General Note: I sketched this out for kicks, based off the tweets by Dan and Swampy about Ferb and Vanessa eventually meeting eyes in a coffee shop somewhere, after they're older and age wouldn't matter as much. I know others have written similar fanfics, but this is my take on it. And who doesn't love a little more Ferbnessa goodness?
Note About Doofenshmirtz: I went back to Dude, We're Getting the Band Back Together, where Doof found out that Vanessa liked Johnny and took the liberty of inviting Johnny and friends over for Vanessa's birthday party. What struck me about that episode was how pleased Doof was to learn that Vanessa had a crush on someone. He didn't act like an overprotective father ready to -inator the guy to Jupiter and back. Instead, he's all "OMG THERE ARE LITTLE HEARTS AROUND THIS GUY'S NAME IN HER ADDRESS BOOK ISN'T THAT SUPER CUTE?!" Obviously, Doof would not be a fan of Monty, but I suspect he would be a fan of Ferb, because... (see next note)
Note About Science Classes: Doof becomes a science teacher in Doof 101 at Danville High, but in the O.W.C.A. Files he's shown as an agent. So I ran with both. I mean, it's not that big of a stretch. Science teacher in the school year, agent on the off days. Anything's possible, so that's what I went with, and I envision him teaching Phineas and Ferb at some point. Given his interaction with them in Night of the Living Pharmacists, I assume he is fairly impressed with their scientific knowledge and reasoning, and would probably find them awesome, refreshing students...far better than the average, mediocre students he would normally teach. I have some other sketches in the works on this idea in particular. Maybe, if school doesn't suck my brains out first, I can get around to finishing those. Also, in Last Day of Summer, Vanessa states that she wants to intern at O.W.C.A., so I ran with that, too.
Note About Ages: In season one, Vanessa turns sixteen. In Act Your Age, set 10 years after the summer of inventions, Phineas and Ferb are eighteen. I did simple math - that would make Ferb eight and Vanessa sixteen when they met...and eighteen and twenty-six in Act Your Age.
Warning: This is a FerbNessa story. If you prefer Vanessa/Monty or Vanessa/anyone else, then you should probably go back. I am NOT a Monty fan in any way, shape, or form. Also, heed the T rating for talk of body parts in a sexual fashion and such.
Disclaimers: I obviously don't own Phineas & Ferb. If I did, I wouldn't be going deeper into student debt, and I wouldn't be writing fluffy, romantic fanfiction on the side to satisfy my creative urges or desire for more Ferbnessa, when I should be working on my thesis. Also don't own the title of the story, which is a 1967 song by the Cowsills. Reviews/likes make me happy. Flames are ignored -or- marshmallows are gleefully roasted over them. Depends on my mood.
~BD
The Rain, The Park, and Other Things
It was raining again, though that hardly surprised Vanessa. It streamed down the thick windows of the pub, blurring the street lamps outside, with an occasional rumble of thunder. Though it was only two in the afternoon, it was fairly dark outside, and the rain was supposed to continue through the evening.
"...didn't expect it to rain the entire time," her father groused beside her. "I'm sorry if it's ruining your vacation, sweetie. Maybe I should build a 'Stop Raining-inator'..."
She roused herself and smiled at him. "It's fine, Dad. It's actually kind of nice."
Dr. Doofenshmirtz was in London for an international science teachers' convention, and she had merely tagged along at the suggestion of her mother. A good way to have some father-daughter time, Charlene had claimed...though Vanessa was secretly grateful that the bulk of her father's time was spent in meetings, rather than tagging along with her to see the sights. It was also a graduation present of sorts – she had finished graduate school at Danville University a month earlier in May, and her mother had paid for her portion of the trip.
"I wish you would join me in some of the conference meetings," her father was now saying. "They're really not that boring, and you love science!"
"Just because I have a graduate degree in biology doesn't mean I want to sit in those meetings just yet. This is a graduation trip remember? It's supposed to be fun, not business."
"I know, I know. I just think you should think about the future, is all. Maybe you could be my teaching assistant next year at Danville High!" He brightened at this idea.
"I was just accepted to vet school so I can be a doctor to the OWCA agents, Dad. I won't have time, remember?"
His brow furrowed slightly in thought as he took another sip of coffee. "Oh, right." Then, changing the subject, he asked, "Enjoying the sights around town, pumpkin?"
"Sure, London is great."
"I still don't really like you out there by yourself. Couldn't one of the agents go with you? For protection?"
"I can handle myself, Dad."
"Like how you handled yourself that day in science class, when Johnny turned into a human-gorilla-lizard and kidnapped you?"
Annoyed, she snapped, "Okay first of all, that was years ago, and secondly, that whole fiasco was your fault." She rolled her eyes and glanced about the pub, hoping he would get the hint and drop the conversation.
He sort of did... at least, he returned to glancing through his convention schedule and after a moment, he said cheerfully, "Ooh, this afternoon's meeting is How to Scare Your Class With Chemistry! That sounds fun, doesn't it? Sure you don't want to come, Sweetie-kins? Blowing stuff up is always entertaining, you know!"
She was just about to sarcastically ask if the convention wasn't a LOVEMUFFIN conference in disguise, but something distracted her – a flash of green across the pub, on the other side of the bar. She put her mug down and leaned to the side to better see around a couple of old chaps drinking ale, and she caught a snippet of conversation in a familiar voice.
"...I think Camford on Oxbury is a great school! The science department is topnotch and you can visit grandfather and grandmother on the weekends. There are plenty of flats around, and..."
Vanessa spoke without thinking; the name left her mouth before she had time to process the scene before her. It hardly made any sense in that moment. How could four people from Danville all be in the same British pub at the same time?
