Healing The Wounds

Hey everyone it's me again. I'll update my other Big Time Rush story soon. I've missed writing because my computer crashed and I had to wait for a bit. Anyway I'm back and ready to write.

Disclaimer I don't sadly own Big Time Rush

1

Logan Mitchel had lived his life scared and alone. He was constantly bullied and sometimes he couldn't take it. He would try to fight back or for that matter do anything, but it never worked out. It was the same at this school he had moved to. Everyone had targeted him just because he was smart and they were determined to make him feel as small as possible. Unfortunately it worked. He then started to hate going to school. Not obviously because of the academics, but because of the "Social status"

Logan's P.O.v

I slowly dragged myself upright and punched the button on my alarm. Getting up I walked slowly to my bathroom and locked the door. I had to do this. People hated me and maybe they were right. I've been hurt so many times that it didn't matter. Slowly I pulled open the medicine cabinet. Staring at my reflection I sighed. Then they came to me as they always did.

Do it you know no one loves you

Your worthless even Wayne Wayne didn't want you.

Tears pooled in my eyes. I didn't want to talk or for that matter think about Wayne Wayne. He had hurt me so many times that now I was scared to love again.

That also meant I didn't trust anyone anymore.

Slowly my hand reached in and pulled out the medicine I used to combat my pain. Sitting on the toilet I pulled my shirt up and started cutting. I never wanted this it just started happening and now it's my go to. Gripping it I cut again and watched the blood splash and fall. Tears pooled once again in my eyes. It wasn't because of the pain it was because of the self-loathing and hatred I felt for myself.

After a few more cuts I wiped away any last remnants and got dressed for school. I went down stairs and briefly ate breakfast before swinging my backpack onto my shoulders and leaving. I started walking because I lived close and so that of course left me with my thoughts like it always did. I had to fake my happiness while inside I was dying. The happiness tried to last, but it never ever did. It was just a ruse, a façade. If anyone found out how I truly felt they would go out of their way to make my life a living hell.

When I reached the school I wasn't surprised that the first thing that happened was me being slammed against the wall by James Diamond. It had been going on for well ever since I moved here. He would seek me out in the halls because I was always the first besides him to get here. He smirked down at me. "Hey loser!" He sang out laughing. "Still crying to your mom?" James had found me sobbing in the bathroom and ever since then he wouldn't let it go. When I didn't answer he taunted "What's wrong? You read all those books, but you can't talk?" My face flushed, but I knew from countless experiences not to talk to just wait it out and sooner or later he would leave. Unfortunately James seemed angry about something and I was his prime target (like always).

As I waited for the insults to come I didn't expect his fist to slam into my chest. James despite his frustration would never hit me so now I spoke. "Hey! I thought you weren't going to hit me." James snorted.

"Oh yeah! Well I can do whatever the hell I want! Besides you wouldn't tell anyway and who would believe a loser like you?" He laughed grinning as his fist hit me again and I couldn't help it a whimper escaped my lips. "Aww is wittle Wogie hurting?" he asked in mock concern.

"Shut up!" James's hazel eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What the fuck did you say you little freak?"

"I—I said sh-shut up!" My voice cracked in fear.

"You want to end up dead?"

"N-n-no."

"Then my advice for you! Shut up!" I nodded and James smirked wickedly.

After James finally let me go I slumped down the hall as kids filed in. I made completely sure not to make eye contact. "Hey Logie!" Carlos yelled down the hall. People all around me snickered. I knew that Carlos wasn't trying to be mean or make people laugh at me and so I ran over grinning. "Hey Los."

"Are you ok?" I was about to open my mouth and say yeah when that familiar drawl cooed next to me.

"Hey Fag!" I whirled around and there stood Jet Stetson smirking.

"Your gay too Jet!" Carlos yelled. He had been told everything between me and him. Jet glared coldly at Carlos and lashed out slamming his fist into him. The hall went deadly silent. James suddenly slammed Jet against the lockers.

"Did you just hit Carlos?" he hissed and for once I was glad it was someone else. "Did you?!"

"Yeah so what? He's a—"James's fist slammed into Jet's jaw and Jet fell silent.

"No one ever-ever hits Carlos! Ever!" I could see Carlos holding his nose.

"Letos are you ok?" I asked coming over.

"Yeah I'm fine." He mumbled.

"Let me see." I moved his hands and assessed the damage. I was training to be a doctor so Carlos went to me if he got hurt. A trickle of blood slid down his cheek and tears were in his eyes. When James was done he ran over to Carlos pushing me aside my head hitting the lockers.

