He hated sleeping.
It was the only time in a single 24-hour period that he couldn't busy himself with anything to keep his mind away from his worries.
It was the only time in a single 24-hour period that his subconscious would undoubtedly get the better of him.
It was also the only time in a single 24-hour period that he couldn't stop blaming himself for any and everything that happened.
He detested crying.
He hated how he could feel those tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, he hated how he avoided people when he needed them most, he hated how ragged his breaths were, and he hated the weakness that came with it.
He did everything within his power to keep from crying when he was awake.
It was sleeping he had no control over.
She could be dead.
That's what his subconscious kept whispering to him in the darkness of the night, where there was no light to comfort him. That's what his subconscious insisted was true. That's what his subconscious, no matter how evil, desperately hoped because it meant everything had stopped for her.
As he slept, the recurring dream bared its revolting face.
He found her dead.
He never knew how she had died; he didn't care.
She was dead.
The realization caused his heart to plummet into his stomach, leaving a cold, empty space where blood once flowed.
As he knelt by her side, cradling her body as if a single wrong move would take her away from him, he couldn't keep the tears at bay.
He held her close to him, mourning the daughter he had never truly had, begging her to come back to him. The tears fell hot and fast down his face, but he didn't bother to wipe them away. He had lost too much to care anymore.
Through it all, through all the crap he'd been through, he'd been able to hold it together because at least then, Daisy was by his side. But this…
This was too much.
Every time he woke up crying, he tried to remind himself that it was just a dream.
And every time he woke up crying, Melinda would be by his side, trying to fix him.
But this time, it wasn't May who comforted him.
It was the very girl he could never lose.