Disclaimer: All characters are property of ABC/Disney. I'm just, uhm, borrowing them for a bit.
A/N: Much thanks to Toni and MissDevon for helping me mold the beginning into something that I could work with. Enjoy! Until next time-ya'll are the best-PCGirl.
Natalie stood there staring at the papers in her hands—a new life, a new start. Everything from the past week had been crazy—one minute she was in London trying to be happy with the life she had, and then she received the e-mail from her Uncle Todd with a picture of John kissing Sam McCall.
She wondered if he was trying to get her to crumble—to fall into some deep abyss that was impossible to pull herself out of it. And she wanted to—but she needed a clear head so she'd come to the ranch in Texas to figure out what to do next. How to confront John about this and then find the strength to be able to walk away from him.
The day she was headed back to Llanview the flight she was supposed to be on from London, the one that everyone except immediate family thought she was on, crashed. There were no survivors, and somehow she was showing having checked her luggage and boarded the flight. Watching her picture on the news, them talking about the Buchanan heiress being one of those on the plane was surreal.
That's when she had this idea—to let John think she and Liam had died and start over, just have a do over on life and see what happened. Hearing her name she turned and saw Jessica walking into the room, "Hey."
"Hey," she said as she took her twins hands in hers and held them. "Are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you want him to think you've died?"
"Yeah—I mean, we were already over anyways," she said as she pulled her hands back and wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes.
"But this is extreme—I mean, dead—really? It was a kiss—and you haven't even gotten his side of the story yet."
"If he was really sorry don't you think he would have traveled across the ocean and told me immediately about it, Jess? He didn't—he was acting like everything was fine. Why? So I could come home and then him tell me he's in love with someone else now?"
"You don't know that."
"I know I've had feelings for him for eight years. And I'm sure he can say the same, but there's always something more important than us or his family. So I'm giving him an out."
"It's a hell of an out," she said with a laugh.
"You open an e-mail from your estranged uncle and find out that your boyfriend is hiding a huge secret as you are thousands of miles away," she said, not finishing the sentence the way she wanted to—raising his child as a single parent.
"He's not the only one holding a secret, Natalie," said Jessica as she looked down at her sister's stomach.
"Maybe it is better he never knew—unless you are going to tell him," she said with a raised eye brow.
"No—it's not my place, or any of the family. We are just glad to know you are alive and don't have to truly mourn you," she said as she pulled her sister into a hug. "I don't think either of our parent's hearts could have taken losing you," she whispered and felt tears starting to appear. Stepping back she wiped them away, "Do you know where you are going yet?"
"No—and I think I kinda like it that way," she said, wiping away tears that had started again. "But when I land there—and get settled you can visit me whenever you want—maybe even move there." Seeing Rex at the door she smiled, "I think the plane is ready—I love you, Jess."
"I love you too, Natalie," she said with one last hug and then walked off to join her siblings and parents to plan a funeral that was for someone very much alive.
Natalie sat in the corner of the bar watching the scene playing out before her, her hair dyed brunette and cut short, a baseball cap covering her face. The dye would fade away and the hair would grow back, but until the news of the crash had died down she knew she had to keep a low profile.
She had stayed out of Llanview during the funeral—but had heard how John had been doing. He spoke very little to her family before the funeral—nothing during and as soon as it was done had packed up what he had and left town.
So after a talk with Roxy late one night she'd decided to see how he was truly doing—as her adoptive mother had said—no one can read Johnny like you Natty. And that was the truth—so she'd sat there watching him drink in a corner alone. She'd thought about just ending this whole thing here—telling him the truth, until he made a phone call and Sam McCall rushed in a few minutes later like a lost puppy.
She'd seen Starr walk in and over to the bar, but she kept turning her head to watch the two sitting there quietly. She wondered how long until the fireworks began when she saw her cousin finally get up the courage and walk over there and knew the answer to her question.
"Are you proud of yourself, John? Does it feel good to know if you'd just stayed in Llanview Natalie would never have felt the need to London? That my aunt and cousins wouldn't be mourning her and that sweet sweet boy. Of course your track record with women is pretty crappy-they either go crazy or die. Except for my mom, thank God."
"I think that's enough," said Sam as she stood up and toe to toe with a Starr. Natalie had to grin—if the woman only knew what happens when you go head to head against a Cramer. She'd been ready to take on Kelly as long as it took—but as for Blair's spawn, that was a whole different kind of animal she wouldn't want to cross.
"And you," she said, pushing at Sam. "If you had kept your lips to yourself—"
"Excuse me?"
"I saw the picture—that night on the docks—the kiss you two shared. You should be ashamed of yourself," she said, now looking at John. "You and I had the same thing John—a soul mate and a beautiful child to raise together. For a few months you had it all and I had nothing. But now we're in the same boat again—at least I know I was faithful to Cole while he was alive. Can you say the same?" she asked and walked out.
Natalie noticed John had not said a word this whole time, but saw him hang his head down and stare into his drink. Looking at the door that her cousin had walked out of she felt bad for him for a few moments and then looking back saw Sam had sat back down next to him—way too close for her own comfort. Watching her take his hand and him hold it back was all she could take.
She'd made the right decision—a new life for her and her children. Whatever John did with his life from now on was none of her business and she'd make sure to drive that fact home with Roxy and anyone else that brought up his name.
Five Years Later
Natalie sat in the seat on the BE jet and looked out the window. She remembered landing at this air strip years before—with John, trying to stop her Uncle Todd from being executed. Actually it was her Uncle Victor but no one actually knew that at the time.
It was safer to land here instead of the main airport—a short drive to Llanview and then home to Llanfair. She had her disguise packed in the diaper bag—a dark brunette wig and baseball cap. Not much, but then it was just in case she was stopped at a red light next to someone who recognized her.
Looking at the seats across from her she saw Liam start to stir and then open those blue eyes to look over at her, "Hey buddy—we're almost there. Come sit by me," she said, patting the empty seat on one side of her. As he came over and snuggled against her she closed her eyes—it wasn't something she tried to think of often, but she still counted her blessings that she and Liam hadn't been on that flight from London all those years ago.
"Mama?" he said quietly.
"Yeah babe?"
"I miss Dad."
She sighed and held him tighter, "I do too. Maybe when we get home in a few weeks we can play a video with him on it."
"Ok, but it's not the same."
"No, it's not," she said, kissing his head, and then seeing the steward come over.
"Mrs Hennessy—we're going to be landing shortly—you should get the children ready."
"Thanks," she said as she undid her seatbelt and scooted Liam over to his seat. Leaning down she pushed the dark brown hair out of her other sleeping son and kissed his forehead. "Connor—sweetie—it's time to wake up. We're almost there."
As she watched his eyes open she smiled—even though the color of them was her shade of blue instead of John's the shape was his. Hearing movement behind her she turned and smiled, "Why am I not surprised you knew to wake up just now?" she said as she pulled the small bundle out and held her. When the beginning of a cry started she calmly stroked her back, "It's ok Alaina—we're almost home."