Title: Got Loving Eyes Of My Own
Author: / pseudohuman
Pairing/s: Rachel/Quinn
Rating: PG-13
Length: 2843 words
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, or anybody in Glee (unfortunately). And this story is so not used for profit.
Spoilers: AU
Author's Note: So, this is to balance out the intense-ness that was the last chapter of BYDKT that I posted yesterday. This is part of the FSGIMBL 'verse. Kinda angsty for the most part but then it all gets fluffy in the end. Like, sappy, tooth-achingly fluffy. Good, no?
Author's Note #2: Btw, this? Took me forever to write. I liked it when I first started and then I lost steam, so forgive the overall suckiness. I think this might be the first time I actually don't like anything in the story, lol.
Author's Note #3: Thank you to John Nighthawk for helping me with proofreading this.
Got Loving Eyes Of My Own
With a tired sigh, Quinn knocked firmly on Rachel's bedroom door twice and braced herself with a deep breath before entering the room without waiting for Rachel's consent. She closed the door behind her and was met with the brunette's back as Rachel was on her laptop, most likely compiling a playlist to suit her current mood. "Daddy, I'm really not that hungry. Could you please-" the smaller girl paused while turning in her seat, her brown eyes widening in surprise that it was not her daddy at the door, but her girlfriend of a few months, "Oh, it's you."
Quinn flinched at the cold, indifferent tone in the brunette's voice and she stammered, "Yeah, I um... You stormed out so fast, that I didn't-"
"What are you doing here?" Rachel asked, the waver in her voice betraying the brave front that she was showing to the blonde. She didn't mean to sound so hateful towards her girlfriend but the violently painful twisting in Rachel's stomach was screwing with her emotions and seeing her beautiful girlfriend standing in front of her only reminded her of her awful afternoon.
She had been sitting out at the bleachers, waiting for Quinn to finish cheerleading practice like she had been doing since they started going out, so they could head back to her house and get in some alone time. And she was just minding her own business, looking at music sheets for Glee, waiting for her girlfriend to appear from the locker room. But then Stephanie Bryce and Natalie Philips walked up to her, casting a dark shadow over her papers and instantly, Rachel knew her afternoon was not going to be a good one.
Both girls never liked her, always glaring at her every time she came to watch Quinn practise or whenever she approached her girlfriend and they just happened to be there. She knew that their animosity had something to do with Quinn. Since the Head Cheerio was gay and was looking for a girl to be with, it should have at least been with another Cheerio and not a Gleek like her, forgetting that their own Head Cheerio is also a so-called Gleek. But Rachel always brushed it off because Quinn chose to be with her and never gave any indication that she wanted to be with anybody else, so she never bothered her girlfriend about it. Quinn somehow eventually found out about what the two girls were doing and wanted to do something about it except Rachel told her to just let it go because they were all just harmless words. It wasn't like they could actually hurt her, right?
So Rachel didn't know why today of all days, everything that Stephanie and Natalie had been putting her through decided to culminate in her storming away from them and Quinn who was just coming out of the locker room. The things the two girls said, weren't any different from anything they said every other day. But today she just felt cornered, tired of it all. And when she saw Quinn heading their way, so tall, so gorgeous and just so formidable in her strength, Rachel felt insignificant. She hated it. She hated that for that one second, she resented Quinn, irrational as it was. The most unreasonable things sprung to her mind and she knew had to leave. So she did, leaving Quinn standing still in shock as Stephanie and Natalie smirked at her retreating form, knowing they finally cracked her shell.
Quinn had no words. She was too caught up in her heart clutching painfully at the sight of Rachel's sad frown and watery brown eyes, a scant hint of fear in them. Rachel sighed when the blonde took too long to answer. She stood up and crossed her arms to protect herself. "Look Quinn, can we do this another time? I'm just not emotionally ready for this right now," she said, drowning in the absolute certainty that Quinn was going to leave her. Because who in their right mind would want her really?
Panic began to reside in the pit of Quinn's stomach at the defeated tone in the brunette's voice, and she cursed herself for taking too long to answer. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
Rachel frowned and replied in a quiet, knowing voice, "You're going to break up with me, aren't you?"
The blonde cheerleader scoffed and choked at the same time because really, she did not like to hear those words at all. She'd sooner jam chopsticks in her ears before she'd let herself hear them ever again. Her hazel eyes narrowed into a glare as she pushed down the feeling of sick in her stomach. "Why the hell would I go and do a stupid thing like that?"
