A/N: Blah, I've been trying to write this for months now, and I decided to finish it a couple days ago. This is my first time ever writing anything GA, so I'm a little shaky about getting the character's down but hopefully I did them justice. Enjoy!
Title: I'd Be So Good to You
Pairing: Jackson/Lexie with hints of Alex/April
Disclaimer: I don' t own Grey's Anatomy or the characters in this story.
After constantly rejecting his advances and hiding their obvious sexual tension, Lexie gave in. She kissed Mark back and finally stopped pretending like she didn't care about him or that she was still upset over how they ended. The illegitimate daughter that was long gone along with her baby. Derek's sister who had flown back to California. Teddy, who was now apparently marrying a patient. Things were just different now, especially when it came to Mark. They may not have talked over why they broke up, but eventually they would. All that mattered was that she was in love with him and never really stopped.
Finally getting home, the dark haired surgical resident closed the front door and momentarily leaned against the doorway like a hormonal sixteen year old as she ran a finger across her chapped lips. A smile slowly spread across her face and she continued to the stairs and up to her room. All of the lights were off except for in the bathroom. As she passed, she spotted April washing her face by the sink. She slowed down her pace and leaned against the doorway.
"Isn't tonight amazing?" She said, letting out a casual sigh. "I mean, I had a pretty crappy day with the whole drain situation, but tonight…tonight was really good." She smiled again. "Wouldn't you say tonight was…great?"
April drew her attention from the bathroom mirror over at her slightly intoxicated housemate as she rubbed some facial cleanser on her cheeks. She shook her head. "Not really. When I got back, the only other person here was Alex and we had a pretty awkward dinner." She turned back to the mirror and ran her facial cleanser covered hand across her forehead.
Lexie attempted a half-hearted frown, obviously not paying attention. "Oh I'm sorry, that sucks."
April shrugged. "Its fine, I just ate really fast and then hid up here for a couple hours until he went to sleep." She bent down and washed off her face in the sink before adding to the conversation again. "It definitely doesn't compare to making out with my ex at Joe's though." As soon as the words slipped out, the former Mercy West resident immediately turned over to a visibly confused Lexie. "Forget I said anything! I didn't say a word."
"How did you know Mark and I were making out at the bar?" Lexie asked, ignoring her. When April turned back and picked up her moisturizer, the pieces connected. "Wait, Jackson told you?"
April ignored her for a couple moments as she squirted the moisturizer into her hand. Lexie got away from the doorway and then started to approach her, which got her attention. "Okay, okay, yes. Jackson told me, but only because I made him." Lexie slowed to a stop, waiting for her to continue. "He just looked so sad and Alex and I tried to talk to him, but he didn't spill until I followed him up the stairs. He told me not to tell you so you have to forget that we ever had this conversation."
All of this was said in a rapid, April-like manner that Lexie had trouble following, especially considering her drunken state. She had gotten most of what she said and nodded slowly, before turning around. April reached over and held her arm. "Seriously, you weren't supposed to know. Just…don't tell him I told you."
"Let go of my arm April." Lexie warned. April quickly let go and watched her walk out of the bathroom.
Lexie walked up to the attic and sat on the bed, slipping off her heels. Her buzz was evaporating quickly by this point and now she just felt like crap. She fought every bone in her body to go into Jackson's room and ask what was wrong. She knew he was going through a lot right now, but she didn't understand what that had to do with her and Mark.
After some more deliberating, the brunette decided that this was a topic best suited for morning when everyone was awake and sober.
…
"Morning sunshine." Meredith said as everyone turned to see a hungover Lexie enter the kitchen. She asked as she held up a plate with two slices of bread on it. "Toast?"
Lexie made a face and shook her head. She immediately went over to the coffee maker where Alex was currently pouring into a thermos and grabbed a white mug sitting on the counter. Meredith lowered the plate back onto the counter and picked up her own mug. "Someone's not as giddy as they were last night at Joe's, sucking face with Mark." The sandy haired wife giggled before taking a sip. April lowered her head and finished buttering the slice of toast on her plate.
Lexie instantly looked up at her sister before turning to April, who looked up, guiltily. "I didn't tell her, I promise." She stammered, quickly.
