Reposted, because I swore to much, and I swear that I set the damn thing on a higher rating than I had. sighs oh well, it gave me a chance to rewrite the first bit after I got some lovely constructive criticism. Anyways this is kindly, a mary sue story, feel free to tell me how much you dislike it, cause after I get the first couple bits finished, I'm gonna toss it to the lovely wolves at deleterious to have their happy way with. Outright flames will be laughed at, and the best bits will be posted so that anyone who likes the story can read them and laugh along. Neither of the sues in this are self inserts, I just made them up cause the were fun characters I was thinking of using in another setting, 'the real goth' and the 'wannabe goth' come face to face and must face many evils and what not whilst hating each other completely, but no matter how they work it, they can't leave the other behind (innate goodness of humanity or something). Anyways listening to someone bitch about how people who write chars with long hair, never seem to have to take care of said hair (etc.) I thought it'd be fun to toss my two little bitches into middle earth for an experiment in writing.
real goth (imo) artistic type who is moody, wears blacks and other dark colours for various reasons, (ie- so the blood doesn't show up, or it was in my closet, fuck off.) owns one or more pairs of boots (ranging from doc martins to bitch boots, etc.) listens to different music with a wide range of influences (incubus succubus, vnv nation, iron maiden etc). Has strong political views, odd thoughts about morality and sexuality and mans innate goodness/badness. Has strong role models, and might like old horror movies.
wannabe goth (imo) going with the trend, buys most of their clothing at hot topic, wears black cause 'its cool'. Thinks Avril Lavigne is 'like omg! So cool!!1!!!1 So totally gawth!" Generally have no strong political views, and no big thoughts about morality except for 'my hamster died, now I need a new pet to name after my latest obsession'. No big though on sexuality except for 'giggle giggle..', less than no thoughts on mans innate goodness/badness. Has a rock star or one of the Olsen twins as a role model.
And if your reading this and are getting pissed cause it sounds like I described you in one of the above descriptions, I'm not attempting to poke fun at you or pull you out of the crowd for people to laugh at, but really if you fall into the second description, save it somewhere and then look back in two years, read it and laugh your ass off at yourself. If either of my two sues seem to resemble you, its not done on purpose cause hey, I don't know you. Kat and Cissa are my property, and the plot of this fucked up little thing is kinda mine. Well bits of it are anyways, and anything you can point at and go 'hey that was in the book/movie' belongs with much respect to Professor Tolkein and to new line cinemas.
J
Thanks for reading my long and drawn out authors note, now go watch my sick little experiment.. I mean.. read my story. Yeah.. that's it… read….
The world seemed to shimmer as Kat walked into her bedroom. She sighed and shook her head, must be a heat wave. She clomped over to her bed, enjoying the sounds her doc martins made on the wood floor. She stopped to peer into the mirror, running a hand through her unruly black hair. Blue eyes stared back at her questioningly, she was 5'7" and wished she was shorter. Her black jeans sat low on her hips, and a tangle of belts and chains dangled from her slim hips. Her scuffed doc martins peeked out from the ragged hems of the jeans. She had a black backpack slung over one shoulder and wore a blank tank top under a long sleeved mesh shirt. Kat wore little makeup, slight black eyeliner and silver lipstick, were all she found her face could tolerate. Tiny ankhs sat in her ears, matching one of the pendants that dangled from her hips. It was an image she was familiar with but today something seemed off. There was a shadow in the mirror where no shadow should be.
Kat shrugged and dove onto her bed, dragging the backpack off and on to her lap. She emptied it quickly, then began tossing things back into it.
"Poetry book, pens, hair ties, knives," She said out loud as she tossed each item into the bag. "Matches, lighter," She leaned over and pulled a few things from her bedside table. "condoms," she added with a wry smirk "cause hey, you never know. Eyeliner, lipstick, sweater, extra underwear, extra socks." Kat thought for a moment. "String, " she declared unwrapping a length of string from her headboard and dropping it into the pack. Reaching back into the headboard she added a few granola bars and some candy. "ready for a night on the town, she declared, smiling softly. She looked around the room with narrowed eyes, trying to see if there was anything else she needed, her eyes landed on a tiny teddy bear, white fur that had tiny black wings coming from its back. It sat on her desk, and she slid off the bed, carrying the back pack and picked it up. As her fist closed around the bear, the world seemed to shimmer and warp around her. Kat tried to move, but felt herself falling as everything went black. Time passed and Kat knew nothing, just spinning blackness that swallowed every sound she made and kept her from moving. She squeezed her eyes shut.
When Kat opened her eyes again, she found herself standing at the edge of a forest, staring at herself. Kat blinked, and the mirror image moved, and Kat stepped back. She blinked again, the girl facing her looking rather like a stunned trout wasn't a mirror, for one, Kat was taller, and this new person had way to much makeup on. Kat looked closer and suspected that the black curly hair on the girl was a dye and perm job. The other girl was wearing a skirt and a frilly blouse that Kat wouldn't be caught dead in, the blouse was dark red, short sleeve, with a ruffle down the front that looked like it belonged around the neck of a clown, and the crazy chick had layered the eyesore-blouse over a white fishnet long sleeved top. The skirt was black, long and had side slits up to both the chicks thighs, brand new doc martin knock offs peeked out from under the skirt.
"What the fuck is this shit?" Kat asked, glaring at the shorter girl. Kat looked around the woods, where huge trees towered above their heads and birds chirped cheerfully.