"Ferb?"
He immediately swiveled around to look around at her, and his eyes widened with surprise.
"Vanessa?"
Phineas, who had been the one talking (as usual), glanced between them before breaking into a big smile. "Hey, what a small world! What are you doing in London, Vanessa?"
Her father had looked around, too. Before Vanessa could explain why she was there, Dr. Doofenshmirtz beamed and said, "Flynn and Fletcher! Are you boys at the international science conference, too? I haven't seen you there! You should have told me you were coming! We could sit together!"
Phineas waved. "Hi, Dr. D! No, we're actually here visiting universities. We're graduating in a couple of years and we're trying to get a head start. Ferb wanted to look at schools in England. Are you here for the international science convention?"
"Yes, it's going great so far! This afternoon's lecture is Scaring Your Class Through Chemistry! I can't wait! So! Schools in England, huh? Are you looking to go to school here too, Flynn?"
Vanessa abruptly remembered that Ferb and Phineas were obviously in her father's high school science classes. If she had thought about it, she would have guessed as much, but it was strange to see them interacting with him.
Still...he was certainly pleasant with them. But they were also brilliant, so it was no surprise that her father found them interesting. If he generally taught the run-of-the-mill teenagers who had mediocre ability at best, Ferb and Phineas would stand out like garish color in a monochrome world to a formerly evil scientist.
"I haven't decided on a school yet," Phineas was saying cheerfully, while the two chaps paid for their ale and left, grumbling about Americans. He went on, "We've both already been accepted to several different places and we're only sophomores, so it's going to be a hard decision by the time we reach senior year."
Vanessa glanced between the boys and her father again, before she realized that Ferb was watching her. She met his eyes a bit nervously and smiled. He had dark bluish-black eyes, very intense, and she felt as though something had dropped unexpectedly into her stomach. The feeling startled her. She had seen both of the boys occasionally around Danville during the past few years; it wasn't as if she never saw them. Heck, they still planned her holiday parties, and when she dropped by the school to have lunch with her father, she had seen them hard at work in the science lab. She had always thought Ferb was a nice, interesting kid. He had even saved her life several times – once from falling off Tokyo Tower, for crying out loud. But he had always been far too young for her.
The trouble was, he didn't look young anymore, and it was a stark revelation. He was older now, sixteen at least, sitting in a London pub and drinking tea, while wearing black slacks, a dark purple button-down shirt, and a loosened black tie. A black jacket was tossed over the back of the bar chair. He must have had an interview earlier at one of the schools. He looked sophisticated and attractive – his hair had grown out, down past his neck, and he was distinctly handsome. She had a weird urge to run her fingers through that silky green hair.
He's not a kid anymore... she thought. The little boy she met years ago, who had saved her life, was a young man now.
Phineas and Dr. Doofenshmirtz were still chatting pleasantly, utterly oblivious to Vanessa and Ferb.
"You know, you should check out some of the schools in Norway," Dr. Doofenshmirtz suggested. "Great physics programs there."
"Hey, thanks Dr. D! We'll do that! What do you think, Ferb?"
Ferb pulled his gaze from Vanessa. "Well, Norway is also well-known for its snowy winters."
"Another good point." Phineas laughed.
She had to say something, or her father would catch on to her silence. So she interrupted and asked, "Are you two doing anything tonight? We should get together and hang out."
Before the boys could respond, her father said, "Hey, that's a great idea! Vanessa's been touring London by herself and I really hate her walking around alone out there. The world is full of whackos, you know. Anything could happen. We should all go to a club tonight! I get out of my convention meetings at five and I could come along too!"
To her horror, Phineas actually agreed, and that was how Vanessa suddenly found herself with plans to hang out at a London dance club that evening, with Phineas Flynn, Ferb Fletcher, and (much to her chagrin) her father.
oOo
She couldn't imagine what sort of mayhem her father could get into at a dance club, nor did she want to. The whole thing seemed absurd and disturbing. While she wanted to hang out with Phineas and Ferb, she didn't want to hang out with her father in a club. But she didn't have much choice in the matter. Her innocent suggestion had gone overboard in a matter of seconds, and she didn't want to upset her Dad by telling him that she didn't want him to join them.
When she stepped out of the hotel bathroom in a sleek red dress, she discovered he was wearing slacks, a turtleneck, and a beret – apparently trying to look "hip". He held his arms out and eagerly asked her if she liked his attire.
It wasn't the worst she had seen him in (by far), and it could have been a lot worse, so Vanessa sighed with resignation and told him that he looked fine. Thank God he wasn't in his underwear and a cape, like that wretched high school video that needed to be burned and had somehow made its way onto the Internet years ago. That thing was still a popular meme, gross as it was.
And if she thought going to a club with her father and the Flynn-Fletcher brothers was a strange situation, then the cab ride to the club was nothing short of utterly bizarre. Vanessa had been content to sit in silence, but her father had other ideas.
"You know, I think Fletcher likes you," he said, out of bloody well nowhere.
Vanessa jumped slightly. She had been gazing out of the window at the dark, rainy night, and she had been thinking about Ferb – but surely her father couldn't read her thoughts, unless he had built an -inator for that purpose. Which was highly unlikely, because Perry hadn't come crashing through the window to stop him. She turned and stared at him, hoping he wouldn't see her surprise.
"What makes you say that?" she asked, trying to sound offhand and unconcerned.
He looked contemplative and slightly confused. "Do you remember that time this past year when you stopped by the school so we could have lunch?"
Well, that could have been any number of afternoons, she thought irritably. "We had lunch multiple times this past year, Dad."
