. Adventures of the Pink Unicorn is dedicated to vixen-of-the-leaf who was the 25th reviewer, I think. They thought a pink Sasuke would be funny!
Warning: Sasuke bashing and an author on crack (Actually I'm just high on reviews…)
I don't own Naruto otherwise this would be in the Manga and not a fanfic.
Uchiha Sasuke scowled. There was a girl in front of him in his training spot. She was scowling at him heatedly. Her blue eyes flashed and her short, black hair fluttered in the breeze.
"Why are you here?" He asked her, a note of annoyance in his voice. She glared at him.
"I'm sorry, Chicken Ass. I've come from Alabasta." The boy looked confused.
"Um. Isn't that in a manga? Um. Like One Piece?" She scoffed.
"Yeah. I came here. I love this story!" He raised an eyebrow. "There's one flaw though." She continued thoughtfully. "Its that a certain person who looks like a cockatoo never had something weird happen to them…" A smile lit up her face. "Hey, Cockatoo Head. Ever wanted to be a Unicorn?" The Uchiha put on his best 'Uchiha Smirk'.
"I'm too cool to be a Unicorn."
"Ass." She muttered. "Stupid Chicken Butt." Her smile widened creepily. "Transformation Fruit!" She yelled. There was a flash of light. She stood over Sasuke and laughed.
"That'll teach you." She said and walked away. Stupid girl. Sasuke thought She thinks she could take down the mighty Sasuke. Never. He repeated this thought out loud and heard a loud snicker beside him.
"Chicken Ass Hair. You idiot. She got you alright. Look at your self." The speaker was a girl about his age next to him. Sasuke tried to push himself upright but his body wasn't acting normal. He glanced down. There was a PINK hoof attached to his arm and his arm was a horse's front leg. It was pink. At this moment the oh so mighty, Uchiha Sasuke let out an extremely girly scream.
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"How you doing?" The voice asked. Sasuke looked up at the speaker. She was wearing a Konoha forehead protector. She was wearing all black with a touch of red. She smirked at him.
"Neigh!" Replied Sasuke, then paused in horror. Had he just neighed? The girl started cracking up.
"Chicken Ass Hair's an idiot!" She sang. Sasuke frowned. He remembered her. Her name was Vixen. She was Jonin ranked. He glanced down at himself again. He froze in horror. He was a pink horse.
"It gets even better!" Vixen said in a sing-songy voice. She held up a mirror. Sasuke glanced into it. His worst nightmare had come true. He was now a pink Unicorn… Vixen started laughing so hard her eyes teared up.
"Look!" She pointed out. "You still look like a cockatoo!" Sure enough, Sasuke's signature hairstyle was still there. Only now it was from a mane of pink unicorn hair. Needless to say, it looked horrible.
"You get to be my pet!" She said. There were still tears of mirth dripping down her face. "I'm gonna make your life hell, Emo-spawn." Sasuke could only neigh in despair as she yanked on a collar she had made from her hand wraps.
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"Look at your new do!" Vixen said with enthusiasm. She smiled with fake cheerfulness at the terrified Sasuke. She held up the mirror again.
Sasuke started hyperventilating. She had put him into one of his normal outfits except she had changed it a little. The shirt was now sparkly. The shorts now had lace. The Uchiha symbol was now a smiley face.
The worst was what she had done to him. She had gotten a yard of pink cord and was using that as the leash. He was a small Unicorn so it worked. He was hot pink. Hot Pink. He had MAKEUP on him. He had circles around his eyes that rivaled those of Gaara. He turned a pleading face to her. He tried to look cute. He expected her to swoon over him like his fan girls. He was wrong. Vixen started laughing and pulled a camera out of nowhere. She snapped a picture. Sasuke pretended to die hoping that she would leave. She didn't.
Vixen poked him with her foot.
"Quit acting, Chicken Ass Hair. We're going out to show your teammates your new look." The look of horror on his face only made her laugh harder.
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"Ooh. You have a pet, Vixen!" A voice said from behind her. "How youthful!" Vixen turned to face Rock Lee. Neji and Tenten stood by his side. Neji gasped in horror. Tenten did the same.
"What, on, earth, is, that, THING?" Neji asked. "It makes Orochimaru look good." Vixen nodded.
"I know." She let out an evil cackle. "Sasuke was rude to some girl from Alabasta and she turned him into a pink Unicorn." Team Guy stared blankly at her for a moment. Then they stared at the Unicorn.
"It is him!" Tenten yelled. She bent down. "Look at the hair!" She pulled it. Sasuke neighed.
