He sat at his desk, head in his hands, contemplating. It wasn't supposed to be this way. They were supposed to be happy. Happier. Sure the boys were happy, as happy as billions of dollars could make anyone, but, he wasn't satisfied. This wasn't good enough for him.

In the beginning, it was all perfect. Though it was hard getting married as young as they did, Charlie and Jamie were in love and at sixteen and seventeen, their first child, a beautiful boy with bright red hair was everything they'd hoped he'd be. As they got older, he worked as many jobs as he could, Jamie staying home to take care of their boys, who continued to be born, each bringing new joy to their lives together. Charlie remembered coming home one afternoon between jobs and seeing their third, raven haired child reaching to his mother, imploring her wordlessly to pick him up.

"Natey, I know what you want, please say it!"

But she got in return, a grunt and whine, which was completely expected. She sighed, picking him up, careful of her pregnant belly. Baby number five was on its way.

"Look Natey, there's daddy! Say hi to daddy!"

The boy looked at him, contemplated, looked at his mother. He reached out for his father, who walked over and took him.

"Hi, Natey. How was your day? Oh, ok. Did you, Josh and Willie give mommy a hard time today?"

He shook his head no. All of a sudden-

"Daddy! Daddy back! Daddy back! Where daddy go?"

"Well hi Willie, what did you do for lunch today?"

"We had schandwichesch and Josch eat two picklesch!"

Making a mental note to talk to the dentist about his speech impediment, he turned to his oldest child, who had just sidled into the room.

"Really Joshua? Did you eat two pickles today?"

"Yes he did," answered his mother, ruffling his hair. "I told him we're going to start calling him Pickles now. They seem to be his favorite food."

"Soon he'll want them with everything. How did the baby do today?"

"Well, this baby," she said rubbing her belly, "Did just fine, even though he moved around a lot."

She was certain their next child was to be a boy as well, and though at first Charlie had wanted a little girl, he was excited of the prospects another masculine child would bring.

"And the two year old was quite fussy today. He's taking a nap now."

He kissed his wife, put his son down, and walked into the little boy's room, and found his youngest child, sleeping soundly, fingers twitching in his sleep. He rubbed his hand across his silky blond hair that was getting longer and longer. How was he going to pay for five children, two of which were still in diapers? Then-

"Dada! Dada! Up!"

The baby was awake. At least this one could tell you what he wanted. He picked him up, and changed his diaper.

"Ready to go see mommy Skwisgaar? Its gonna be dinner time soon."

He took the boy on his back into the den where his brothers were waiting for him.

"Baby up! Mommy! Baby up!"

The oldest walked over to the baby, who subsequently pulled his hair. He was lifted out of harms way just in time by his father from being smacked by an angry five year old.

"No hitting! And no hair pulling! That hurts Josh!"

The baby just laughed and pulled at his hair. Oh well, he'd learn eventually.

This was as close to normalcy as their lives would ever get. A few moths later, during the birth of the baby, Jamie died. Charles was left with five children to raise and nurture. He tried his best to raise them, but with limited income, and not enough money to pay for daycare so he could work like he used to, he had no options. Family members and friends sympathized, but no one could really spare that much money to help, with families of their own beginning to progress. Rather than seeing the boys split up and traumatized by foster homes, he decided to have each of them adopted.

But try as he might, he couldn't find anyone to take a family of five little boys. So they were each sent to different homes, and given to different parents who promised, or so it seemed, to love and nurture them.

Joshua was given to a couple who lived in Wisconsin, and already had a little boy of their own, Seth.

"Aww, our little Sethy is gonna love havin a little brother! Right Sethy?"

The boy didn't say anything, but stared indifferently at the strange child.

"And whats your name son?" The man said to him.

"Pickles!"

Poor Josh, Charlie thought. Ever since his mommy had 'gone up to heaven', this was the only name he would answer to.

"His name is Joshua."

"Oh its fine son, Pickles is quite the nickname. He'll be special."

"Bye daddy."

"Bye Pickles. I love you." He watched his oldest son go, holding the strange woman's hand. He barely had time to think before a beautiful woman walked up to him.

"Hello! I'm Rebecca Murderface, is this William?"

"Yes, this is him," he said, nudging the little boy closer. "He's a little shy, I'm afraid, but I know he'll warm up to you."

"I'm sure he will, and my husband will love him! But first I'm going to take you to meet grandma and grandpa, ok Willie?"

"Thisch isch my new mommy?" He asked, looking at his father.

"Yes, son, it is. Okay? Be a good boy, and try not to have any accidents."

