A/N: Writers block and a lack of inspiration/motivation seem to have hit all at once. I have to admit I am not entirely happy with this one.
Let me know what you think, reviews are greatly appreciated!
Disclaimer: Warren Leight screwed with the characters, Dick Wolf still owns them...I got nothing.
Truth or Dare:
They both sit on the couch not really paying attention to the movie playing. This had become their ritual since Olivia returned from Oregon three months ago. On either Friday or Saturday night they would have take out, alcohol and a crappy movie.
Tonight it was The Marine. Elliot had picked it up on his way over to Olivia's apartment earlier that night.
He remembers the Sennet case, he and Liv had finally verbally acknowledged that their partnership as on the brink of disintegration. As they had walked to the diner they had passed a movie theatre and The Marine was playing. He had picked out the movie because of that memory.
Elliot looks over at Olivia. She is sitting with her legs curled up underneath her, with her elbow on the arm of the couch propping up her head.
The movie is shit. A wrestler playing an ex marine, blah blah kidnapping, blah blah explosions. Elliot swears her eyes have glazed over. Although, he thinks, that could be the 2 bottles of wine they have just about finished off.
"Truth or dare, Liv?" He says to her.
"Hmm?" She murmurs, her eyes not leaving the television.
"Well the movie is crap" He says as he refills their glasses with the wine he had bought, knowing it was her favourite. He hands her the glass and picks up his own.
"So let's play a game. Truth or dare?"
Olivia takes a sip of the wine that he has handed her. She looks at him and turns her body to face him, leaning back into the arm of the couch she sits cross legged and lets out a sigh.
"Fine, truth." She says.
Elliot smiles. He figures this might be a way for them to both open up a little bit. It might help to repair their partnership a little and maybe help get their friendship back on track too.
"Why did you start drinking tea?" He asks.
Olivia looks at him and smiles slightly. She had already figured out that some of his questions would be about her time in Oregon. They hadn't really discussed it since she returned; in fact they hadn't really talked about anything at all.
"Um, it just happened I guess. The group I was living with didn't drink it. They didn't have anything like coffee, soft drink etc, said it was polluting our bodies. They had a lot of herbal teas so I was stuck drinking that. It has become more of a habit now, plus it is supposed to be better for you than coffee." Olivia answers.
"Your turn, truth or dare?"
Elliot doesn't hesitate, "Truth."
Olivia thinks for a second. She had seen his temporary partner when she had gone to see Cragen. Part of her wanted to know how close they had gotten, but another part of her was scared to ask.
"How was your partner while I was gone?" She does genuinely want to know how Dani had functioned in the unit. Oliva has also noticed that Elliot's eyes have darkened somewhat. Maybe this was a bad idea, she thinks to herself.
Elliot shifts around on the couch, suddenly uncomfortable. It buys him a little extra time but he knows he suggested the game so she will make sure he answers.
"She wasn't you." His voice is barely above a whisper. Elliot clears his throat and takes a big drink, almost finishing the wine in one go.
"She was brash," He continues, "Very abrupt at first. Dani didn't know how to handle the victims; she had come in from Warrants so it was a very unfamiliar environment for her. She was getting better though. Its hard for someone knew, you and I both know how difficult it is to work there. We also know why the standard tour is 3 years, tops. Look at Cassidy; he could only stick it out for 6 months before he transferred. I liked working with her, Liv. She wasn't as jaded as the rest of us are. She really thought she could make a difference. She had a spark."
Olivia didn't want to look at him. She busied herself by refilling her glass. The bottle was now empty.
Elliot knew he had upset her. He got up and went to the fridge, retrieving another bottle. Neither of them were on call the next day so they could drink themselves into oblivion if they wished.
He puts the open bottle on the coffee table after he tops up his glass. Elliot sits back down on the couch, a little closer to Olivia this time.
"Your turn, truth or dare." He says.
Olivia answers him with truth but still doesn't look over at him.
"How did things become so complicated between us, Liv?" He knows he is taking this into dangerous territory but right now he doesn't care. The alcohol has given him the courage to bring this to a head.
Olivia finally looks over at him, she can see the pain in his eyes and wonders if it mirrors her own. She looks down at her wine glass, suddenly fascinated by the pattern etched into it, the different hues the wine creates as she swirls it around the glass.
How does she answer this? It is a question she has asked herself so many times before. She had even told him things were complicated when she moved to Computer Crimes, but did either of them fully understand what it means. Can she pinpoint the exact moment in time she fell in love with her partner?
"El," her voice is quiet. She draws out his name trying to stall.
