It had been hour when I jumped of that cliff. I still had my eyes closed but could hear a voice softly apologizing. What was he apologizing for I thought, was I dead, I probably was I jumped off a cliff in a storm I thought by myself. I opened my eyes slowly. The room was dark but I could see everything so clearly. Every fiber and little detail. Then I spotted a person sitting next to me on a chair holding my hand. He looked at me with a mix of emotions on his face, I could see worry, shame, a little bit of fear and relief. He had stopped whispering when I had opened my eyes. Where am I was the first thing that came to my mind and at the same moment I heard a strange high voice asking it, it took me a while until I realized that it was my own voice. The man must have seen the confused expression on my face as a little smile moved the corner of his mouth. Am I dead, is this heaven. No you're not dead he spoke with a light voice I have changed you. Changed I asked what do you mean I wanted to sit up and before I had finished the thought in my head I was already sitting. I need to begin by the beginning he started. I now looked curiously looked at his beautiful face, he had light blond hair and these amazing amber colored eyes. I found you when you're where wheeled into the morgue, you were so beaten up and bloody that they hadn't even looked for a pulse, but I heard it and decided I couldn't let you die he sighed. I took you to my home and I bit you his fingers lifted of my hand and he gently stroked over the mark that now was placed on my neck. What does that mean I asked trying to get everything in order in my head but I couldn't it was like my mind went all over the place. You are now a vampire he said not meeting my eye but staring at his hands resting in his lap. I am a what I stuttered that can't be and before I knew it I was across the room. How did I? You are a vampire now he explained you are much faster and stronger than a human would ever be. My name is he started but time I cut off his sentence I know who you are I blurted out you are the doctor who treated me for a broken leg ten years ago. He looked bewildered by this statement you remember he asked. Of course I remember, it is hard to forget a face like yours and I quickly hid my face a bit ashamed of what I just had said you are Dr Cullen. Carlisle he said when he slowly rose to his feet I indeed treated you for a broken leg all those years ago. He came closer why do you still remember me he asked with slight amusement or was it pride. Ever since you treated me your face came wondering in my dreams, I always wondered what had become of you, if your where happy with you wife and children again I turned away with embarrassment apparently everything that popped in my head I said out loud sorry I am not really in control of my mind and speech right now. He looked up at me with a look of understanding I know he said it's because you are a newborn you senses are multiplied by hundreds and it is overwhelming, you will get used to all of it but you will have to learn how to control yourself. I looked into his beautiful eyes. Now it is time to address another problem tough and he took my hand you probably need to hunt, you need blood. This was the first time I felt the burning sensation in my throat and without realizing it my hand grabbed one of the doorposts, immediately I heard a crunching noise and felt the splinters of the wood sliding across my fingers. I looked at it with bewilderment. You will have to get used to your new strength it will probably take some time and you will break more than you would wish but it will happen he said he calmly took my hand and pried my fist open until the remainder of the wooden frame fell to the floor. It was the first time I had looked around me in the room, all I had seen was the beautiful Carlisle sitting beside the bed I had laid on. The details were amazing I could see every fiber of the room every little crack or particle. The room was nicely furnished. A bed stood in the middle of the room and a closed stood beside it filled with clothes. In the back against a window that looked out over the woods behind the house stood a red couch with a table in front of it. Carlisle had stood silently beside me when I had taken in the room looking with slight amazement at my face but then he gingerly pulled my hand making me focus back in him again. You will need to hunt he said softly. Again I felt the burning in the back of my throat and I realized he was right. I followed him through the house apparently there were three floors, we walked down a flight of stairs into a hall though the front door. Out in the forest surrounding the house Carlisle started running with a tuck on my hand and I followed. We were going faster than I could have possibly imaged. We flew across threes, bushes over a river until we stopped. I wanted to keep running it was a wonderful feeling of freedom. But Carlisle made me focus again. Focus Esme he said it was the first time he had spoken my name and I was surprised he still remembered it in fact I forgot the burning sensation in my throat as I looked up at him how do you still remember my name? He looked surprised I rarely forget things he answered I sometimes thought of you he said how you were doing, what happened to you. You did I said I was bewildered how could the man who had been in my dreams all these years be the one who had saved my life. Why did you actually safe me I looked up again