I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh, or any of the characters. And if I did, I would never have sold it to 4Kids.

It's the first chapter, and it's pretty much the only thing I've ever written that I'm proud of when I reread it. But God knows how long that will last.

Yeah I was reading the sixth Harry Potter book the night before I wrote this, I got my inspiration for Bakura's crappy house from that book. He lives in the House of Gaunt, just, y'know, crappier. Also, he doesn't have a snake nailed to the door. Or maybe he does. I think he would think of that as an insult to Diabound. Whatever, if you want a snake on the door, visualize a snake on the door. He's never coming back to this house for the rest of the fanfic, so I don't really care.

Chapter 1

Bakura sighed and rolled over onto his back. He vainly attempted to sleep on the hard stone beneath him. Zorc had always favored the thief, and he had been allowed lodgings by the demon for his frequent overnight trips to the Shadow Realm. After the pharaoh defeated the demon, Zorc had taken his rage out on Bakura's home, for lack of a better word. The building was now a one-room hut. The walls and furniture were made entirely out of stone. There was no floor. The roof shingles were cracked, and some had already fallen out. The two windows were small and blackened with grime. The entire house was filthy, not that the occupant cared. He had lost count of how many days he had been in the Shadow Realm, and the house just got dirtier every day.

Bakura lay topless on the "bed". He guessed that he had been here a little over a year. Around three months after he had been trapped here, a nagging in his subconscious told him it was September second. That day he had silently wished his old hikari a happy birthday, but many months had passed since then. Bakura shivered. He remembered when he had lost to Marik at Battle City. Both he and Ryo had been sent here. After Ryo had stopped spazzing out, they had come here. Bakura's house was nicer back then, but there was still only one bed. They had slept together, Bakura staying up and holding the smaller boy close so that his hikari would feel safer as he slept. Bakura shivered again, missing the warmth his hikari had given his that night.

Bakura heard a crack above him. Great, he thought. There goes another shingle. Without opening his eyes, he rolled onto his left side, what he thought was away from away from the imminent falling shingle. He flinched when he learned that he had rolled to the wrong side and the broken shingle hit his right shoulder, the edge cutting into the bare flesh. Damn, he thought. He placed his hand over the wound, grimacing at the blood on his palm when he pulled away. Damn.

The thief got up and walked barefoot to the only other piece of furniture: a stone sink. He knew that the water was dirty, too, but it was cleaner than that shingle and he knew he should at the very least try to clean the cut. He turned on the water and splashed some on his shoulder, gritting his teeth as it stung the wound.

When he though it was as clean as it was going to get, Bakura turned back to the stone slab that was his bed. He cleared the debris from the shingle from his bed and lay back down. He let his left arm go limp over his face, hiding his eyes in the crook of his elbow. Vaguely, he wondered how everything could get so filthy, since dirt and dust and mold and such weren't supposed to exist here in the Shadow Realm. Just as he got as comfortable as he could, he heard footsteps outside. After the footsteps had stopped and the thief thought whoever it was had gone, there was a knock at the door. Damn! he thought for the third time. He reluctantly got up and went over to open the door for the unwelcome visitor.

Bakura was surprised to say the least when he saw the tall man with spiky, tricolored hair that he loathed so much on his doorstep. He narrowed his eyes at the former pharaoh.

"What the hell do you want?" he growled, his voice hoarse from lack of use.

"Nice to see you, too," replied Yami, rolling his eyes.

"Fuck you."

"Now, now, you couldn't have missed me that much. Besides, you know that Yugi is the only one that I'd allow to do that," said Yami, his eyes laughing.

Bakura growled low in his throat like an animal. "You still haven't answered my question. What the hell are you doing here? I thought you'd've been reborn already."

"Well, it turns out we chose a very inconvenient time to die. The line for Judgments was enormous! I've only just had mine, after a year of waiting; you know how every soul has to be Judged before it can move on—"

Bakura tuned out the rambling pharaoh. So I have been here a year, he thought.

"—and he told me where to find you and to come and fetch you, because your Judgment is next."

"What!?" That brought Bakura back to his senses. Great, he thought bitterly. Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, Pharaoh Righteous-Ass shows up to tell me to come and be sentenced to Hell.

"I said that your Judgment is n—"

"No, no, don't say it again! Shit!"

"Well, are you going to come with me or not?"

"I suppose I might as well." Bakura grumbled and went back inside to grab his shirt.

There was a pause while Bakura pulled his blue-and-white striped shirt over his head. Then: "By the way, tomb robber, your shoulder's bleeding!"