He watches as she runs her fingers through her now long wavy hair. He loves it this length and finds himself wondering how it would feel to run his own hands through it. Would it feel soft and silky? He loves how it sits around her shoulders and how it falls over her cheek slightly when she has her head down. He has found himself watching her more often when they are at their desks. He likes to ask her questions just so she will lift her head & brush away the locks that have fallen. She looks absolutely beautiful, he thinks.
"A lot of things changed between us, El, and so quickly." She finally says.
"I thought everything was good between us, yes we had argued a bit more than normal but then that day in Cragen's office when I found out you and Kathy were separated. It wasn't even you who told me, Elliot, it was that fucking skeevy lawyer who was trying to help her own case. Everything between us suddenly shifted."
Olivia is willing the tears not to fall. The last year or so has been a total bitch for them both. She knows they need to talk, they have for a long time, but she isn't sure how much to say right now.
"Then you got shot and God, you went from being separated to getting a divorce. Another thing you didn't tell me until you were forced to."
"Liv," He tries to interrupt.
"Don't you dare, Elliot. You wanted the truth so you can just sit there and listen for a change." She spits at him.
"You kept so much from me; it felt like we were falling apart. Did you think I didn't see you going on call outs with Fin more often? I'm not blind, Elliot. You were avoiding me."
She takes a drink; she needs it to even think about the next case. The case that tore them both in two and had caused her to run for the first time. It was still affecting them to this day.
"Then we got the Gitano case. We were already on thin ice before he came along; he just caused enough of a crack for us to fall through."
She pauses; Elliot isn't looking at her anymore. He is facing the television but his back is hunched forward and his arms resting on his knees. Olivia watches him nod his head in agreement at her words.
"He worked out what our vulnerability was before we even did, I think." Elliot whispers.
"Yeah he did. We both fucked up on that case. In that warehouse, El, I was so scared I was gonna lose you. I thought he was going to kill you. I couldn't take that shot, El, I could never do it. It's the same as the train station, we put each other first. I still have nightmares; I had them in Oregon too. I still keep thinking, what if the sniper hadn't shown up? It hurts so much. So to answer you, Elliot, things have been complicated between us for a hell of a long time but I think that was the day that I actually realised it."
They sat in silence for a long time. The only sound is the explosions and shitty dialogue coming from the movie that is still playing.
"Truth or dare?" She whispers to him.
"Truth, Liv" He says to her, he may as well keep it going he thinks.
She sighs; this night is going further than she had expected it to. A stupid kid's game is making them face the issues that had pushed her to run. First to Computer Crimes, then to Oregon. What has she got to lose now, she thinks. Their partnership is already in the toilet, so she should just ask him, get it over with now.
"Elliot, you need to look at me when I ask you this."
He turns to face her and she takes a deep breath before asking,
"When did you realise I had fallen in love with you?" Her voice is small, almost vulnerable. Olivia makes sure she is holding eye contact when she utters the sentence. She needs to see his reaction. To know if her instincts are correct and that he knows exactly how she feels about him.
She catches the look of recognition in his eyes. At least she hasn't made a complete dick of herself. He knows she loves him but obviously they have both chosen to ignore it. Even after he had run to her at the station when Gitano sliced her neck with the knife, even after the confrontation in the warehouse, after everything they had been through together, they still ignored it.
"I don't know, Liv. Sometimes I think I have always known. We just kept getting closer and closer over the years. I guess I thought I was reading too much into it, seeing things that weren't really there. That night you came to the house and we talked, I told you that the difference between you and the victims is that you could walk away. Do you remember that, Liv?"
She just nods her head; she can't find her voice to actually answer him.
"You told me you couldn't. I think I realised then. You couldn't walk away from the victims, and you wouldn't walk away from me. The way you looked at me I could see it then. From that point on, I knew." He tells her.
Olivia drops her head. She had been in love with him then. She had been in love with him a long time before that too, but that sentence she had uttered that night had been her way of telling him. All this time she didn't think he had understood her meaning, but he knew her too well.
"Liv, truth or dare?" His voice sounds different again, lower somehow.
She reaches for her glass and drains it now.
"Dare" She replies looking right at him.
Elliot figures it was coming, one of them had to pick that choice eventually. Earlier in the evening it would probably have been something a little more light-hearted but now after the truths they had spilled he knows what he is going to say. He just isn't sure of what her reaction will be. He has wanted to do it for years if he is honest with himself.
"I dare you to let me kiss you, Liv."
Olivia looks at him, shocked. Her moth is open slightly, her lips are moving but no words are coming out.
