Disclaimer: not mine. It never has been mine.

Hey, everyone, I got this idea when I was volunteering at my local library. I was so bored and wondered to myself "What would Emmett do?"

Emmett and the Library

POV (Emmett)

Bella had talked us into doing our community service during the summer. Ever since she became a vampire, she's been encouraging us to do something productive with our summer free time so we don't have to be productive in school-year free time. That makes perfect sense! (Insert sarcastic eye-roll here) We drew tasks from a hat. Bella and Jasper got the animal shelter. Rosalie got the museum. Edward and Alice got the YMCA. I got the Summer Reading Program at the library.

So, there I was, stuck there on a Tuesday afternoon, waiting for some kids to show up.

My job was easy. If the kids wanted to sign up, you get their name, age and school. If they were over eleven, send them to Cheap Thrills. You explain the reading bag and the reading log. If they had their log, you would stamp it and then let them pick out a prize form the treasure box. Easy, right?

Thank the lord Angel wasn't there today. She worked the same shift as I did on Tuesdays so I normally had someone to talk to. But one day, I brought Alice to the library and she started to talk to Angel as I was putting books away on the shelves. Alice came over to me and asked me out for Angel. I told Alice to explain that I had a beautiful girlfriend named Rosalie that I wasn't planning on leaving anytime soon. It was awkward. I didn't want to be around her. I couldn't call in sick, so I was grateful that Angel could… and did.

Tuesdays were slow. They suggested that we brought a book or something to read so that you wouldn't get bored. The thing about me is that I don't like reading so much. So what was a guy like me doing working at a place like the library? Most of the time, kids only warm up to me when they've gotten to know me. Seeing me once a week, maybe less, for about a minute isn't getting to know me. To put it bluntly, I made the kids shit a brick.

Oops, sorry. I work with kids, so I mean 'poop out a brick.' Anyway, they had double booked my shift with a set of twins. So when the twins got there, I had do find something else to do. I went over to the information desk to ask.

"The Marshals just got here," I said, "Is there anything I can do?"

"Actually," said my boss, Stephanie, "There is. Follow me." She led me to the staff room. On the table was a large stack of papers, about a foot and a half tall. Next to that one was a smaller pile of about twenty sheets of paper.

"Here's what you do," said Stephanie. She gestured to the smaller pile. "Take the staples out of these and then recycle them."

"What are they?" I asked.

"The Junior Volunteer applications," she said. She gestured towards the looming stack of paper. "When you're done with that, you move onto this"

"Okay," I said, "What do I do."

"The double sided sheets you recycle," said Stephanie.

"Sounds easy enough," I said.

"And then the single sided sheets you cut into fourths for scrap paper," she finished. Crap. This would take a while. Good thing I had vampire speed.

I sat down and noticed a man across the table. He had a hard face, sort of scary. You could tell in a few years, when he was retired, he was the type of old man that the kids didn't want to get their baseballs from his yard.

"I'm Robert," he said, "It seems we'll be sharing a table."

"I'm Emmett," I said. I looked around and noticed two other humans in the room. They were so… so… easily disposed of, but Rosie would have a fit and probably hurt me. So, I decided against having a little snack.

I took off the staples on the applications and out them in the recycle box. There, I was done with the smaller pile, the lesser of evils.

I looked over at the large pile and stared at it. I had fought irritable grizzlies to eat, I had engaged in a war against newborn vampires for Bella and I even made Rosalie and Alice a portrait of them out of their makeup. I had never been truly afraid until then. Could the pile hold one more sheet of paper without falling? I really didn't want to find out. Picking up the world's largest stack of paper off the floor is definitely not how anyone would want to spend their afternoon.

Robert saw me staring at it.

"It's a monster," said Robert, "It used to be bigger. We got a few people to work on it before, but no one has ever finished it before."

"Good to know," I said, "So I wouldn't get yelled at for not finishing?"

"No," said Robert, "But you would probably get congratulated for taking a chunk out of that thing."

"Hmmm," I thought about it. I heard the two other humans leave the room. Once Robert left, I would use my strength and speed to take a chunk out of the massive pile. But… would he ever leave? Of course he would.

I after fifteen minutes of work, I caught Robert staring at me from across the table. I stared back.

"Do you work out?" Robert asked, smiling at me. Oh, god. The only guy that got paid for working here was gay… and he was hitting on me. What do I do? Lie!

"No," I said, "I'm naturally huge. I'm built this way."

"Can I feel?" he asked.

"Uh…" I thought for an excuse. None. Nothing. Zip. "Do you want to see a picture of my girlfriend?" I changed the subject… that should work! If he knew I was straight, he'd stop, right?

"Sure," he said. He got up and walked over to me. I pulled my wallet out and took out my favorite picture of the Cullen Kids. Bella was falling over and Edward was scurrying after her to pick her back up. Alice was looking a completely other way and Jasper was sneezing, so he had a great face on. I was licking Rose's face and she was making a bad face… he wasn't too happy.

I pointed to me licking her face. "That's my girl," I said.

"She's the prettiest girl I've ever seen," he said, "Is she a model? I know guy who designs dresses. Oh, she'd be a perfect model for him!" he was showing his true colors: pale pink and purple.