"Your totally trying to steal my look." The shorter girl said aggressively, placing her hands on her hips, blue eyes narrowing to slits as she stared at Kat. "I'm gonna kick your ass back to the stone age you ugly little poser." Kat blinked, and then started to laugh. She looked up at the sky above, and still laughing she began to walk away from the crazy little bitch. She almost walked throat first into an arrow. Kat froze, and slowly raised her hands, one still closed around the tiny teddy bear, the laughter dying in her throat. Kat heard a muffled thump from behind her and smiled at the thought that maybe someone had shot the other girl. The woods before her suddenly streamed short people. Kat blinked and finally looked up the shaft of the boy to meet the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Unfortunately they belonged to a cold looking blond man who had vulcan ears stuck on the side of his head.
"What the fuck is this?" Kat asked softly, as two more gorgeous men appeared behind the blond.
"we could ask you the same question Mistress." The darker of the two asked. Kat was poked in the back and turned slowly to face a short man with a huge beard and a large axe who scowled ferociously up at her.
"What did ye do to the other woman?" He snarled, holding his axe in a way that suggested he was entirely looking forward to using it. Kat looked past his to where her shorter doppelganger lay on the forest floor in a tidy sprawl. one of the other short men peered from face to face then pointed at Kat. She felt the world start to spine and shake in a disturbing kind of way.
"You've stolen her features!" he accused, Kat fought the urge to roll her eyes and lost. She sighed and looked again to the forest canopy, wanting to see if the sky was spinning, or it was just her.
"What do you look for up there?" The taller and bulkier man asked, coming to stand next to her. She met his gaze for a moment and was surprised to not see utter hostility staring at her. The world shimmered for a moment. "Do you seek god?" He asked gently. Then the world seemed to stop its spin for a soft short moment and her fist clenched around the bear.
"I talk to god," she said softly, quoting something an old friend had said once. "but the sky is empty." The world resumed its spin, picking up the pace until it felt as though she was at the centre of a whirlwind.
"The sky is never empty, my young friend," Boomed a rich voice from behind her. Kat jumped and turned to face an older man who stood next to the bowman. He was tall and dressed in grey and something about his image rang a bell in the back of her head. she shook her head trying to figure what was going on.
"I don't like this." Kat sated dizzily. "this isn't where I'm supposed to be, what's with all the short people, and what's with the chick who's trying to rip off my look with a perm and a dye job? I Have things to do." She practically snarled at the bowman, who still held his arrow ready to fly into her throat. "And if I were you buddy," She added, stepping towards the bowman, feet unsteady, "I'd move that freaking bow before I end up with an arrow sticking out of my prostate!" The man next to her chuckled, and placed a large hand on her shoulder.
"The elf will not hurt you." The man said, waving at the elf to lower his bow, the elf complied with a scowl after looking to the older man for confirmation of the order. "provided you do not make good on your threat." It was at this point that Kats doppelganger came to with a soft moan. The elf moved past them, as Kat sighed and rolled her eyes as 7 men surrounded the shorter girl who lay gracefully on the ground.
"I am Boromir of Gondor," The man said, removing his hand from her shoulder, he waved his hand at the older man, "This is Gandalf the grey."
"I'm Kat, and whats' going on?" Kat asked, looking to Gandalf for an answer. She blinked several times trying to get her eyes to focus, Gandalf appeared to be several fuzzy figures that weaved back and forth against the trees.
"We are on a quest." the many Gandalf's explained quickly and easily, they voices fusing and meshing throughout an entire octave of vocal tones.
"Can we come?" asked the doppelganger from her spot on the forest floor, and Kat wondered how she had heard what the old man had asked, as what looked like 20 people were clustered around the girl, generally fawning over her and asking questions.
"Yes." Said one of the short men, with dark curly hair. "you can come Cissa."
"I don't want to go." Kat said quietly.
"No one asked you." Shot the short men with the beards and axes.
"hush Gimli." Gandalf commanded. "Kat will journey with us." The old men smiled gently at Kat and she shifted her weight from foot to foot, uncertain.
"If you think this is wise Gandalf," said the other, unknown man, "Then this Kat will join us and the lovely Cissa on our quest."
"I don't have anything to take with me." Cissa said, allowing the man to help her to her feet. "Are you sure I will not be a burden?"
"No creature such as yourself could ever be a burden." the blond man/elf said smoothly, and Kat fought the urge to gag. What sort of fucked up world had she wandered into? Next to her, Boromir smothered a sigh.
"And what of you?" Gimli asked, glaring up at Kat, he was suddenly one person with several heads. "what do you bring to this quest?"
"Real doc martins?" Kat said snidely, blinking at the heads that all seemed to be talking at different times.
"We shall see." Said the other man, and she turned to face him, dizzy, almost stumbling. "You may call me Aragorn, the halflings are Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippen, and the elven archer is Legolas." Kat didn't move as the world gave a sudden lurch.
"You keep calling him an elf?" She said to no one in particular, "That's crazy, everybody knows... everybody.." Her tongue seemed to double in size in her mouth and she struggled to let the words out as the ground rushed at her. She blinked, staring confused at the dead leaves that were suddenly much closer to her face. "What the hell is going on?" She managed to whisper as the world seemed to tilt and spin crazily. Someone was calling her name, she closed her eyes, it didn't matter, she'd close her eyes and when she opened them she be at home, in bed and everything would be ok.