New Beginnings
Never will I see the sun again
Never will I see the sun again
Where were you Monday?
Where were you Monday?
I was not missing, I was dead
Birds of Tokyo, An Ode To Death
Ever since she had regained consciousness to the backing track of gunfire, screams and explosions, Shepard had been reacting from one stimuli to the next. A hacked security mech levelled a weapon at her, and she'd reacted by riddling its metallic body with pistol shots. In a way, it had been a good thing - stopping to actually think about things would have gotten her killed. Again.
Following the departure from the Lazarus facility and her face to hologram meeting with the Illusive Man, Shepard had found herself on the ground at the isolated human colony of Freedom's Progress. Isolated and seemingly abandoned. Except for more hacked mechs. That hadn't worried Shepard much - as long as she kept reacting to outside stimuli, she wouldn't have to think about things. Not thinking made things easier, simpler. Sooner or later you'll have to face up to what happened and deal with it a matter of fact voice told her from inside her own head.
"Yes, I suppose I'll have to," she had said aloud, drawing looks from Lawson and Taylor. Shepard ignored them, focusing instead on locating the quarian named Veetor. That had been a hell of a thing - her old friend Tali'Zorah showing up here of all places. Williams might have said it was all part of God's plan, which made Shepard wonder where the Reapers fit into this plan. Shepard squeezed her eyes shut and gave the Cerberus operatives their orders. Afterwards, Shepard couldn't remember exactly what those orders had been. Decided it didn't matter.
Outside stimulus
Reaction
Outside stimulus
Reaction
Then, another face to hologram with the Illusive Man.
"Shepard," he began, drawing on a thin cigarette. The cigarette flared as he pulled the smoke into his lungs, the light briefly illuminating the lower half of his face. "Good work on Freedom's Progress."
"Those things will kill you, you know," Shepard said matter of factly, arms crossed over her chest.
The head of Cerberus regarded Shepard for a moment, eyes cold and somehow lifeless. He carried on speaking as though she hadn't said anything. "Our methods differ but I can't argue with the results," he stated, referring to Shepard's decision to allow Veetor to return to the quarian Flotilla with Tali.
"You should try making nice with people," the former Spectre answered, "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar."
The Illusive Man removed the cigarette from his lips, tapped it into an ashtray. "Perhaps. But it's difficult to be diplomatic when people already view you as a threat."
Shepard smiled humourlessly. "And whose fault is that?"
The head of Cerberus stared into and through the hologram of Shepard. "Our ultimate goal is the preservation of humanity. No matter the cost. We have never backed away from that, Shepard."
The holographic image of Shepard waved this explanation away as though shooing flies. The Illusive Man sipped from a glass of liquor. "I don't expect you to agree with our methods, Commander. I do expect you to work with us to end the threat posed by the Collectors. I'm sure that even you can see that they are a far greater threat than Cerberus."
"The enemy of my enemy is my friend?" Shepard asked, arching an eyebrow. "Fine. You give me intel and goals to accomplish...but I accomplish them my way."
The Illusive Man nodded, exhaled smoke. The glowing ember at the end of the cigarette danced like a firefly. "I'll forward to you a number of dossiers. You'll need a crew of specialists to help you against the Collectors. Get to work recruiting them. In the meantime I'll continue to monitor our colonies. We may be able to stop the Collectors from abducting any more colonists."
Shepard nodded, "Anything else?" she asked of the Cerberus head.
"Two things," he stated. "First, travel to Omega and locate Dr Mordin Solus. He's a brilliant salarian geneticist and he may be able to find a way to counter the seeker swarms." The Illusive Man paused, bringing the cigarette to his lips again.
"And?" Shepard prodded.
"I've found a pilot for you, one of the best," The Illusive Man smiled and there was something predatory about it. The holographic image flickered and died as he cut the connection; Shepard found herself looking at a bare wall. She turned at the sound of somebody walking towards her and her eyes widened with shock. A smile of genuine happiness spread across her scarred face.
"Surprise," Joker said as he limped towards her.
Still smiling, Shepard answered, "My God. If I weren't so worried about breaking your spine I'd hug you."
The former Alliance helmsman stepped closer to Shepard, "I think I can take a hug, Commander. Just one, though. I'd hate for you to come over all mushy." Tentatively Shepard wrapped her arms around Joker and briefly rested her cheek on his shoulder. After a few seconds the two pulled away from each other.
Joker fell into step beside Shepard and led her deeper into the Cerberus installation.
"I still can't believe it's you," Shepard said.
Joker laughed, "Are you kidding? I saw you get spaced!"
"So you're with Cerberus now?" Shepard asked, stating the obvious but somehow unable to believe it.
"After you left, everything changed. The crew was broken up, the Alliance tried to cover up what had happened and I was grounded." Joker turned to face Shepard, and there was an intensity in his eyes that she had never seen before, "They took away the one thing that meant anything to me. Hell yeah, I joined Cerberus."
Joker and Shepard stopped at a long observation window that gave a view of a docking platform outside the station. "There's something else, as well," Joker went on, not bothering to hide the smile on his face, "They only told me about it last night."
One by one, floodlights lit up, illuminating the vessel docked outside. Shepard gasped as she took in the familiar profile of the frigate, felt the skin on her forearms form into goosebumps. Though the craft looked to be at least twice the size of the original, there was no doubting what it was. What she was.
"It's good to be home, huh, Commander?" Joker said.
---
The interior of the SR2 Normandy was as large as the outer hull suggested. Everything felt 'roomier' - there would be no more near-collisions as crew passed by each other during the course of their duties. Or so Shepard hoped. She walked behind Lawson and Taylor in kind of daze, only vaguely aware of what Lawson was saying as the Cerberus operative led the trio through the airlock and into the CIC. A smile seemed to have permanently welded itself to the Commander's face and she finally felt truly alive for the first time since waking up.