"No, but Derek did. Mark called him last night." Meredith clarified, before taking a sip of her coffee. She set it in the sink afterwards and checked her wristwatch before looking up at everyone. "Okay, ten minutes and we're heading out." She grabbed her purse and headed out the door to the car. April stuck the remainder of her toast into her mouth and followed her outside, avoiding Lexie's glare.
Alex put the cover onto his thermos. "News – "
"No, don't say anything." She said, holding her index finger up. "Just…shush." He let out a tired laugh and made his way to the door just as Jackson raced into the kitchen. She looked over, her smile fading and an uneasy expression replacing it, as she watched him pick up the pieces of toast Meredith had offered her and then set them back down, his eyes scanning around the kitchen. She stepped aside so he could see the coffee maker and he went over to it, looking around the immediate area.
As he peered into the coffee machine, she watched him for a couple moments. It was always so hard to figure out what was going on in his mind. "Are you okay?" She finally asked, hesitantly.
"No. Why didn't anyone wake me up?" He exclaimed, not looking at her. His voice raised a little. He found a thermos in the cabinet above the coffee maker and set it on the counter. He poured some coffee into it.
She winced, closing her eyes momentarily. "Sorry, I'm still kind of hungover so if you could not yell, that would be great." When he still didn't look over, she pressed. "And I meant are you okay in the general sense. April said you seemed sad when you got in last night."
Finally, he looked over at her. He looked a little uneasy, but he eventually composed himself. "I'm fine. I just wish that people would be a little considerate around here and wake a person up before they drive off." He put the cover on his thermos and walked out the door. She raised her eyebrows and followed him, hot on his trail.
"Woah, okay I'm sorry no one woke you up, but it's not my fault. I just woke up like fifteen minutes ago on my own." She tried to keep pace with him, but he was walking pretty fast towards the car.
He got to the door and then turned to face her. "Yeah well I wouldn't expect you to understand how valuable someone's time is. Everything doesn't revolve around Lexie's time."
She made a face. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Think about it." He said simply, before opening the car door and getting in. She stood there, trying to calm down before getting in after him and slamming the door.
Meredith jumped at the door slam and looked through the rearview mirror as she turned the car on. "Everything okay back there?"
"It's fine. We're fine." Lexie snapped, slipping her seat belt on and then looking out the window. Jackson moved his thigh so it wasn't next to hers. She rolled her eyes.
…
The fivesome walked into Seattle Grace and everyone separated off to their own duties as usual. Lexie stormed down the hallway until she spotted Mark talking to Owen. Her facial expression instantly softened as she approached them and placed a hand on his bicep. He looked over and grinned.
"Hi." She said softly, resting her cheek against his arm. Owen took the hint and nodded awkwardly at her before walking off.
"Hey." Mark said, just as softly. He turned to face her and leaned down, giving her a soft peck. She smiled against his lips and leaned in for another one when she saw Jackson staring at them out of the corner of her eye. She looked down and cleared her throat. "What?" Mark asked, looking over at Jackson.
She shook her head. "Nothing." Jackson finally walked past them with April. She watched the two of them until they were completely gone. "Nothing." She repeated, looking back up at him. "I'm just really happy right now." She said, forcing a smile.
He looked at suspiciously before smiling himself. "Well me too." He said, before leaning down and giving her another kiss. She took his hand and walked with him over to the locker rooms. He gave her hand a squeeze just as they walked through the doorway. A couple of the residents were in there changing into their scrubs, including Jackson and April who were mid-laughter.
Lexie let go of Mark's hand and watched them as she walked over to her locker and opened it. Jackson was sitting on the benc with his hands in the air, moving rapidly as he told some story to April, who was cracking up. What was so funny?
Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore and set her jacket down on the bench in front of her locker. She headed over to them, completely ignoring Mark who had been talking that entire time. Once she approached them, they looked over and their laughter died down. She crossed her arms over her chest and looked directly at Jackson.
"So, it is me that you have a problem with." She said simply. April looked between them before grabbing the rest of her scrubs and walking off. Jackson cleared his throat and looked down. "What is it Jackson? What did I do that was so horrible?"
He shook his head but kept his head down. "Don't do that. Don't make it sound like I'm overreacting. I have a right to be upset."
