So we all know this is how the spell was really supposed to go. But, as Ginny Goodwin has explained to us, no gays at family hour. So I've taken to fanfiction to correct the problem, as you do, and here we are. This first chapter is basically a rewrite of 4x10. I'm thinking there'll be three or four parts to this. I'm currently entering into hell, sometimes known as Finals Week, so it might be a week until I can pull the next chapter from the depths of my brain.
Disclaimer: So on top of not owning the characters/town/etc. I also don't own most of the dialogue for this chapter.
Also also, this idea is kind of based off of a Faberry fic, Rainbow Bright by WaveGoodbye, and I highly recommend it.
SSS
"The Snow Queen has a mirror imbued with terrible magic that can do terrible things," Belle explains to the small group gathered at the police station.
"Mirror? Easy enough, let's just go smash it," Hook, bless his heart, tried to be helpful.
"It's not that simple. Rumple told me it's part of an awful spell." Belle prepared to say more when Emma cut in.
"Hang on, I've read about this. The Spell of Shattered Sight, right? It makes you turn on the people closest to you."
"No, this is much worse. The Spell of Shattered Sexuality. If she casts it, it's magic'll make everyone in Storybrooke turn on one another. Someone of the same sex, whoever you're closest to. Everyone'll be overcome with uncontrollable desire." Hook and the ladies stared at each other with eyes so wide it would be comical if the situation wasn't so dire.
"Bloody hell. The entire town'll destroy itself," he noted fearfully.
"And there'll be no one left," Belle concluded, or so she thought.
"Except us," Emma added, sharing a glance with Elsa.
"What makes you think that she'd spare you and Elsa?"
"Because of this." Emma pushed the book of Elsa's lineage towards the brunette.
"She wants it to be just the three of us," informed Elsa.
"Her perfect family."
SSS
Gold found the Snow Queen in the woods on the outskirts of town, appreciating her work taking effect up in the sky.
"This spell of yours. When it hits, in a few hours from now?"
"Midday."
"Midday, yes. It'll bring out the deepest desires of everyone in this town."
"Hmm. It'll do more than that. They will do nothing but tear each other apart until everyone is dead from lack of sustenance."
"Not everyone. You'll have what you want. You, alone with your… sisters, Elsa and Emma, doing… who knows what. And I'll be here too, spending every waking moment of my immortal life trying to rip your heart out."
"It seems you do have something to offer. What do you want?"
"To leave."
"Didn't we already make this deal?"
"Yes but I have an eye for a loophole, and I think I spotted yours. The life I have with my wife and grandson will be destroyed by this spell. So I want you to allow them to leave with me. You spare the two of them, I spare you misery. Do we have a deal?"
"Enjoy your trip."
Satisfied, they turned their gazes back to the terrible spell slowly making its way over the town.
SSS
So they failed to stop it.
"Belle was right. My aunt is actually doing this." Elsa passed the binoculars off to Mary Margaret so that she too could quake with fear at the sight before them.
A dark grey cloud was slowly descending upon the town. It looked like just a typical storm cloud, flashing lightning and rumbling thunder.
"The Spell of Shattered Sexuality," Mary Margaret whispered in terror. She had not taken it well when they had informed her of the latest impending doom.
"Same. Sex. Desire?! So we're all going to want to have sex with someone of the same gender?! PORN! IT'S PORN!" David had to sit her down in the corner with a paper bag to hyperventilate in peace.
"We open the mines and the vault. We take shelter there," David suggested brilliantly. "It's just gonna rain, right?"
"This is magic. It doesn't care about ceilings," Regina explained. Really it should have been obvious. "It's started."
"How long?"
"By midday. By midday everyone in this town will start," she tried to find a way to put it delicately, to spare Mary Margaret anymore anxiety, "tearing each other's clothes off."
"But the children! What about the children?!" Everyone turned with wide eyes and raised eyebrows to stare in alarm at Mary Margaret and all her crazy.
