O.o I was REALLY high on sugar when I wrote this.....it was right after Easter. *Blanks out* So....much....candy.....
So....anyway, R.J. who is a muse of mine that has an obsession with sporks ( don't ask -_-;; ) decides to talk to me while I'm trying to work on a story. That's all....I think...so keep reading!! PLEASE R/R OR LOCKER ELVES WILL STEAL YOUR EASTER BASKETS!!!
I control the locker elves.......
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!!!!! Wait....I own R.J. and myself, I own Alex, and Renoke.....Okay, I OWN SOMETHING!!! But not the FF7 characters. Or any other video game characters mentioned here.
I AM THE SPORK!!!!
( A/N: I am Crazy, my muses are Renoke, R.J, and Alex. Everyone else is a video game character )
Crazy: ( sitting at her computer typing )
( R.J. appears )
R.J: Watch' doin?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doin?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doing?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doing?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doing?
Crazy: ( fuming ) I'm.....writing....a....
R.J: Watcha' doin'?
Crazy: SHUT UP!!!!
R.J: Why?
Crazy: AAAARRRRGGGGG!!!
( Renoke appears )
Renoke: Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!!
Crazy: DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE NOCTURNAL!!!!
( Renoke disappears )
All: .........
Crazy: Okay then.....( starts to type again )
R.J: .....Watcha' doin?
Crazy: GRRRRRRR!! ( jumps out of her seat and grabs R.J. by her throat )
I'm writing a story....okay?!
R.J: Okay friend. ^__^
Crazy: ( Sits down again )
R.J: So......
Crazy: ...
R.J: Watcha' doin?
Crazy: Okay, that's it!!! ( starts to type furiously )
R.J: Whatcha' writing?
Crazy: Heh heh.....yuri......
R.J: OOOOH!! With who?
Crazy: Oh...someone....( evil grin )
R.J: Who?
Crazy: Yuffie......
R.J: And?
Crazy: Hmmmm.....
R.J: AND?!
Crazy: Heh heh...you.....
R.J: What?!
Crazy: Yuri starring you and Yuffie.....
Yuffie: WHAT DID I DO?!
Crazy: Nothing.
Yuffie: THEN WHY AM I BEING TORTURED?!
R.J: HEY!! What's that supposed to mean?! You don't want ME?!
Yuffie: Ewww....no.....
Crazy: Guys, little kids may be reading this......
R.J: SO RAISE THE RATING!!!
Crazy: DON'T YELL AT ME!!!
R.J: Why doesn't Yuffie want me?
Crazy: ENOUGH!!
R.J: Oooookay.......
Yuffie: Thank Gawd.....
R.J: *sniff* No one wants to do me.......
Crazy: *sweatdrop*
( Alex appears with Tifa and Aeris at her side )
Alex: What are you guys talking about? I heard R.J. screaming.
R.J: I DID scream....Yuffie doesn't want to star in a yuri fic with me.....
Aeris: Crazy, you don't write yuri......
Crazy: SHHHHH!!!
( Cloud and Squall appear )
Both: DID SOMEONE SAY YURI?!?!
Crazy: Out, you perverts!!
Cloud: *whiny* Why?
Squall: I wanna see some action!!!
( Rinoa appears )
Rinoa: SQUALL!! ( Hits Squall over the head with a frying pan )
R.J: RINOA!! Would you want to do me?
Rinoa: What?!
R.J: In a yuri fic?
Rinoa: *sweatdrop* Uh.....( disappears with Squall )
R.J: *anime tears* WHY WON'T ANYONE DO ME?!?!
Crazy: Jeez, go ask one of the boys already....
R.J: Okay. ( screams ) SEPHIROTH!!!!
All except R.J: O_O
Crazy: NO!! Not him!
( Sephiroth appears )
Sephiroth: What do you want woman?
R.J: Will you be in a fic with me?
Sephiroth: What kind of fic?
Crazy: You don't wanna know....
R.J: Yuri/yaoi.
Sephiroth: *gets a nervous look* ....
R.J: Well?
Sephiroth: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU DEMON!!