"This time was when you actually came into the class because you were early. You walked in the door and told the class not to mind you because you were just waiting for me. The bell was going to ring at any moment. I stopped at Flynn and Fletcher's table to examine the progress on their test plants, and Fletcher looked right at you while I was inspecting Flynn's work. And then, instead of pouring water on his test plant, he poured acid on it!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz laughed at the memory and wiped a tear from his eye. "So funny! It went up in smoke, he fell backwards, and his whole face turned bright red! I'd never seen him screw up on an assignment before! And then I realized it was because he fancied you and you completely threw him off track because you walked in the room! ...I think he knows I know, too," he added smugly.
The whole conversation reminded her vaguely of when she had been sixteen, and her father had discovered her address book and all the little hearts she'd stupidly drawn around Johnny's name. Only, he couldn't know that she found Ferb attractive – she'd had more practice at hiding her feelings from her father during the past nine years, especially when one considered her "on-again off-again" horrible relationship with Monty. Not to mention that Ferb was eight years younger than she was; she'd sound like a cougar cradle robber if anyone discovered she was having interested thoughts about a sixteen-year-old high school student.
So she said bracingly, "I hope you aren't giving him a hard time in class about it."
"Of course I'm not." Her father looked affronted. "Fletcher's one of the most brilliant kids I've ever taught. And I only want you to be happy, sweetie."
"Oh, and you think I'll be happy with Ferb, do you?" she teased.
He looked at her closely, and Vanessa felt her stomach drop slightly. Bloody hell, did he know how she felt? This was going way too far...!
"He's a perfect gentleman," her father said thoughtfully. "And he has two outstanding patents pending with the government on some of his inventions with Flynn. I think NASA's interested in them? Or maybe it was the Federal Reserve? Anyways, my point is, that's the type of guy who is going places." His voice changed to singsong. "And one who can provide for my baby girl, which is of course all I want! Not like Mon-ty," his voice changed yet again, now distasteful, and he tossed his hand up in disgust, "who can only do back flips down the street. Where's the money in that, I ask you? Bor-ing. Might as well be an glockenspiel whacker with a spitzenhound!"
She couldn't help but laugh, because she had no interest in Monty these days, despite how many times he stopped by the office and asked her to reconsider going on a date with him. They hadn't even been on a date for five years! She and Monty were incompatible, she was over him, and she had known deep down from the moment she started dating him in secret at the age of sixteen that things wouldn't work between them.
Speaking of sixteen...
"Dad, seriously. Ferb is what, sixteen? I'm twenty-four. There are laws about that."
At this point, the cab pulled up to a posh pub, and Vanessa immediately noticed the boys standing by the door, chatting pleasantly with the burly bouncer. Her father got out and held the cab door for her.
"Say what you want," he said shrewdly, "but you haven't said you didn't like him yet."
She didn't have time to respond – Phineas was beckoning them over and introducing them to the bouncer, while saying something about how Ferb knew everyone and they could just go straight on in. The bouncer graciously ushered them inside a VIP door despite the long line of desperate girls and guys lined up down the sidewalk, and Vanessa knew she couldn't possibly say anything about the matter in front of Phineas and Ferb.
They were shown to a white leather booth next to the dance floor. A waiter brought drinks and Phineas ordered appetizers, and then of course, Phineas and her father started having a chat about scientific theory, which Vanessa did not find surprising – or, at the moment, remotely interesting. The fact that she was sitting in a pub with her father, Phineas, and Ferb was just as disconcerting now as when the idea had been pitched earlier in the afternoon.
Ferb was sitting across from her, watching her closely, while her father laughed at some joke about a chemistry set with Phineas. She tried to ignore the way her heart stopped slightly; Ferb was wearing preppy clothes again, but slightly more relaxed – a dark blue button-down and a pair of black slacks – and it was dead sexy. He was built to wear clothes, she thought idly. Monty always wore hoodies or suits, which got very boring very quickly.
"Would you like to dance?" he asked suddenly.
There was no hesitation in his voice, as though he were afraid of asking her to dance for fear that she might say no. It was a smooth and quiet request in that delicious accent, and Vanessa smiled at the way it made her insides flutter slightly.
"Sure."
Phineas and her father paused in their discussion as Ferb stood up and gestured for her to go ahead of him. She turned and flashed the smile in her father's direction. "Don't mind us, keep talking science," she said, waving her fingers at him.
Her father's eyebrows were up towards his hairline, but he didn't say anything, and Ferb led her out onto the dance floor, carefully maneuvering her between couples until they found an empty space. It was a fast song, and that suited Vanessa more than a slow one – it gave her the opportunity to focus on moving instead of Ferb.
The trouble was, she couldn't not focus on Ferb. He was a superb dancer, moving easily with her, keeping up with the rhythm of the song. He was a far better dancer than Monty, and Vanessa found herself forgetting that her father was watching, or that Phineas was nearby, and she fell into a flirting with her eyes and facial expressions. She couldn't help it – it was easy to flirt with Ferb, because he flirted back in a very subtle, sexy way. Like how his fingers brushed her shoulder or arm, the way he twirled her, the way he looked at her with a slight smile... it made her feel special, and she hadn't felt that in a while.
When the song changed, Vanessa didn't suggest going back to the table. She just kept dancing, and Ferb kept dancing with her.
oOo
"I never realized what a good dancer Fletcher is," Dr. Doofenshmirtz said appraisingly.
Phineas waved that off. "Oh yeah, Ferb's always been a good dancer. Vanessa is too, looks like!"
"They compliment each other very well," Dr. Doofenshmirtz noted.
