I don't own anything you recognise. Not even the plot! The characters belong to J.K Rowling, and the plot belongs to Vipere-Catin!
The Malfoy Family jewels
He couldn't believe it. How could he, the rich and powerful Draco Malfoy, have found himself in this situation?
"The next time I see Weasley, he's dead." he growled.
The nurse next to him asked him to undress. And for the first time in his life, Draco Malfoy felt dread. He couldn't help but wonder what the thing he had been so proud of a scant few hours before looked like now…
"No! I refuse!"
"Excuse me?" asked the nurse, decades of experience not preparing her for this.
"I refuse to undress!" declared Malfoy.
"Well, you are going to have to do it sometime!"
"You are nothing but a boot licking Mediwitch! I have no intention of undressing in front of a Mediwitch." replied the peroxide blond arrogantly with the superior air typical of the Malfoy family.
"Oh!" huffed the annoyed nurse, "how dare you…"
"The customer is always right." The blond said smugly.
"We are not in a cheap restaurant Mr. Malfoy! We are at Saint Mungo's!"
"Yes, well, I don't give a fuck. Piss off and find me a real Mediwitch."
Well, actually, it was true that at the moment he was unsure whether he actually could fuck… A lack of tact? Eh, whatever, he didn't give a damn. The nurse seemed to share that view, as she looked as if she wanted to murder him. However, she did go, casting him a dark look and muttering swearwords under her breath.
Malfoys never change. Disagreeable to the very end. Especially when in a very awkward position. He looked down at his poor suffering best friend.
"Don't worry," he cooed as if talking to a three year old child, "the nice doctor will sort you out in no time…"
"Hem hem."
"Ah, here he is now."
He turned around.
His eyes widened. Merlin's beard, was the universe against him? What was happening?
"GRANGER!"
"Yes, well done, that is my name. But here you'll refer to me as Doctor Granger."
"Fuck off Granger; I'll never call you that! And I sure as hell won't let you examine me!"
"It doesn't look like anything changes. You told me to fuck off, but you can't fuck anyone Malfoy! Is that a Freudian slip?"
"Wow Granger! Not only a Mediwitch, but a psychiatrist as well?"
"I'm very talented."
"Of course you are Miss know it all!"
"Whatever Malfoy. Now, strip!"
"Never!"
"Don't be a baby! I sincerely doubt that your little monster has become even smaller."
Draco Malfoy raised an eyebrow. Hermione Granger had a certain audacity about her, and he liked that. But how dare she call it a little monster!
"Don't make me laugh. I have a large enough organ that I could make you orgasm just by sneezing!"
"It's you who's making me laugh Malfoy. Because whatever its state was before, now it's nothing but a limp sausage."
Malfoy stayed silent. Hermione threw back her head and laughed.
"If you could see your face!"she giggled.
"Sod off Granger, I want a real Mediwitch!"
"Listen Malfoy. It's Christmas. There are plenty of little idiots just like you who've managed to hurt themselves. Nearly all the Mediwitches are in the operating rooms, and we're stretched very tightly at the moment. It's mayhem at the moment. So listen very carefully. You have two options: either you let me treat you, or you can barricade yourself in here and say goodbye to your little monster."
"I'm staying here! I'll take whatever consequences, but…"
He couldn't finish his sentence. Granger, that mudblood, was kissing him! And…she was kissing him really well!
"Granger!" he said, pushing her away.
"Look, if you don't want to undress and let me do my work, at least keep me busy."
He didn't reply. Instead he started kissing her fiercely. Yes, mostly because he was frustrated and annoyed about what had happened to him, but also because he'd wanted to kiss Granger for years now, if only to get rid of her good girl reputation.
He tore her shirt.
She removed nearly his entire Quidditch uniform.
He unhooked her bra.
She threw him against the wall, and slammed the door.
He ripped off her panties, and was finally able to taste her as she gasped with pleasure and stroked his hair.
He stood up. And before he could do anything, she had grabbed his boxers. She gave him a wide grin.
"Got you Malfoy!"
She twirled his boxers around in her hands like a trophy, just out of his reach.
"Bitch!" he swore.
"And you like sex too much. That's why it was so easy. Like taking candy from a baby."
"I can't believe you! It's almost as if you didn't enjoy that."
"I didn't enjoy it!"
"Liar!"
"I never lie." She said straight faced.
Then she exploded with laughter.
"Go on, admit you liked it."
"Fine, fine, I liked it! Unfortunately, I could get what I wanted to though because of your little, ahem, problem."
"If I'd had had everything functional, I would have had you screaming."
"Really…"
"Fix it and you'll see!"
"So now you want me to fix it!"
Draco scowled. He would have never been able to find a worse Mediwitch. He almost regretted sending the previous harpy away.
"Granger, since you walked in, my body has been sending me an erection, and you can imagine how much it hurts when my manhood's like, like this!"
"Are you saying that a filthy mudblood gave you an erection?"
"What, do you want me to scream it out loud? All normal attractive girls get me excited!"
"Merlin, you pervert!"
"But I admit, you really get me excited! To the point where it hurts."
The famous Mediwitch knelt down and regarded the mangled piece of flesh.
"Mmm… and how did that happen?"
"That idiot Weasley made me fall from my broom. And he tried to catch me, but he made it even worse!"
"I see. Much worse."
"Tell me you can fix it!"
"Frankly, I'm getting horny just looking at it. So yes."
"So you admit that I make you horny?"
"All normal attractive guys make me horny."
"Oh, so you're playing that game are you?"
"But! I have to admit that you make me the horniest."
"And it'll be even better than you imagine once you fix this…"
Granger smiled.
"Close your eyes."
"What? Why?"
"Do it and shut up!"
He closed his eyes and shut up. By Fudge's lime green bowler hat, this woman was something!
She pronounced a strange sounding spell solemnly, poured a potion over his family jewels. Rinsed them with a muttered 'augamenti'…
Then nothing.
He was about to open his eyes and ask what she was playing at, when he felt her tongue around his manhood.
Was she doing what he thought she was doing?
He opened his eyes and stared at her.
She was…she was…
"Everything's fixed," she said smiling, "and I've doubled checked that it's working…"
"You really are something Granger."
She laughed.
She stood up, and started looking for her clothes. He studied her as she tidied up the room with a few flicks of her wand. He felt like a stallion in heat. He wanted Granger to come and start flicking his wand…
Okay, maybe he was going a little far.
"Hey Granger!"
She looked up from her provocative position where she was searching for her panties.
"Yeah?"
"I think we really ought to test it again. Just to make sure…"
And he strode towards her. She laughed as he grabbed her and they fell on the bed.
This consultation could take a few hours…
