Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers or the song "Rasputin". They belong to their respectful owners.
A/N: This is a small one-shot about a random plot-bunny I had with this pairing.
NOTE: Man, another fic with song lyrics. If anyone has some serious problems with this story I WILL take it down, but I don't own the lyrics used in this fic.
~Enjoy!~
Sometimes, Russia deeply questioned his boyfriend's sanity.
Other times, it was practically impossible to carry out a normal conversation with the hyperactive nation.
And then, there were the few times when no matter what Russia thought about his quirks, America always managed to make him smile.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey..."
Russia heard the singing - if you could call it that - echoing over the constant sounds of the shower coming from the general vicinity of their main shared bathroom. The voice, unmistakably America's excited pitch, traveled through the thin walls and reached Ivan's notice so intriguingly that he couldn't concentrate on much else.
Namely, the stack of paperwork he needed to brief through and complete for some official business coming up in his country.
Ivan stopped fiddling with his scarf at the desk, chucked the pen he'd been attacking the first few forms with, stood up and made his way over to the bathroom.
He knocked a couple times, rapping the door lightly and then with greater force as there was no pause in the energetic singing or any indication that America had heard him at all.
Sigh... Why does Alfred insist on having such long showers, especially at this odd hour in the afternoon?
While Russia had spent his morning at an impromptu office computer conducting business with his boss overseas and some other government officials, and finally returning after lunch to get a head start on the aforementioned paperwork, America had chosen to sleep in, ignoring his own (slightly bigger) stack of paperwork and take a shower. As a bonus, Alfred had apparently decided to throw a karaoke party and "perform" whatever song he saw fit to sing in the shower.
"Amerika? Amerika!" Ivan called, trying to make himself heard over the increasing sound of the slightly off-key voice coming from behind the door.
Even at this close proximity Russia was unable to make out the words of whatever Alfred was singing. It was muffled through the constant thrum of water and America's other weird tendency to dance in the shower's small space. He heard the sound of feet tapping and thumping to the beat, and caught some snippets and snatches of the lyrics.
"... -land, and never mind ?-ar... wunderbar..." "Ra! Ra! Rasdfghmm-*mumbling*"
... What the heck was that?
Normally Russia's supernatural hearing was able to pick out at least a bit more of what's going on, but the distracting noises just confused him beyond the point of understanding Alfred's singing.
"Fredka! Fredka, can you even hear me?" Ivan called loudly through the door. He knew America absolutely hated being called "Fredka".
No answer.
Growing slightly frustrated at America's inability to hear him, Ivan seriously considered getting England to make him rise out of the floor again just to give his "songbird" boyfriend a fright.
... That wouldn't be considered "breaking and entering", would it?...
Swiftly rejecting that idea, Ivan gathered himself together and opened the door, just as Alfred got midway into the last chorus.
"Ra! Ra! Rasputin! Russia's second love machine! And so they shot him 'till he was deeaaa-GAAAHHHH!"
America, having just noticed Ivan's presence in the bathroom, jumped at the shock and almost slipped on the soap suds spiraling down the drain. He instinctively threw his arms around to cover himself, even though the shower had been on long enough to gather a thick coating of fog on the glass door.
Realizing it was Russia, Alfred turned off the showerhead and tried not to look embarrassed behind the glass. Steam swirled around the humid room.
"Alfred?" Russia asked quizzically.
"... Yeah?"
"I've been trying to work on my business forms for a while, but your singing makes it... rather difficult to fully concentrate on my work."
"Oh... Uh, sorry 'bout that." America answered from behind the fog.
"Thank you." Ivan turned to exit, but turned back and said instead, "Alfred?"
"Yeah?"
"... What on earth were you singing?"
America chuckled. A lone finger drew three lines in the steam, making a smiley face out of the foggy cover.
"The song's called "Rasputin". It's by Boney M, I think..."
What?
"You mean that Rasputin?" Ivan asked, rather confused and skeptical.