"I should video it and put it on our blog," Phineas said suddenly, his face lighting up. "Everyone always wants to see more of Ferb but he's normally doing all the labor-intensive work on our projects!" He grabbed his cell phone and started clicking through to set up a live feed. "Vanessa won't mind, will she?"
"Oh no, of course not!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz assured him. "Actually, it will drive her ex-boyfriend crazy! He works in the same office she does, and he'll hate to see her dancing with someone else!"
Phineas laughed. "No kidding! I take it you don't like her ex-boyfriend, do you?"
"Big understatement! He's a moron."
"A moron? Doesn't seem like Vanessa's type then, does he?" Phineas was fiddling with his phone. "Okay Dr. D, we're almost ready to go live. Want to do a quick introduction with me?"
"Oh, I can do that?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked delighted, and he slid around the booth so he was just behind Phineas and would show up in the camera.
Phineas pressed the video and grinned. "Hey everyone! I'm live from the Club Posh Disco in London! With me is Dr. Doofenshmirtz, my high school science teacher! Say 'hi' Dr. D!"
"Hi everyone! Gooooo science! And disco! Woowoo!" He gave a big thumbs up to the camera.
"Ferb and I ran into Dr. D earlier today – he's here in London for a Science Teachers Convention! But tonight, we're all relaxing in the club! Since many of you ask if I can show Ferb more often, that's just what I'm going to do tonight! May I present... Ferb!"
He flipped the video from selfie-mode back to normal, and zoomed in on Ferb and Vanessa. The people around them had parted; the song was a fast-paced, and they were the center of attention.
oOo
"Moo-oom!" Candace's voice was shrill through Linda's cell phone. "Turn on the computer! Phineas is broadcasting live from London!"
Linda sighed. "Shouldn't you be studying, dear?"
"Turn on the computer!"
"And what are they up to this time?" Linda asked sarcastically.
"Ferb's dancing in a club with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz," Candace raved. "You do realize she's like, eight years older than he is? This is ridiculous! I mean, she's one of my friends and I like her and everything, but she's too old for him!"
Lawrence had already turned on the computer and pulled up the boys' blog. "Oh look, there they are! Hi boys!"
"They can't hear you, dad!" Candace yelled through the phone.
"Oh, that's Charlene's daughter!" Linda said cheerfully. "I'd better call her and let her know so she can watch too!" She gave the cell phone to Lawrence and dialed out on the house phone before Candace could argue. "Hey, Charlene? This is Linda. Oh, I'm fine. Listen, my boys apparently ran into Vanessa in London! ...I know! It is a small world! They're videoing live right now – hang on, I'll give you the web address..."
Across the room, neither Lawrence nor Linda noticed Perry, who had been snoozing in his small bed. He opened an eye and slowly moved backwards until he was out of the kitchen and in the hall, and once he was out of sight, he bolted up the stairs to the boys' bedroom and turned on their computer. Sure enough, the video popped up as soon as he opened Phineas's blog – there was Ferb, dancing with Vanessa. Ferb was smiling, and she looked happy, too. Their movements matched and they seemed to be having a great time.
Well, it wasn't as if Perry hadn't seen it coming. He had known for a long time that Ferb fancied Vanessa, and it was obvious she was interested in Ferb as well. The trouble was, it would likely cause some problems in the office. He suspected Major Monogram would complain that a member of Perry's host family couldn't date an OWCA employee. He suspected Monty Monogram would have a few things to say about it, too – he was still occasionally bugging Vanessa to go on a date with him, though she constantly refused him. And the higher powers would likely be concerned about potential information leakage.
He thought about it for a moment before he smiled and shrugged. It would work out; Ferb was smart and Vanessa was determined. With that, he turned off the computer, jumped up on Ferb's bed, and fell back asleep.
oOo
The issue with Phineas's blog was that many people followed it – and some people, like Isabella, had it set up on her notifications, so that she received an alert every time Phineas posted something new. She was on her way to meet the old Fireside Girls when her phone beeped, and she immediately grabbed it to see what he was up to. But as soon as Phineas finished introducing himself and their extremely weird science teacher, he switched to Ferb dancing. Not that Ferb wasn't interesting – he was a good dancer, after all – but Isabella just wasn't interested in Ferb. So she put her phone away and arrived five minutes later at the café, where she found all of her friends sitting around an outside table, apparently in high dudgeon.
"...she's way too old for him!"
"...do you see the way he's looking at her?"
"...totally not like him...!"
"...do you see the way she's looking at him? What is she, a cougar?"
"This calls for immediate action," Adyson declared.
"Uh...what's going on?" Isabella asked warily.
"Didn't you get Phineas's live feed notification?" Ginger asked, chortling. It seemed she was the only Fireside Girl not concerned with the situation.
"Isn't it just Ferb dancing at a club in London?" Isabella looked confused. "It's night over there right now. So that's not too surprising."
"Of course she's not concerned," Adyson groused. "Because it isn't Phineas."
"Ferb is dancing with Vanessa Doofenshmirtz!" Katie exclaimed. "Our science teacher's daughter! She's like, way too old for him, Isabella!"
Isabella shrugged. "I don't see that sort of thing bothering Ferb much," she said, pulling up a chair and joining them.
"It would bother you if it were Phineas." Adyson glowered.
A jolt of unpleasantness wormed its way through Isabella's chest, but she tried to ignore it. She hadn't really thought any of her friends fancied Ferb, but maybe she was so wrapped up in Phineas that she hadn't noticed. Ferb wasn't bad looking, she supposed, but she wasn't interested in him, so she never thought about anyone else being interested in him.
"Are you saying one of you like Ferb?" Isabella blurted.
Ginger was the only one who laughed; the others just looked sour. She answered, "Almost all of them like Ferb!"