( Sephiroth dissappears )
R.J: NO, come back! Oh well....Cloud?
Cloud: HELL NO!!
( Cloud disappears )
R.J: ...VINCENT!!!!!
Alex: HEY!! ( A/N: Alex likes Vincent )
R.J: ( innocently ) What?
( Vincent appears )
Vincent: What?
R.J: Vincent, will you do something for me?
Vincent: ...
R.J: I'll take that as "what?"....well, would you ever star in a fic with me? You know, something along the lines of ( muffled ) yuri/yaoi...
Vincent: Excuse me?
R.J: *cough* Yuri/yaoi. *cough*
Vincent: ( looks over at Crazy with a nervous look ) *gulp*
( Vincent disappears )
Crazy: Oh well, that was the last cute boy....now get uot so I can finish my story!!
R.J: The yuri one?
Crazy: THERE WAS NO YURI FIC!! I MADE IT UP!!
R.J: Really?......
Crazy: Yes. Now everyone, leave me alone! I need to finish this story!!
Chibi R.J: *anime tears* No one wants to have sex with me!!
Crazy: And there goes the PG rating......
R.J: WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?! ( Suddenly stops crying ) Wait, I know....IT WAS THE FILING CABINENTS!!
Crazy: Wait, what?
R.J: FILING CABINENTS!!!
Alex: What exactly does filing cabinents have to do with anything?
R.J: Here, I'll show you... ( starts to dig in her pockets. Finally she pulls out a newspaper clip ) Here we go. Read this. ( Hands it to Crazy )
Crazy: *reading*
"When Filing Cabinets Go Bad
You may think that when you leave your filing cabinet, it just sits there so peacfully, and just stays a nice filing cabinet. BUT, the thing you don't, or may not know, is that it doesn't. The sad, but the very true thing is, they vandalize everything they see, inside, and outside of their "home", and let the innocent townspeople get accused, and blamed, for the filing cabinets own actions. There are NO bad people in this world---only bad filing cabinets. There's not much anyone can do about this (at the time) but we have people brainstorming what should be done about this horrible, horrible thing that happens.
---THIS JUST IN---
We've recieved a very important piece of information just now. It seems the people have figured out a way to stop this nonsense. They will stuff the filing cabinets with ranch dressing, and tablecloths and throw them all into the ocean, and years later, after they do whatever it is they do in water for years and years, they will bring them back up, and try to use them again,hoping that they've learned a valuble lesson. If that doesn't help, WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ?
Tifa: Where did you get this?
R.J: National Enquirer. So, I bet these filing cabinent things told everyone that I totaly stunk in bed, and that's why no one will sleep with me!
Aeris: ...You're kidding, right?
R.J: Of course not!! Those damn filing cabinents...SCREW UP MY SEX LIFE WILL THEY?!
Yuffie: You mean the one that doesn't exist?
Tifa: *stifles laughter*
Crazy: There goes PG-13.......
Alex: Aren't we getting off of the point?
Yuffie: What was the point?
Crazy: To get left alone!
Alex: No....to figure out why no one wants to have sex with R.J!
Crazy: Watch it Alex, you're adding gasoline to a forest fire.
Alex: *whispering to Crazy* This is payback for her trying to get Vincent!!
Crazy: Oh brother.
R.J: SPORK!
All: *sweatdrop*
Alex: Care to explain why you just screamed "spork"?
R.J: No, not really.
( Renoke appears )
Renoke: I SAID SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, DAMNIT!!
R.J: Renoke?
Renoke: What do you want, beast.
R.J: Have you seen my spork collection?
Crazy: What happened to the filing cabinents?
Alex: Crazy, don't try to make sense out of it, just go with the flow.....
Crazy: Okay.
Alex: *sprouts wings* What the hell?!
Crazy: Don't worry about it...go with the flow.....
R.J: So...aabout my spork collection?
Renoke: *yawns* Uh huh...well, I fed them to my dog.
R.J: YOU WHAT?!
Renoke: I fed them to my dog.....so?
R.J: NNNOOOOO! MY SPORKS!
Renoke: *yawns and stretches* Uh huh...well, you can get them back, but you have to take on my dog.
