Author's Note: Yes! I am back! I apologize for not updating. I'm super lazy. But fear not! I'm back with a new story! Sadly, though, I am probably not going to update my T.U.F.F. Puppy story anytime soon. And I am definitely not going to update my Donald Duck story, since Christmas is long gone. Anyway, let's get to the story!
It was a peaceful day in Equestria. The sun was shining, the birds were singing. And two armies of Parasprites were making peace. "From this day forth, let it be known that Black Parasprites and White Parasprites shall now live in harmony" said the Black leader. "Yes," said the White leader "No longer shall we waste our lives in meaningless warfare". Before the two leaders could shake hands, a giant beam of light shot down on them, knocking them away. "This is your treachery! TO WAR!" shouted the Black leader. "I'll drink from your exoskeleton!" declared the White leader. Meanwhile, a unicorn pony with a purple mane and a tattoo-like image of three diamonds on her rump was holding a magnifying glass in front of the sun, burning the poor Parasprites. "It's working!" cried Rarity, "Soon, the reflection of these Parasprites will burn a hole through the sun!" Just then, Sweetie Belle, the younger sister of Rarity, ran up to her sibling. "Rarity!" she cried, "Hold up, sis," said Rarity, putting her hoof against Sweetie Belle's face. "The slightest misstep could lead to dire consequences!" However, while she was talking, she unknowingly held the magnifying glass above her lower hoof, causing smoke to appear from it. "But Snips and Snails are throwing water balloons at me!" Sweetie continued. "Oh, they probably have a crush on you or something" Rarity replied, trying to get back to the task at hand. "Shut up! They do not!" Sweetie cried. "Look, please leave, I-" Rarity started, before noticing her hoof was on fire. "AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" she cried. Two seconds later, a water balloon hit Rarity. The throwers were none other than Snips and Snails, two young foals. Snips had a cyan coat with an orange mane. His Cutie Mark was a pair of scissors. Snails, his cohort, had a dark yellow coat with a green mane. His Cutie Mark was a snail, hence the name. Rarity quickly rushed up to the boys. "Snips, Snails, thank you! You saved my life!" she said gratefully. The duo threw another water balloon at the mare. "I have a feeling that last one was an insult" Rarity said flatly. Soon, the two foals pelted the poor mares with a series of water balloons. They both laughed hysterically. "C'mon, Snails!" Snips urged, "Let's find some more suckers to pelt!" Snails, being rather unintelligent, replied with "I like peanut butter…" The two pranksters ran off to cause more trouble. Rarity's expression changed from annoyed to enraged. "You do know, this means war" she proclaimed.
Half an hour later, Snips and Snails were busy filling up balloons with water while Rarity and Sweetie Belle were in the bushes, observing them. "Rarity, I think you're taking this a little too seriously" Sweetie told her big sister "Quiet!" the older mare shushed. "I've triangulated their position. You make a run from the rear, and we'll ambush 'em!" Sweetie Belle sighed "Okay. But do you really need those night-vision goggles?" Rarity had a pair of high-tech night vision goggles above her eyes. "Well, of course I do!" she said "They work especially well in the daytime!" With that, she put the goggles over her eyes. About half a second later, she started screaming. "AAAAAAAH! I'M BLIND!" Rarity screamed "TOO MUCH LIGHT!" Snips, having overheard this, whistled for his gang. Soon, three more colts, about the same age as the duo of pranksters, popped out of a nearby bush with water balloons in hand. "Retreat!" cried Rarity as she and Sweetie Belle ran for their lives. They were soon pelted with balloons. "It's no use" Sweetie Belle realized "We're outnumbered" "That's true" her older sister replied "We're going to need some extra help".
Soon, Sweetie Belle, Pinkie Pie, an earth pony, and Derpy Hooves, a Pegasus, were gathered at Rarity's house. Rarity was wearing a military helmet. "I am sure you are wondering why I called you all here" Rarity began. "Not really" interrupted Pinkie Pie, a generally psychotic pony. "I did not give you permission to speak!" yelled Rarity in the best general voice she could do. Pinkie Pie saluted and said "Yes ma'am!" Rarity continued, "I am Colonel Rarity Sparkler Fasionista Tabitha Mirabelle Germain Belle III" Sweetie Belle raised her hand and said "That's not your real name!" "Silence!" she said, "I've tried to assemble the best fighting force Ponyville has ever seen! Unfortunately, all I could find was you." Rarity continued, "You will hurt! You will cry for your mommies!" "My mommy's been to Canterlot!" Pinkie interrupted. "Oh, great, you made me lose my place!" said Rarity. "Anyway, after this, you will be men!" Rarity looked at the three ponies before her. "Or, mares. You know what I mean!
