I glanced out of the corner of my eye to look at him. I couldn't stare at him straight-on, because he knew about my crush, and that'd be too awkward if we had another run-in. I could picture myself kissing his neck again, then going ever deeper to penetrate his skin with my teeth. Noticing that I was slipping out of reality, I shook my head a few times to wake up. He looked at me then, but I fought to keep from turning back to my imagination.
"You okay, Clare?" asked Declan, his gray eyes turning back to the script in his hands.
"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, uh...Declan," I stumbled through my words. If it wasn't noticeable enough, then I didn't know what would be. He had to know that I still liked him. Just because my lips had made contact with his neck didn't mean my crush was gone.
I was shaken out of my thoughts with the arrival of Holly J Sinclair. She popped up out of nowhere, holding a script herself. "Hello, Clare. I'm just here to make sure you don't kiss my boyfriend."
"Oh, Holly J, I-"
"Calm down, Clare. I was just kidding." Holly J laughed and cuddled up against Declan. I had to fight to not roll my eyes. I mean, what did he see in her? Sure, she was powerful and popular, but what was it about her that made her so great? She was just Holly J.
Just Holly J. That was like saying Declan was just cute, or Alli was just my best friend. They were all so much more than that. They all had their own personal traits, both good and bad.
Who was I kidding, if anyone had the choice between me and Holly J, they'd choose her.
I faked a smile to show Holly J and Declan. "I knew you were just kidding."
"Right..." mumbled Holly J.
I hated it. I hated the way she walked about like she was everything. True, she'd forgiven me for kissing Declan's neck, but she could also be mean, heartless, and cold. Declan, on the other hand, was nice, passionate, and warm. Holly J walked away, and I felt a little better.
Declan looked at me again. "Sorry about her. You know how Holly J can be."
And he wonders why I like him, I found myself thinking. I just couldn't help it. His neck was open, and my mind started to slip to imagination once more. I mentally slapped myself and focused on Declan.
"Yeah. I definitely know how she can be," I said.
"Look, I know you probably still like me, but you're not getting your hopes up, are you?" asked Declan.
My mind and my heart began racing together. I knew that I had to lie to him, say that I hadn't been getting my hopes up. I knew that it was my only option. My only smart option, and I always went with the smart solution.
"No. I'm definitely not getting my hopes up, Declan. I know nothing will ever happen between us, and I just have to accept that," said Clare.
"Thank you for realizing it. You know, I don't really mind that you have a crush on me, as long as you don't...kiss my neck again." Declan turned back to his script, laughing a little.
I joined him in laughing. It was kind of stupid that I'd kissed his neck. I wasn't really my fault. It was the stupid fanfiction and the stupid vampire books and Declan's stupid cute face. Wait, that last part wasn't so stupid. But it was to blame. If he wasn't so cute, interesting, and nice, I'd never have dreamed about him in the first place. Why couldn't Declan Coyne be really ugly?
On the other hand, I was glad that he wasn't ugly. If he was ugly, I wouldn't be so focused on the play. I'd still be working on the play, but every time he spoke to me, I'd probably just mumble something back. But with the cute face of Declan, I was alert and ready for anything.
"I'll be right back, Clare." Declan smiled and raised a demanding finger. "Don't start without me."
"I won't," I said loudly as Declan walked away. After he left the room, I melted. My heart raced and butterflies fluttered about in my stomach. Damn that cute boy.
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