"Hehe." Even Neji was laughing. Sasuke was shooting them all his death glare. The only thing was, it didn't work when he was a pink Unicorn. It only made them laugh harder.
"Stu-stupid, Unicorn-chan." Vixen laughed, holding her sides. "That glare doesn't work. Save it for the lady cockatoos." She burst into laughter again.
"What do you plan to do with him?" Neji asked, once they had stopped laughing. "I mean. Sasuke's a pink Unicorn. There is no way you can let him alone." Vixen kept laughing.
"Of course not. I'm gonna show him to everyone!" Sasuke had no choice but to be dragged along behind the four ninja as they raced along.
The first group they encountered was the Sand Ninja. They were walking calmly through a section of Konoha. Lee hailed them enthusiastically.
"Gaara-san! Kankuro-san! Temari-san!" He waved. All of them shuddered at the sight of him. "We have something to show you!" Realizing the hyper ninja wouldn't give up, all three of them walked leisurely across the street. They drew up in shock in front of Vixen and Sasuke.
"What is that thing?" Gaara asked, twitching.
"Yeah. What is that?" Temari asked.
"Its Sasuke!" Vixen shrieked. She explained what had happened.
"Serves the brat right." Kankuro chortled.
"Definitely." Temari laughed. They looked at Gaara who still looked impassive. The laughter slowed. Gaara and the pink Unicorn that was Sasuke were having a staring contest. Suddenly, Gaara broke it off and collapsed. Afraid, all of them gathered around him.
He looked up, his eyes wet.
"That," He said, laughing. "Is the most hilarious thing I've ever seen." And he descended once more into mad laughter. All of them started laughing again in relief. All except for Sasuke. The pink Unicorn was busy pouting. Except this made them laugh even harder than they were before.
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"Hey! Choji! Shikamaru! Ino!" Vixen shouted. "Look at this!" She was waiting for the reaction of a fan girl. Team Guy and the Sand team had no love for her pet pink Unicorn. Ino was a fan girl.
"Vixen!" Ino yelled, shocked. "Why'd you put Sasuke's clothes on an animal? And is that your pet? Its hideous, no offence." She flipped her hair. All of the ninja who knew burst into hysterical laughter. Even Gaara and Neji.
"Who are you people?" Choji yelled. "Gaara and Neji don't smile!"
"It is alright, my youthful friend!" Lee yelled. "Yosh! The fires of youth burn brightly in them!"
"Well, someone's genuine." Shikamaru muttered.
"We're all real." Vixen said. "My new pet is hilarious."
"Must be." Ino said. "Its certainly ugly."
"I know. It looks like a cockatoo, huh?" Vixen said slyly.
"Yeah…"
"Guess what? It's Chicken Ass Hair!" Ino screamed. She fainted. Falling on top of the pink Unicorn who was now a pink Unicorn pancake. Choji and Shikamaru joined her on the ground. Only they were laughing.
The pink Unicorn formerly known as Sasuke, wiggled its way out of the pile. It's makeup surrounded eyes glared at them. Sasuke was pissed.
"Kaiton no jutsu!" He yelled, except it sounded more like "Neighhhhh whinny snort!" He pulled himself up onto his hind legs, even so he was only waist high. He put his front hooves together. The image was so funny that all the ninja began to laugh. Which is when a voice was heard behind them. Two voices actually.
"That's funny! Dattebayo!"
"Naruto!" A pink haired Kunoichi and a blonde fox ran over. They laughed at the sight of the Unicorn who now had bubbles coming from its mouth. The Unicorn's eyes widened in horror. Naruto and Sakura were here. And they were followed by Kakashi-sensei and Asuma-sensei, and Iruka-sensei, and Kurenai-sensei. Sasuke promptly fainted. His faint was greeted with shrieks of laughter.
In the bushes Miyuki, aka Mi-chan, the girl from Alabasta, started laughing.
"Serves him right!" She laughed. "No jutsu can reverse the effects of a Devil's Fruit." Then she vanished.
To this day Sasuke is still a pink Unicorn, Vixen's pet and the laughing stock of the ninja world. Even the Akatsuki have come into the village in disguise to see him. Itachi was almost proclaimed dead because he stopped breathing from laughing so hard.
How'd it go? Its my first Crack-fic. How'd you like Vixen? Mi-chan is my OC of me. If you don't understand what she does, I'm sorry. She escaped from One Piece. You should read it, it's a great manga. Review! You get to laugh at the PINK UNICORN!! Who can resist that?