A few droplets of water dripped from the tips of Alfred's soggy hair. He thought for a moment. "The guy who, I dunno, pretended to be a priest or something, cheated with the queen, and managed to, like, not die from some assassinators poisoning, shooting and drowning him?"
Wow. "... That's the one." Russia confirmed. "Someone made a song about him?"
"Yeah. It's really catchy too."
The smiley face had started to gather the steadily condensing water and a mutated "tear" trickled from one of the eyes, along with a few running down from the mouth.
"How does the chorus go?" Ivan asked, curious how this band had even came up with the idea for the song anyway. Must have been an older band...
America rubbed away the smiley face with his hand and cleared a spot big enough for most of his head to be seen. He grinned.
"Uh... lemme get dressed and you can listen to it, 'kay?"
Russia nodded. He turned to leave again, but Alfred called back indignantly, "What, no good-morning kiss? He comically pressed his lips against the cleared spot of the glass.
Ivan rolled his eyes and smiled, bending down slightly to his boyfriend's face and lightly kissed the glass where their lips met.
Chuckling softly as he turned and closed the bathroom door, Russia strode back to his desk, spun the chair around, promptly ignoring the paperwork and instead opening his personal laptop to search up "Boney M Rasputin English lyrics".
He clicked the first link to a complete set of lyrics and started to read.
"There lived a certain man in Russia long ago
He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow..."
Heh. Russia remembered meeting Grigori Rasputin in person, (wasn't that ever a long time ago) and so far the description was just a little bit off from what he recalled...
"Most people looked at him with terror and with fear
But to Moscow chicks, he was such a lovely dear..."
Ah, right. He remembered that now... The escapades, definitely. Russia supposed he could chalk up the simplification of the period to the American band's artistic license, but it felt a bit surreal to him listening to a song about something that had taken place only a little less than a full century ago.
"He could preach the bible like a preacher, full of ecstasy and fire
But he also was the kind of teacher, women would desire"
It was hard to imagine what made him so popular, but it almost seemed like the whole country was divided at the time on whether to love or hate the man.
"Ra! Ra! Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone...
Ra! Ra! Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on..."
Huh. That looked kind of catchy, as well as relatively interesting in a historical sense. Ivan had no idea what the "cat" was about or why it "really was gone", but he assumed it was just some slang words and another bit of artistic license going on.
Wait a minute... Didn't Alfred say something just a little different? It was in that "love-machine" bit-
"Hey, Ivan! 'M ready now- Alright, looks like you've already got the lyrics up!"
Russia jumped, startled. America stood casually over his shoulder, hand leaning on the desk and his blue eyes staring at Ivan's computer screen.
Alfred had already gotten out of the shower and changed into some shorts and a loose sports jersey of some obscure American team Ivan couldn't recall. His hair was roughly dried with uneven spikes in some places, along with his signature Nantucket curl still dripping water onto the floor.
"Here, I'll find a video for this." Alfred leaned over and took control of the laptop. America had obviously forgotten it was a Cyrillic keyboard.
(Russia kept an extra Latin keyboard for when he needed it in the USA, but after the flight from his home country Alfred had came and tackled him as his "welcome home" present and it had completely slipped his mind while unpacking.)
A few seconds later America realized he had absolutely no clue how to get to YouTube or anywhere on the Internet, and handed the laptop back to Russia.
Ivan found a video with English lyrics onscreen and opened up the link. The beginning instrumental started playing through the speakers, and America began to nod his head at the familiar tune.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey..."
So that was what the thumping was all about... Russia thought.
The opening verses began to play. The rhythm and rhymes of the song were actually pretty catchy, and to Russia's surprise he found his finger tapping quietly to the beat. Alfred had already started humming and bouncing along to the song.
By the time the chorus hit America started to sing along with the band. Ivan managed to catch all of Alfred's words this time:
"Ra! Ra! Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone...