"Liv, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." Elliot says, his words jumbling together a bit. He rubs his palms on his legs, a nervous habit that he has and that Olivia knows all about.
"It was a stupid thing to ask, I took it too…"
Before he can finish Olivia has moved herself closer to him and presses her lips against his, softly.
They stay together like that for a few moments before Olivia pulls herself away. She runs her hands through her hair and just watches Elliot.
They are both breathing heavy, contemplating their next movements. Olivia watches his tongue quickly dart out of his mouth and lick his lips. She is about to say something when he descends on her.
His hand wraps around the back of her neck pulling her into him. He nips at her top lip before placing a small kiss to soothe it.
Olivia runs her hands to the top of his shoulders before hooking them around his neck. She slides her tongue across his bottom lip, trying to coax his mouth open to let her inside, but she knows he will be a stubborn son of a bitch. He wants to be the dominant one; she will open her mouth to him and not the other way around.
Elliot moves his other hand over her ribs and she moans against his mouth giving his tongue entrance to her, he slides his tongue inside, running it along hers.
He moves his arms around her waist and pulls Olivia into his lap. Her hands move to his face, cupping his cheeks, willing him to deepen the kiss, he obliges her.
God, she has wanted this for so long. Fuck the rules, fuck protocol; she has wanted to feel his body against hers for as long as she can remember. The have never been ones for physical contact. The closest they had really come was when in their earlier years they would act out crime scenes together.
They broke apart and are forehead to forehead. Elliot wraps his arms around her back and pulls her flush against him. Olivia moves her head to his shoulder and kisses him through his t shirt. He places small kisses to the exposed skin on her neck. She moans against his shoulder.
"El, what are we doing?" Olivia asks, sounding breathless.
"I don't know, but I like it Liv. I want more, I want you, Olivia. I have for a long time." He answers.
She pulls back; there is a frown on her face. Elliot is confused, he knows that she feels the same, she told him.
"I'm not going to be a one night stand." She says pushing herself off his lap.
Elliot stops her before she can stand.
"You really think this would be a one time thing, Liv? Really? This would never just be about sex." His voice is raised slightly as he pulls her back down onto his lap.
"This would never be just a fuck. Do you think I would risk our partnership, our friendship just to get into your pants for one night?"
"El," She hesitates for a second, "I don't want to screw things up. We have been walking on egg shells around each other since I got back. What if this just fucks everything up?"
He pulls her close and just holds her. She snakes her arms around his back and rests her head against his shoulder. They just stay like this, no talking, only the sound of their breathing. The movie has finished now, the screen is black and the room bathed in silence.
"We won't fuck this up, Liv. You and me, I know it is a cliché but we are bound together. You've had my back for 8 years. You've seen me at my best and at my worst and you're still here." Elliot whispers in her ear.
He needs her to understand how much she means to him. He needs her to understand that she is his all. She needs to know that when she left he couldn't function without her.
"I don't want to be with anyone else but you, Olivia. Being apart drove me crazy. I spend the whole week looking forward to these movie nights now. I get so pissed off if we catch a case late Friday afternoon because then I know this isn't gonna happen. As much as I love working with you, I love this. Just us, no interruptions. I spend more time watching you than I do the fucking movie." He tells her.
Elliot moves his head and puts his hand on her chin gently moving her so she was facing him once again.
"Ask me what we watched last week and I couldn't tell you the name. What I can tell you is that it made you laugh. I watched as your nose crinkled up as you tried to hold it in. I could see your shoulders shaking and knew that you wouldn't last long. I watched your eyes sparkle as you finally let it out, whatever scene you were watching made you laugh, really laugh." He smiles at the memory.
"I remember seeing a look of sadness in your eyes when I had to go home and I bet you saw the same look in mine because I didn't want to leave. I didn't want to go home to that empty apartment." Elliot caresses her cheek; he just wants to keep looking into those beautiful eyes of hers.
"Olivia when I am with you, I am home. I know things have been tense between us but that morning that Cragen told me you were back, I didn't feel alone anymore."
Olivia wants to answer him; she wants to tell him how much she missed him when she was away. In the end she does the only thing she can think of that will convey it all to him. She kisses him slowly, passionately, letting this tell Elliot all the things that they have left unspoken.
She grinds her hips against him as she moves her hands under his t-shirt, desperate to feel his bare skin. She can feel him hardening and pushing into her abdomen. Elliot kisses her back hard, before he breaks off and trails little butterfly kisses down her jaw to her neck gently nipping the skin.