"I promische. Love you daddy." The little boy kissed him and smiled at the woman. Charlie was happy that the woman was so inviting, and hoped that William would be comfortable with her family. Next up was the most difficult separation he'd have to go through.

A military man and his wife walked up to him. The man shook his hand rather forcefully.

"Hello, Oscar Explosion, and this is my wife Rose." The woman smiled at him. "We're here for, uh what's his name."

"Nathan. He's right here."

The boy looked up at him, green eyes wide. Charles knelt down to his sons face.

"Okay, Natey, this is your new mommy and daddy. Please say something to them."

But he just looked at them with the same expression, and back to his father, with a blank stare. As much as he could hope for. Then the boy started to cry, silent tears falling from his face. He wiped them away.

"Now Natey, I need you to be daddy's brave boy, okay? Don't worry, I promise I'll see you again. I love you Nathan." He kissed the top of his head and let him walk away to smiling woman. He grabbed her hand, then turned around. Charles waved and then:

"Daddy. I love you daddy."

Tears were falling from his eyes by the time the fourth woman came over to him.

"My name is Sverta, I'm here fors the little boys, yes?"

"Hello Miss Skwigelf, yes, this is my son Skwisgaar."

She didn't have a smile, or look as promising as William's new mother had. Hell, she wasn't even very clean. Taking her in, Charles decided that she looked somewhat like a stripper. He was getting more and more wary of this choice the longer he regarded her.

"come wif me, I takes you to Sweden, yes?"

"No! Me stays with daddy!"

"Skwisgaar, its time to go okay? Daddy loves you very much, and this is your new mommy okay? Be a good boy and do this for daddy."

"Why daddy? Why daddy make Skwisgaar go?"

"Cuz daddy…is busy, and he wants you to be happy, okay?"

"I loves you daddy."

"I loves you too Skwisgaar."

And with that he watched his son get whisked away by the haughty woman, not even stopping to introduce herself to him.

As a man and woman in all black walked up to him, he picked up baby Toki. Toki was too young to speak, and so Charles was a slightly less pained in giving him away, knowing that he would also not remember any of this. At least he was going to a father and mother. He kissed the smiling baby's head and handed him to the woman, who stared at him with the same cold look she had given Charles. After having a brief conversation with the man, wherein it was learned that the baby was going back to Norway with his new parents, Charlie looked at the baby one last time, remembering to hand him a small bunny, that Jamie had made for him one night before he was born. The baby chewed on the ear of the toy and Charles smiled, saying "I love you Toki," before watching the couple go.

And then he was alone. Charles couldn't pay the bills in his house any longer, so he sold it and moved to a different state in a different city. A few months later he decided it was time to do something with his life so that he wouldn't go mad from grief and loneliness.

He went back to school, grateful that he decided to graduate from high school. He managed to get a scholarship into Harvard, and studied law with a minor in music law. He told himself that if he ever saw the boys again, he'd be able to get them back.

Years passed, and Charles had long ago given up his hope that he'd ever see his sons again. By this time they were all adults, almost, and even if he did find them, they wouldn't remember him by now, with all the time that had passed. He traveled around the states, hoping to find down and out but talented men to form a band, which he would manage. He was more than surprised when he found Nathan and Pickles, two men trying to start a band, needing someone to manage them. At their initial meeting, Charles was nothing but professional. He didn't give the boys any inkling that he knew them, and they truthfully so, acted likewise. They found William, who went by his surname, Murderface now, and they started to travel looking for guitarists.

Sweden provided a further surprise when he not only found Skwisgaar, shredding faster than life on the guitar, but when he learned he was living with Toki, acting as a surrogate big brother to the boy. Not to his surprise, they didn't remember or recognize him either. They were the youngest, he didn't expect them to. The five men agreed to form the band and soon moved into Mordhaus. The rest is truly metal history.

He was snapped back into the present by the appearance of the band at his desk. They were telling him something about the Amazon, and why they needed to go. He wasn't really paying attention. He decided to use his regular brush-off.

"Guys, can't this wait until later? I'm really busy right now."

"That's what you always say." The way Pickles looked at him for some reason, this time, made him feel like he was giving him away all over again.

"Yeah, whys, Charlses? Why you never want to hears us out?"

That was the nail in the coffin for his argument. "What is it that you wanted to tell me?"

And he sat there and agreed to an Amazon expedition, knowing how much money it would cost, and knowing how useless it would be. But he did it anyway. He had kept his promise to Nathan, and now that he could, he was going to give them everything he couldn't before. Even though he would never show it, he loved them, and lived to make them happy. They were, after all, his boys.