he looked puzzled. I couldn't let you die he answered truthfully with a flash of regret on his face. Do you regret it I instantly asked walking away looking around me, we were standing underneath a big pine three in the shade it must be in the afternoon judging by the sun, I keep seeing a sort of regret in your eyes. I heard him sight it's not that I regret saving your life he said but I hate doing what I did to you, I took away your life of better said your death. You saved my life I stated so why should I resent you for it again I looked into his eyes and even from a slight distance I had to remember not to let myself drown in them. I made you a vampire he said you will stay like this for ever, you can't contact your family and you will have to live in the darkness it is a curse in many ways. I have said goodbye to my family long ago I said and I felt a burning sensation in my stomach that had nothing to do with the burning in my throat, like my body wanted to cry but couldn't. he walked over to me and took my hand again Esme I must wonder how are you keeping your senses so under control. What do you mean I asked we were running an it felt so good I actually wanted to keep going but you stopped and I got curious when you remembered me is that wrong I asked looking worried there must be something wrong with me I thought even when I am no longer human it was Carlisle hand that got me back in the present he chuckled. There is nothing wrong with you I am just amazed by your control, normally when a new vampire is created their emotions and behavior is all over the place they are driven by their longing for blood, but here you are standing beside me when a group of deer is walking a couple of miles to the west he said with amazement in his voice I just never met a newborn with such control he gave a pinch in my hand. I still looked a bit puzzled but now the thirst was becoming worse now I noticed fresh blood so near me, I swallowed but it didn't help. He nodded understandingly and we took off again. When we came closer I released Carlisle's hand I heart the pulsating of a heart it was close, my strides were getting longer but I was as silent, after a minute a pounced and felt a pair of antlers rip the dress that I was wearing but I didn't care I didn't take me much strength to take down the deer and my hands went through the fur and then I felt what I was looking for the pulsing of a heart and without hesitation I sank my teeth into its neck. Immediately a felt the burning subside as the blood went through my throat. It felt wonderful but as soon as I had killed the deer it was quickly out of blood but now I noticed Carlisle standing not far away from me with another deer in his hands. Here he said it didn't take long before I drained my second deer. Now I came to my senses again and looked at my hands, my skin color was lighter than it had been, even now it was covered in blood. I crossed my legs underneath my body and looked up to Carlisle how did I just do that I am not that strong I said. Yes you are he nodded while he tossed the deer into a hole he had just dug. I stood up and looked at him his clothes were still unscathed while mine were hanging loosely of my body exposing more than I had realized but for a stupid reason it didn't care anymore I didn't have to be decent the only two people standing in the clearing were Carlisle and me. The cold didn't bother me either I felt the wind blow across my arms but it was like the temperature didn't affect me anymore. You won't be cold anymore Carlisle answered my unspoken question as I had rubbed my hand over my now cold skin as if I wanted to warm myself our kind is hardly affected by anything he had closed the hole and slowly walked over to me and handed the sweater he was wearing here you have ripped your dress, careful though with your strength you may rip it. I carefully took it and pulled it over my head as if it was made of the thinnest fabric. I managed to pull it over my head with making just one hole in the fabric. And when I met Carlisle eye again he had the same look of amazement on his face as before you already have so much control over yourself he murmured. I smiled pleased of hearing the approval in his voice. He stretched his hand out to help me up and I took it without hesitation. We should be going back to the house if you want you want to clean up though he said looking over the torn pieces of clothing that were laying across the clearing we stood in. I shrugged it off, I rather hear more about your live if that is ok with you I said not meeting his eyes when we started to move again this time walking. He nodded what is it what you wanted to know he said while we turned left walking down a little stream running across the forest. Where were you born I asked. London I lived there with my father a pastor, my mother died during childbirth. I squeezed his hand with compassion, he went on, my father was sort of a witch hunter and I was his only son, I helped him but he was an impulsive man seeing ghosts everywhere his eyes lost in time seeing things I couldn't see. He expected me to help him, but when I didn't see the things he saw he got angry with me. But after a while I found a group of vampires that were living in the sewers and I took a mob to destroy them at night trying to draw them out, they were probably hungry so the scent of the blood alone was enough to draw them out and one bit me but he didn't kill me. Knowing that my father would