R.J: What's his name?
Renoke: Cerberus.
R.J: The three-headed dog?
Renoke: Yep. Well, good luck. *dissappears in a puff of smoke*
R.J: To complete this task, I must call upon the powers of the spork!!
Aeris: Don't you mean the planet?
R.J: Nope, I mean the spork!!
Tifa: Okay.......
Crazy: I'm lost.
R.J: Ahem....I AM THE SPORK!! *turns into a spork with a red cape on*
Crazy: Oh God, you've got to be kidding me......*holds her forhead*
( Zell appears )
Zell: Hiya! Where's the cafeteria?
Alex: Hotdogs?
Zell: Yep.
R.J:
Zell: Did that spork just....talk?
Crazy: Unfortunately....yes.
Zell: Woah.
Alex: How about you take it? It's a magic spork!! If you kiss it, it'll turn into a beautiful girl!
Crazy: More gasoline on the fire....
Zell: Awesome, dude! *grabs the spork*
R.J: *turns back into herself, crushing Zell in the process*
Crazy: Is this EVER gonna end?
Alex: Probably not....
R.J: Ooooh...unconscious boy...YAY!! *drags Zell into a closet*
Alex: Well...looks like the end of the yuri/yaoi dispute.
Yuffie: Hopefully....
( Um....not nice noises are heard from the closet... )
Tifa: ...
Aeris: ...
All: ...
Crazy: I'm never gonna sleep again...
( More...um....noises.... )
Crazy: *hits her head repeatedly* BAD IMAGE! *hits her head* BAD IMAGE! *hits her head* BAD IMAGE! *hits her head*
( Um....thumping? )
All: ....ewwwwwwwww....
( R.J. comes out of the closet dragging Zell [still unconscious] behind her )
R.J: Alright, I'm happy now. ^_^
Alex: I'm scared.
Crazy: I don't want to write anymore....I'm going to kill myself now.....
R.J: WAIT!! *sniff* What about my spork collection?!
All: ...
All except R.J: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
THE END.....or is it?
So....anyway, R.J. who is a muse of mine that has an obsession with sporks ( don't ask -_-;; ) decides to talk to me while I'm trying to work on a story. That's all....I think...so keep reading!! PLEASE R/R OR LOCKER ELVES WILL STEAL YOUR EASTER BASKETS!!!
I control the locker elves.......
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!!!!! Wait....I own R.J. and myself, I own Alex, and Renoke.....Okay, I OWN SOMETHING!!! But not the FF7 characters. Or any other video game characters mentioned here.
I AM THE SPORK!!!!
( A/N: I am Crazy, my muses are Renoke, R.J, and Alex. Everyone else is a video game character )
Crazy: ( sitting at her computer typing )
( R.J. appears )
R.J: Watch' doin?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doin?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doing?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doing?
Crazy: I'm writing a-
R.J: Watcha' doing?
Crazy: ( fuming ) I'm.....writing....a....
R.J: Watcha' doin'?
Crazy: SHUT UP!!!!
R.J: Why?
Crazy: AAAARRRRGGGGG!!!
( Renoke appears )
Renoke: Shut up, I'm trying to sleep!!
Crazy: DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP!! IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU'RE NOCTURNAL!!!!
( Renoke disappears )
All: .........
Crazy: Okay then.....( starts to type again )
R.J: .....Watcha' doin?
Crazy: GRRRRRRR!! ( jumps out of her seat and grabs R.J. by her throat )
I'm writing a story....okay?!
R.J: Okay friend. ^__^
Crazy: ( Sits down again )
R.J: So......
Crazy: ...
R.J: Watcha' doin?
Crazy: Okay, that's it!!! ( starts to type furiously )
R.J: Whatcha' writing?
Crazy: Heh heh.....yuri......
R.J: OOOOH!! With who?
Crazy: Oh...someone....( evil grin )
R.J: Who?
Crazy: Yuffie......
R.J: And?
Crazy: Hmmmm.....
R.J: AND?!
Crazy: Heh heh...you.....
R.J: What?!
Crazy: Yuri starring you and Yuffie.....
