DISCLAIMER:
The following content is the intellectual property of the
Yamaha Corporation and its respective subsidiaries
as well as any participating organizations that own
various designs and concepts that will be featured. The
Author in no way claims to be a part owner of any of
the characters that will be portrayed, and writes with
the full authorization of the ffnet website.

WARNING:
The following content is rated M for Mature, and may
contain graphical descriptions of mature scenarios
that viewers may not find suitable. This is a work of
fiction: Any and all similarities to real life situations is
purely coincidental.

Wanting to go back to how it used to be...
Is that a sin?

"Why are you doing this to me?" Teto asked hoarsely.

Kai sat at the the foot of her bed, twiddling his thumbs. Not looking at her, but not looking away from her either. Did it matter which came first?

She wanted to disappear. Just stop existing. Fade from everyone's memories as though she were never there to begin with.

Forget about me, she pleaded internally. Forget about me and be happy.

"Is there no place I can go to just be alone?"

At those words, Kai raised his eyes to her. She couldn't read his clouded facial expression, but she thought it was a look of disdain or disappointment. Like she was running away. He opened his lips, and...

"I'm so sorry..."

...were the words that escaped him. She hicupped.

"Dumbass! What the hell are you apologizing to me for...?" She took a step back, a step away from him, clutching her head to squash out the throbbing pain. "I'm the one who should... wh-who should..."

She took another step towards the door, probing with her hand for the doorknob. Suddenly, Kai leapt towards her and grabbed her by the wrist.

"Stop running away." He tightened his grip painfully as she tried to yank herself free. "Don't go... please!"

Swallowing her tears, Teto replied, "G-give me... one damn good reason w-why..."

Kai immediately started to answer her, but stopped at seeing the burning self-hatred in her eyes. Whatever half-assed answer he had to offer her, it wasn't going to convince her. No matter what he told her, she was going to leave. Defeated, he released her and stared at his feet.

As she turned around to leave, he felt his broken heart sink deeper. With each hollow, resounding step she took, his broken heart cracked under the increasingly tremendous pressure. Rotting feelings seeped out through the openings, and one simple, overriding desire surfaced in his mind.

He stepped into the doorway and, facing her in resolute defeat, admitted: "I just want to be where you are."

Teto stopped just three steps down the stairs, breathing heavily. She began to sob. Clutching the railing for support, she fell to her knees and cried.

With the naive hope that he could still reach her, Kai approached. But he was afraid to touch her, afraid that the wrong words, the wrong actions, would drive her beyond his grasp. Forgetting himself, he reverted to his childlike nature.

"I... want to hug you..." He asked her for permission hesitantly, knowing, or perhaps believing that she would resent him for his kindness.

She didn't say anything at all. For a fleeting moment, he thought that everything would be okay. But the piercing silence harshly reminded him that his own naivete was his greatest undoing. He'd lost the war a long time ago, and stalling her retreat was just bringing both of them more casualties.

Stop the foolishness. Stop dreaming. Wake up. Grow up. Let go.

I don't want to let go, he thought. But even as he did so, he walked past Teto with his fists clenched passively.

From behind, she caught the tail of his coat and clung to him.

"How can you say that so honestly, despite everything that I've done?"

Again, that feeling of hope welling up in his heart. But Kai was becoming increasingly wary of his own self-delusions. Reality's bite stung, and he had enough pain to deal with.

"Even if you ask me, I... just... can."

She shook her head in disbelief, rubbing snot and tears into perfectly good leather.

What a horrible way to say goodbye, forever, he observed.

She held him closer, burying her face against his back. He stood there, waiting, and waiting, and waiting for her to let go. Waiting for her to go back into her room. Waiting for the parting that would not come. She wrapped herself around him, panting.

Then he noticed. The heaviness, the heat. That primal way she was clawing at his clothes with her fingernails like they were in the way. The dazed and confused grunt she gave him when he turned and looked into her eyes.

Her fingers wrapped around his ears and hair, and she pulled him towards her. Even though he was one step below her, she still could not reach him despite standing on the tip of her toes. She panted, mouth open, animal eyes searching his.

Teto was somewhere inside this bundle of raw instinct. Was this her way of reaching back, taking his outstretched hand?

Or had she simply snapped under the pressure?

In the final, fleeting moments of her existence, Teto had an epiphany. Kai was afraid. He was afraid that his feelings were wounding her. And they knew that her feelings were killing them both, carving a deep scar into their hearts that might never heal.

He was just like her. He wanted her to be happy, and she knew she could never be happy without him. Stroking his angst creased face, ironing out the wrinkles lovingly, she whispered,

"I'll never, ever leave you. I promise. So wait for me. I'll be right here."

He didn't understand what she meant. It was her last, fading instant of sanity. As climax turned her vision a brilliant, electrifying white, she fought with every ounce of willpower to convey to him her true feelings.

"I-"

When she awoke, she couldn't remember. Anything.

But she was lying happily in his arms. He slept with such a peaceful, happy expression, and somehow she couldn't help but to accept it. A wave of content washed over her, weighing down her eyelids. She decided that she would ask him what both of their names were later.

Author's Note: I honestly have no idea how I came to this ending. The story I had in mind took on a life of its own. Even though I had a scenario around this insert in mind, now even I'm wondering exactly what happened before and after.

Anyway, I hope it's not overwhelming for any readers. I haven't written in a while, but I have a ton of things which I haven't finished. I'll clarify one thing: Teto somehow lost her memory after they consummated their feelings. Exactly what that means or what it is going to mean, even I have no idea.

If you review, I encourage you to share your speculation.