Olivia quickly moves her hands and pulls the hem of his shirt till it is over his head and on her floor. She does the same thing with hers, not watching as it lands directly on top of his.
"Liv, are you sure about his? I don't want you to regret it; I don't want you to regret me." He is almost pleading with her.
Olivia just smiles as she unhooks her bra and lets it fall away. She then reaches for Elliot's hands and drags them up over her stomach to her breasts, there she lets her own hands fall away.
"I would never regret you, Elliot, ever" Olivia whispers to him as she once again seeks out his mouth with her own.
She can't get enough of him, the way his tongue slides along her lips before entering her mouth. The way his hands feel on her body. The small groans he makes as they kiss. The hardness she can feel as she grinds against his lap. The friction is unbelievable.
He gently traces the outline of her breasts, watching her nipples pucker up and goose bumps form over her body. Using his thumb and forefinger he pinches her nipples, pulling slightly. Olivia flings her head back and before she can stop herself, she lets out a loud moan. His hands are like fucking heaven.
"Bedroom, Liv. I don't wanna do this on the couch." He tells her quickly.
She gets off his lap and looks at the bulge in his jeans. Licking her lips she takes his hand and leads him to her bedroom.
Once inside she works on the button and zipper of his jeans, easing them over his hips and sliding them to the floor for him to step out of. Elliot stands there in front of her in just a pair of boxer shorts.
Olivia runs her hands along his arms, working her way to his chest, aching to feel his muscles. She steps closer to him and kisses his neck, making a path down his chest settling on one of his nipples which she sucks and bites.
"God, Liv. That feels so fucking good." He murmurs.
Olivia looks at him, his eyes are half closed and she can see his chest heaving as he tries to breathe normally. His hands reach for the buttons on her pants; one by one he pops them. His hands slide inside, cupping her arse, squeezing hard. He moves his hands and pulls her pants down her legs and she flicks them off.
He smiles at her, they are both standing face to face in just underwear. He pulls her close again and kisses her as he hooks his fingers around the waistband of her panties and slides them down her long beautiful legs. He lets his hands run back up and brushes his fingers against her bare mound.
She moans as he teases her, she knew he would tease her. His fingers trace the wetness that is coating her inner thigh. She bucks into him, trying to persuade him to move where she needs it.
He lets out a little laugh and slides his finger up her hot wet slit, flicking her clit. Olivia grabs the waist of his boxers and yanks them down. She wants to feel him now. If he is gonna tease then she can do the same fucking thing.
She cups him in her hand, slowly tracing its length. Oh he is big, she smiles to herself. She falls to her knees and comes face to face with his cock. She licks the underside of it, making her way up to the head and takes him into her mouth.
He bucks slightly into her as she sucks on his cock. Elliot moves her hair to the side so he can watch. Olivia grabs his arse and pulls him closer; she caresses his balls squeezing them.
"Liv, Liv baby, you gotta stop. I'm gonna cum." He tries to tell her.
Olivia shakes her head and grabs his arse harder, she chuckles slightly and Elliot feels the vibrations hit his cock and that's all it takes. He groans as he lets himself go and shoots deep into her mouth. Olivia takes it, she takes all of him. She slows down her movements and lets his cock slip out of her mouth. Elliot pulls her up to him and kisses her hard, tasting himself on her tongue.
They move towards her bed, never breaking contact. She could kiss this man forever, she thinks. The back of her legs hit the bed frame and she falls down onto it, Elliot landing on top of her.
Olivia wraps her legs around his waist, pushing herself against his body. He just sits up, hooks his hands around her waist and pushes her up the bed until she hits the headboard. Elliot comes back down and kisses her neck; he suckles on it hard, knowing she will have a mark there in the morning.
He makes a trail down to her breasts, taking one nipple in his mouth, swirling it around his tongue, the other he pinches between his fingers. Olivia arches into him again, groaning loudly. He continues to make his way down her chest, past her stomach and reaches her hot wet pussy.
Without warning he pushes one finger deep inside her and attacks her clit with his mouth.
"Fuck, El." Olivia grabs the fists the blanket underneath her as Elliot continues his ministrations.
He continues to pump his finger inside her, hooking it slightly to hit the rough patch of flesh he knows will bring her to the brink. He licks her slit, working his way back up to her clit which he flicks with his tongue and then sucks into his mouth.
Olivia grabs his head with one hand and pushes him closer. She smells so sweet; he can't get enough of her. He slips another finger inside her, making a scissor like movement to help ease her open. She feels so tight and he doesn't want to hurt her.
"El, keep going I'm almost there, God, don't stop." She pleads with him. She bucks her hips against his face again.
