LORD OF HARRY BOB MONTANA AND THE MUSICAL GIRL AT TWILIGHT IN THE CLIQUE OF THE CARRIBEAN CHOCOLATE FACTORY WITH GREAT AND TERRIBLE DRAGONS 101 + ANYTHING ELSE WE WANT TO ADD.
I know it's a mouthful but its totally worth it. This fanfic contains extreme stupidity. Viewer discretion is advised.
PS I don't own anything.
Once upon a time, in a town called Forks, Bella Swan and Edward Cullen were about to be married.
"Hello, Edward, my vampire love. I love you. YAY for me!"
"Hello, little clutzy Bella. Can I ask you a question?" said Edward.
"Sure.
What?"
"How did you survive through sixteen years without me?
I mean every chapter, you fall down the stairs or something
incredibly stupid that would kill you if I was not around."
"I don't know, and that's not the point of the story."
Continuing on……
Jacob Black was sitting on a rock at the beach in La Push, being all depressed because the 'love of his life' had left him.
"Boo hoo. Life sucks. Bella is going to die. I hate life."
Suddenly, he sees a man in tattered robes walking to him from the beach. He doesn't like this guy, he immediately decides. Or the three kids behind him.
"Okay, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, I don't know how we got here, but we must find a wizard to help us."
So Jacob walks up to the old man and turns into a wolf to scare him. Suddenly the old man smiles and shouts, "OMG! You're a werewolf too!? Yes! I finally belong!!"
Jacob is confused, but he doesn't say anything because he is still a wolf, and wolves cannot talk.
Suddenly, the Volturi come out from the woods, all wearing black cloaks. They all have red eyes. They are very scary. And beautiful. There are five of them.
Back in Forks, Edward can feel their minds.
"Bella! Stay here and don't die! I have to go protect everyone from the Volturi!" So he runs away all nobly.
"Wait! I want to fight and get myself killed! Wait for me!" So she follows him because she is insanely stupid at this point.
Edward runs to the Volturi and tries to figure out who they are. There is Aro, Caius, Marcus, Jane, and….
"Hey! Tom Riddle! Long time no see!" he shouts to the fifth figure. Voldemort and Edward used to go to school together. Until everyone figured out Edward wasn't a wizard.
"You so did not just call me Tom Riddle!" says Tom Riddle (aka Voldemort). "Avada Kedavra!"
At this point, Bella decides to show up. "Nooooooo! Edward! I will save you!!" The green light hits her and Bella is no more.
"Bella you &# idiot! I can't die!" screamed Edward. Meanwhile, the Volturi have gotten hungry and they started eating Mike Newton.
Edward bites Bella just in case, and carries her back to her house, where Jake and Charlie and Harry Potter and…. Nate? are waiting.
Hahaha I know, extremely pointless and not very well written. But you had to laugh at least once, right? My friends and I made this up at lunch one day and we had to write it down. Anyways, we're continuing no matter what, so deal with it! Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha! (Think of it this way…. You're bound to discover at least one new book to read with all of the characters we're putting in here. We already included three!) Peace out, 3/3.