"I'm sorry Emily. But your condition is clearly making it impossible for you to perform." Emily shook her head; not accepting the doctor's words.
"It's PTSD, a lot of people who serve in the armed forces gets it. It's not interfering with my job. I took vows to serve and protect and I need to continue to do that Dr. Shepard." Dr. Shepard sighed, he started flipping through some pages in his clipboard and pulled out a photograph. He slid her the photograph of the little boy. Emily's demeanor changed drastically. She swallowed hard. " Get that out of my face."
"Why Emily?" Dr. Shepard asked, pushing the photo closer to Emily. "Is it because this photograph sparks some type of emotion within you? Is it because this is the photo of the little boy you killed?"
"I said get it away from me!" Emily took the photograph and ripped it to pieces. Throwing the remains of it at Dr. Shepard. The doctor pulled out a pop-gun and shot it in the air multiple times. The sound of the toy gun going off ripped through Emily's ears. The realistic sound made her mind flashback to the battlefield. The screams, the blood, the gunshots and the grenades going off...To Oba, the little boy she had shot accidentally. By this time Emily was on the floor of the Psychiatrist's office, curled into a ball sobbing to herself. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry." She whispered to herself over and over.
Dr. Shepard got out of his chair and bent down to Emily's level. He put his hand on her shoulder. "Shh," He tried easing her. "Emily you served this country for seven years. You climbed the ranks. You saved lives. You're a first lieutenant, and you always will be...But Emily, it's time for you to go home now. To your family. To your friends. You have to heal yourself now."
The flight home was rough. Emily was surrounded by her fellow soldiers, they were excited to go home, excited to see their families. Emily felt differently. Going home meant facing her friend's hugs and kisses, a homecoming party, being thanked for her service in her small town of Rosewood every time she went to buy groceries. In reality, the only thing Emily had been looking forward too was her pit bull, Pepsi. She had named him Pepsi because he would always sneak into her garage and tear open cans and bottles of Pepsi. Leaving a sticky mess for her to clean up each time. She loved the puppy regardless though. By now he was full grown, probably giving Hanna, her best friend, a hard time. She chuckled at the thought of the dog tackling the blonde whenever she would come home from work.
"Lieutenant Fields!" Emily snapped out of her daydream to see an old friend of hers.
Toby Cavanaugh. They enlisted in the Marines together eight years ago, but Toby had decided to become a seal. The last she had heard of him was about two years ago, he was being honored as a Chief Warrant Officer. An extremely high and honorable rank. She got up from her seat on the aircraft and hugged him tightly. "How have you been Toby?" She was extremely happy to see him, now at least she wouldn't have to be alone on the ride home.
"Amazing actually. The Navy has been good to me. I love serving, but I think that it's time for me to go home." They both sat down together and buckled their seat belts. Emily smiled at his words.
"How's the wife?" Emily had remembered the moment Toby proposed to Spencer. They were 18 and fresh out of high school. Spencer and Toby had both been Emily's best friends in high school. They were made for each other.
"Well, she's part of the reason I'm coming home for good." Toby pulled out his wallet and showed Emily a picture of a pregnant Spencer. Emily smiled widely and gripped his shoulder tightly. "She's eight months along." Emily was happy for him. He deserved it, he was a good man.
"Toby, that's awesome. Any idea what you're gonna name the little one?"
"Well, if it's a girl we're naming her Shannon. If it's a boy we're naming him Archer." Toby was visibly excited about the arrival of his kid. Seeing him happy almost made Emily forget about all the shit she'd been through in the last couple months. "What about you?" Emily looked confused so Toby clarified. "How are you and Sabrina?" Emily hadn't even thought about Sabrina. She sighed heavily.
"I'm not sure. I love her but we've been drifting apart. I wouldn't be surprised if she isn't there when I get home. She deserves better." Emily and Sabrina had been together for four years. Lately, every time she would come home from a tour things hadn't been the same with them. Sabrina wanted to go out, to cuddle, to have kids. All Emily could think about was when she would return to war. Emily loved the fighting, the feeling that she was doing something important. She knew she was saving lives every day, and that had become more important than Sabrina. Toby nodded sadly.
"I'm sure everything will be fine." Even Toby sounded unsure. She tried not to let it bother her too much.
The rest of their flight was filled with them catching up, sharing war stories, and making jokes. Just like the old days. It made the 10 hour flight time fly by. Emily had told Toby she was just going to Uber home, but Toby insisted she hitch a ride with him and Spencer. She agreed.
"Emily!" Spencer practically jumped into Emily's arms. Emily hugged the girl tightly. Even though Spencer was pregnant she still looked fairly small. "It's so good to see you, it's been forever."
"It hasn't it?" Emily smiled to herself. She missed Spencer. They would stay up all night together in high school studying and debate over petty things. The brunette hadn't changed very much. She was still as beautiful as ever. Spencer tried to pick up one of Emily's bags but Emily stopped her. "Hey, you've got precious cargo in there." Emily motioned to Spencer's stomach, "Let me handle those." Spencer chuckled at Emily, she had missed the girl as well. Although she wondered what had brought her back, she would only return on Christmas and Sabrina's birthday.