Isabella arched an eyebrow at her.
Ginger shrugged. "Ferb's a nice guy, but..." She blushed suddenly. "You know I prefer Baljeet."
"Ferb's not going to date all of you," Isabella pointed out sympathetically.
"We were kind of going to let him choose one of us." Milly sighed.
"But," Adyson complained, "We didn't think he wouldn't want any of us!"
Isabella felt a twist of anxiety; what if Phineas never wanted her? He hadn't asked her out yet, and they were sixteen now, so she had given up most hope. And now, it looked like at least three or four of her friends fancied Ferb, but he wasn't interested in any of them, either.
A brief flashback to the famous summer of inventions came to her – she remembered, suddenly, their trip around the world on the summer solstice. They had been leaving Tokyo, when suddenly, out of absolutely nowhere, Vanessa Doofenshmirtz had fallen onto their plane. There had been a moment when the older girl had recognized Ferb, and Ferb had recognized her. It struck Isabella now that Ferb and Vanessa had known each other for far longer than the Fireside Girls realized. He had met her even before the Summer Solstice when they were eight years old...
"Now that I think about it... he's known her for a long time," Isabella said quietly. "Since we were eight years old, at least."
"Please," Adyson scoffed. "Where would an eight year old meet a... how old is she?" she asked the others.
"I think she's twenty-four," Gretchen replied. She was not particularly engaged in the discussion and Isabella couldn't decide how Gretchen felt based on her light tone. The redheaded girl continued, "I overheard Dr. D commenting on her birthday this past May, before school let out. So she would have been sixteen when we were eight?"
"Exactly!" Adyson scowled. "A sixteen year old wouldn't just hang out with an eight year old! He probably met her when she came to have lunch last year with her dad, or something. Still, it's creepy that she would be interested in a high school guy –!"
"We ran into her in Tokyo the summer we were all eight," Isabella interrupted. "She fell off a building and onto our plane. But she already knew Ferb, because they recognized each other. I don't know how they met, actually. But it was before we went around the world on the solstice."
The girls stared at her.
Something else occurred to Isabella, and she went on thoughtfully, "And then, when we got to Paris, Vanessa and Ferb went off together to test wind velocity and stuff, at the Eiffel Tower. But when he got back to the boat, he was alone. Phineas thought perhaps he and Vanessa would fall in love, but Ferb said she went off with someone else."
"How do you remember all of that?" Gretchen asked.
Isabella blushed. "Because I was mad at Phineas during that trip. So the whole thing kind of sticks out in my mind, I guess."
Ginger changed topics. "Seriously, we don't really know that Ferb likes her. The boys just randomly met her and Dr. D in London and went to a club to relax. Maybe they just danced together because they knew each other and didn't know anyone else," she said reasonably. "Maybe you're all blowing it way out of proportion."
"Maybe so," Isabella said, brightening a bit. "Let's watch it again and analyze the situation, girls."
Adyson pulled the video up on her tablet, and Phineas and Dr. Doofenshmirtz came on to welcome viewers. Then Phineas switched the camera from selfie mode to normal, and zoomed in on Ferb and Vanessa. Isabella felt her stomach drop. She had to admit, now that she was watching them more closely, she could tell that they were damned good dancers – both of them. And they way they looked at each other! Was Ginger blind? Vanessa was flirting shamelessly with Ferb, and he was almost just as bad! Isabella wasn't sure when she had last seen Ferb flirting with anyone, really.
"Sorry ladies," Isabella said flatly. "I hate to say it, but I'm pretty sure he's interested in her."
Katie looked upset. "Well, hopefully she'll get tired of him and dump him. Maybe he'll come running to one of us then!"
"Yeah, I can't see her staying with him. She's too old. She's just playing with him." Adyson's voice was final, but her eyes were stormy.
Isabella decided not to agree or disagree with them; instead, she looked at Ginger, who gave her a resigned expression, and both remained silent.
oOo
Vanessa woke up the morning after, feeling slightly giddy and mostly happy. Spending the night dancing away at a club with Ferb had been wonderful. They had only stopped dancing when her father decided it was time to go back to the hotel, which was earlier than Vanessa wanted to leave, but she didn't want to press her luck either. Thank God he hadn't said anything about it on the way back to the hotel. She'd been expecting him to call her mother and start planning a bloody wedding, given how he'd gone on about Ferb before they'd arrived at the club.
If she had hoped that he wouldn't mention the dancing however, she was sorely mistaken. As she meandered into hotel restaurant an hour later, her father waved her down from a table.
"I went ahead and ordered your favorite when I saw you get off the elevator," he said smugly, before she'd even slid into the seat.
"Thanks." She took a sip of tea from the cup that was steaming next to her place setting, and allowed the warmth seep into her fingers.
"And Fletcher's already contacted me to see if he can escort you about London today," he added brightly.
Vanessa nearly choked. She stared at him, forgetting the cup was halfway to her lips. "What?"
"Of course I said yes," he blathered on in his usual manner. "He's a good kid and so intelligent! Perfect for my little girl!"
"Dad! I'm twenty-four years old! Ferb is... I don't know, maybe sixteen? There are laws –!"
"There are no laws that state two friends can't enjoy London together," he said innocently.
She sputtered. "That is not what you are hoping for, clearly."
"Well, sixteen is the age of consent in Britain and in Danville. It's different in Drusselstein of course; thirteen for girls and nineteen for boys...I don't know where they got those numbers and it makes absolutely no sense –"
"Dad, seriously?!"