"I noticed," Bakura growled, pulling his dirty, long, white hair out from under his collar.

Bakura followed Yami out the open door, not bothering to close it behind him. He had walked the "streets" of the Shadow Realm on his own almost every day. He sometimes saw his victims wandering around, too. Once, he had seen that zombie boy, Bonz, and his lackeys. He had seen those bug and dinosaur freaks, Haga and Ryuzaki, a few times. He had even met up with Marik a few times, where they had bonded over their mutual love of causing as much panic as they could. After knowing Anzu, he hated using the f word if he could help it, but he had to admit it. Marik was Bakura's best friend.

"Fuck," said Bakura.

"What?"

"Nothing." Bakura made a point of saying the real f word every time he said or thought the f-r-i-e-n-d word.

"Heeeeeeeey! Fluffy!" called a voice behind them. Speak of the devil and the devil appears.

"I told you not to call me that, Marik," sighed Bakura without turning around.

"Sorry, 'Kura," said Marik, catching up to the two. "But your hair is just so fluffy."

"At least my hair doesn't frighten small children! And me, for that matter!" It was true; Marik's hair has given Bakura spaz attacks when he saw it too early in the morning.

Marik ran a hand through his spiky sand-colored locks, but otherwise ignored the comment. "By the way, I think I found Ryo's toaster." Marik held out what looked like a brand new toaster.

"Oh, yeah!" Bakura's expression brightened as he remembered the machine. "I sent this to the Shadow Realm when it burnt my toast!" He smiled as he remembered how his hikari had barged into his soul room, demanding to know what had happened to his new toaster. He hugged the toaster to his chest. "Now the only piece of Hikari's kitchen we need to find is the blender."

Yami eyed Bakura hugging the toaster. "If you start making out with that thing I'm leaving you here," he said, rolling his eyes. Bakura and Marik were suddenly reminded of his presence.

"So, 'Kura," said Marik. "Where are you going with Pharaoh Asshole?"

Bakura's good mood quickly vanished. "To my Judgment," he answered with a sigh.

Marik's face fell. "You mean you're not coming back here? You're leaving me all alone? But Bakura, I'm your best friend—"

"Fuck," interjected Bakura.

"—and I'm not dead so I don't get a Judgment yet and I'll be all alone here! Only the one who sends you to the Shadow Realm can let you out! When are you gonna let me out, Pharaoh?"

"When Hell has an ice cream stand," Yami answered nastily.

"Well, then, I'll be sure to set one up when I get there," said Bakura without expression. Marik smiled a little. Then, before Bakura knew what had happened, Marik had swept him into a tight hug.

"I'M GONNA MISS YOU!!" Marik cried.

"Augh! Marik, you bastard! Your hair is trying to bite me!" Bakura cried, just as loudly. His legs, dangling a foot off the ground, kicked uselessly. His arms were pinned to his sides by Marik's crushing embrace, with the toaster smashed between them. "I can't breathe, baka!"

Marik let him go. Bakura clutched his chest where the toaster had dug into it and gasped for air. "You're…an asshole…you know…that?" he gasped.

Bakura and Yami said goodbye to Marik. Bakura shoved Ryo's toaster into Marik's chest with a little more force than necessary, and reminded him to look out for the blender.

Bakura and Yami walked in silence the rest of the way. When they exited the Shadow Realm, Bakura let out an audible gasp, which Yami ignored. They were in a long, marble hallway. At their end was a purple door engraved with the Millennium Eye symbol, the door to the Shadow Realm, the door they had just come out of. At the other end of the hallway was an oak door, twice as tall as the others, bearing the same symbol. Along the left side of the hallway, seven pure white doors stood. Along the right side, seven bloodred doors. Bakura knew that each door led to a different level of Heaven and Hell. He gazed warily at the door closest to him, the door that he knew led to the seventh and worst level of Hell. Bakura didn't even notice Yami trying to get his attention until Yami grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards the oak door.

"Hey! What the hell!?" he cried, trying to break Yami's surprisingly strong grip. It suddenly hit him how frightened he was. Zorc was angry at him for his failure in the Memory World, and if he were sent to Hell, he knew Zorc would torture him for all eternity.

Yami pushed the oak doors open with the hand that wasn't restraining Bakura. "It's time for your Judgment. I'm not allowed in. Good luck, tomb robber!" With that, he jerked Bakura forward, released his wrist, and pushed his back, forcing him into the room, all in one fluid movement. Bakura, thrown off balance by this, fell to his hands and knees inside the room.

"Aua! Yami, wait—!" he called, pushing himself back up.

But Yami had already shut the door and left.