Rachel fought the urge to cower under Quinn's intimidating stare and pushed herself off the table with such a force that Quinn actually had to take a step back. "Look at me! I'm not perfect, Quinn!" Rachel yelled. "I'm not pretty like those girls, or like you. I don't dress or act like them. I'm never going to be perfect like them. I'm never-"
The blonde inwardly cursed the bitchy cheerleaders for their jealousy. She hated that after all this time, they still couldn't accept that she was with the brunette. Before she asked Rachel out, Quinn had tried to casually flirt with a few girls, including the two girls on the squad thinking that it would somehow stop her growing crush on Rachel. But she soon put a stop to it all when she realized that her feelings for Rachel wasn't phasing out at all, and had only sunk far deeper than she had previously thought, setting a home inside her heart and she just knew that she couldn't deny what she felt any longer. Any time she thought she could finally move on, one look into Rachel's dark brown eyes, Quinn knew there was just no getting away from the brunette and her enchanting smile. Not too long after that, Quinn finally got the courage to ask Rachel out and after a slight misunderstanding, the brunette agreed.
Apparently, the two girls were not very happy about that development and they were more than vocal about it. But they also assumed that Quinn would quickly get bored with Rachel and start dating one of them instead.
Nothing in the world could have prepared Quinn for how amazing it had been with Rachel thus far. In the four months they had been together, she had gotten to know the many other sides of Rachel Berry and she loved every single one of them. She loved nothing more than getting to know more of this girl that she adored with every inch of her soul. Like finding out that Rachel could be as quiet as she was loud. Most days, the brunette's singing voice could easily reach to the back of the auditorium, piercing through the iciest of hearts but then there were hours spent in bed together when the diva would croon quietly to the cheerleader, enveloping the blonde with love and warmth. It surprised Quinn when she realized that Rachel was shy as she was brazen. Sometimes Rachel would say things that Quinn never thought the brunette could ever say but there had been moments when Rachel's face would blush fiercely because of something that Quinn lustfully whispered in her ear. And god, a shy Rachel Berry was just too adorable and too hot for words.
So no, Quinn wasn't planning on letting go of Rachel anytime soon. Or ever, really.
Within those four months, Quinn also discovered that Rachel wasn't as confident as she portrayed to the world, that she experienced moments where she felt like she was less than. The Head Cheerio didn't know how Rachel could ever feel that when to her, Rachel had always been more than. Quinn didn't realize just how deep-seated those insecurities actually were. But this wasn't about her.
This was about Rachel and her anxiety that she wasn't worthy of being with the blonde. And Quinn wanted to fix that. But she didn't know how. Words were more Rachel's thing. Quinn thought of when she first asked Rachel out and she had forgotten how she practically gushed about Rachel, to Rachel just the week before, forgetting that the brunette didn't know that Quinn was actually talking about her. The tiny singer went off on a rant leaving her speechless and Quinn had to literally yell at Rachel to get her to stop. The blonde figured that just like then, she was going to have to force her way through this conversation to get Rachel to listen. Because as lovely as her girlfriend was, Rachel could be kind of a stubborn mule about things that she thought she knew.
"I don't love you because you're perfect," Quinn blurted out, cutting off Rachel in her rambling. "I'm well aware that you're not," she added, slowly picking up steam, "You have this unhealthy obsession with sweaters that have pictures of animals on them. Sometimes when you get too excited, you talk too much and I want to just gag you so I can get a word in edgewise. Sometimes you don't think things through and you end up doing or saying things that either annoys or hurt people."
Rachel felt her heart begin to shatter as the girl she loved more than anything listed her flaws. Flaws that she knew she had, flaws she knew people didn't like about her, flaws that she hated about herself. She tried to weakly interrupt the blonde's ramblings, "Quinn, I don't need to hear thi-"
The blonde cheerleader frowned, not wanting to let the brunette take a chance to say anything. Not until she said all that she wanted to say. She knew that, to Rachel, Quinn was agreeing with every mean, hurtful thing the cheerleaders have ever said to her. But Quinn knew where she was going with this and Rachel was not about to deter her from making her point. "No, you do need to hear this. Rachel, you're not perfect-"
The smaller girl closed her eyes, blinding herself from seeing Quinn say these things to her. She clenched her jaw, gritting out, "Yes, I got that the first time, Quinn. Could we please do-"
Quinn growled, rushing forward and extended her arms to harshly grab onto Rachel's shoulders, making the brunette open her eyes. Sad and fearful brown eyes met determined, apologetic hazel ones. "No, Rachel, you're not listening to me. You are not perfect," the blonde said and her heart dropped as she saw one lone tear falling on the brunette's face. She breathed in deeply, taking in Rachel's scent, allowing it to calm her down. She looked into Rachel's eyes, hoping that the smaller girl could see the truth in her eyes, could see that she meant what she was about to say. In a softer tone, she finally continued, "You are not perfect. But you are perfect, for me."