Yuffie: WHAT DID I DO?!
Crazy: Nothing.
Yuffie: THEN WHY AM I BEING TORTURED?!
R.J: HEY!! What's that supposed to mean?! You don't want ME?!
Yuffie: Ewww....no.....
Crazy: Guys, little kids may be reading this......
R.J: SO RAISE THE RATING!!!
Crazy: DON'T YELL AT ME!!!
R.J: Why doesn't Yuffie want me?
Crazy: ENOUGH!!
R.J: Oooookay.......
Yuffie: Thank Gawd.....
R.J: *sniff* No one wants to do me.......
Crazy: *sweatdrop*
( Alex appears with Tifa and Aeris at her side )
Alex: What are you guys talking about? I heard R.J. screaming.
R.J: I DID scream....Yuffie doesn't want to star in a yuri fic with me.....
Aeris: Crazy, you don't write yuri......
Crazy: SHHHHH!!!
( Cloud and Squall appear )
Both: DID SOMEONE SAY YURI?!?!
Crazy: Out, you perverts!!
Cloud: *whiny* Why?
Squall: I wanna see some action!!!
( Rinoa appears )
Rinoa: SQUALL!! ( Hits Squall over the head with a frying pan )
R.J: RINOA!! Would you want to do me?
Rinoa: What?!
R.J: In a yuri fic?
Rinoa: *sweatdrop* Uh.....( disappears with Squall )
R.J: *anime tears* WHY WON'T ANYONE DO ME?!?!
Crazy: Jeez, go ask one of the boys already....
R.J: Okay. ( screams ) SEPHIROTH!!!!
All except R.J: O_O
Crazy: NO!! Not him!
( Sephiroth appears )
Sephiroth: What do you want woman?
R.J: Will you be in a fic with me?
Sephiroth: What kind of fic?
Crazy: You don't wanna know....
R.J: Yuri/yaoi.
Sephiroth: *gets a nervous look* ....
R.J: Well?
Sephiroth: GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU DEMON!!
( Sephiroth dissappears )
R.J: NO, come back! Oh well....Cloud?
Cloud: HELL NO!!
( Cloud disappears )
R.J: ...VINCENT!!!!!
Alex: HEY!! ( A/N: Alex likes Vincent )
R.J: ( innocently ) What?
( Vincent appears )
Vincent: What?
R.J: Vincent, will you do something for me?
Vincent: ...
R.J: I'll take that as "what?"....well, would you ever star in a fic with me? You know, something along the lines of ( muffled ) yuri/yaoi...
Vincent: Excuse me?
R.J: *cough* Yuri/yaoi. *cough*
Vincent: ( looks over at Crazy with a nervous look ) *gulp*
( Vincent disappears )
Crazy: Oh well, that was the last cute boy....now get uot so I can finish my story!!
R.J: The yuri one?
Crazy: THERE WAS NO YURI FIC!! I MADE IT UP!!
R.J: Really?......
Crazy: Yes. Now everyone, leave me alone! I need to finish this story!!
Chibi R.J: *anime tears* No one wants to have sex with me!!
Crazy: And there goes the PG rating......
R.J: WHYYYYYYYYYYYY?!?! ( Suddenly stops crying ) Wait, I know....IT WAS THE FILING CABINENTS!!
Crazy: Wait, what?
R.J: FILING CABINENTS!!!
Alex: What exactly does filing cabinents have to do with anything?
R.J: Here, I'll show you... ( starts to dig in her pockets. Finally she pulls out a newspaper clip ) Here we go. Read this. ( Hands it to Crazy )
Crazy: *reading*
"When Filing Cabinets Go Bad
You may think that when you leave your filing cabinet, it just sits there so peacfully, and just stays a nice filing cabinet. BUT, the thing you don't, or may not know, is that it doesn't. The sad, but the very true thing is, they vandalize everything they see, inside, and outside of their "home", and let the innocent townspeople get accused, and blamed, for the filing cabinets own actions. There are NO bad people in this world---only bad filing cabinets. There's not much anyone can do about this (at the time) but we have people brainstorming what should be done about this horrible, horrible thing that happens.
