A/N: Hey all, welcome to my new fanfic, which I will *hopefully* be able to finish. If you've seen any of my other stories (which I doubt), you'll see that maybe I had a good idea for a story, but I never finished. I hope to change that with this new fanfic, which has a lot of potential. After all, Teuchi the Ramen Guy barely ever gets screen time, and if he does it isn't very important. So what if Teuchi was given a better role? Even better, a role as a villain? [FYI: this is alternate universe. Naruto has defeated Pein without the village being destroyed, that is probably the only difference, but if there are more I will let you guys know about them later on.
Chapter One: Debt, Dattebayo!
Naruto was walking down the streets of Konoha, whistling happily. He had successfully defeated Pein, leader of the Akatsuki, which severely limited the rest of the members for options on capturing the Jinchuuriki. All around him, villagers were cheering at a glimpse of their savior.
"Congratulations Naruto-kun, on defeating the menace to our youthfulness! Some day I will reach your level, I promise it! If I do not, I will run around Konoha for ten hours using only my pinkies! Yosh!" yelled an energetic Rock Lee.
"Woah, calm down Lee, there's no need for that! You're plenty strong already, dattebayo!" replied Naruto.
"Oh Naruto-kun, you are so kind with your words of praise! Naruto-kun, I wish I could keep talking to you, but Gai-sensei has me on an extreme training program, and I must meet him at the Training Ground. I will see you later!" With that, Lee ran off to do some crazy training regimen with his equally crazy teacher.
"Oh, Bushy Brow never changes, does he…" chuckled Naruto, continuing on his way. He was nearly at his destination, Ichiraku Ramen. However, he had not brought any money; people all around were giving Naruto the goods they were selling for free, one of the bright sides to being a hero.
Naruto approached Ichiraku Ramen, and walked through the flaps at the front of the stall, falling into his regular routine. He took a seat, and called out, "Hey, Ramen Guy! Can I have three bowls of miso ramen please?"
Teuchi came out from behind the stove. "Oh, of course I will Mr. Hero-sama!" Teuchi started to prepare Naruto's usual.
"Hero-sama…?" Naruto muttered under his breath. Well, he had saved the village, he reasoned. Perhaps certain people would feel entitled to call him that?
Naruto grinned. It wouldn't be hard to get used to, that's for sure.
Teuchi turned around, carrying three bowls of ramen.
"Here you go Hero-sama!" said Teuchi, stressing the '-sama.'
"Thanks Ramen Guy! You're the best!" Naruto dug in, finishing two bowls in literally seconds. He was about to start on the third, when…
"Uh uh Mr. Hero-sama. Before you start this bowl, you have to answer me this: do you have money to pay me for this meal?" Naruto frowned. "Well I thought that since I am the hero and all, this meal would be on the house…"
"WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG DIDN'T YOU?" yelled Teuchi, startling Naruto. He hadn't ever heard Teuchi yell.
"Wha- Ramen Guy?! Are you okay?"
"NO, I AM CERTAINLY NOT OKAY! YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO PAY FOR A BOWL OF RAMEN IN F&%$ING EVER! Well," said Teuchi with a sadistic grin, "It's a good thing I have written down how exactly how much you owe me for all those extra bowls that you couldn't pay for. AND ANOTHER THING!" yelled out Teuchi, startling Naruto again. "YOU CAN'T FLIPPING REMEMBER MY NAME, YOU LITTLE S&$%?! IT'S TEUCHI, YOU GOT THAT? TEUCHI." At the last word, Teuchi had pulled closer to Naruto's ear so he would hear loud and clear.
"Ouch Rame- I mean Teuchi, that hurt!"
"It better have! And one more thing, until you pay off this exact amount-," Teuchi pulled out an extremely large scroll and dropped it on the wooden eating area. The stall trembled from the weight, and a loud thump was heard. "=this bowl of ramen-," Teuchi pointed to the third bowl. "-will be your last! So.. eat up!" Teuchi finished, with an evil smile on his face. Naruto stared at Teuchi in fear, and then started to open the scroll. He was lucky the total amount he owed was at the end of the scroll he opened, because this scroll looked like it could travel for miles…
"WHAT?! 230 billion ryo?! There's no way I can pay that off, not even with my lifetime savings! You're kidding me, right Ra-... Teuchi? Right?" Naruto said the last word with a pleading look. Teuchi merely grinned evilly.
"Oh Hero-sama, I assure you, I am not kidding!"
Naruto drooped. Then he remembered the last bowl.
'Well, if this is my last bowl of ramen ever, I might as well eat it...' Naruto started to scoop up a noodle, when a familiar voice from inside him spoke.
Brat. Don't eat that. It's spiked with poison and microscopic explosion tags.
Naruto dropped his chopsticks almost immediately. Teuchi smiled evilly again. "I knew that annoying fox would figure out what you half-wit couldn't. I counted on it in fact. Do you know why…?" Naruto shook his head.
"I counted on it because I planned to do this! Sayonara, Hero-sama!" Teuchi formed a half hand seal.
'Wait, I didn't know he could do ninjutsu… OH SHI-' thought Naruto, as he noticed black smoke coming out of his bowl. He scrambled up and ran outside, only to have the bowl thrown at his head. The miniscule explosion was enough to throw his body half a mile away. He landed in a dumpster, and silently sat there for a while, ignoring the strange looks people were giving him. 'Why is Ramen Guy so evil all of a sudden? And why is he pulling this "debt" card on me?' Naruto brooded until he finally decided what he would do.
'Well, the only way out of this mess (and the only way to get ramen again) is to save up the money I owe and pay it back! But I wonder how I'll do that...'
Naruto looked up and saw Kakashi walk by, Icha Icha Tactics in hand, head in the book. Without looking up, Kakashi said "Naruto, I don't understand why you're in a dumpster and I'm not sure I want to know." Kakashi kept walking, not bothering to inquire Naruto further.
Naruto was suddenly hit with a bolt of inspiration: Kakashi was a jounin, and he had done plenty of well paid missions. He would infiltrate Kakashi's house while he was still out and steal all his mission pay! It wasn't the right thing to do, but Naruto was desperate…
Naruto exited the dumpster, and started the trek to Kakashi's house.
A/N: So how was that? It wasn't as funny this chapter as I hoped, but trust me when I say that the ideas in my head will prove this story MUCH more humorous in the next chapters. Don't believe me? Well for example, the next chapter has a lot of Icha Icha… ;)
Read and review. Seriously. Reviews are the one and ONLY reason I continue a story. I love reviews. If you have even 5 seconds, leave a one word review. Though I like longer reviews that state what you liked about the chapter, and what needs to be reviewed. Thanks for reading!