kill everything that the vampires had touched I crawled into a shed and lay there for three days in complete silence he tensed up a bit and trying to help him calm again I rubbed my thumb across his hand he went on and I listened in awe. I quickly realized what I had become and tried to kill myself a small smile came over his face of course I didn't succeed at this, I decided I would starve myself so I went into the forest away from possible humans, but after weeks of not having blood my will started to faint and then I came across a herd of deer and before I knew what I was doing a was drinking the blood of the animal closed to me, and my strength came back he smiled again and I knew there was another way of living without being a monster he finished a story. Carlisle you can never be a monster I said stopping in my tracks and pulled his hand so he would face me. He was surprised with my statement but looked pleased. How old are you actually I asked it sounds like you have travelled the world for a long time. He nodded I have I have been born in 1640 and was changed in 1663. I quickly counted the years in my head, in my human life, math hadn't been something I was really could at. But it seemed my vampire mind had no problem with it at all as I said 265 with a smile on my face. He nodded again. You never went back to your father I asked curiously while looking into his eyes. I looked at him from a distance a few times but never contacted him he answered truthfully. Must have been hard I exclaimed never having said goodbye. He sighted my father and I were never really eye to eye and since I had no extended family it wasn't very hard to move on with my new life he shrugged but Esme there is one question I like to ask you and his eyes changed a little, how is it that the young vibrant girl I met in the ER ten years ago come to commit suicide? I momentarily closed my eyes and when he saw the expression on my face he immediately said if you don't want to answer it I don't have to know. But for some reason I needed him to know so with some effort I forced myself to meet his eyes which had filled with sorrow. I started walking again but kept one of Carlisle's hand in a tight grip I would need the support but couldn't tell my story when looking him in the eyes. Right after my leg was healed my parents wanted me to marry I started and when they introduced Charles the son of a banker he seemed a good fit for them, I didn't want to marry him I could talk to him at first but I realized we would never be anything more than friends I kicked a stone out of my way and was a bit surprised when it damaged a large three but kept my mind on the story I was telling. But to make my parents happy I would agree to marry him, maybe I would feel more for him later on if we were married. But Charles changed when we got married, he loved me I sighted but when he realized I could never love him back like he wanted me too he started to be aggressive with me. On our wedding day he was the perfect gentleman in front of all the people but that night was the first time he forced himself on me I felt the strange burning sensation again in my chest but kept going, he started doing it again and again violating me in every way there was I stuttered raising my hand when Carlisle wanted to say something, my parents and family didn't want to hear any of it so I started excepting that this would be my life from now on, but then he went in the army and got sent away I was so relieved I sighted when the memory rushed back to me this time it were my eyes that wondered to the past but my feet kept going forwards and Carlisle followed without hesitation understanding it was easier for me.
But he came back and at first I thought things had changed he was so sweet and caring and maybe I thought maybe this could work for me I had a week smile but when Charles realized I still couldn't say I love you back to him he became the most angry he ever had been my chest tightened with the tears that wound's come out I went to my family again but their opinion was that I just shoot have a child with him and that would settle everything. When I realized I got pregnant it was time for me to get out of this situation I just coudn;t bring my baby in a world with a father like that so with the help of a friend I got out of time and went into hiding. But Charles found me after a while so I fled again I sighted and Carlisle squeezed my hand trying to comfort me and this gave the strength to finish my story. I lived in a nice little town where I would teach some children I was alone but happy with the baby coming soon. When my son Edward was born I was delighted with him, he was why I lived my reason why I kept going. I stopped dead in my tracks a the foggy memories pushed through the service and the pain rushed over me after a week he started coughing and the doctor came he said it was probably an ammonia and two hours after that my little boy died, it was that moment I decided that I could not go one anymore, I had left my family, lived in a town full of strangers and now I lost my baby I realized I was gripping Carlisle's hand pretty hard so I released the tension a bit not letting go entirely I walked over to that cliff and thought of my son and then I just jumped I ended my story and before I realized it Carlisle pulled me into a hug, I tensed up but not for long as I for the first time felt the comfort of a friend and I buried my head in his chest breathing in his scent.