Soon, the four were hard at work filling water balloons. Derpy was in charge of filling the balloons, Sweetie was in charge of tying them, and Pinkie was in charge of labeling them with a stamp reading H2O. She tossed another balloon to Rarity, who threw it onto a gigantic pile. The ponies stood back and admired their work. Soon, Snips and Snails reared their ugly heads from behind the pile. Snails popped one balloon, which caused the entire tower to collapse. Everyone ran in terror.
Later, Rarity had painted a target on her fence. "Now, to survive a water balloon fight, you must know how to hit a target" she began, "When I say 'now', you will throw your balloons at the bulls-eye. Now…" before she could finish, the three mares pelted her with balloons. "No, not now!" she explained before getting pelted again. "Not the now that…" Again, she was pelted. "Now, just hold on!" She was pelted again. "This is gonna take a while."
Later, the four were wearing bush disguises. They popped their heads out of the bushes. "Rarity, these disguises will never work!" Pinkie objected, "The Rhododendren Germainium isn't even native to this part of the country!" "Shut up!" Rarity yelled "They'll hear you." She looked around, paranoid. "The enemy is everywhere," she said, "And nowhere." "So where are they?" Pinkie asked. "I don't know," said Rarity. "They're somewhere." Then, Snips, Snails, and their posse popped out of the bushes. "Water in the hole!" cried Sweetie Belle. "Drat! We're surrounded!" Rarity cried "Sweetie, speed around their left flank! Pinkie, you take the rear! I'll scream and run away like a little colt." Rarity then ran, like the coward she was. She dug a hole and hid in it. "Okay!" she yelled, "This is going well! I'll be in here!" Rarity was then pelted with balloons, filling the hole with water. "Help!" she cried "I'm drowning!" she quickly sank, before dragging herself back up to see Sweetie Belle and Derpy Hooves. "We stood our ground as long as we could," Sweetie panted, "But I think they captured Pinkie." "Those fiends!" cried Rarity "They'll probably torture her to make her talk! Fortunatley, she's well trained."
Rarity had no idea how wrong she was. Snips and Snails' posse was catering to Pinkie's every whim, while the mare went on and on about stuff Rarity had specifically told her not to tell them. "And we have 39 balloons hidden in Twilight's library and Rarity's going to attack at o' nine-hundred, and our password is 'Cupcakes!'" Pinkie said. Meanwhile, Derpy and Sweetie were manning a fire hydrant. Sweetie had a hose plugged into it while Derpy used a wrench to get the water out. Soon, a wave of water hit Snips and Snails' treehouse, blasting Pinkie out. Sweetie Belle and Derpy caught her. Pinkie, upon regaining her train of thought, quickly fibbed, "I didn't talk. They tortured me, but I said 'No way, Jorge!'" Soon, Rarity grabbed the trio from behind a tree and hid them there. "Good, you're alive!" Rarity said "Now I won't lie to you. We may have to run away to the jungle and spend the rest of our lives eating bugs and washing with mud, so…" Before she could say anymore, Sweetie spoke up. "Look, Rarity" she said, "I think Snips and Snails were only pelting me with balloons because they like me. And I think I kind of like them, too. So, bye!" With that, she trotted away. Rarity turned to Pinkie Pie. "I promised Rainbow Dash I'd be at her Wonderbolt audition. See ya!" she said as she hopped away. Derpy was the only one left at Rarity's side. Derpy got up and brushed the dirt off her body. Her usual, strange expression changed to an irritated one. She then spoke. "You're an idiot." Soon, Rarity was alone. "Well, fine!" she yelled to her former comrades "Who needs you? I can win this war myself!" Rarity was then pelted by a plethora of balloons. "Medic!" she cried.
THE END