A/N: I do not own the rights to Once Upon a Time, a lovely show which is basically fanfiction in and of itself. There is no universe in which I profit from writing fanfiction based on the show. None whatsoever. This story may contain triggers, particularly once Zelena comes into play, so be warned. This will probably only be two chapters as it was meant to be a lengthy one-shot, but I ran out of steam near the end of it last night.
Roland had imagined his family's reunion hundreds of times since his mother disappeared. There were no pictures of her to remind him what she looked like, so he made it a point to think about her every day. Each day, he would try to imagine her wavy black hair, brown eyes, and loving smile. He would imagine the way she'd ruffle his shaggy hair before kissing him goodnight, and the way his father's face lit up every time she entered the room. For a few months after her disappearance, Roland consoled himself with these memories and constantly reminded himself that she'd be back. As he had more time to think, it became difficult not to wonder why she wasn't back. Did he do something wrong? Was she angry at his father? Although he was perceptive for his age, Roland was still too young to understand the concept of death, which meant that in his mind, Marian was still out there somewhere. Maybe someday it would be up to him to find her and bring her home.
For a child his age, a few short months felt like an eternity. It had only been that long when his memories started to fade, and he couldn't call up those happy moments as easily as he used to be able to. It wasn't long before he stopped remembering her face at all, and was forced to just imagine what she might have looked like.
Sometimes, he could hear his father crying at night. During the day, he tried to put up a cheery and hopeful front, but Roland knew that his father was sad. His efforts to cheer Robin up were always appreciated but never successful. Even though Roland did not understand death or the ambiguous mourning process his father was going through, he did understand the helplessness his father felt. Roland himself was powerless to stop his dad's heartache, powerless to bring his mother home, and worst of all, powerless to even remember her face.
Remembering was the most important thing, wasn't it? Sometimes, young Roland fantasized about becoming a knight and charging through every town in the Enchanted Forest until Marian turned up. His fantasies were always crushed when he realized how hard it would be to find someone if you couldn't even remember their face. If anyone found his mother, he figured it would have to be his father.
One grey evening, he decided to ask the question that was weighing on his young mind. "Papa," he said, standing in the doorway to the room Robin and Marian used to share when they weren't adventuring. "Do you remember what Mama looks like?"
Roland's father, who was sitting contemplatively on his bed, turned to face his son. "Like I only saw her yesterday," he said wistfully. "I don't think I'll ever forget. Why do you ask?"
The young boy stepped into his parents' bedroom, his head bowed in shame. He wondered if his father would be mad at him for forgetting something so important. "I can't," he said with a frown. "What if I see her someplace and don't even know it's her?"
His father knelt down so he could look his son in the eye. "It doesn't matter," he said encouragingly. "Your mother would know you anywhere. I'll bet she'd come running to you the moment she saw your face."
It was a long time before Robin's words were put to the test. A war came and passed, and a curse sent them to live in a strange new land where nothing made sense. The streets were absurdly hard and smooth, always busy with brightly colored carriages faster than any Roland had ever seen before. In this new land called Storybrooke, carriages ran without horses, and the apartment Robin rented for the two of them would light up without candles or magic.
Robin and Roland spent close to two months at Granny's Inn while they got used to the place. Eventually, when it became clear that no one was returning to the Enchanted Forest anytime soon, they started looking for a stable home for themselves. The first few nights at the new apartment were difficult for Robin. The place was plain, bare, and unfamiliar. Nothing there reminded him of Marian, and most of the apparatuses it came with were wholly foreign to him. He did not know how to work the machine that cooked without fire or understand the need for a box full of wintery air. Most nights, he wished for a simple fireplace instead of that box on the wall with its many numbers and dials that was supposed to make heat.
On the fourth night, his father's friend, Regina, came over to help. She came with giant, heavy looking bags, which she set down in front of the winter box. "This is called a refrigerator," the woman told a clueless Robin. "It's where you store food to keep it from spoiling."
She opened the door and started to unpack the bags. Roland watched with excitement as bags, boxes, bottles, and jars were all neatly organized inside that cold box. "Thank you so much," Robin said gratefully. Trying to help, he picked up a thin box and set it on one of the refrigerator shelves.
"Not quite," Regina said with a smile. "That one goes up here," she said, opening the door to the really cold box above the one she called a refrigerator. "This one needs to be completely frozen."
"Might I ask what it is?" Robin asked.
"Most food in this world gets made over here," she said, motioning toward the black thing Robin knew was called a stove. "I'm pretty good with it myself, but it takes time to get used to. Your safest bet is to start with the microwave." She motioned toward the smaller box that extended from the wall above the stove. "Watch what I do."
Opening the freezer, Regina took one of the boxes out and opened it. Inside, there was a small tray full of a strange yellow substance covered with a fine, see-through substance. Robin's eyes widened with curiosity as the woman punched holes in that layer with a fork and tossed it in the microwave. "This food is frozen, so you'll want to hit 'defrost,'" she said.
"That was food?" Robin asked incredulously. "It's like no food I've ever seen."
"Just wait," she said. "Henry used to love these." Roland looked at the microwave curiously, wondering what that yellow block of ice would look like when it came out.
