Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to Tamora Pierce. I do not profit.

A/N: I don't have the COM books with me, so I am writing off of memory. I apologize for any mistakes I make.

Tris lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Like every other night, her window was cracked open to give her breezes access to the room. Abandoning all hope for sleep, Tris lit the oil lam and pulled out a book. If she couldn't escape the thoughts plaguing her in sleep, she would loose herself in a world black and white.

The thoughts or more specifically, the person plaguing her mind was her foster brother, Briar. He was a different person from the teenager who had left Winding Circle to travel with Rosethorn. Admittedly, they all were different people, changed by their experiences and travels. She knew that she herself had acquired, in addition to new powers, a new patience while she had been in Tharios.

But while her experiences had made her and her foster sisters stronger, Briar's seemed to have wounded him. He was scarred by what he had seen and done in Yanjing. He was unable to talk about it and he still had moments where the memories and guilt attacked him. He tried to hide it, but Tris knew him better than Sandry or Daja, so even though Briar blocked her from that part of his mind, she knew it happened.

The reason Briar was keeping her up tonight was the same as the previous two nights. Tris had been up late in her workroom, working on a complex magical theory. Sandry had had another social event at the Duke's Citadel and Daja was visiting a friend in the city, so it was just Briar and Tris in the house that night. And Briar's girlfriend.

Tris was just cleaning up when Briar's girlfriend, Leila, came rushing in. Tris had resisted the urge to roll her eyes; while Leila was very pretty, she was not very bright and very dramatic.

"You have to come quick," Leila panted. "He just… I didn't know what… I-"

"Leila, what is wrong?" Tris cut across the stuttering girl, annoyed and more than a little alarmed.

"Briar just…he all of a sudden started freaking out. You have to come!"

Comprehension dawned quickly on Tris and she rushed past Leila towards Briar's room. When she got there, she found Briar doubled over with his eyes closed, hands holding his head. She went to him, quickly casting a spell for peace of mind and a dreamless sleep.

The pain in Briar's expression slowly was replaced by peaceful sleep. She and Leila got Briar on the bed and covered him with a blanket. Leila turned to Tris.

"What was that? It was like, some sort of seizure or something. All he said was 'Get Tris'."

Tris frowned slightly. Briar hadn't told Leila about Yanjing? That was news to her.

" I think you had best go home, Leila. Briar will be asleep for a long time, and you should get some sleep."

"I don't know…"

"You can come over tomorrow to see him, if you want. Briar will be fine, he just needs sleep."

Tris saw Leila to the door and then returned to Briar's room with a cup of tea and a book. Settling down in Briar's only chair, Tris began to read.

Briar woke up by the time she had gotten to the sixth chapter of her book.

"Where…What…Tris? Is that you?"

Tris looked up from her book, "How are you feeling?"

"Groggy. I had another attack." It wasn't a question.

"This time, it was in front of Leila. It scared her silly. She came running into my workroom, panicked."

"Oh, no," Briar groaned. "I never meant for that to happen. What time is it?"

"About two hours past midnight. I sent Leila home, but she will be stopping by tomorrow to see you."

Briar only closed his eyes and sank farther down into the pillows.

"Why didn't you tell her, Briar?"

Briar opened his eyes to see Tris looking at him with something akin to compassion, perhaps even empathy.

"I just couldn't. Leila was always so carefree. I don't think she would understand. She would just write it off as some illness. And I don't want to burden her with troubles like this," Briar added, almost like an excuse.

"Can you tell me?"

Slowly, Briar nodded.

"I…we…I mean, umm. Leila and I were in here, doing…umm, stuff. Something reminded me of Yanjing. It brought back, everything.

"All of a sudden, I was back…in Yanjing. On the battlefields. I could…smell the death. I could…hear the fighting. Innocents, children, victims of something beyond their control. People I killed," the self loathing and guilt was clearly evident in his voice and expression.

Briar's speech was broken and ragged, choked as he fought the fear and guilt. Instinctively, Tris reached out and hugged him tightly.

"You did it to protect yourself, and Rosethorn, and Evvy. You did what you had to Briar."

Tris disentangled herself from the hug gently and stood.

"Come on, let's get some tea. Daja and Sandry are still out, so we have the kitchen to ourselves."

Briar half-smiled at Tris. He knew how much it bothered her to have too many people in her kitchen.