Silly fic written for a friend's birthday. :)
Arthur could not believe he was doing this. It wasn't like he was completely inexperienced – he'd kissed a few girls before Gwen and frankly, kissing Gwen was the least of his problem. Over the past three years, Arthur was pretty sure they had got the kissing down to a fine art. It was everything else that he was worried about. He had tried talking to Gwaine and Percival about it (he wasn't foolish enough to speak to Elyan) but that had quickly degenerated into bawdy jokes at his expense. So, he skulked around the library for a while, poking at books with titles such as Duties of Husbands and Wives (which spent more pages on things like the cleaning of shoes and recitation of poetry than anything involving bed time activities and was a really boring read) and The Seduction of a Lady (which was quite useful, if somewhat shocking). That stopped when Geoffrey found him sitting in a corner looking at a picture of women's parts and asked, quite seriously, if Arthur needed help in matters of the flesh.
And that was how Arthur found himself here, in Merlin's tiny room.
After all, Merlin was training to be a physician and physicians knew things about women and pleasing them. He hoped at least. Perhaps he should just consult Gaius.
Where was Merlin anyway? Why was he never around when Arthur needed him?
"Why are you here?"
"Merlin!" Arthur stood quickly, knocking over a stool in the process. "Sorry."
"Shouldn't you be asleep? It's your wedding tomorrow. You should be well-rested for it." Dropping the bag he was carrying onto the floor, Merlin flung himself on the bench Arthur had been sitting on.
Arthur scowled at him. "Shouldn't you be asleep too? I don't need you snoring through the ceremony."
"Don't worry. I've waited years for this. I don't intend to miss a single moment." Merlin narrowed his eyes. "You're not having second thoughts, are you? Because I will tie you up and drag you to the ceremony if I have to."
Arthur scowled again. Merlin was such a pain, "No. Of course not. You know what, this was a bad idea. I'm going to bed."
"Gaius said you waited a while. Suddenly it's not important?" Merlin toed off his shoes and tossed them to a corner of the room. Arthur shook his head and thanked the stars that he never had to share a living space with Merlin.
"It's nothing."
Merlin stood as Arthur started to move towards the door. "Hey, what is it?"
He was going to regret this, he knew. And yet, instead of doing the sensible thing and leaving, Arthur sighed, sat back down on the bench and buried his face in his hands. "Iamworriedabouttheweddingnight."
"What?" The bench creaked as Merlin plopped himself down beside Arthur. "Say that again, slowly and louder."
Heat rose in Arthur's cheeks. "Never mind."
But before he could stand again, Merlin grabbed him. "Alright, I'll stop teasing you now. Gwaine told me you were worried."
"What? You and Gwaine discuss me?"
Merlin shrugged. "You can be rather entertaining. Anyway, he told me about your problem, so –" Jumping off the bench, Merlin grabbed his bag, rummaged through it and pulled out a piece of parchment. "I have learning aids."
"Learning aids? And I just want advice. To be better. I do not have a problem."
But Merlin was far too busy clearing the table and then spreading out his learning aids. Arthur caught sight of two naked figures wrapped around each other and he quickly diverted his eyes. He was not about to look at pictures of naked people with Merlin. "Roll it up!"
"No. Come on. The pictures are really useful."
Arthur turned his back on the table. "No."
"Arthur. Stop being an ass and look. You want to make Gwen happy right?"
That, unfortunately was true, and like every decision he had made since stepping into Merlin's chambers, Arthur knew this was yet another one he would regret. Still, he turned around, his eyes shut tightly.
He heard Merlin groan. "Will you stop being a baby?"
Arthur opened his eyes and stared at a grinning Merlin, before dropping them to look at the parchment. A parchment full of naked people in various contortions, having, what Arthur assumed was, sex. "Where did you get this?"
"Gwaine gave it to me. It was –"
"I don't want to know."
"You asked –"
"Shut up, Merlin." Even as he said that, Arthur leaned over the table to get a better look at the parchment. "Half of these don't even look possible!"
"They all are. Gwaine and I -"
He slapped his hands over his ears, uncaring that it looked childish. Yet he could still hear Merlin's laugh. He gave Merlin a dirty glare, then lowered his hands. "This was very helpful. Thank you. I'll take it with me to study."
"Hey! I'm not done yet. So, you know what foreplay is right?" Merlin perched on the bench and looked up at him expectantly. "You aren't completely inexperience, are you?"
"Of course I'm not!" He was truthfully, but Merlin didn't have to know that. "I know what foreplay is."
"Good, so make sure you spend lots of time on that. Gwaine says it makes things better if you get Gwen aroused. I personally like lots of kissing. So you should kiss Gwen, undress her slowly, touch her –"
Arthur closed his eyes and tried not to hit Merlin. Gwen didn't approve of that. "I get the idea, Merlin. Now, it's late and –"
Merlin's hand clamped over his arm. "Also, remember not to be selfish in bed. I know selfishness is ingrained in you but Gwen has needs too so –"
"Yes, Merlin." Arthur pulled his arm from Merlin and stood. "Thank you," he said stiffly and then he made a quick dash for the door.
"One more thing Arthur! Between a female's legs –"
"Shut up, Merlin!" Arthur yelled from the corridor, his face flaming. It took all his willpower not to run back to his room.
