Cannot; Could Not
by janis
(Square owns my soul, let alone Xenogears.)
----------------------------
I thought I understood you,
apparently I'm wrong.
We don't speak about it,
I want to scream everything to you.
But I cannot.
I knew the stories behind your laughter,
I knew they hid your haunted pain.
I knew where to go when you were alone,
you knew when I needed a hero to save me from myself.
I wanted to repay you, but I just seem to fail.
I wanted to banish this needless sense of needing your approval.
I could not.
I saved you, but the throbbing goes on, and
nothing has changed for me. But for you?
I know everything isn't what it used to be...
Our words are gibberish, our actions are lame.
Everything changes, you have and so has the world.
But I am different, I've tried to change.
But I cannot.
So before you left to face death, I wanted
one more chance. I wanted to be like we used to.
I would be satisfied as your best friend, I wouldn't
need your love if you always could squeeze my hand...
But you laughed at my simple request. Did you fear
that maybe I loved you? I do, but I'm not foolish.
I know my love for you won't be returned. What hurts
me the most that you no longer want me as your friend.
I won't say a word, I laugh along with my joke. There is
stinging pain in my eyes and my breath clings to my lungs.
But will I cry?
I could not.
---------------
*Author's Notes: Blah. I got bored. Poem about unrequited love and
unrequited friendship. Want to guess who it is? *
by janis
(Square owns my soul, let alone Xenogears.)
----------------------------
I thought I understood you,
apparently I'm wrong.
We don't speak about it,
I want to scream everything to you.
But I cannot.
I knew the stories behind your laughter,
I knew they hid your haunted pain.
I knew where to go when you were alone,
you knew when I needed a hero to save me from myself.
I wanted to repay you, but I just seem to fail.
I wanted to banish this needless sense of needing your approval.
I could not.
I saved you, but the throbbing goes on, and
nothing has changed for me. But for you?
I know everything isn't what it used to be...
Our words are gibberish, our actions are lame.
Everything changes, you have and so has the world.
But I am different, I've tried to change.
But I cannot.
So before you left to face death, I wanted
one more chance. I wanted to be like we used to.
I would be satisfied as your best friend, I wouldn't
need your love if you always could squeeze my hand...
But you laughed at my simple request. Did you fear
that maybe I loved you? I do, but I'm not foolish.
I know my love for you won't be returned. What hurts
me the most that you no longer want me as your friend.
I won't say a word, I laugh along with my joke. There is
stinging pain in my eyes and my breath clings to my lungs.
But will I cry?
I could not.
---------------
*Author's Notes: Blah. I got bored. Poem about unrequited love and
unrequited friendship. Want to guess who it is? *