"Over what?" She asked as she sat down on the bench. "Whatever I did to you…I'm sorry, okay?"
He finally met her eyes. His mouth opened like he was going to say something when his eyes moved away from her. She followed his gaze and saw Mark slipping on the rest of his scrubs. "Forget it." He answered. "We're…cool." He said hesitantly before turning around and untying his shoelaces. She sat there, processing what this whole confrontation was, and then stood up and walked back over to Mark.
"What was that about?" He asked, nodding in Jackson's direction. "Since when do you two fight?"
She looked up at him, her mind still racing. "Apparently just now. He's being so weird, I don't get it."
He let out a laugh as he adjusted his watch on his wrist. "Last night at Joe's right?"
"What?"
"He said something about Bailey and the ICU last night and you told him to handle it." He clarified, closing his locker door. "Maybe he couldn't."
She raised her eyebrows. "That actually makes perfect sense."
He grinned. "Well you know me, I hardly ever tell a lie."
She rolled her eyes playfully and shoved him. "Don't go getting cocky on me now."
"Well I can't necessarily help that, can I?" He winked, resting his hands on her hips.
"Mark, stop!" She said before cracking up. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close as he laughed. She shook her head, but kept smiling.
…
For the rest of the day, Lexie did not let Jackson get to her. She successfully completed a surgery, got to eat lunch with Mark, and got Eli to take her seriously. She had even got Mark to drop her off at home so she didn't have to endure the awkward car ride home. Today was a good day. Today was a great day.
As she opened the front door that night, tired from another long day, she heard yelling coming from the kitchen. She closed the front door and made her way inside to see April and Alex in a heated debate.
"I just don't see what the big deal is. It's one plate!" He yelled, throwing his hands in the air. One of his hands was holding up the subject at hand.
She shook her head. "Of course you don't because you're Alex and there's no room for sensitivity or caring about other people's feelings or emotions..."
"Will you let it go already? I'm sorry that I didn't hold your damn hand through sex like you wanted, okay? I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He repeated, his face getting reader as he spoke.
"Don't say it if you don't mean it, which you don't." She yelled back.
He opened his mouth to retort when Lexie decided to end this. "Hey, both of you calm down." They turned to look at her, April immediately looking embarrassed. "Jeez, get over it. April, Alex was going through a tough time and he's sorry. Alex, April's a virgin and she's innocent, okay? Don't be an ass."
April made a shocked expression. "I'm not that innocent." Lexie and Alex both gave her a look and she looked down. "I mean…I'll wash the plate in the morning." She said simply, sending Alex a small, awkward smile before leaving the kitchen. Alex looked at Lexie, relieved.
"Thank you. It was like World War III every time I took a step near her." He let out a sigh.
She smirked. "Don't make it like you didn't deserve it."
"Yeah well, it's over now." He walked out of the kitchen, patting her shoulder as he passed her. She walked over to the fridge and opened it, looking inside for a snack before heading to bed. She pulled out a Tupperware bowl and opened it slowly, trying to remember what it was supposed to be. It currently looked like a mix between tuna salad and chowder.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps entering the kitchen. She looked up and saw Jackson standing there. He looked surprised to see her. "Sorry." He said awkwardly, before turning around. She closed the lid, stuck it back in the refrigerator, and closed its door before walking over to him.
"Jackson, wait." She called after him. At the sound of her voice he stopped walking, but kept his back to her. She took this opening to continue. "This is about me bailing on you at Joe's last night, isn't it?" He didn't reply. She sighed. "Look, I'm sorry, but the plan changed and I didn't need you anymore." She paused, looking down briefly before looking back up at him. "That doesn't change the fact that you're…my best friend and I'm always gonna be here for you." She had never told him that he was her best friend, she just always kind of figured it was unspoken. He taught her to stop being mousey and to actually change herself. That alone made him a special person in her life, even if he overreacted a lot of the time.
He just stood there, not moving or acknowledging that he had heard anything she just told him for what felt like an eternity. Finally, he turned around to face her. "What do you see in Sloan? He's a known manwhore Grey. He's just gonna hurt you all over again."
She stared at him, confused as to where this is coming from. Jackson never had a problem with Mark before as far as she knew. The only doctor that he seemed to have issues with was Owen, so this was a bit unexpected.