He removes his fingers, and she whimpers at the loss. She looks down at him, wondering what he is up to, but he just smiles at her as he licks her slit down to her hot little hole and pushes his tongue inside her as deep as he can. He separates her folds and lifts the little hood hiding her clit and with his thumb applies direct pressure as he thrusts his tongue in and out of her.
Olivia has never felt anything like it, she can feel the muscles in her abdomen starting to tense up. He uses his head to push her legs even wider and fuck she things her thighs are gonna cramp up any second now.
He can feel her inner walls starting to contract and tighten up against his tongue, and he changes tactics slightly. He stops rubbing her clit and moves to rub his thumb down her folds, just to the side. He feels a gush of wetness hit his mouth and knows it was the right move. He begins a circular motion with his thumb and forefinger now on either side of her clit, never touching directly, just letting the pressure build up more and more.
"Oh, God, El please keep going, don't stop. I'm gonna cum, fuck, fuck, El." Olivia lets out a long hard moan as her orgasm overtakes her body. She keeps bucking her hips into him, meeting his tongue for each stroke. "Jesus Christ, Elliot, I'm cumming!"
He slows down his movements before pulling away fully when she jumps slightly as his finger brushes her clit; he knows she will be sensitive.
He makes his way back up to where she lays and kisses her softly. She smiles at him, rubbing her hand against his cheek.
"Hi" she says breathlessly and then laughs. "I never ever thought I would actually be shouting out your name like that, always in my fantasies but never in real life."
"Oh, so you've fantasised about this before have you? I want details now, Detective Benson." He growls.
"You're gonna have to wait until the next time we play truth or dare, El. Right now I want you to make love to me." Olivia says as she slips her arms around his neck gently pulls him so he is now on top of her.
They kiss as his hands move down her body to her breasts; he loves the feel of them against the rough skin of his palms.
"Olivia, you are so beautiful." Elliot whispers to her.
He nudges her legs open and settles himself between them. He looks at her, wanting permission, just hoping that she hasn't changed her mind.
Oliva reaches down between them and strokes her hand along his cock and lines him up against her. He enters her, slowly. The both moan at the contact. He pushes into her, God she feels so tight. Elliot watches her, looking for any sign that he is hurting. He slows his movements as she winces.
"Are you ok, Liv" He asks her.
Olivia nods, "Just a little bit tender. Don't stop, El."
He thrusts deep inside her, circling his hips, grinding into her. She sighs and looks down to watch hm pushing inside her. She raises her hips meeting his thrusts with vigour.
"Fuck, Liv. You are so tight, feels so fucking good." He tells her, pushing inside her hard to prove his point.
He can feel her hot inner walls gripping him as he pushes his length inside her. He knows she is close; he needs her to cum first. He seeks out her little nub and slowly rubs with two fingers, in time with his actions.
"Elliot, El, fuck, I'm so close, fuck me. Please Elliot, fuck me, make me cum now." She pants.
He increases his speed and feels her explode around his cock; her walls are pulsating, bringing him to the brink as well. He thrusts one last time and spurts his seed deep inside her.
They shout each others names loudly as they cum together. Elliot collapses on top of her, kissing her shoulder up to her neck. Their breathing is starting to even out as they come down from their high.
"Shit, El. That was amazing." Olivia tells him, still trying to catch her breath.
Elliot laughs into her shoulder. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this, Liv."
They lay together, neither of them wanting to be the one to move. Elliot is still inside of her and he doesn't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Oliva runs her hand through his short cropped hair, kissing his earlobe.
"What do we do now, El?" She sounds a little bit scared.
Elliot shifts himself so he is above her; he looks into Olivia's eyes. He can see it, she is scared, but he can see something else. Its not regret, no she doesn't regret this and he is so glad. What he can see is love, it's the same look in her eyes that night she came to his house and he wants to wake up and look into her eyes to see that every day of his life.
"I don't know, Liv" He answers her honestly. "All I know is I love you and I never want to let you go." He tells her as he begins to rock into her, feeling his cock harden inside her.
"I love you too, El. Whatever happens, we can handle it. I'm sure we can." Olivia murmurs.
They start to move together as one. From the early days of their partnership they had moved in sync. They had been able to anticipate each others next move.
The balance had shifted when they refused to confront the changes in their feelings but right now, in this moment their equilibrium had returned. Their bodies were once again moving in sync but not as partners this time, they were lovers. They knew that there are going to be a lot of hurdles to face, both professionally and personally but they are Benson and Stabler, and they can handle anything that comes their way.