Ra! Ra! Rasputin, Russia's second love machine It was a shame how he carried on..."
This continued all the way through the song.
Around the halfway point Russia realized his face had started making a stupid little grin as he watched his eccentric boyfriend dance along to the music. ("I got it off DDR!" America said indignantly.)
At the final parting words ("Oh, those Russians!") Ivan was feeling rather giddy about such an idiosyncratic song. But he had just one thing to ask...
"Amerika?"
Alfred stopped doing his "jazz-hands" motion and answered "Yeah?"
"Why do you not sing the right lyrics in the chorus? You say "second" whenever the band sings the line "Russia's greatest love-machine". Isn't that wrong?"
It was a moment before America comprehended the question. He flushed a bit, then seemed to switch gears entirely and smoothly asked, "Well, why do you think, Ivan?"
Russia thought a bit, ignoring Alfred's smooth-talk and prodded for a better answer. "I do not know why you would say that. You are not singing the right lyrics, and from what I heard in the shower you most likely never do. Why is that?"
To Ivan's surprise Alfred practically rolled his eyes at the question. Before he could react America grabbed the chair he was on and spun it around, letting the startled nation rotate a few times before slowing it down and leaning in closer with a large grin on his face.
"Do you think maybe, just maybe, that I disagree with that song? That Rasputin is only the second-greatest love-machine ever to exist in your country, and that I've actually found a better one?
Oh. Now it was Russia's turn to flush.
He decided to play along for a little while. "Is that so?" Ivan said rather coyly. "Well, I would most certainly like to meet this distinguished man, whoever he may be..." Russia tried not to grin.
Alfred was barely fazed at that, playfully retorting, "Well, I must indeed introduce you to him! No hard feelings, or anything..." he said with a smirk.
Ivan sized up his jovial opponent, and went for some intimidation. "Why, that would be... splendid." He injected some icy chill into his stare, rapidly closing the distance between him and the nation standing over him. "May I... persuade him of otherwise...?"
America almost burst out laughing at that. With one swooping motion he closed the gap between them and wrapped his larger boyfriend in a kiss, his still-wet blond hair dripping into Russia's.
"It's you, silly..." Alfred spoke softly into Ivan's ear.
"Me?" Russia pretended to sound surprised. "Why, I only have you! That makes me hardly a contender for such a title..."
Now Alfred did laugh at that. "It's not every Russian who manages to get the entire personification of the US of A into their bed, now isn't it? That surely beats out any competition there is!"
Russia grinned in spite of himself. He gave America a light squeeze, then managed to untangle himself from their limbs and ruffle Alfred's spiky hair before the other nation playfully pushed his hand away and stood up.
"Alright. What's for breakfast?" America asked excitedly. Ivan rolled his eyes. It was already mid-afternoon. "Whatever you can find in the fridge." He motioned towards the kitchen.
Alfred pretend-pouted. "You won't come to Mickey-D's with me?" he asked compellingly.
Ivan smirked. "Nothing you say will make me get a burger with you now. I need to work - and so do you." He indicated the stack of papers on his desk America had been ignoring.
"Oh, that?" Alfred shrugged it off. "It's mostly bit-part clarifications and legislative padding. I'll take it with me and finish it at the drive-thru." He picked up the stack and turned to open the front door.
"Back soon!" he waved before closing the door and getting into his car, honking twice before driving away.
Russia smiled. Rotating the seat to face his desk, he turned back to his laptop and his own stack of papers he needed to complete. Normally he didn't like music when he was trying to work, but this time...
He clicked "Play" on the video link again. As the opening instrumental began, he picked up the pen he had discarded and got back to work, tapping his foot every so often.
"Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey..."
~End~
A/N: So, yeah. Just a quick plot-bunny. If you haven't noticed, I like switching back and forth between their country and human names. I guess it could be OOC, but I've been playing that song non-stop to finish this fic. Thanks for reading! :)