Title: Snow Days Can be Brutal

Pairing: Implied Nathan/Toki

Rating: PG-13 for swearing

Timeline: Season 2, before Dethdad

Toki Wartooth awoke with a smile on his face. He carefully got out of bed, tiptoed out of the bedroom he often shared, and ran down the hallway to the big window. Looking out at the vast grounds of Mordland, he was not disappointed by what he saw. The weather guys on TV had been right, and his fortress-home was now covered in a deep blanket of snow. He paid little attention to the movement near the bottom of his view—yardwolf pups getting acquainted with the new landscape—because puppies just weren't very brutal; not even wolf puppies. Turning, he rushed down the hallway to get dressed, ignored by some passing Klokateers who had seen far worse than Toki in his underwear.

~Hours later~

Nathan Explosion woke up alone, and with a headache. He thanked the gods that he didn't really believe in that it was dark in his room—at least he'd remembered to close the heavy drapes the night before. Then he cursed those same questionable gods as he tried to get out of bed and ended up falling in a heap on the floor, twisted in his bedcovers.

"Too many fucking things on my bed " he mumbled to himself as he tried once again to get up. Eventually, he managed to pull himself up and get dressed, and then made his way down the hall with the intention of sitting on the couch and staring into space for a while. Preferably with a beer—beer would be nice. He should probably find Toki, too, since they had had a 'sleepsover' (as Toki liked to call them) again the night before. Waking up alone the next day like this wasn't usual—maybe something was wrong?

His plans were forgotten as he blindly turned a corner and was intercepted by 175 pounds of high-velocity Norwegian muscle. Nathan hit the floor. Again.

"What the fuck was that?" Nathan howled. After shaking his head, he saw that the cause was sitting on the floor next to him, also dazed from the collision. "Toki, what the fuck? And where the fuck have you been?"

"Oh ja, good mornings to you toos, sunshine. You's a real dick when you first wakes up, you knows dat?"

"Yeah. Uh where were you?"

"Outsides in de snow. Den me and Skwisgaar has a snowball fights, and now I's gonna go try—"

Nathan cut him off, noticing for the first time the icicles hanging from Toki's fu manchu "Where did we get the snow from?"

"It snows last nights! A whole bunches of it, too! But I takes a break to get hot chocolates, then maybes I's going to tries to learns how to snowboard! Unless you wants to comes out and plays with me?" Toki flashed puppy eyes at Nathan, hoping against hope that he'd say yes.

Nathan just stared at him blankly. This was way too much enthusiasm to process first thing in the morning… afternoon... whatever time it was.

"Nat'ans, you in dere? I didn't knocks you's brain loose, dids I?"

"So someone brought us snow? Last night?" People could do that, right?

Toki gave up trying to explain and simply led him to the closest window, where the singer shielded his eyes from the bright sunlight. Snow was everywhere, lots of it, as far as he could see. It looked really pretty, and was, therefore, not very brutal.

"Whoa. It fucking snowed."

"Ja, dat's what I tells you! But I's going to go gets hot chocolates now! You wants to join me?"

Nathan missed the slightly anxious expression on his bedmate's face as he continued to stare in awe at the snow. "Uh sure, why not. Maybe I can put booze in it. Yeah."

As they walked toward the kitchen, Nathan began to feel curious. "So, did you, like, do this kind of stuff in Norway? You know, like, snowball fights and shit?"

"Well, nots really, it was just me and my parents in an abandoneds village "

"Oh yeah. Shit, I'm sorry, I totally forgot you were like, isolated a lot " That was probably a bad thing to bring up. Fuck, he was going to have to start thinking a little faster.

Toki, however, just shrugged it off. "That's okays, I does it a lot more now dat I's in Dethklok. And now me and yous you knows do stuff so dat's nice, too."

"Hmm, yeah it is. But snow... I've never really gotten used to snow. Florida didn't, uh have any?"

"Dat sucks. I know lots about snow. Dere's da kind dat blows around, da kind dat sticks to yous—dat sucks—but todays it's thick and sticks good. Good for snowball fights!"

Nathan opened his mouth to say something else, but all that came out was a bellowing "Auugh!" as something huge, white, and painfully cold exploded against the side of his head.

They turned to see a flash of blond and white racing down the hallway, giggling madly.

"SKWISGAAR! We calls time-outs for now! No fairs!"

Nathan looked down at the white specks dusting his shirt and the floor. "Did he just throw a fucking snowball at me?"

Toki nodded.

"But how? We're inside!"

"Ja, I tolds you we has a snowball fights. Don't worries—you gets him back laters. Now let's go."

They continued down the hallway, Toki humming under his breath and Nathan trying his best to think up a fitting revenge plan. When they arrived at the kitchen, however, they were surprised to see Skwisgaar, who had somehow beaten them there.

Nathan immediately confronted the lead guitarist. "Why the FUCK did you hit me with a snowball?"

"Calms down, Nat'ans, I's just hasing a little funs," The blond replied, nonchalantly sipping his own hot chocolate.

"We're INSIDE!"

"Your points being?"

