I don't know what they expect of me.First they tell me that I'm the leader,that I should start acting like one.Then,they tell me that I can't order them around,that they are their own person.I feel like I can't win.I know that I'm becoming distant changing into..I don't know what,but I can't figure it all out.I need to find the right balence.Sometimes,the doubt gets the better of me,and I don't think I can do this.Then I think, I have to.I am responsible for these people,responsible for keeping them safe.I want to confide in someone,to get this all off my chest,but know that I can't.Liz has gone looking for answers to questions she shouldn't be asking,Isabel hates me I know she does,especially after that stunt at school.Michael is trying to salvage what he has with Maria,and Tess.....I'm not ready to think about yet.Tha leaves Alex.Alex who always came through for us,who always did what he could.At the hospital when he didn't even know me,the time Michael needed the healing stones.All I can think is that we weren't there for him...I wasn't there for him.I know I have to block it out,I have to carry on,but Liz's words keep pounding in my head.Maybe it was an alien,who was responsible for Alex's death.An alien Alex would have been safe from,if he had no knowledge of who we really are....what we really are.Liz dosen't understand that even if I did believe her,even if I could bring myself to think that...it's too dangerous.That alien could decide she should be next....something I couldn't live with happening.I have to be alert,I have to be on guard.If someone is out here.....I have to protect them.....even if they hate me..I have to be the leader.