Author's note: Legend of Zelda is owned by Nintendo. "Hardware Store" is owned by Weird Al Yankovic. Also, don't get upset at the 'list' part of the song, there just isn't enough items in the games to list!
Malo Mart
Buy it if you're smart
At the Malo Mart
Buy it if you're smart
At the Malo Mart
Everything happens way too fast in this town
Feeling low down as the prices are highly unsound
I thought that I couldn't afford anything again
Until a friend told me the news
He said "Hey, because of inflation's rising pace
The Castle Town Mart was bought by a kid with a weird face
And he's gonna open up a new store in the marketplace
And you won't even have to shine your shoes!"
Since then I've been walking on air
And I don't even own Hover Boots, but I don't care
I can probably go to the mart and buy myself a pair
With the rupees that I've earned
Now that this day has finally arrived
I'm so happy now just to be alive
I'm gonna spend my rupees on everything inside
Without the fear of being burned
I can't wait (no I), I can't wait (oh when),
When will they open so that I can start?
I am going, yes I'm going, I'm a going to the
Going to the mart, (I am going to the)
Mart, I am going, really going, I am going to the
Malo Mart!
Buy it if you're smart
At the Malo Mart
Buy it if you're smart
At the Malo Mart
I slept overnight right there on the road
In front of the mart, and when a Cucco crowed
I pressed my ear up to the door
I had to be the first one in
Hearing lots of musical chants
Listening to the manager's rants
Hope I can buy a decent pair of pants
I wonder if they have a bargain bin
A clerk with a phonograph spinning on his head
Flashing lights in purple, blue, green and red
Had to pinch myself to make sure I was not dead
This place is really great
And they're doing a promotion stunt
There's a great big purple sign out front
That says that have one set of magic armor
For the low price of five ninety-eight!
I can't wait (no I), I can't wait (oh when),
When will they open so that I can start?
I am going, yes I'm going, I'm a going to the
Going to the mart, (I am going to the)
Mart, I am going, really going, I am going to the
Malo Mart!
I am going, yes I'm going, I'm a going to the
Going to the mart, (I am going to the)
Mart, I am going, really going, I am going to the
Malo Mart!
…Wow, look at all that stuff…
There are green tunics, plastic sparrows, light bulbs, wheelbarrows,
Soup medleys, Chu jellies, fairy bows and fire arrows,
Muzzles designed for wolf fangs, mini swords to trim your bangs,
Hookshots, clawshots, and assorted boomerangs,
Bee larvae, Ouija boards, goat cheese and Ordon gourds,
Bandages for cuts, Deku nuts, and discounted wooden swords,
Hot spring water, fertile soil, whips for horses in a coil,
Red and blue potions, suntan lotions, shiny lanterns filled with oil,
Empty bottles firmly sealed, worms for fishing from Hyrule Field,
Assorted casks, happy masks, Deku, Ordon, or Hylian Shield,
Pocket Cucco, guitar strings, Hover Boots with little wings,
Iron Shoes, Bombchus, and the all-new Bomblings,
Keese repellant, paper wad, medicine that smells quite odd,
Sand spinner, paint thinner, a plastic fake Dominion Rod,
Deku seeds for a Deku farmer, thickly padded leg warmer,
And I'll try, of course, to buy that super awesome Magic Armor!
I can't wait (no I), I can't wait (oh when),
When will they open so that I can start?
I am going, yes I'm going, I'm a going to the
Going to the mart, (I am going to the)
Mart, I am going, really going, I am going to the
Malo Mart!
I am going, yes I'm going, I'm a going to the
Going to the mart, (I am going to the)
Mart, I am going, really going, I am going to the
Malo Mart!
I am going, yes I'm going, I'm a going to the
Going to the mart, (I am going to the)
Mart, I am going, really going, I am going to the
MA-ALO MART!