The Cerberus crewmen seated at their stations straightened their backs perceptibly as Shepard passed by, as though eager to impress their new boss. As Lawson droned on about locating Mordin Solus, Shepard's gaze roamed the combat deck, her eyes alight with unalloyed joy.
As Commander Shepard spoke with Operatives Lawson and Taylor at the far end of the CIC, Yeoman Kelly Chambers studied the interplay between the man and two women. An avid people watcher, Kelly was adept at reading others, and knew when they were under too much pressure, knew when to offer support and be there for them. Perhaps more importantly, she knew when to back off and give people the space they needed to work on problems in their own time.
For the moment at least, things appeared to be civil between the former Alliance officer and the two Cerberus operatives. Kelly saw no potential for any kind of personality clash between Operative Taylor and Commander Shepard - though loyal to Cerberus, Jacob was first and foremost a soldier and Kelly did not believe he would attempt to override Shepard's authority. Operative Lawson on the other hand...Miranda was a fiercely independent and strong-willed woman. As was Shepard. Kelly suspected that the two women would either become grudging allies if not outright friends or would grow to resent one another's presence.
Though, if the Commander wanted to make a point of establishing her authority over Miranda, Kelly felt that now would be the best time, in front of the crew. So far, at least, Shepard was making no such attempt.
As Shepard nodded in agreement with whatever Miranda was telling her - Kelly was too far away to hear clearly - a rather pleasant-looking smile played constantly across the Commander's face. Kelly's view of the smile was momentarily obscured as Shepard ran a hand over the side of her face, fingertips lingering briefly over the facial scars. I wonder if they bother her?
Kelly returned her attention to the transcript displayed on the monitor before her. The transcript had been obtained by Cerberus and detailed a counselling session between then-Second Lieutenant Shepard and an Alliance-approved psychologist, Andrew Baker.
Andrew Baker: How are you feeling today, Lieutenant?
2nd Lt Shepard: I put one foot in front of the other. These days, that's the only way I know how to get through things...that's how I made it back to the LZ at Akuze anyhow. One foot in front of the other.
Kelly wondered how Shepard had dealt with it - bearing witness to the death of every Marine under her command. However she had accomplished it, it had worked and Kelly felt a deep admiration for the Commander almost bordering on awe. As the discussion among Shepard and the Cerberus operatives concluded, Kelly closed the file. The Commander took her leave of Jacob and Miranda and headed in Kelly's direction
Kelly's mouth suddenly went dry and she felt her pulse quicken. She was about to meet the woman who had not only stopped Saren but had prevented the wholesale slaughter of all life in the galaxy. This close, Kelly's new CO seemed taller and fine lines were visible around the corners of her mouth. Laugh lines. The Cerberus-compiled profile pointed to a somewhat dark sense of humour. Kelly hoped she could make the Commander laugh. Kelly stood at attention and snapped off a parade ground salute. "Welcome aboard the Normandy, Commander. I'm your Yeoman, Kelly Chambers."
Shepard returned the salute. "Nice to meet you, Ms Chambers."
"Please, call me Kelly."
Shepard shrugged slightly as though telling herself What the hell. "Okay, Kelly." Kelly felt the warm glow of happiness spread throughout her. "So," Shepard said, "What do they have you doing?"
All business now, Kelly outlined her duties, "I keep you informed of any new messages on your private terminal and manage your appointments."
The Commander tilted her head to one side, fingers of her right hand again brushing over the scarring. "Seems like the kind of thing a VI could handle," Shepard paused and smiled again, "Not that I don't appreciate dealing with an actual person...those VIs irritate the hell out of me sometimes."
Kelly nodded, "That is only my official role. Unofficially I keep an eye on the crew, I listen. I have a degree in psychology and can tell when a person is overly taxed, it works best in an informal setting." Shepard's face seemed to close and Kelly immediately regretted mentioning the psychology. Could be those counselling sessions left the Commander with a dim view of such things.
Shepard sighed, "Look, Kelly. You seem very nice but I've had my share of counselling. That being said, I do think having a trained counsellor on the crew will be helpful when things start going to hell." Kelly held her ground as the Commander leaned in towards her, close enough that Kelly could see the individual pores in Shepard's skin. Kelly also noticed that the scars appeared to possess an orange glow. Shepard went on, her voice low, "And things will go to hell. Better the crew talk to you than try to self-medicate with drugs from the medbay." Shepard pulled away.
Kelly swallowed. Whether she knew it or not, Shepard possessed an almost palpable aura, something that made people follow her because they wanted to, not because they were ordered to. Shepard clasped her hands behind her back, "How do you feel to be assigned to the Normandy?"
"Nervous, exhilarated," Kelly paused before confessing, "Terrified."
Shepard nodded, "Good," she said flatly. "I'd have doubts about your sanity if you weren't scared."
Kelly nodded. "I trust you implicitly, Commander. I feel as though I could fall and you'd be there to catch me." Kelly saw the look that passed across Shepard's face, a look that seemed to say, What did she just say?
Shepard rocked back on her heels. "I know I've been out of the world for the last couple of years but are you flirting with me, Chambers?"
Kelly's gaze cut to the left as she replied, "I'm sorry if I was too forward just then."
"It's just that I'm not used to people doing that five minutes after I meet for the first time," Shepard clarified.
Kelly smiled, green eyes seeming to twinkle. "It's actually closer to three minutes, Commander."
Shepard laughed. "A member of Cerberus who hasn't had a sense of humour bypass. Ah, Chambers...I'm starting to like you already. I'm off to take a tour of the ship."
Kelly nodded as the Commander made for the armory. Even as she left, Shepard was still chuckling to herself, "Three minutes," she said, smiling.