"Memories"

Disclaimer – This is a work of fiction. The historical characters mentioned herein belong to history and themselves. No profit is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.

Author's Notes –Just a quick little piece about the night Mary saw Katherine in 'Back to the Beginning.' I got choked up writing this. Not happy with the tail end, but ah well. The title comes from the song 'Memories' by Within Temptation.


Tomorrow was to be her wedding day. Even thinking those few words almost shocked Mary Tudor, daughter of Henry VIII and Katherine of Aragon. Every girl, be they royalty or peasant, dreamed of their wedding day and now that it was so close, she couldn't hardly sleep. Spain was as every bit as beautiful as her mama had always told her it was and now she was to be its queen! The memories of her mother were bittersweet and the little girl who'd lost her mother at such a young age now wished impossibly that her mother was with her once more.

Her cousin, soon to be her husband, had even stated wistfully that he, too, wished his beloved aunt was still here to witness the day they were to be wed. Mary had not let him see how deeply the words had touched her heart, always remembering her mother's advice about public appearances. Now, laying in the cool darkness of her chamber, Mary closed her eyes and remembered. She'd told no one about that fateful night that had brought England it's longed for prince and the price they'd all paid to have him. The daughter of Isabella and Ferdinand, England's beloved Queen Katherine had been taken from them in order for the young Prince of Wales to be born.

Her aunt Mary had been charged with delivering the news to the young princess and Mary knew her aunt had been shocked to hear her niece's words. The former Queen of France had kept her secret, vowing to Mary never to mention it to anyone. The only other people she'd told had been her siblings, and only before she'd left for Spain, to be wed to Charles V. Unwittingly, tears formed behind her eyes as she recalled the night she'd gained a brother and sister but lost the one person she'd truly needed: her mother.

Ludlow Castle was always chilly in winter. A fire blazed on the hearth, warming the chamber with its orange glow. Mary sat up abruptly, glancing about in confusion. What had woken her? The ladies who attended her were surely asleep, as there was no sound to be heard but the crackling of the fire. Rubbing her arms to ward off a sudden chill, she brightened as she heard a familiar voice call her name. "Mama?" she called quietly, hoping to avoid disturbing her ladies. Why was her mother here? She knew her mama was with child and should even now be in confinement, so why was she suddenly hearing her mother's voice?

A bright light, the brightest she'd ever seen, suddenly appeared before her. Shielding her eyes with a hand, Mary squinted into it as it seemed to dim slightly. There she was! Katherine of Aragon smiled sadly at her beloved Mary, sitting on the side of the bed just like she did when Mary was with her royal parents at whatever castle they were staying at. "My Mary," the elder woman replied, reaching out a hand and caressing her daughter's cheek.

"Mama, you're here!" Mary cried happily, tossing the heavy blanket aside and scurrying across the bed to her beloved mother's side. She quickly embraced the queen and that was when she noticed it. Her mama's belly wasn't big anymore. The young princess frowned down at it before looking at the older woman quizzically. "Are the babies okay?"

Katherine nodded, once more smiling that sad little smile. "Yes, Mary, they are well. I have come to tell you something, my precious girl."

Satisfied with that answer, Mary smiled brightly at her mother. "Yes, Mama, what is it?" she questioned, settling beside Katherine and gazing adoringly at the elder woman.

Her blue eyes filled with sadness as she gazed down at the only one of her children to survive infancy. Mary was her precious girl and now Katherine had to leave her. "I've come to tell you that this is the last time you will see me, my Mary."

The young princess cried out in horror and dismay. No! Her mama couldn't leave her! Tears quickly filled her eyes and she began to sob. Flinging her arms about her mother's neck she sobbed piteously into her mother's neck. "Why, mama, why do you have to leave?"

Katherine held her daughter close before gently pulling back to look the young girl in the eyes. "I don't want to, my Mary, but you must understand. I gave your father the son he wanted, the son England needed and now Jesus needs me to be with him in heaven. Do you understand?"

Mary nodded, sniffling as she wiped away at the tears trailing down her face. "Yes, mama, I understand."

"Good. Now, I need you to do me a favor. I want you to be a good girl, as you've always been, for your father, the king," Katherine instructed, waiting until Mary nodded before continuing. "Make sure to always tell your brother and sister how much I loved them, even before they were born. And as always, remember the three of you are the grand children of Isabella and Ferdinand. Can you do that?"

"Yes, Mama, I can do that. I love you, Mama!" Mary replied, once more hugging her mother.

"I love you as well, my Mary. Never forget that." With those final words, Katherine of Aragon disappeared into the same bright light that had heralded her arrival.

The loss of her mother still ached but she'd done just what she'd promised. She'd been a good girl for her father and had always made sure to tell her brother and sister that their mama had loved them. Joanna had cried the night she'd heard Mary was to leave. The little girl, who looked so like Katherine, had been heartbroken. The night before she was to set sail for Spain, she gathered both Edmund and Joanna to her and told them what their mother had said to her that fateful night. Both of them had looked at her in wide-eyed amazement but the story clearly stuck with them. The next day, both of them had said their emotional goodbyes in private. Henry had expected Joanna to start crying as Mary boarded the ship but Joanna had not. She was every inch the daughter of Katherine of Aragon that day.

Smiling to herself, Mary turns on her side and exhales quietly, finally thinking she may be able to sleep. She would show no fear tomorrow, she decided sleepily. After all, she was the granddaughter of Isabella and Ferdinand and tomorrow, she would prove that.