"My point being fuck you, Skwisgaar!"

The Swede was not impressed. "Pfft. Real enlighstened."

Disgruntled and at a loss for a suitable retort, Nathan went to the pantry in search of booze while Toki sloppily made them two mugs of steaming hot chocolate. Upon his return to the main kitchen area, Nathan was confronted with a mug of bubbling, shit-colored goop that Toki set down on the table in front of him. It looked very, very wrong.

"Uh, Toki? I think you put too much, uh fuck it, never mind." He poured a good amount of the rum he'd found into the concoction. It tasted like chocolate sludge mixed with rum. "Well, at least Murderface didn't make it," he muttered to himself, although the odds were that even Murderface would've done better. (As long as he didn't piss in it, which was always a risk.)

~Half an hour and four more cups of 'hot chocolate' later~

Nathan stood, swaying slightly as he looked down the huge snow mountain they'd just climbed. (His half-formed plan for revenge had been forgotten since Skwisgaar hadn't come back outside.) He turned to Toki.

"Uh, so what are we doing with this fucking inner tube?"

"I tolds you, we's going sliding! I gets in front and you gets on the bottom, and we slides down da hill!"

"This sounds complicated?" Maybe he should have had another hot chocolate first. Or... maybe not. This seemed to be one of those rare situations where being more drunk might not actually be better.

"Here, you stays there and watches. I goes first by myselfs and shows you how, okays?"

"What the hell, okay."

Toki took the inner tube and trotted even further up the hill. Then, making sure Nathan was watching closely, he took a running leap and dove onto the tube, and went flying down the hill.

"WHEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...!"

~About ten minutes later (or however long it took to walk back up the hill) ~

"Okay, you readies to try? It's really funs!"

"Uh..." Nathan looked at him, and then back down the snow-covered peak. Not that he would ever admit it, but he was actually scared shitless. And for once, being totally wasted wasn't helping. But Toki was really excited, and the kid rarely looked this happy; he couldn't bear to tell him no. "Okay, uh fuck it, let's go."

After some struggling, they managed to get situated with Toki more or less squished into his lap.

Nathan waited, but nothing happened. "Hey. We're not moving."

"Well, no shits, you gots to move first, Nat'ans. Just scoots your butts a little."

"That's stupid." But he obeyed, and could feel them begin to slide as soon as he started moving. Faster and faster...

"Oh shit, Toki, we're going down! Oh FUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkkk !"

Toki just laughed, enjoying every second of the ride.

~Some ten trips later~

Nathan sat atop of the hill, exhausted from all the walking and trying to dodge trees on the way down. He wasn't in shape for this, not even close. He watched as Toki made yet another run by himself, still unwilling to stop.

"Shouldn't have done this drunk," he muttered to himself. He saw Toki coming up the hill again and decided to ignore his cheerful waving, since waving was so not brutal.

Toki flopped down beside Nathan, thrusting the inner tube into his arms. "Okay, your turns!"

"Fuck that, let's go back inside."

Toki looked disappointed, but he agreed far too easily. That should have alerted Nathan's suspicions, but the frontman was very drunk. As Nathan stood up, he was instantly knocked back down (conveniently onto the inner tube), and Toki quickly kicked his feet out from under him and gave him a shove.

Before he knew it, Nathan was sliding down the hill alone, at top speed, completely out of control and trying desperately to remember to steer. Oh right—he had to lean Narrowly missing a huge tree, he thought to himself, "Shit, that was too clo—"

~About seven hours later~

Nathan Explosion woke up with a headache. Again. He tried to sit up, but quickly stopped because it hurt too much. Why? Wasn't he just outside, with Toki? He tried to remember...

"Nat'ans? Oh, I's so glad you's alive! We t'oughts you was a goner!"

Wait, Toki was here? "Toki, slow down. I mean, what the fuck even happened? The last thing I remember is dodging a tree after you pushed me down that fucking hill."

"Ja, you hits de next tree furt'er downs. Now don'ts moves, because you breaks half you's face and you's ankle, and I t'ink maybe you fucks up you's wrist, too "

"Wow, all that? That's pretty brutal."

"Nat'ans, I's really sorry. I almost killeds you. I t'ink it's just because I's bad luck." The Norwegian hung his head. "Everything Toki gets close to dies "

"Hey, don't talk like that! Fuck that! I mean, I didn't die, so just shut up."

Toki sniffed, but did as the frontman asked. Nathan didn't need to be upset right now; he was hurt.

"Okay, you's rights, Nat'ans." He changed the subject. "Do you wants anyt'ings?"

"Sure, you can go get me some beer. Beer would be nice." After all, beer could improve almost any situation.

"Okays, den I be back to keeps you company!" Happy for something to do, Toki bounced up and leaned over him. "I's glad you nots dead." He kissed Nathan on the top of his head. "I likes having you around."

Nathan watched as Toki turned and hurried from the room to get the beer. He knew that kisses really weren't brutal, but they felt a fuck of a lot better than broken bones, so that was okay.

And snow could be pretty fucking brutal, after all.