Then it clicked. She covered her mouth. "Oh my god, you're jealous." Her voice was muffled.
"I can't hear you with your hand over your mouth." He said, motioning to his ear with his hand.
She took her hand off her mouth. "You're jealous of me and Mark. That's what this is about. You saw us last night and you're jealous."
At first he was silent, which made her start to doubt her conclusion. Right before the awkwardness settled in on her part, he nodded. "Extremely."
Her facial expression softened and she sighed. "Jackson…"
"Don't, okay? Just don't." He said, before turning back around and heading up the stairs. She ran a hand through her hair and looked around.
…
The next couple of days were still awkward between them, but at least Jackson seemed back to his old self. He started cracking jokes with everyone and even acknowledging her. Still, Lexie felt uncomfortable. She didn't know how she was supposed to act in this situation. Especially with Mark oblivious to it all.
"Just give him some time. He'll come around." He advised simply, before leaning in to kiss her neck. She let out a small smile as he kissed her cheek. "Speaking of, I haven't seen the attic in awhile…" He slowly started to smirk.
She smacked his arm and leaned in, giving him a kiss. "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow." She opened the car door and got out, walking up to the door. She pulled out her keys and unlocked the front door, walking inside. Even though it was 2 in the morning, it was still really quiet. She closed the door and headed up the stairs.
As she walked down the hallway towards the attic entrance, she heard a stifled moan. Her white sneakers slowed down but it wasn't until the moan reappeared, this time much louder, that she froze. The surgical resident turned on her heel and stared in the direction it was coming from: Jackson's room. She stared at the door.
"They've been at it for the past hour." A voice softly advised, causing Lexie to snap her head away and clear her throat. She looked behind her at April, who held a brown leather novel in between her fingers.
"Who?" She whispered, casting a look back at the door before completely facing her housemate.
April rose her eyebrows slightly. "Jackson and some girl." She said as if it was obvious. "Ten minutes after I get in, they barge down the hallway and bang against the walls. Good thing Alex wasn't here or else he would've –"
"Wait, Jackson is in there with someone?" Lexie asked, interrupting April mid-rant. After a simple yet cautious nod from the innocent brunette, Jackson's door opened. Lexie stood up straighter instantly, but couldn't seem to move from her spot. It was killing her that she had no idea who the girl was.
There she was. Petite, plainly cute, with ruffled hair. She avoided eye contact and embarrassedly walked down the opposite side of the hallway to the stairs, holding a pair of heels in her hand. Moments later Jackson appeared in his doorway, shirtless of course. His eyes met Lexie's but she quickly broke contact and fumbled with her black messenger bag.
"Finally!" April exclaimed, closing her door. Jackson let out an awkward laugh.
"Sorry!" He yelled out. Finally, he looked back at Lexie. "Maybe it was a bad idea for me to move in next door to April, huh?" He said with a playful grin on his face and the glow of a man who had just satisfied his sexual cravings.
Lexie gave him a small smile, but her eyes screamed something different entirely. On one hand, she was happy that he was talking to her, but on the other she felt uncomfortable. She cleared her throat. "So, umm, w-who was that girl? I mean, where did you meet her?"
"Where did I meet her?" He repeated. "Joe's. Where else? Actually, I can't remember her name now that you mention it…" He trailed off. He let out a small laugh, but she just stared at him before storming over to the attic entrance and climbing up. "Lex?" He called after her. She didn't stop moving.
Once she got up to the attic it was obvious he was hot on her trail. She ignored him and slipped her messenger bag off and onto her bed before heading to her closet.
"What was with the dramatic walk-off?" He said, sounding closer to her than she had expected.
She turned to face him. "Me? What's with how you've been acting lately? You admit that you were jealous of me and Mark and now I come home to you hooking up with some bar skank in your room?"
"Bar skank? Nice, Grey." He crossed his arms against his chest.
"Just make up your mind please."
"Look who's talking." He retorted, his signature smirk appearing.
She shook her head and turned back around, slipping off her pea coat and pulling out a coat hanger.
"No actually hear me out. All it took was one kiss from Sloan to get you right back under his spell."
"I'm not talking about this with you." She replied, putting her coat onto the hanger and hanging it on the rack. She closed her closet.