When the plate came out, Regina took off the covering and set it on the small kitchen table. "Give it a try," she said, handing Roland a fork.
The boy used his fork to pick some of the yellow stuff up. It looked like there were little yellow tubes covered in some kind of sauce. "It looks weird," he said nervously.
"Here," Robin said brightly. "Let's both try some."
Robin wasn't enthusiastic about eating a melted block of yellow ice, but he thought it was only fair to try the strange food if he expected his son to. Grabbing another fork from the drawer, he took a nervous, experimental bite of the stuff.
"Not bad," Robin said. "What is this stuff?"
"Macaroni and cheese," Regina explained. "Much better if you make it from scratch on the stove, but kids will eat it either way." Roland's vigorous scarfing confirmed her statement.
When Regina left, Robin felt just a little bit lighter knowing that he had a way to feed his child (and himself) in this world. He might not want to eat the macaroni forever, but Regina promised him there were other things you could make once you knew how to cook with a stove. She came over a few more times that week and showed him how to make an apple turnover.
"This is positively fantastic," Robin said, wide-eyed with surprise. The previous night, he and Roland had visited Granny's and tried some of her apple pie. It didn't compare to what Regina had made.
"My son won't eat these anymore," she said regretfully. "I think this may be the first time I've made them in at least a couple of years now."
"I'll eat two if Henry doesn't want any," Roland volunteered giddily.
"Why, how incredibly thoughtful of you," Regina said with a laugh.
Robin smiled, grateful that Regina and his son were getting along so well. Sometimes, it was easy for Robin to forget that his new companion was once a villain. He suspected that the full story was likely not as black-and-white as the people in Storybrooke assumed it was. Perhaps someday she would feel comfortable opening up to him about it, but he wasn't going to pry. People needed a right to their secrets.
The young boy was put to bed long before Regina left, giving the two adults a few moments of privacy.
"Thank you so much for all your help," Robin said. "It really means a lot to me."
She smiled. "Well, since the first curse was my fault, the least I can do is make the second one a bit more bearable for everyone."
"Everyone, eh?" he stepped closer to his new friend. "Just how many people is everyone, anyway?"
Regina smiled, blushed even. Her smile ignited something inside Robin, something almost like gratitude. It was evident from the way that people in town looked at her, including people who claimed to be her friends now, that he was privileged to see her genuinely happy. He wanted to kiss her but worried that if he came on too strong, he might ruin the relaxed mood she was in.
Would she really want to kiss me? Robin wondered, hoping he wasn't reading her body language and signals all wrong. He knew that the woman had every reason to never want to try again at love. Her first love was murdered and replaced with an arranged marriage she likely never even wanted. In Robin's mind, taking a woman's choice away from her was truly unforgivable. The last thing he wanted was to seem like yet another person who put his own happiness and convenience before hers.
He settled on doing the honorable thing and asking, not guessing. "I was wondering if I might kiss you."
Regina smiled before pressing her lips to his, initiating their first kiss. Although he would likely never completely heal from losing Marian, he suddenly found room in his heart to feel love again. If their roles were reversed, if Robin disappeared and Marian were to fall in love again, he would want nothing but happiness for her. Knowing this, he was able to banish his guilt and enjoy the moment for what it was.
The former thief took care to give Regina enough space to back away should she need it. To his mild surprise, she did not appear to need or want it at all. The next day, she invited Robin and Roland to her gorgeous house and showed Robin how to make real macaroni and cheese while Henry showed Roland something called a comic book. When they sat down to eat, Robin realized he was starting to imagine the four of them as a family. Perhaps it was too soon to be thinking such thoughts, but he could not help himself. Something about it seemed so right.
From all his happiness, he was not expecting the question Roland asked as he tucked his son into bed that night. "I don't get it," Roland said to his father. "Henry said that everybody from the Enchanted Forest ended up here, but then where's Mama?"
Robin's heart sank as he tried to think of a way to answer his son's question. Throughout his travels, he had learned many things, but he had never learned of a good way to explain mortality to a child. "I don't think we're going to find your mother," he said with a sigh.
The young boy felt confused. She had been lost for a very long time, but he had always believed they would find her eventually. "I don't understand," he said. "Why not?"
"I think she ended up in a different world, completely different from this one," Robin said.
"Do they have macaroni and cheese there too?" Roland asked.
"They have everything you could imagine," Robin answered. "It's an amazing place that's bigger than Storybrooke or the Enchanted Forest. It's a world where everyone is happy and no one wants for anything."
"There's magic there?"
"Sort of," Robin said, unsure of how to explain what he did not fully grasp himself, "but it's only good magic. Everyone, whether they're from here or from the Enchanted Forest, has a chance to travel here when the time comes. Sometimes, even though you love someone very much, their time comes much sooner than yours."
"That's not fair."
"No," Robin agreed. "No, it's not. The important thing is, you have a lot of living to do in this world, okay? Eventually, you and I will travel to the world your mother is in, and we'll see her again. For now, however, that isn't where we belong. I may not be able to talk to her now, but I know she doesn't want you to be sad for her. You'll see her again someday, and until that happens, you should focus on having the best life you possibly can so that when you do see her again, you can tell her all sorts of wonderful stories about the adventures you had here."
