see a doctor. But that was before… this." Alec's tone was nothing short of pleading. "Let's go. Just to make sure."
Magnus found himself complying. Because he would've done pretty much anything to make Alec feel better. And because he wasn't quite able to convince himself that this was nothing anymore.
Dr. Lorenzo Rey, whom they saw after a – in Alec's humble opinion – outrageously long wait, announced that there was nothing wrong with Magnus. With advice to take vitamins, rest and follow a more regular diet they were pushed out of the doctor's office. Their journey home was quiet, one of them exhausted and the other terrified. When he finally got to bed Magnus slept for fifteen hours. Alec couldn't sleep at all from the dread swirling in his stomach. It was like a part of him already suspected that something horrible was going to tumble on them.
Which happened two days later.
Alec was on his way home when his phone started ringing. He frowned upon discovering that the caller was Catarina, Magnus's best friend. While they were something like friends as well she didn't usually call him. Dread lifted its head while he picked up. "Hey. Is… something wrong?"
Catarina swallowed loudly, very obviously upset and unable to disguise it fully. "Alec… I need you to stay calm." (Like there was any hope of him doing that after hearing those words.) "Magnus was just brought in. Clary went to check the dance studio when he was late for her dress fitting and found him collapsed."
Alec's memory had some serious gaps after that. He remembered rushing to the hospital and running into Clary, who was wiping her red, puffy eyes. Despite the sheer terror raging inside him Alec felt a bout of sympathy. They'd come a long way from almost seven years ago, when she started dating Jace and an ugly, green-eyed monster awakened inside him. "What happened?" he demanded, more softly than he'd expected.
Clary gulped and shook her head. "I… I don't know. He just… He lay there…" She trailed off when the memory got too much. (She'd known Magnus since she was a little girl and considered him something like a big brother. Seeing him like that… It had to be awful.)
Alec tried to find words of comfort. But just then a doctor was making his way towards them. The look on the medical professional's face made the world start to shake and grumble.
Alec understood very little of what he was told. Something about a seizure, and them planning on examining Magnus's head. Then the man was gone and the torturous waiting continued.
It was dark outside by the time Alec was finally allowed to enter the room Magnus had been pushed into. His stomach clenched at how frail, exhausted and… ill his usually vibrant boyfriend looked. So small in the hospital bed.
Magnus's eyes were only half open when they met his, and full of pain. Another headache, Alec realized easily. Feeling uncertain and scared, Alec approached the bed and claimed the chair beside it. After a moment of hesitation he grabbed Magnus's hand and squeezed, a small caress of relief following when his boyfriend returned the gesture. Not a single word needed to be said. They just held on to each other as though for dear life until the morning came. Which was also when a doctor walked into the room, and just one look was enough to reveal that the news would be horrible.
Alec's brain stopped functioning after the word 'tumor'. He stared with slightly widened, uncomprehending eyes when the doctor showed them a scan of Magnus's brain and pointed at a dark spot that wasn't supposed to be there. Beside him Magnus started to tremble, and Alec wanted desperately to just grab him and drag him away from the nightmare that was just getting started.
Cancer.
Alec squeezed Magnus's hand so tightly that it probably hurt, feeling the kind of fear he'd never experienced before.
TBC
A/N: Ooooh… boy… This is gonna be SO ROUGH. (winces) Poor boys, especially Magnus!
SOOOO… What do you think? Would you like to read the full story? PLEASE, do let me hear from you! It ALWAYS makes my day.
In any case, THANK YOU for reading! Who knows. Maybe I'll see you again?
Take care!