My mother once said to me "Money isn't the only thing, but it beats
whatever's in second place." I didn't understand; she had come from a
relatively poor but respected pureblood family and married into my father's
rich one. I had always had what I wanted whenever I wanted. How could I
have grasped just how precious that commodity was?
I don't think anyone realises it at the time but when you are in school your life is cocooned in cotton. I've never been good with analogies but, for me, that is the best way to explain it. When you're in school your future is open before you, there will be no bumps along the road and love is enough.
How wrong could I have been? Love? LOVE? I can tell you one thing, sometimes love just doesn't cut it. When you're trying to find second hand clothing for a squalling child that seems to be the only light in your life it can be the last thing on your mind.
So when I met and fell in love with a boy who was more interested in muggle studies than quidditch, who didn't have any background to speak of except his pureblood heritage it didn't impact on me how hard my life would be if I chose him. Even when my father threatened to withdraw my inheritance I didn't acquiesce. "Love is enough," I said, "Love will be enough."
I have never aired my feelings in front of the children, and seldom do I admit my frustration to Arthur but it is there, its intensity oscillating constantly. Sometimes I long to scream at him to get a different job, to give up his fascination with muggles and their contraptions. But I never do because I fear that then he will listen. I fear this even more than I fear the possibility that my cries will go dismissed by him.
He really would give up a job he loves for me as he knows of everything I have given up for him and it will break his soul. I ask myself, do I want to lose one of the few things we still have; his spirit? And for what? To force him to try to attain a promotion he will probably never receive?
I still love him and after 25 years I will not leave him. Besides, with Bill and Charlie helping out our situation has improved. But if you asked me that question, the one that I ask myself as I lie next to him at night I would say no. No, I would not do it all again if given the chance. I hate to see my children's faces sad as they long for things other children take for granted, I hate the stares I receive when looking through a ratty discount bin full of goods I don't even want to touch, but most of all I hate the looks of pity that are dealt out in spades once they gain comprehension of who I am.
I have long given up on myself, everything is for them. I hold hope that Ginny and Ron and even George and Fred, with their disappointing OWLs will have good futures. I don't talk to Percy anymore but I know he will find his way, I just hope that it's in the right. I hope they don't grow up to experience the same silent frustration and resentment that have constituted my suffering for the last 25 years; that their smiles for their children will be genuine more often than mine were.
.
A/N: I guess I was feeling depressed when I wrote this, but I think it's true, that she is sometimes resentful of things. Anyways, please leave a review and have a happy Easter break.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Weasley family, I think J. K. Rowling does though
I don't think anyone realises it at the time but when you are in school your life is cocooned in cotton. I've never been good with analogies but, for me, that is the best way to explain it. When you're in school your future is open before you, there will be no bumps along the road and love is enough.
How wrong could I have been? Love? LOVE? I can tell you one thing, sometimes love just doesn't cut it. When you're trying to find second hand clothing for a squalling child that seems to be the only light in your life it can be the last thing on your mind.
So when I met and fell in love with a boy who was more interested in muggle studies than quidditch, who didn't have any background to speak of except his pureblood heritage it didn't impact on me how hard my life would be if I chose him. Even when my father threatened to withdraw my inheritance I didn't acquiesce. "Love is enough," I said, "Love will be enough."
I have never aired my feelings in front of the children, and seldom do I admit my frustration to Arthur but it is there, its intensity oscillating constantly. Sometimes I long to scream at him to get a different job, to give up his fascination with muggles and their contraptions. But I never do because I fear that then he will listen. I fear this even more than I fear the possibility that my cries will go dismissed by him.
He really would give up a job he loves for me as he knows of everything I have given up for him and it will break his soul. I ask myself, do I want to lose one of the few things we still have; his spirit? And for what? To force him to try to attain a promotion he will probably never receive?
I still love him and after 25 years I will not leave him. Besides, with Bill and Charlie helping out our situation has improved. But if you asked me that question, the one that I ask myself as I lie next to him at night I would say no. No, I would not do it all again if given the chance. I hate to see my children's faces sad as they long for things other children take for granted, I hate the stares I receive when looking through a ratty discount bin full of goods I don't even want to touch, but most of all I hate the looks of pity that are dealt out in spades once they gain comprehension of who I am.
I have long given up on myself, everything is for them. I hold hope that Ginny and Ron and even George and Fred, with their disappointing OWLs will have good futures. I don't talk to Percy anymore but I know he will find his way, I just hope that it's in the right. I hope they don't grow up to experience the same silent frustration and resentment that have constituted my suffering for the last 25 years; that their smiles for their children will be genuine more often than mine were.
.
A/N: I guess I was feeling depressed when I wrote this, but I think it's true, that she is sometimes resentful of things. Anyways, please leave a review and have a happy Easter break.
Disclaimer: I don't own the Weasley family, I think J. K. Rowling does though