"She must be really lonely," Roland mused.
"It's possible that she was lonely for a while," Robin said. "Maybe when she first arrived, she felt a bit like we did when we found our new apartment. Then we met Regina and Henry and all kinds of other people. I bet that's exactly what's happened to your mother."
It took Roland a while to make sense of his father's story, but life was better once he did. It became much easier to hold both his father's and Regina's hand on the way to the park without wondering if they were hurting his mother's feeling. He felt much more at-ease, knowing he no longer needed to look for her every place they went. She wasn't at the park, at Granny's, or at his new preschool. Instead, she was in another place that likely had its own park, its own diner, and its own school.
Seeing the positive change in his son's mood gave Robin even more motivation to keep his son out of Storybrooke's never-ending supply of paranormal drama. Strange things were always happening, and it was impossible to completely shelter the young boy. Roland noticed when the red-haired woman he was used to seeing around Granny's stopped showing up, and Robin assured him that Zelena simply moved away (as if that were a simple thing to do). His efforts to shelter Roland soon became meaningless one fateful night at the diner.
The town's local hero, Emma Swan, had just returned from a dangerous mission and brought a woman who was apparently a refugee. At first, Robin could not see the woman's face behind the cloak she was wearing. The entire diner held a collective breath, wondering who the cat dragged in this time. Was she another wicked witch? Had she made some sour, complicated deal with Rumpelstiltskin that would come back to haunt the entire population of Storybrooke?
The answer, apparently, was simultaneously much more wonderful and much more terrifying. When she lowered her hood, Robin immediately cried out to her, needing no reminder of who she was. "Marian!"
"Mama!" he heard his son cry.
Roland ran to the woman faster than Robin could. He moved slowly, somewhat dumbfounded by her sudden presence. After finally laying her to rest in his mind, after letting himself fall in love again, there she was.
"I've missed you two so much," she said. Her voice lacked the characteristic warmth he remembered from Marian, but he figured she was likely every bit as shocked and confused as he was.
Regina exchanged some harsh words with Emma, and Robin's heart sank. He knew his lover was not rational when she was hurt, and she would likely blame Emma for this confusing twist of events just like she had blamed young Snow for what happened to Daniel. Still, he could not pull away from Marian now, having no idea what she had gone through to return to him.
Marian glared angrily at Regina, and Robin quickly stepped between them. "She changed," he said. "She's not the evil queen anymore."
"Oh…my…God," Marian said, her hands balling into fists. "Are you two a couple?"
Unable to take anymore, Regina stormed out, but not before telling her apparently former friend Emma that she was just like her mother. This was a nightmare.
"Yes," he said somewhat contritely. "I'm so sorry, Marian. I never thought I'd see you again. Obviously, this changes everything."
Her expression quickly softened to one he was more familiar with. "I didn't mean to shout at you like that," she said. "I was just…shocked, I guess. I've just spent so long missing you; I didn't think you would have moved on already, especially not with her."
Robin knew in his heart that the Marian he remembered would feel nothing but sympathy toward Regina once the shock of everything had a chance to die down. "I understand," he said. "I want you to know that I am…happy to see you again." He realized that his wife had no place to stay, and it would hardly be honorable to send her to Granny's Inn when he had vowed to love and cherish her for as long as they both would live. "Let's go home," he suggested.
The two of them returned to his apartment, where Roland excitedly showed of all the cool appliances in the household, particularly the refrigerator. Surprisingly, Marian did not seem too excited about any of these new discoveries. "That's wonderful," she said. "Really, it is."
Once Roland was asleep, the couple retreated to what was (until today) only Robin's bedroom. "You don't know how long I've dreamt about this day," he said.
"Actually, I do," she said, taking his hand. "We're in this together."
He looked into his eyes and felt old emotional wounds start to re-open. "All this time, I've been torturing myself wondering what happened to you. I knew you would never just up and leave us."
"That's the last thing I'd ever do," she acknowledged.
"What is it that happened to you?" he asked.
"I really hate to say this," Marian said, "because I know she's an important person to you now, but…" she paused. "I think the evil qu…Regina planned to have me killed."
"Whatever for?" Robin asked incredulously.
"To be honest, I don't remember," she said. "Does she even need a reason?"
"I suppose not," he said, "but I had hoped…she was not a part of this."
"Emma came and rescued me before that could happen," Marian explained. "I owe my life to her."
Over the next few days, the information kept recycling over and over in Robin's mind. In the original timeline, the one Emma had not altered, Regina killed Marian. If Regina had never become the evil queen, he never would have met her. The very existence of his love for Regina was dependent on Marian's death. Even knowing this, his love for Regina remained. On one hand, he loved Regina. On the other, the wife he had been missing for what felt like an eternity was beside him every day now. He promised her a lifetime of love and devotion, and there was no caveat in those vows to account for thinking she was dead only to be proven wrong thanks to magic. No matter which way he looked at it, Robin realized that he belonged with Marian. All that was left was to break the news to Regina.