Emma sighed and turned her gaze back to the ominous cloud. "Okay. The answer is simple. Let's not be in town.'
SSS
The answer was not simple.
But Elsa did find her sister's necklace, which was an indisputable sign that they were going to win.
"Is everyone into this 'hope' thing now?" Regina's snark went once again unappreciated as Emma took Elsa's sign and ran with it.
"If we're gonna win we need to stop wasting time. Mom, dad, Leroy, go tell everyone what's going on. When this goes down everyone needs to be separated from their loved ones if they don't want everything to be incredibly awkward when this is over."
SSS
So they didn't win. And their plan had been foolproof.
Emma led their Arendelle friends to the police station to meet up with her parents, brother, and One True Love.
"What's the plan?" she asked her parents, urgent and gesturing like a sports player in a group huddle. They had only minutes until the curse would hit.
Mary Margaret held up a key ring. "This is the plan."
"What? I thought we were trying to avoid the curse, not help it along."
"Emma!" Mary Margaret gasped, shocked at the innuendo. Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff shared incredibly confused looks. Shaking her head in disapproval, Mary Margaret moved over to one of the two jail cells, her husband taking the other one. "You and Anna and Elsa are the only ones immune, so the rest of us need to protect ourselves."
"Couldn't you guys just be locked up together? It's not like you're gonna wanna do anything with each other."
"We don't have time to be logical, just lock us up." Mary Margaret's voice was going to that high pitched place.
"You might wanna try that desk, old friend," David suggested. "It's sturdy. Cuff keys are in the top drawer." Emma's eyebrows rose. That wasn't helping her original suspicions.
After being assured that Henry was in a safe place and Regina and the others could take care of themselves, taking her baby brother from her mother's arms – who was almost immediately passed off to Elsa – and locking up her parents and Kristoff, Emma was pulled aside to talk to Hook.
"What are you doing here? You know what's about to happen."
"Aye, I know, I just needed to see you. Before I chain myself to the dock for the protection of all the men, I needed to see you one last time."
"Killian, I'm not a tearful goodbye kiss person," Emma explained, tears running down her face. They blinked at each other, once, twice, three times. Then he turned around and left.
SSS
Henry, having already gone through all the stages of puberty by the age of twelve, was locked away in the safety of Regina's former office. There were (probably?) other preteen boys in this town. She had to protect her baby's innocence. She turned away from the door she had just sealed with magic when who should she find lurking in the shadows but Robin Hood, same as ever.
"Where to now?"
"My vault, and you need to get as far away from it as possible. It's dangerous even being around each other now. We're moments away."
"It's okay! We're of the opposite sex. We're not going to ravage each other to death."
"… You're a man?"
"… Yes? Wait you thought I was a woman?"
"Well your name is Robin, I didn't want to assume!"
"I have a beard!"
"I know, and about that – Oh, never mind, we don't have time for this."
"I'll go and chain myself to a tree in a minute… Unless you want me to come with you?"
"No no no no no! I need to seal myself in that vault."
"What, to keep people out?"
"Oh no. To keep me in."
"Regina I'll still be attracted to you."
"But you really, really won't be."
With that she slipped away and ran to her vault with only seconds to spare. It wasn't until after she was already sealed in that Regina realized she could've just poofed to the vault and given herself a lot more time.
SSS
The storm cloud engulfed the town entirely, unleashing impossibly large drops of rain. They soaked right through roofs and continued their descent unto the waiting citizens of Storybrooke. Everyone, save for the few that were immune, stared up at the falling rain in awe, eyes open wide to embrace the falling curse.
It lasted for exactly one minute.
The rain stopped and the clouds immediately gave way to the biggest and brightest rainbow anyone would ever see.
Snow White and Prince Charming stared at one another, yanking their interlocked fingers out of each other's grasps, their faces scrunched up in disgust.
SSS
Alright, I would love for you guys to leave me your predictions for the homosexual shenanigans in the coming chapters! Stay tuned!
~ Jen
