Got Away By Some Mistake
Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or any of its characters. The song used is called 'The Way I Loved You' and belongs to Taylor Swift.
Arthur's P.O.V.
I lie awake in the middle of the night, thinking of the woman I truly love. Though everyone thinks so, it's not my wife, Guinevere. Even with her head resting on my chest and my arms encircled around her body, it still feels wrong.
She is sensible and so incredible
And all my single friends are jealous
She says everything I need to hear
And it's like I couldn't ask for anything better
I love Guinevere, I really do… Just not the way a man would love his wife. I love her only as a friend. No one could ever take Morgana's place in my heart, even if she is my… sister.
I cringed as I thought the last word. Sister. I had always told everyone that she was like a sister to me but never in my wildest imaginations did I think that it could take on a literal form. I was disgusted with my father. All this time, he knew that Morgana and I were blood-related but still felt content watching us flirt under his nose.
I miss screaming and fighting
In the eyes of everyone in Camelot, Guinevere and I had the perfect relationship. If I was being honest with myself, I would think so too. But even the best relationships need their healthy dose of arguments and disagreements; something we did not have. I think back to those times with Morgana, always bickering and exchanging insults. I couldn't help but compare that with what I have with Guinevere right now. Even though many people would prefer a relationship like I shared with my wife, I was not one of them.
It's 2am and I'm cursing your name
You're so in love that you act insane
And that's the way I loved you
No one ever discussed Morgana anymore. Just the thought of her made almost everyone's blood boil. Everyone's except mine. No, I could never hate her. We've shared so many experiences together for me to just turn on her for one mistake. A mistake that I could've stopped her from making. If only I realised that she was struggling with something much more serious than night terrors. If only I had opened my eyes and seen what had been in front of me all along instead of seeking comfort from her maidservant.
I could've helped her. I could've been there for her when she needed me most. It would be enough to prevent her from becoming this. All she ever needed was someone to trust, that's why she turned to Morgause.
Guinevere's body shifted slightly, moving closer to me.
She can't see the smile I'm faking
And my heart's not breaking
'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all
I felt terrible for using Guinevere. That's why I married her. I wanted to make it up to her so if it meant crowning her Queen of Camelot then so be it. I wanted her to experience what it was like to have everything she wanted given to her. But I knew that the one thing she wants most is what I can never give. My heart. It would forever belong to Morgana.
You were wild and crazy
Just so frustrating
Intoxicating, complicated
Got away by some mistake
Morgana always brought the best out of me, always urged me to do what was right even if it were against my father's wishes. I had failed her. I had failed myself. If I could go back in time and change it, I would.
"I love you, Morgana. I'm sorry," I whispered.
A ray of sunlight peeked through my curtains. Another sleepless night.
A/N: Please review and tell me what you think! This is my first attempt at a songfic and even I wasn't too happy with it. All comments and criticisms are much appreciated.