"He'll be here in thirty minutes to pick you up, so eat fast! And brush your teeth before you go! Oh, and don't kiss him on the first date. That just makes you look desperate and cheap and... You know what, I guess this is the second date, so I suppose that's a moot point. Hmm." His lips pursed together. "Well I'll leave that up to your discretion pumpkin. Just be back before ten tonight – we have an early flight out tomorrow morning!"
She gaped at him in utter shock. Had he really just spouted all of that off for the entire restaurant to hear?!
"I cannot believe," she hissed, "that you seriously think this is going anywhere!"
He smirked at her and the waitress appeared at that moment, carrying a tray full of breakfast. "Your order, miss."
oOo
Ferb was dressed in jeans and a jumper when she met him in the hotel lobby thirty minutes later, her father waving them off with a big smile as he headed to the convention center. Heinz Doofenshmirtz could be absolutely insufferable, he really could, and she'd half a mind to beg Perry to murder him when no one was looking! She briefly considered contacting OWCA and inquiring; Monogram would probably approve of Perry beating her dad up a bit, at the very least. And Perry enjoyed traveling.
Ferb must have noticed her irritation, because he said quite seriously, "Are you okay?"
"Yes!" She flushed. "Fine. Just... Dad. He can be a bit..."
"Frustrating?"
"Yes. Frustrating! I'm sorry. I promise not to think about him the rest of the day." She flashed Ferb a brilliant smile, and watched his eyes dilate slightly.
Despite that, he managed to ask in a smooth voice, "And what would you like to do today? Your father mentioned that he didn't like you being alone in London, which was why I suggested going with you today. If you want, of course... I should have asked you first, and I apologize for not doing so."
"Of course I want to! I always enjoy being around you." She thought for a moment. "Something quiet? Gardens in the rain? Rain always brings the colors out nicely."
He smiled slightly. "As the lady wishes."
And to her surprise, the abrupt, strange thought of running her hands under that dark gold jumper and up his chest made her heart jam without warning. Wait...what had she just thought? Why on earth would she even think about doing something like that?
"Are you sure you're okay?" Ferb asked again, eyeing her closely. "You look a bit..."
"Fine!" she insisted, flushing. "I'm fine. Let's go, shall we?" Resolutely, she squashed the evil little part of her brain that whispered, Wonder what he'd do if you brushed your fingertips over his nipples?
God help her, she really did inherit evil genetics from her father. Somehow, this was entirely her father's fault.
oOo
Thirty minutes later, in a little garden somewhere in London, the chilly, damp air helped clear her head, and she was able to focus on the beautiful, wet colors. Of course, it didn't help that she and Ferb were sharing an umbrella. That was really too small for two people. Because they were squashed together. Or at least it felt that way. Her shoulder was pressed to his arm. Actually, she was holding his arm. Hers was looped in it and pressed up against his side. He was holding the umbrella. Probably best, because she'd be encouraging him to put his arm around her, otherwise.
Vanessa closed her eyes and counted to ten. She had to pull herself together. Her father thought this was a good idea; so obviously, it was probably a wretched idea. Her father didn't really get brilliant ideas. Did he?
"Are you cold?" Ferb murmured.
"No, I'm fine. Are you?"
"I layered."
A small smile tugged his lips, and Vanessa laughed. So much for running your hands under that jumper, she thought. "So," she asked playfully, "what else should we do today?"
"I assume you've already been to the Tower of London, and all of the other touristy sites."
"Yes, I have. Those are cool, but I like to see real places, too. Not that those places aren't real, but..."
"I know what you mean. You want to see pubs and bookstores and such. Where normal people go to."
"Exactly. What's Phineas up to today?"
"Visiting our grandparents, actually. And we are not going there. My grandmother will force you to drink a pot of tea, knit you a scarf, and chat about her garden."
"Does your grandmother know you're on a date with an older woman?" she teased.
He glanced at her. "Is that what this is? A date with an older woman?"
"Well, if it were a proper date, we'd have lunch at some point."
"Well, I'm nothing if not proper."
"Your grandmother would probably accuse me of robbing the cradle."
"You'd be surprised. My grandparents may seem old-fashioned, but then at the same time, they aren't. And you aren't robbing the cradle," he added, almost as an afterthought. "Sixteen is the age of consent in Britain and Danville."
"Are you consenting, then?" Vanessa joked, trying to ignore the pleasant squirm in her stomach.
He glanced at her and smirked, and she felt her stomach bottom out. "It's your consent I'm more concerned about."
Her breath caught in her chest. God help her. Ferb was interested in her. Her dad was right for a change.
Well, that must be a world record, she thought. Heinz Doofenschmirtz was rarely right about things.
oOo
Lunch was some little pub in an alley, the type of place Vanessa thoroughly enjoyed because it wasn't a tourist trap. The man behind the bar spoke with such a heavy accent that she could barely understand him, though it seemed Ferb could. Instead of getting a table by the windows, Ferb steered her towards the back of the pub after they placed their order, into a tiny booth in a corner. It was hidden and cozy and there was a tiny little fireplace was across from it, crackling cheerily. Vanessa could hardly breath. Their feet touched under the table – heck, it was so small that their knees were nearly touching.
"Do you come here often?" she managed to ask.
"My grandfather's brought me here a time or two," he admitted.
"What does Phineas think of it?"
A strange expression flickered in his eyes. "I've never brought Phineas here, actually."
He didn't say it rudely or nastily; it was a mere fact, plain and simple. This was a place Ferb hadn't shared with Phineas, even though the two stepbrothers shared practically everything else.
"So... this is our spot, then." Vanessa meant her statement as a joke, but Ferb's eyes dilated slightly again, and she realized that was exactly what he'd intended. Their spot. A first date type of spot.