"Did you guys talk yet about why you broke up in the first place or are you just pretending it never happened?" He went on. Obviously he was trying to get a rise out of her.
She sighed. "We're getting to it. Wait," she faced him, "when did this turn onto me and Mark? We were talking about you and that slut."
"What's with the name calling? You don't even know her. Are you…jealous?"
"Excuse me?" She asked quickly. When he smirked, she made a face. "Okay look, I get it. I'm with Mark again so now you're trying to get over your little crush on me by having sex with random people. I've been there. But stop being so childish about it. What Mark and I do is none of your business, alright?"
"I never said it was. That didn't stop you from including me into it by making me your scapegoat."
"I wasn't making you my scapegoat. I was just nervous."
He snorted. "Yeah well obviously that was a waste."
"Why are you being such an ass? What do you want me to do?"
"There's nothing you can do." He said, sighing a little."Look, I was trying to avoid this and everything, but screw it." He took a step closer to her and looked directly into her eyes. She started to shift her feet. "Grey, I don't think there was ever a time that I wasn't attracted to you. Even when you were annoying and wearing diapers in surgery. And now, living with you and getting to know you more, I just realized that…we could be something. And I thought that you felt it too." He paused. "But then you and Sloan…" He gave another pause and took a step back and looked down. She looked down as well. "…I'll be fine. I just need some time."
She nodded simply, not knowing what to say. He stared at her for a moment before turning around and leaving the attic. She sat down on her bed and sighed.
…
After that talk, Lexie and Jackson steered clear of each other. It was an unspoken agreement that they would only talk in group settings and even then it was short. This system was working, but it just made her miss him. It seriously sucked not being able to talk to him or listen to him ramble on about how he thinks everyone hates him. Why did everything have to go and get so complicated?
Everyone had decided to go to Joe's to unwind after a stressful week. Lexie was going to invite Mark, but decided against it. She didn't want to make the situation even more screwed up by shoving it in Jackson's face.
April took a sip of her beer and looked around the bar. "Why are there never any hot guys at bars?" She said randomly.
Lexie snorted. "How many drinks have you had?"
"I'm serious." April said, setting her drink on the counter. "There are always hot girls here for guys to take advantage of. I mean, look at Jackson over there. I bet he'll have hooked up with her in the bathroom before we leave. OH, or he might take her home."
Lexie looked around the bar and saw Jackson whispering into some girl's ear. She just watched them, starting to feel uneasy.
April laughed. "Wow, if looks could kill she would be dead right now."
Lexie looked over at her guiltily before quickly taking a sip of her beer. "I was just trying to see what you were talking about."
"Sure you were." She got up from the booth. "I'm gonna go pee." She walked in the direction of the bathroom, stumbling just slightly. Just then Alex walked over and sat down.
"Finally she's gone. If there's anything more annoying then sober April, it's drunk April." He commented as he got comfortable in the booth. Lexie forced a smile, but then cast another look at Jackson and the random. "He's trying, you know?" He added, obviously catching her. She looked over at him. "Jackson. He's trying."
She nodded. "I know, I know. I just…I don't know." She looked back over at the pair before focusing her attention on Alex. "I guess I always kind of knew that he liked me. And maybe a part of me liked him back at one point. But Mark…"
"Mark's your Izzie. I get it." Alex interjected. "That doesn't make it right, okay? You've been there with him so you know what you're getting into. Jackson's new and interesting, but still scared at the same time. If you go there and it doesn't work out, you lose him as a friend. So you let him put himself out there for you while you decide if you want to be comfortable or take a risk. I say, take the risk. You'll always regret not going there." He picked up his beer and took a sip. As he spoke, she couldn't help but think he was talking about April. Even though they hadn't ended up together, maybe she was his new and interesting risk. At least now he knew the outcome now.
She narrowed her eyes. "Why weren't you this wise when you and I were together?"
He pointed his beer at her. "We were never together, we were just having sex."
"Right." She said slowly. She shook her head and looked back over at Jackson. He felt her gaze and looked over as the girl laughed at whatever they were talking about. She gave him a small awkward wave, which he returned. When he looked away, she lowered her hand and sighed. "Why do I always fall for my guy friends? Can't there ever just be one guy I'm friend's with that I'm not attracted to?"