---THIS JUST IN---
We've recieved a very important piece of information just now. It seems the people have figured out a way to stop this nonsense. They will stuff the filing cabinets with ranch dressing, and tablecloths and throw them all into the ocean, and years later, after they do whatever it is they do in water for years and years, they will bring them back up, and try to use them again,hoping that they've learned a valuble lesson. If that doesn't help, WE'RE ALL DOOMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" ?
Tifa: Where did you get this?
R.J: National Enquirer. So, I bet these filing cabinent things told everyone that I totaly stunk in bed, and that's why no one will sleep with me!
Aeris: ...You're kidding, right?
R.J: Of course not!! Those damn filing cabinents...SCREW UP MY SEX LIFE WILL THEY?!
Yuffie: You mean the one that doesn't exist?
Tifa: *stifles laughter*
Crazy: There goes PG-13.......
Alex: Aren't we getting off of the point?
Yuffie: What was the point?
Crazy: To get left alone!
Alex: No....to figure out why no one wants to have sex with R.J!
Crazy: Watch it Alex, you're adding gasoline to a forest fire.
Alex: *whispering to Crazy* This is payback for her trying to get Vincent!!
Crazy: Oh brother.
R.J: SPORK!
All: *sweatdrop*
Alex: Care to explain why you just screamed "spork"?
R.J: No, not really.
( Renoke appears )
Renoke: I SAID SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP, DAMNIT!!
R.J: Renoke?
Renoke: What do you want, beast.
R.J: Have you seen my spork collection?
Crazy: What happened to the filing cabinents?
Alex: Crazy, don't try to make sense out of it, just go with the flow.....
Crazy: Okay.
Alex: *sprouts wings* What the hell?!
Crazy: Don't worry about it...go with the flow.....
R.J: So...aabout my spork collection?
Renoke: *yawns* Uh huh...well, I fed them to my dog.
R.J: YOU WHAT?!
Renoke: I fed them to my dog.....so?
R.J: NNNOOOOO! MY SPORKS!
Renoke: *yawns and stretches* Uh huh...well, you can get them back, but you have to take on my dog.
R.J: What's his name?
Renoke: Cerberus.
R.J: The three-headed dog?
Renoke: Yep. Well, good luck. *dissappears in a puff of smoke*
R.J: To complete this task, I must call upon the powers of the spork!!
Aeris: Don't you mean the planet?
R.J: Nope, I mean the spork!!
Tifa: Okay.......
Crazy: I'm lost.
R.J: Ahem....I AM THE SPORK!! *turns into a spork with a red cape on*
Crazy: Oh God, you've got to be kidding me......*holds her forhead*
( Zell appears )
Zell: Hiya! Where's the cafeteria?
Alex: Hotdogs?
Zell: Yep.
R.J:
Zell: Did that spork just....talk?
Crazy: Unfortunately....yes.
Zell: Woah.
Alex: How about you take it? It's a magic spork!! If you kiss it, it'll turn into a beautiful girl!
Crazy: More gasoline on the fire....
Zell: Awesome, dude! *grabs the spork*
R.J: *turns back into herself, crushing Zell in the process*
Crazy: Is this EVER gonna end?
Alex: Probably not....
R.J: Ooooh...unconscious boy...YAY!! *drags Zell into a closet*
Alex: Well...looks like the end of the yuri/yaoi dispute.
Yuffie: Hopefully....
( Um....not nice noises are heard from the closet... )
Tifa: ...
Aeris: ...
All: ...
Crazy: I'm never gonna sleep again...
( More...um....noises.... )
Crazy: *hits her head repeatedly* BAD IMAGE! *hits her head* BAD IMAGE! *hits her head* BAD IMAGE! *hits her head*
( Um....thumping? )
All: ....ewwwwwwwww....
( R.J. comes out of the closet dragging Zell [still unconscious] behind her )
R.J: Alright, I'm happy now. ^_^
Alex: I'm scared.
Crazy: I don't want to write anymore....I'm going to kill myself now.....
R.J: WAIT!! *sniff* What about my spork collection?!
All: ...
All except R.J: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
THE END.....or is it?