"Ferb," she said quietly, looking down at her hands – she was twisting the napkin something terrible, and their food hadn't even come out yet. "I don't know that people would understand if you and I were really... a thing."
"Good thing neither of us really care what other people think, then. Or... did I read into it wrong?" For a split second, he looked startled at the idea that maybe he'd misread her.
"No," she murmured, glancing at the fire. "You didn't misread anything, actually." She could hardly believe she was saying it out loud.
"Then... there's really not a problem, is there?" He sounded hopeful, as if he were daring to even breathe.
Part of her brain screamed that there should be a problem – her father thought this was a good idea! But the other part of her brain eagerly reminded her how happy she'd felt while dancing with Ferb; heck, how happy she was even while just chatting with him about mundane things. Then there were all of the times he'd saved her life... The way he'd looked at her when he'd been a kid... The way he was looking at her now. He wasn't like Monty or Johnny or any other guy she'd attempted to date; he was gentlemanly, and at the same time a little cheeky and naughty, and he made her want to do all sorts of things she normally didn't want to do. It was as though someone had released butterflies in her chest, and she didn't know how to capture them all back.
Without warning, she felt his hand slide over hers on the table, twisting hers around so their fingers laced together a bit. Sparks raced up her arm and she tensed. When she looked back at him, she could hardly see the blue in his eyes, they were so dark.
"You know, I've been wanting to kiss you since the day I met you, but I won't. I have a feeling your father doesn't want his daughter kissing on the first date."
There was a lot of jest in the statement to diffuse the situation, and Vanessa laughed, the tension melting out of her shoulders. "Actually, he said it was our second date, so kissing was up to my discretion."
His eyes flared at the implication, but he said, "I still won't kiss you yet."
"Oh?" She pulled her hand back, crossed her arms and smirked at him. "And why not?"
"Because," he replied, still cheekily, "I want it to be a moment when you can't stand it any longer."
The response startled her, but she didn't get a chance to reply – the waiter came at that moment with their food.
A moment when she couldn't stand it any longer?
God help her. That would be in about two hours, probably.
oOo
"Actually, it wouldn't even be our first kiss," she said loftily and out of the blue, as they walked back towards the hotel under the umbrella later in the day. The sky was growing much darker; it was almost time for dinner. After lunch, they had gone to a bookstore and a curiosity shop, and enjoyed browsing around – so much so, that they forgot about the time.
"No, you did kiss me once before," he agreed.
Vanessa sobered and glanced up at him. "I kissed a little boy that day. You aren't a little boy now, Ferb."
"No, and that's what's going to make this time so much better." His eyes glittered with amusement.
"Oh, really?" She laughed. Just to get under his skin, she teased, "And what if you aren't a good kisser?"
"I suppose you won't know until you give it a try," he replied. He switched the umbrella to his left hand, pulled his arm out from hers, and wrapped it around her waist. His fingers fell to her hip, and even through her sweater and jeans, she still felt as though she were burning away.
Nope, not even two hours, she thought dryly. Enough was enough.
With a little determination, she suddenly darted away from him, and pulled him into a narrow alley between two buildings, into a recessed, boarded-up doorway, where they were quite isolated. The umbrella dropped slightly, hiding them further from the street, and Vanessa grabbed his neck and pulled him down.
He didn't need much coaxing. The second her lips brushed his, he immediately kissed her back in response – a deep, heady sort of kiss that ignites far faster than one expects, like fire. Vanessa ran her hands up into his soft hair and he groaned against her mouth. Her knees wavered and she clutched at him, crushing their lips together again. Ferb dropped the umbrella completely and his hands found her waist; he backed her against the wall to steady her, and the next thing she knew, he was really kissing her.
Where on earth had he learned to kiss like this? She didn't think he'd dated anyone else, but this was maddening. His tongue curled around hers, and his lips were open and hot and desperate and damp. She kept one hand in his hair and dragged the other down over his sweater, found the hem, and delved under it. He was wearing a t-shirt beneath it, layered just as he'd said earlier. She started to tug it out of his jeans when he abruptly stopped kissing her, grabbed her wrist before she could pull the second shirt free and touch his abdomen, and dropped his head to her shoulder.
"Vanessa," he gritted out.
The voice didn't even sound like him. It was deep, and the timbre shaky. He was gasping for breath, his entire body tense, as though someone had electrocuted him. Vanessa's hand stilled and she tried to catch her breath, too. What was she doing? She was hidden in a recessed doorway in an alley in London, snogging Ferb Fletcher as if her life depended on him.
Maybe it does depend on him, a little voice murmured in her brain. He has saved your life a few times before. And you do like him. You've always kind of liked him, even when he was a kid. He's definitely not a kid now.
Two days ago, she hadn't even been thinking about him. Last night she'd danced with him, and flirted with him, but this... this was almost too fast and too desperate. Did people really get together this fast? But she couldn't help herself, and it didn't seem as though he could help himself, either.
Her fingers slowly uncurled from his undershirt and she relaxed against him. He didn't let go of her wrist or look up from her shoulder.
"Sorry," she whispered. "I... I got carried away, didn't I?"
He shifted but didn't move otherwise. "Vanessa, I'm afraid... if you keep on... I'm not going to be much of a gentleman."
She pulled her hand back and wrapped both arms around his neck, leaning into him. He was tall and lean, but she could feel the muscle underneath – wiry and lanky. She shivered. It felt heavenly, just holding Ferb. Not even kissing him. She didn't remember this feeling with Johnny or Monty at all. It had been a long time since someone had just held her.
"You're always a gentleman. That's what I like about you. I think I could fall in love with you. If I haven't already," she whispered. It was dark; he couldn't see her face. Maybe he wouldn't laugh at her for such a confession. It sounded silly and trite and fluffy even to her own ears.
