Like a Circus

"Really?" Gale stared at me as though I just sprouted wings and started drooling out of my nose.

"Yes." I nodded.

"Why? Katniss it's crazy."

I shrugged and smiled then looked out over the railing and into the beautiful late evening sky. It was calming and soothing; I took a deep breath and inhaled the cool crisp scent of the forest under us. "Because I don't want my funeral to be sad." I finally spoke. We were sitting on the balcony of Peeta's and my house in District twelve; Gale having come back for his annual 'Try to Get Back into Katniss' Good Grace' visit. He usually brings a whole bunch of gifts for Peeta and me, and this time was no exception.

I was currently nursing a cup of expensive coffee and nibbling on some sort of chocolate cookie that just had to be rare as well.

Gale scoffed. "Katniss, it's a funeral. A time of mourning. It's meant to be sad." He stated slowly, as though I were a two year old.

"Gale it's my funeral. These are my requests." I ran a hand through my hair and tilted my head. "If you want I can go find Peeta instead."

"Yeah, why don't you do that?" He raised an eyebrow at me. "After all he is your husband."

At that I avoided his calculating eyes, but I did answer. "Yeah but…I don't want to burden him with it…and…" I trailed off.

He stared at me before rolling his eyes and sighing. "And I owe you one…Alright alright. Go on."

"Like I said no black. Everyone must dress colorful, in happy bright colors." I smiled. "And no sad, depressing music. Something fun, popish-those songs that instantly bring a smile to your face and makes your foot tap."

He nodded, but I saw the smile he was suppressing.

"And flowers. I'm not all that special to have loads of them tossed on me alone. Have every one spread them about the cemetery on other graves…it always looks so gloomy and depressing…at least for one day it should be bright, colorful and happy."

At that, he did crack a smile.

"Oh and no sad stories about how everyone will miss me! Tell happy ones! Funny ones! The time's I made mistakes and everyone laughed, when I tripped into the cake and took down the table as well. I want people to remember me as they knew me, not the way I died."

Gale reached over the table and took my hands in his own; they felt warm and strong and secure. Absently he stoked my knuckles with his thumb and I resisted the urge to pull my hands away; I was still a little uneasy about people touching me.

"Circus." I stated loudly.

"Sorry?"

I smiled and squeezed his hands. "When you're at the circus, you're happy, excited, full of wonder and imagination is everywhere. That's what I want people to feel at my funeral. Like they're at the circus; they should be happy that we all got to spend time together, not mourn it. I want excitement and wonder and-"

"Elephants dressed in hot pink holding umbrellas?" He cut in with a smirk. "I get it Katniss, no sorrow. You want people to be cheerful and full of joy that we all got to spend time with one another and you want everyone to spread that joy as much as they could."

"Yeah." I smiled. Gale always knew where I was coming from and exactly what I wanted.

It's one of the things I miss, someone who just had that connection that nothing but time can create.

Things between us have been slow, awkward and uneasy; but he owed me one, and this is the way he's going to pay me back. By planning my funeral.

I bit my lip and turned to look out at the darkening sky, every once in awhile I saw the twinkling of the stars as they tried to peak through.

"Katniss you're going to live a long time." Gale broke the comfortable silence that settled over us.

"What do you mean?" I whispered, but I felt his grip tighten on my hands.

"You're going to live to an old age and die peacefully in your sleep."

I smiled fondly out into the sky before looking at him. "Nothing is guaranteed Gale…you know that." I saw hesitation in his eyes, the worry, the pain of the unknown, but I held on tight to his hands and smiled. "All we have is now; shouldn't we make the best of it?"

"Say's the girl making me plan her funeral."

"Exactly."

Like a Circus Like a Circus

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