Eventually, the trio got into Spencer's SUV, they drove Emily to her house. "Em, we're having a homecoming party for Toby. You should drop by." Spencer yelled as Emily made her way to her door. Emily smiled at her.
"I'll think about it!" She shouted back.
"Don't think about it, Emily. Just come," Toby added before they drove off. Emily fished in her pockets for her key. She put it in the door and jiggled it until it opened. Emily had no idea what she would be walking in on. She took a deep breath to try and calm her anxiety. She had been a sniper and hand to hand combat officer for christ sakes. She forced herself to step inside the house. The oven was on. She could smell...cookies? Sabrina never baked. She set her bags on the hardwood floor. She walked into their bedroom. Sabrina was asleep. All that was visible was her blonde hair. Emily smiled, she couldn't help but be happy that Sabrina was still around. Emily jumped on the bed playfully.
"Agh!" An unidentified blonde yelled at Emily.
Emily backed off the bed quickly. She crawled into the corner of the room. She hugged her knees to her chest. Tears started coming out of her eyes. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry." She kept repeating to herself. The blonde got up from the bed cautiously. She looked at Emily and instantly recognized her. It was Emily, Sabrina's girlfriend. She approached Emily and bent down to her level. She wasn't exactly sure what to do in this situation.
"Hey," She whispered softly. She sat down next to Emily. "I'm sorry I scared you. I'm Alison, I'm renting out the house from your girlfriend Sabrina. She's on a business trip." Emily still wasn't calming down any. Emily was hyperventilating at this point. "Emily I think you're having an anxiety. I bet you're wondering where Pepsi is, Hanna just left to take him for a walk. He's cute right?" Emily nodded furiously. Her eyes were bloodshot already from the crying.
After a while, Emily stopped crying and sobbing. Now she was just in shock. Dr. Shepard had been right. She didn't need to be in combat. How was she supposed to help the country when she couldn't even help herself? "Sabrina is…" Emily couldn't even finish the sentence. He throat closed up. She didn't want to cry anymore.
"She's going to be back," Alison assured her. Alison got up, she extended a hand for Emily to take, the taller girl took it reluctantly. "My name is Alison. In case you were wondering." Emily smiled to herself.
"I'm sorry about that earlier. It's just…" Alison stopped her.
"Army stuff, I get it." Alison finished.
"Army? Try the Marines. We do the actual work." Emily teased. Alison rolled her eyes. They walked into the kitchen together. Alison put on the red hand mitts and opened the oven and took out her cookies and sat them on the stove to cool. "What kind are they?"
"Why don't you taste one and find out?" Emily reached out to the pan but Alison slapped her hand away. "Wash your hands!" Alison shouted playfully. Emily rolled her eyes and headed for the sink.
"I've known you for about an hour and you're already bossing me around." Emily chuckled, drying her hands off.
"It's probably the doctor in me," Alison confessed.
"You're a doctor?"
"Yes, I'm a pediatric surgeon." The blonde told her proudly.
"According to who? Grey's Anatomy?" Emily was a joker at heart, she couldn't really remember the last time she had cracked a joke. Alison pointed to her degree on the wall.
"Actually, according to my degree Stanford University." Emily immediately shut her mouth. Stanford? Must have been a smart chick. "Did you go to college?"
"Yeah, I did two years at Upenn, then I just went ahead and enlisted in the Marines." Emily wondered how different things would have been if she had decided to stay in college. Maybe Sabrina and she would be in a better place, in a happier place. Maybe they'd cuddle together at night until they fell asleep, and make pancakes together in the mornings.
"Nice! That's a pretty great school." Emily smiled at Alison's compliment. "You can have one now." Emily feigned excitement and took one of the white cookies. She took a bite. Emily pretended to be disgusted. "Do you not like them?" Alison asked sadly.
"These are so," Emily paused, trying to give the full effect. "Really fucking amazing. What are they?"
"These are cheesecake stuffed snickerdoodles." Emily nodded. Finishing the desert with just another bite. They were extremely good. Suddenly she heard the front door open, and then a collar jiggling, and then paws running towards her. Her all-white pitbull jumped up on her and made her fall to the ground.
The blue-eyed dog viciously and brutally attacked her with kisses and playful nibbles. "Pepsi! Wait for me!" Hanna yelled running after the dog. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of Emily rolling around with the dog. "Emmy!" She jumped on the floor with the canine and her best friend. Alison was amazed at the sight she saw.
Emily finally managed to get her dog and Hanna off of her. Her hair was now all over the place. "Well hello to both of you too," Emily said sarcastically. Hanna smacked her shoulder.
"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" Hanna's eyes wandered over to Alison. "Oh hey, Ali." Alison waved awkwardly.
"Slipped my mind I guess." Emily lied. The truth was that she didn't want anyone to know. She had wanted to be by herself and just rot. But obviously, now that wasn't an option. Now people would start asking her questions, and eventually, the truth would come out. Which she certainly didn't want. She didn't want people to know that she got kicked out the Marines because loud noises made her lose her shit. She didn't want to be seen as weak. Nonetheless, she was happy to see her friends again. She had missed them, and apparently, they felt the same way. Emily was snapped out of her thoughts when her phone rang.
Sabrina