"Vanessa, please." His breathing hitched and he tightened his grip on her.
"Please, what?" she murmured, nuzzling his neck.
"Don't say things like that unless you really mean them. I couldn't stand it if you didn't." He paused, and then added, "I need to get you back to the hotel." His voice was flat with resignation. "Dr. D said you have an early flight tomorrow."
"I might skip it." She pressed her lips to his pulse and felt him jump. For all he had been trying to undo her throughout the day, the truth was, he was just a teenage boy with raging hormones, and any little flicker of affection would send him into a tailspin. She hadn't felt that in so long herself. It was rather nice, falling head over heels. He had been trying so hard to be a gentleman, to be mature and respectful of her, to prove that he was worthy of her...and he was, she decided, far more than anyone else. But it was so easy to push him towards the edge. He'd done a good job of hiding how close he was to losing his self-control by joking around, but he was fairly close. She had always thought Ferb was in impeccable control of himself. It was nice to know he was still human, too.
"Don't," he whispered. "I need your father to like me."
She sighed and smiled, running her hands from his shoulders to his neck and down his chest, pushing him back slightly so she could look at him. In the darkness of early evening, she could barely see the outline of his face. "My father thinks you're great. He's been pushing me towards you since we ran into each other yesterday."
His brows contracted a bit. "What?"
"Don't worry, that part is shocking for me, too."
"It doesn't bother him that I'm younger than you?"
"You said earlier that didn't matter."
"It doesn't," he amended. "Unless it's your father."
"Why?"
"Because he's your father. I want to make a good impression."
"It won't be a hard fight," Vanessa whispered, leaning into him and nuzzling his throat. She felt his Adam's apple bob. "I promise. Dad thinks you're great."
"Vanessa," he said suddenly, "This. Us. This isn't something I'm going to be over in a couple of months, it's going to be –"
"Don't make promises you can't keep," she warned, remembering suddenly how easily she had ditched Johnny and Monty when she lost interest. What if she and Ferb got into this and discovered their ages were too great a difference? What if he met someone else? What if he got tired of her? She didn't think she would ever lose interest in Ferb, but she knew from experience that was sometimes a possibility.
Ferb kissed her softly. It felt as though fire curled up her spine and all the way to her toes, even though it was a chaste kiss. Against her lips he whispered, "I don't make promises I can't keep. This is forever. I knew it when I was eight and I know it now, especially after kissing you. Please, Vanessa..."
"Wow, wait a second. Are you asking me to marry you?" She tried to say it as a joke, but her voice was barely audible – partly teasing, partly stunned. He knew after kissing her? She supposed she could say the same thing. She'd never felt fire like this before.
"Not formally." The cheekiness was back. "I'll do that at a better time. When I'm at least eighteen or twenty." Without waiting for her response, he turned and picked up the umbrella, and Vanessa actually felt cold without the heat of his body so near. She should feel petrified and panicked, she thought with some surprise. Not desperately wishing for his body to be pressed against hers again.
But she didn't feel petrified. Or panicked.
She felt giddy. Ferb was going to marry her some day. That should terrify her, but it didn't.
oOo
When she entered the hotel room, her father was packing his things. Vanessa rearranged her face as he turned and beamed at her.
"Oh good, you're back! Did you have a good time, sweetie?"
"Yes," she admitted pleasantly, keeping her voice even. "We did."
"Did you kiss him?"
Caught off guard, she mouthed wordlessly. Damn. She should have known he was going to ask her that! How had she been so stupid as to not guess that he would?
"Oh, you did!" His face lit up gleefully. "Your whole face just turned red, honey! I hope it wasn't a French kiss; you should save that for the third date at least, but a nice peck is a good way to start things out!"
"So are you going to start planning a wedding?" she demanded, her temper fraying a bit. She didn't want him remotely guessing that Ferb had even suggested that.
"Oh no, that's your mother's department, not mine, although she might let me help? I did build an -inator once that shot confetti... I wonder if Perry the Platypus would let me rebuild it? Maybe I could make one to shoot rice... or bubbles... Bubbles would be fun, yes?"
She slammed the door to her bedroom before he could get started. She did not need this right now.
Through the door, he called out, "I don't need an answer right away, he's still got two more years of high school you know! Take your time, pumpkin!"
But despite her irritation with her father, Vanessa couldn't help but sitting at the vanity to examine her reflection, and smiling like an idiotic schoolgirl who had never kissed a guy until now. Then again, maybe she hadn't ever kissed a man until now. Kissing Johnny and Monty hadn't been anything like kissing Ferb. Vanessa half-wanted to go find him right then, and kiss him some more.
Three days, she thought dreamily. Then they'd both be back in Danville and they could discuss this further. But three days seemed like a long time.
Author's Final Notes: Yes, I know that was a frustrating ending, but I did not want to tease this out any more. Perhaps one day I'll write a part two, you never know...
The reference to the "Norway physics department" is directly from Act Your Age. I thought it would be rather amusing if Doof put the notion in their heads.
I always wondered if any of the Fireside Girls liked Ferb. They don't appear to in Act Your Age, but Ferb was clearly dating Vanessa at that point. So I wondered if they liked him before that. They wouldn't like Phineas - clearly off-limits because of Isabella - but I can't see them hanging around Ferb for years and none of them developing a crush. So I thought it would be fun if practically all of them developed a crush. I kind of foresee them just getting used to the idea and eventually giving up.
And as always, thank you for reading! Reviews and likes make me happy and give me some sense of gratification. I obviously don't get that in grad school very often.
~BD