"Are you Ok?" James asked. Carlos nodded as I rushed back over gently wiping the blood from his face. He wrapped his arms around my neck and I gave James a look. I didn't want to, but Carlos never trusted James since he found him beating me up. James glared then his eyes dropped and he walked away. After James left I took Carlos's hand and we headed to class. Behind me I could hear the laughs of everyone. I knew exactly what they thought, but I didn't care until there was a cold, calculating voice behind me. "Already dating Carlos Logan?" I froze and Carlos rammed into me. I let go of Carlos's hand and stared into the cold eyes of Wayne Wayne. He smirked down at me and I tried not to let the fear take control of me like it always did.

"Um—um n-n-no." I almost squeaked. Carlos glared at Wayne Wayne behind me.

"So what if he is? Your scum and he doesn't like you!"

"Never thought you'd settle for Latinos Logie. You said yourself that you and Carlos were just friends!" He shoved me backwards against the wall his face a few inches from mine. "Were you lying to me?" He hissed and fear shown in my eyes and I quickly shook my head.

"N-n-n-no. I-I p-p-promise!" He smirked and kissed me before straightening back up.

"Good because you know I don't like hurting you." He grinned before leaving.

"Logan! Why didn't you stand up to him!"

"Oh sorry Carlos next time I'll make sure my nose is bashed in! My mistake!" I snapped before turning and storming away.

Kendall's P.O.V

"And here we have the lunchroom!" My eyes rolled. I was sick of this "Tour guide" and already wanted to ditch her. Yeah I was the new kid, but still!

"Yeah well that's perfect and all, but I think I'll get some food and join the rest of the kids!" I said quickly vanishing into the crowd. I hated being the new kid all the time! People would be dying to show me around because I was handsome and they wanted a hook up. I smirked to myself. Oh if they only knew I was gay. I snickered and joined the line. "Hey you're that new kid!" A blonde boy said coming up to me. "Nice to meet you my name is Jet." I shook Jet's hand then grabbed my food before ditching Jet and sitting outside in the courtyard.

I never really liked moving from school to school. In fact I hated it. So what dad walked out! I didn't care and I wanted to stay in one place for a while, but mom couldn't afford that. Now though we were staying in Los Angeles and hopefully we would stay and maybe I could meet someone and become friends with them.

Suddenly a tray slammed a few tables down and I looked up ripped from my thoughts. A boy sat down his brown eyes angry, but fearful at the same time. Slowly I got up and moved cautiously over to him. "Hey are you ok?"

"Why the hell would you care!" He snapped making me flinch visibly. "I bet your just waiting for the prime moment to ruin my lunch!" My eyes widened.

"I'm-I'm not going to do that!" I stuttered my eyes wide as I turned to leave.

"Hey wait! You're that new kid aren't you?"

"Yeah I'm Kendall Night."

"Logan Mitchel nice to meet you." We shook hands and I relaxed.

"Mind if I eat with you?"

"Ok." He muttered looking back down.

Once I got my tray and joined him I asked "What did you mean about that?"

"Oh well everyone in this school hates me."

"Why?"

"Because I'm gay."

"Fuck." My gaze traveled around the courtyard. I was hoping that no one would see me here because I wasn't ready to come out. Suddenly the doors opened and a handsome boy walked over.

"That's James Diamond." Logan muttered his gaze still on his food. James came over.

"Come on new kid you don't want to sit with the biggest loser in the school!" He smirked at Logan before He turned to leave motioning to me to follow.

"Sorry." I muttered before following him back into the school cafeteria.

James led me to his table and I joined the crowd around it. "Everyone this is-"

"Kendall." I said looking away from all the faces.

"Kendall this is Jet, Wayne Wayne, Lucy, all three Jennifer's, and Dack." I groaned then noticed that Jet was staring at me. I groaned and started eating. It seemed to me that James was glaring at Jet.

"Why are you glaring at Jet?" I asked looking at him.

"Well see I have well it's stupid… and well…."

"He has a crush on Carlos the Latino over there." Jet said coolly pointing at a boy who wore a hockey helmet.

"The boy in the helmet?" I asked grinning.

"Yeah that's him, but he doesn't like me because his friend is that loser."

"Logan." Wayne Wayne said automatically.

"So he doesn't like me because well I pick on Logan." I shrugged and went back to eating. I couldn't tell them that Logan was kind of cool. They were the popular kids and obviously telling them that would get me laughed at as well so I shut up.