We just stood there for a while as it was getting darker around us but we didn't matter I could see everything just as clear as if we were standing in the daylight. And after a few more moments he released me and looked into my eyes his hands still on my waist. Esme he said I am so sorry if I would have known that the sparkly girl I met was being abused I would have rescues you. Carlisle I said you don't have to be sorry for any of it how would you have known it were the worst years of my life but now thanks to you I don't ever have to think about it again I smiled weakly maybe but I smiled thank you for listening to my story I needed to hear it out loud for me to put it all together in some way. He returned my smile this time as he whispered always and pulled me toward the house maybe you want to take a shower now. I hadn't realized we were standing at the edge of the forest close to the house we had left so many hours ago apparently my feet had remembered the way. He opened the door and walked upstairs into a large bathroom and turned on the water if you want to take your clothes of you can put them in the hallway I will clean them up for you he said while handing me a towel. It was the first time I realized that I still was wearing the torn clothes with dried blood on it as the sweater Carlisle had given me was now also stained. I don't have any clothes for woman but if you're ok with it I could go to town and get you come he turned to me. Sure I said pulling the sweater over my head slowly not to rip it to pieces. Carlisle smiled at me and turned around to turn the water of again as he walked out of the bathroom if you finish early you can grab a shirt out of my closed in the bedroom he said while walking down the stairs I will be back soon. I thanked him again not even raising my voice I knew he would hear me. I quickly pulled of the bloody clothes I was wearing and tossed them in the hallway as Carlisle had said and stepped into the hot water in the bathtub relaxing a bit. The temperature of the water didn't seem to have any effect on my skin just as the temperature outside hadn't have an effect on me. I looked around me, the bathroom was large for just one person, it had white tiles across the walls and every now and then a little blue tile would be placed in a random pattern my eyes focused on the blue cabinet with a mirror on it and I realized I hadn't seen myself since I had woken up again my hand moved over my face and I didn't feel any bumbs or bruises nor could I find any on my body. I slipped under water to make sure my hair would be cleaned also and I realized I wasn't breathing. I could lay here under water for hours without having my lungs protest for the lack of oxygen. I stayed this way for ten more minutes before I pulled myself out of the bathtub and carefully taking the towel to rap itself around me. Although my best efforts I ripped the first one but it seemed Carlisle had thought of it as there lay a spare one ready, this time I succeeded and walked over to the cabinet to look at myself into the mirror. I gasped as I saw my reflection, part of me hadn't thought I would see one as I was a vampire now but those worries had quickly subsided. I stared at my face for a minute, my eyes were bright red and my skin was just as white as Carlisle's was, my hair was slightly darker because it was still wet but I could see it would fall round my face perfectly. I realized I needed a bigger mirror and I pushed open the door of the bathroom and started walking through the house. I didn't take long before I found the bedroom and as I walked in I spotted a long mirror on the closet. When I stood in front of it I dropped my towel which was wrapped around my body and starred at my reflection in amazement. In my human life I had no curves and my breast were almost nonexistent a fact Charles had complained about a lot the last months before I had left him but pregnancy had done my body good, I had curves now and my breast were bigger now, I didn't have any bruises and the scars that had been on my stomach were gone, as was the scar on my leg which Carlisle had mended. The only mark left on my body now seemed to be the place where Carlisle had bit me. I gently moved my hands across my body and saw the woman in the reflection doing the same this was really my I thought in surprise. But then I remembered that Carlisle would be coming back soon and it would be weird if I was standing in his bedroom, naked before a mirror so I returned back to reality and focused on finding some clothes. It didn't take me long to find a t-shirt that would fit and I gently put them on pleased that I didn't rip it. The shirt was big enough to cover me and I returned back to the bathroom and grabbed the panties I had saved and put them back on. I was curious how the rest of the house looked so I walked downstairs into a little hall.
At the left I could see there was a kitchen, but I decided to walk into the living room at the other door. In the middle of the room stood a black leather couch with a table in front of it. Carlisle apparently had turned on some lights when he rushed out of the house as the chandelier above the table created a nice warm light through the room. I walked past the table toward a row of bookshelf's and I ran my fingers across the backs to see what titles there where. On the other side of the square room was a large window that looked out into the forest we had just left, there was a little reading nook created, were you would be able to see everything in the house and what happened outside. I wondered if this was the side of the predator inside Carlisle to be aware of your surroundings. I returned back to the bookshelf and carefully took out one of my favorite books I had spotted earlier and returned to the large window taking a seat, from this position I could easily see Carlisle coming.