Rachel gasped in disbelief, more than shocked at Quinn's words and she wondered whether she heard her right. The brunette felt a burst of hope and she knew it showed in her eyes inciting Quinn to go on. "You're the perfect size for me to hold in my arms because you make me feel like the strongest person in the world. Your head fits perfectly on my shoulder, and I can just turn my head smell your shampoo, your scent and I feel like I'm home." Quinn paused to take one of Rachel's hand in hers, effortlessly linking their fingers together and then brought them up to her chest after placing a soft kiss on the back of Rachel's hand, "Your beautiful, beautiful, hands fit perfectly with mine. And when I look at them, I think about how perfect we are together, like I've finally found the very thing that's been missing my whole life."
Rachel bit down on her lip, trying not to cry. "Quinn-" she choked out, stopping when the blonde placed her free hand on Rachel's cheek, her thumb uselessly brushing away the spilling tears.
Quinn leaned forward to rest her forehead against the smaller girl's. "Rachel, it doesn't matter to me what you look like, or how you dress or how you act. You know me. You get me. And you believe in me. You might just be one of the most narcissistic person I've ever met but you're also the most generous. I know that if I ever asked you for something, you would do it, without hesitation because you love me." Quinn smiled when she felt Rachel nod at her words. "There is nobody else who can love me the way you do. And so help me god, you'd better not tell anyone especially Santana that I said something this cheesy but," the blonde blushed as she shyly whispered, "I love the way you love me."
"Oh Quinn, I-"
The blonde flattened Rachel's palm on her chest, allowing the brunette to feel her wildly racing heart. "You feel this?" Quinn waited for Rachel to nod before she placed her own palm over Rachel's chest, feeling the brunette's racing heartbeat. "I can feel yours." She then took Rachel's other hand and rested it on the smaller girl's chest to feel the hard thumps that she had felt thudding against her hand. Quinn smiled knowingly at the simultaneous pulsations, reverently whispering, "Can you feel that, Rachel? Your heart beats perfectly in time with mine. Only yours can do that. Why would I ever want to give that up? Why would-"
As Quinn felt Rachel's soft lips pressing against her own, she felt tears sliding down her face. And Quinn's heart clenched painfully, that the girl she loved was crying, but she knew they were happy tears when she felt a smile against her lips as she willingly and gladly returned the kiss. Rachel's hand on her chest had slid up to behind her neck, tanned fingers tangling in Quinn's blonde locks and Quinn responded by wrapping her arms around Rachel's waist, pulling the smaller girl's body to fuse against her own. They knew that this kiss was more than just a kiss. This was about restoring, resolidifying and restrengthening the connection the two girls shared; the connection that had wavered. And they could feel that very bond, thickening and stronger than ever. They both felt the fire roaring in their hearts and the blood coursing thunderously through their veins as eyes closed, hungry mouths opened, tongues dueled, knowing hands groped and desperate fingers clawed. And only one word ran through their minds: Perfect.
"You talk too much," Rachel panted after she pulled away for air. Her heart was still racing at a seemingly unstoppable speed, still reeling from Quinn's beautiful words that Rachel could still hear them echoing in her mind. She never wanted them to stop, never wanted to forget. Words might not have been Quinn's thing but when it mattered, Quinn just knew the right thing to say to get Rachel to fall harder and deeper under her spell.
Still breathing heavily, "And I had such an amazing finish too," Quinn lamented with a playful pout. She sighed happily, closing her eyes once more when Rachel pressed a chaste kiss on her lips. Quinn smiled, purring contentedly as Rachel tenderly nuzzled her neck, moaning softly at the cool breath that blew over her skin.
Looking up at Quinn from her resting place on the blonde's shoulder, "I'm sorry I ran out on you earlier," Rachel apologized shamefully. Guilt hit Rachel as she saw the hurt that she caused Quinn by leaving her so abruptly earlier and she resolved never to do that to her girlfriend ever again.
The blonde secured her arms around Rachel's shoulders, holding on tight to the brunette. "It's okay. I completely understand," she reassured. "Just, next time? Could you talk to me instead of running? Or if you have to storm out, could you like, go to the auditorium or somewhere close by?" She felt Rachel's head slowly bob up against her chin, acquiescing to her request.
Tired of having stood in the same position, Quinn shuffled them over to Rachel's bed. Without letting go of the smaller girl, Quinn laid them down on the bed and finally felt her muscles loosening as her body relaxed onto the mattress. Rachel moved up to cuddle with her girlfriend, letting long slim arms hold her tight as she nuzzled closer, melting into Quinn's embrace. Hearts beat blissfully, glad that for now, everything is good with the world again. Rachel now knew that Quinn wasn't going anywhere, at least, not without her.
They knew though, that this wouldn't be the last time that their relationship would be tested but they also knew that as long as they had each other, as long as they could still feel this, then at the end of the day that was what truly mattered.
- THE END -