Conflict of Interests
Secrets can eat away at you; at your strength and your faith. As a doctor you learn so many details about your patients you can never tell anyone. You took an oath and with that you are handing out a piece of yourself to anyone naïve enough to put trust in you and selfish enough to expect you to sacrifice friendships or relationships that are based on honesty and faith. Doctors, they do not talk about the burden of keeping secrets from their loved ones. It eases the guilt even if it is simply the opportunity to forget a conflict of interests ever existed.
You feel the steady rhythm of his breath on your neck. You inhale deeply before you turn around in his embrace. You watch him sleep for several moments. Slowly you trace the outlines of his face with your eyes, trying to memorize every little detail of him. He looks so calm in his sleep and you envy him for the ability to sleep so peacefully after the horrific events of the previous night. Furthermore you were jealous that he was brave enough to voice his fears and relief over the fact that just once the people who were closest to him were spared.
He has thought you were breaking up with him and you have laughed in his face. Nothing, you still think with a hint of surprise could be further from the truth. You take his face in your hands and place tender kisses on his chin and lips. His eyes flutter open and he looks around the room drowsily until his eyes focus on you and in that moment you know why you love that man as much as you do. He knows that you have secrets and he neither pushes you to tell him nor does he ignore the subject until it is merely a fragment of his or your imagination. He simply waits it out. Even though you know it is eating away at him, too, because he is in love with you.
So you ask yourself, how much is it really worth to keep a secret?
"She was raped," you whisper softly over his parted lips. "Charlotte. She was raped."
In a matter of seconds his strong arms embrace you in a tight hug. As the tears start to run down your cheeks you know that you made the right decision. You cannot keep secrets like that from a man that will never just pick you up after you have fallen, but will furthermore keep you from falling in the first place.