"She's not a model," I said, "She's too smart to be a model. Stupid models and their stupid-model-ness." I was mumbling the last part to myself.

"She's very lucky," he said. This guy just admitted that my wife was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen and he was still hitting on me? Holy crap.

"Thanks…" I said, but it sounded very much like a confused question. "I'm thinking about proposing." Which I've done four times already. "She's definitely the one for me. I love her with all of my heart." That made him back off and change the subject.

"Who are the others?" he asked.

"Those are our brothers and sisters," I said.

"What?" he asked.

"Rose and I met when we were adopted by the same people," I said, "It's not technically incest, seeing how we're not blood related."

"You and your girlfriend have the same adopted parents?" he asked.

"Yes," I said, "It's the same with Bella and Edward, and Alice and Jasper. They're all together and my siblings, too." Of course, they're all vampires, but if I told Robert that, I'd have to kill him. You know what… maybe I should tell him…

"So, who is who?" he asked.

I pointed to Bella and Edward, "That's Edward and Bella. Bella was adopted four years ago. Most of us were adopted about six or seven years ago. Edward is the youngest, but only by a few months. They've been together for four years." I pointed to the other happy couple. "That's Alice and Jasper. Jasper and Rose are twins. He and Alice polar opposites, but still going very strong. They started together about three or four years ago." Lies, lies, lies! I am an amazing actor!

"What about you and Rose?" Robert asked, clearly wanting to hear about me. You know, being a straight guy and having a gay guy lust after you is just gross. Especially when it looks like he could be twenty years older. Please, I had at least thirty on this guy.

"The moment that she and Jasper walked into the house, I knew she was the one," I said, "Sure it was six years ago, but still."

"Were you adopted first?" he asked, trying to dig through my fake past.

"No," I said, "Edward was."

"It nice to hear about other people's pasts," he said.

This was getting so… awkward… I felt like screaming. "Look, Robert," I said, "This is creepy. I'm not sure if I even like you as a friend. Please… just… back off. I've explained that I am happy with the girl of my dreams and that I don't plan to change that anytime soon."

"I'm sorry," he said, embarrassed. He went back and sat down on his side of the table. When would this guy leave?

I remembered the schedule. Robert got off at four thirty. Damn. I got off at three. I looked at the clock. It was two forty five. No vampire speed for Emmett! I'd have to act like a human until I got home. That sucked.

I tried to remember who was coming to pick me up. I didn't remember. I figured it was Alice or Edward. Bella didn't like driving her car. It was too fancy. I'd tried to break her down, but I couldn't. I tried to tell little Bella that having a fancy car to show off was an amazingly awesome thing. She just can grasp that very simple concept. I wonder what goes on in her mind that doesn't go on in mine….

I watched myself work, and realized I was working to fast. I slowed it down. Stupid human charade. Stupid… stupid… stupid! I wanted to hunt to clear my mind. A big grizzly would be nice. Hell, some elk would be nice right around now. But, apparently, human work comes first. This is like slavery: doing very hard work that could possibly hurt you (if your human) for no money at all. Where is the justice?

I forced myself to not pay attention to my surroundings, to just focus on my work and pretending to be human. I got quite a bit of the towering pile of paper done .it turns out that about 15/16ths of the pile were single-sided sheets. If I were human, I would have gotten carpal tunnel syndrome.

"Emmett," said a voice. I tore my eyes away from the papers in front of me and looked up. Rosalie, my beautiful Rosalie, was standing at the door. My savior. I looked at the clock: it was three.

"Hey," I said, grinning.

"May I help you?" Robert asked.

"I'm here to pick him up," said Rose, "I'm his ride."

"You'll have to wait outside," said Robert, "This is the staff room."

"Well, I have permission from Stephanie that says I can be in here, but if you feel uncomfortable with my being in here, I can leave," she said. She smiled warmly at him and left. I stood and went over to the volunteer table. I hung up my nametag and then signed out.

"You were right," said Robert, "She is too smart to be a model." I left the small staff room and walked over to Rosalie. I laced her fingers with mine and we started to walk out of the library.

"I'm too smart to be a model?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, "I'm not saying you're not beautiful. I'm just saying that those big famous supermodels ain't got nothing on you."

"Thanks," he said. We went out the front door. I pushed her aside, so the people inside couldn't see this, pressed her against the wall and kissed her.

"Not that I mind at all," she said, "But would you mind telling me why you're doing this?"

"Is it flattering to you when a man praises your beauty?" I asked.

"Yes," she said with a smile.

"I'd have to disagree," I said.

"Did that guy in there hit on you?" she asked, becoming super-Rose.

"Yes," I said, my face buried in her hair, "I never want to go back."

"I'm going back in there," she said, starting to walk back into hell.

"No," I said, "I made it clear that you weren't going to share."

"Still," she said, "No one, no man or woman, can hit on you. Mine!"

"Territorial today, aren't you, honey," I said. "I love you. No matter what that gay man has to say, I love you."

"I love you, too," she said. "Let's get out of here."

I couldn't have been happier with that.