Just then, Mark walked through the door and looked around for her. Her smile fell. "Crap." She had completely forgotten that she had invited him over here today.
Alex sighed. "Hurry up and decide because Mark's on his way over here." He slipped out of the bench and nodded at Mark, who was approaching them.
"Thank you Captain Obvious." She deadpanned. He snorted, but then nodded at Mark as he passed him. At the sight of him, it felt like her stomach dropped. She stood up and slipped her hands in the back pocket of her jeans.
He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Hey sorry I'm late." He looked around casually. "Where is everyone?"
"Around." She said, distracted. She had no idea how she was going to do this, but she had to. "Can we talk for a second?"
His smile faltered a little, but he nodded. "Sure of course." She led the way to the entrance of the bar. On her way to the door, she spotted Jackson staring at them as he took a sip of his beer. She quickly looked away once they made eye contact and opened the door. It was chilly outside. She cleared her throat and turned around, looking into Mark's eyes. She hesitated for a second. For a second, she wanted to forget all of this and just be with him like she always wanted. He really was the man of her dreams.
"I love you." She started. His confused smile curled upwards into a genuine one. "I love you so much that sometimes it scares me. You make me happy and at ease with just one smile or look and I love that you love me despite my flaws…"
"I feel the same way about everything." He said, taking a step toward her and reaching for her hand. She pulled out of his reach.
"But we broke up." She continued. "We broke up because you chose Sloan over me. And in that time, I learned a lot about myself. I dyed my hair blonde, I tried to rebel against everything I was, and I realized that, yes, my heart lives in my vagina."
He tried again for her hand, but she pulled away a second time. "Little Grey – "
"Let me finish." She said, hating how shaky her voice sounded. "Another thing I learned as I broke down in the bathroom after hearing about you and Teddy was that I-I can't do this. I can't love you this much and go through all of these emotions every time. You have this hold over me, Mark. We get together and it's just emotions everywhere and it's too intense. I mean, there was an actual reason we broke up, but we haven't even talked about it."
"We will – "
"No we won't because I don't want to. I don't want to waste time talking about problems with you when we could be happy. And that's just me. I'm young and I mess up and I don't think correctly. I want and need way too much. But you? You're ready and able. You could adjust to finding out you have a daughter. I couldn't."
His face was now a stern expression. "What are you trying to say?"
"I'm saying that I…don't…need…you…" The words came out slow and uncomfortable in her voice, but she knew that they needed to be said. He stared at her, letting this all sink in, before looking down. "I'm sorry." She added softly.
He shook his head. "No, no you're right. I shouldn't have kissed you that night. It just started up our cycle again." He scratched the back of his neck as she ran a hand through her hair. "I'm gonna go." He added, before pulling his keys out of his pocket and heading down the street.
As she watched him, she felt her chest rise. She could finally breathe.
Before her mind had time to process what she had just done, she reentered the bar and instantly scanned around for Jackson. He was sitting at the booth without the girl he was with earlier. She walked over to him and slid into the booth on the opposite side of him. "Hey, what happened to that girl you were trying to score with?" She asked with what she hoped was a casual voice. She was still a little shaky.
He shrugged. "She said she had to go 'do laundry tonight'." He said using air quotes. "Whatever."
"Good." She sighed. He raised his eyebrows, not expecting that reaction. She bit her lip before sighing again. "I just ended things with Mark."
"Are you serious? Why?"
She gave him a look. "You know why." She said softly. "You knew before I did."
He stared at her, letting this all sink in. Suddenly, a smile spread across his face. "Wait, do you like me?" He crossed his arms across his chest.
She laughed. "Okay, don't ruin this."
"Sorry." He said, clearing his throat. He uncrossed his arms and stopped smiling. "I just, don't know what to say."
"Me either." She said, smiling a little. He returned the smile and then leaned towards her. She felt her stomach drop again, but in a good way.
She leaned in the rest of the way and their lips touched. The mystery was finally over. He reached a hand up to stroke her cheek as she pulled away, keeping her eyes closed. She felt his breath on hers. She moved away from his face and bit her lip as she stared at him. He opened his mouth to speak, but she shook her head. They had already talked enough. The rest could be said no sound.