It didn't take him long before my now upgraded hearing could pick up on the footsteps coming closer to the door and before he had opened it I could smell his scent. He walked into the house and his eyes immediately met mine. I stood up realizing I was still wearing only my underwear and a shirt and if I could I would have blushed but when he spoke my embarrassment subsided. I didn't really know what you would like so I took different things he said with a smile what you don't like I will return and he handed me a bag. Thank you Carlisle I said and before I knew it I had given him a kiss on his cheek. He looked surprised but didn't move. I had seen his the brief look of surprise, or was is something else when I had stood up and walked over to him. But he recovered quickly and said you can take the room to the left I will make sure you get some nice things in their he said. You don't have to do that Carlisle I said you already had to get me clothes. It is my pleasure he said waving it away I am the one that turned you, so I should also make sure you are comfortable. Well thank you Carlisle as I pinched his cheek and started walking up the stairs to the room he had mentioned. Upstairs I opened the back and pulled out the different clothes. I was a bit surprised to find clothes similar to the ones I had always had worn and it didn't take me long to pick out a blue dress with some lace on it, but not wanting to damage it because it did fit really well when I had looked into the mirror. The dress complemented my new body so well that I realized that if I didn't want to risk damaging it I needed some help. So I walked downstairs to find Carlisle reading the book I had placed upon the table moments before. Uhm Carlisle I stared a bit nervous for the stupid request I was about to make can you help me with this dress, I don't want to ruin it as it fits really well so if you just could zip me up and I turned around showing him my back. Naturally he said as he stood behind me in a second and I could feel his gentle fingers tracing my back before he pulled the zipper up. I liked how his fingers felt on my skin but didn't want to embarrass myself so I turned around. So Carlisle do tell me do we need to hide in coffins when the sun comes up or is that just a rumor. He face broke into a big smile as he chuckled. His whole face had lit up when he smiled and he looked the more dashing as he already did but his answer pulled me back to him no we don't sleep in coffins he in fact we don't sleep at all. Never I said while I took a seat on the couch so what do you do at night. Carlisle thought of taking the seat beside me but settled in the chair closed to it. I study or I hunt at night when I am not working he answered. My curiosity was sparked how did you become a doctor I asked thinking of all the blood involved. He smiled again when I was studying different subjects I found medicine and it interested me, instead of hurting people with my gifts I could cure them his seriousness returning, it took me years before I trusted myself to be anywhere near patients though but now I don't even notice the blood anymore and my sense of smell actually helps me make a diagnosis. I sighted I hope one day I get as good at controlling my thirst like that when remembering the blood of the deer my throat flared up at once but not as bad as it had done at the beginning. Well I had two centuries of practice he said understandingly but I was surprised with your control today he said. I didn't understand and when he saw the look of surprise on my face he explained. We were running remember and when I stopped you stopped and you just snapped out of the first while the blood you were craving was not far away he looked with curiosity in his face at me what was it that pulled you out of it. You I blurred out looking away embarrassed I had still some difficulty at controlling what came out of my mouth I thought it was your scent actually it was stronger than the blood so I focused on it I realized a moment later meeting his eyes again. Carlisle leaned back in his chair but not before I again saw a look of content shoot across his face. Why is it special I asked not understanding his interest in the subject. It's just said while pressing his fingertips together I never heard of a newborn who could do that, it's a hard thing to learn to control he explained when your new most vampires are led by their instinct alone, really impulsive controlled by their bloodlust. I felt a rush of pride run through my body and let him think as I could see he was running things through his mind, but after a few minutes I started getting a bit awkward and shifted in my seat to get back his attention to the present when that didn't work I cleared my throat and asked so are the garlic and the stakes also folklore or should I really worry about walking into a church. It did the trick as I pulled him back into the present. We don't need to eat he answered as he placed his hand in his laps again and the stake could never hurt us, it wound's damage the skin. Why are no bruises I asked while looking over my body again but still finding nothing. The venom that transformed you healed them all he said the only scar you have left is where I bit you he gestured with his hand to my neck where he had earlier touched me. Are there more vampires out there I asked looking a bit nervous. No not her most of our kind live a nomadic life he said and they usually feed on humans and he looked a bit worried meeting my eyes. Do they have to kill them I asked. Yes otherwise there would be a lot of vampires being born every day and besides did you feel the lust when you first tasted the blood I nodded and would you have been able to stop I shook my head as I realized it must be the same for many vampires. But how did you stop when you bit me I suddenly asked. I have been around blood for many years now but I had to say it took me a little more effort than I had expected he said. Sorry I made you go through that before I could stop myself I reached out for his hand and placed it over his he didn't pull away. He gave me a smile thrust me you were worth it he chuckled as we talked on for the rest of the night.