Summary: "Because you never loved me." Gabriella whispered more to herself than to Troy. But he had heard it, and it made him tense. He couldn't move and his heart began to pound furiously in his chest. A/N: Angst. Yessss... i love angst. Anyways, another one shot. I had started a different one shot about two days ago, but I woke up this morning and started this one. And this one makes more sense to me. Anywayssss... Read & Review PLEASE & THANK YOU!
Disclaimer: I just bought Disney for $972378726890758678715325... NOT. Therefore: I own nothing.
Troy Bolton was pissed off.
Scratch that. He was confused, lost and pissed.
"FUCK!" Troy swore out loud to the silence that filled his empty bedroom. He sat up from lying on his bed, squeezing his eyes shut he tried to get her out of his head. Her face, her smile, her laugh, and those eyes, they were haunting him and he couldn't get her out.
Opening his eyes, he was unable to move when he saw a white cue card posted across from him on his cork board. "I miss you." Was all it said, in her neat bubbly printing. It had been there when he got home from a two day basketball tournament outside of Albuquerque. It's bright white color was the first thing that had caught his eye when he came home that day, dropping his bags onto the floor he read it quickly before running over to Gabriella's house. That night they had caught up, talked about the weekend, and had feverishly began a make out session that had turned into going all the way before her mother had come home. That had all happened last week. What a difference a week could make.
Troy quickly got off his bed and ripped the cue card off the cork board, not being able to comprehend how bad he had messed up things he tore the cue card into tiny pieces letting the pieces fall to the ground. Shutting his eyes once more he stood in the middle of his room taking deep breaths, praying all thoughts of Gabriella would disappear. It didn't work, now all he saw was her eyes, her eyes that had gone form a twinkling light brown to a tearful dark brown, a color he hardly ever saw. Rubbing his eyes with his fist he thought for a fleeting moment that he might go insane. He was distracted for a moment when he heard his stomach grumble. Food. Maybe he should eat something, starving himself for the past couple days wasn't going to help his head.
Within less than a minute Troy was in his kitchen, the refrigerator door wide open his eyes searching for something to eat. Brownies. Troy groaned, what a fucking great time to crave brownies, he knew the only brownie's he liked were the ones Gabriella's mother made. Gabriella. Slamming the refrigerator door shut, he leaned his elbows onto the marble counter top and put his face into his own hands and slowly began to massage his temples.
She could feel something different, something was off. She had felt it that afternoon the day after he had come back from his tournament. She hadn't felt it the night before. Now here they were standing in his kitchen two days later. It was a Wednesday.
"So how are you feeling?" She asked nervously, she rocked back and forth on her feet. She wasn't usually nervous around Troy but lately talking to him wasn't so easy.
"I"m fine." Troy said simply, he had himself perched on the marble counter top, he was fiddling with an apple.
"So... Umm, are we going to hang out or just stand here." This time she wasn't nervous just frustrated at how short he was being. "Actually neither, I need to talk to you." His eyes glued to the apple in his hands. "About what?" Gabriella felt herself panic as her voice had gone an octave higher than usual.
"Us." Troy said.
"I.. What about us?" Gabriella said softly desperately trying to make eye contact with Troy. "We should, you know... end things." His voice was bored, emotionless, as were his actions. "End things?" Her voice was angry, her chest tightening at the thought of being without him. Her throat ached as she tried her hardest to hold in her tears. "Yes." He finally put the apple down and he jumped off the counter, still not meeting eyes with her. "Why?" She said quietly, this time her emotions taking over her as tears began to flow softly down her face. She hastily wiped her them away, disgusted by her own crying. "Just because Gabriella." Troy said his face emotionless just like his voice, just like his eyes. "Because you never loved me." Gabriella whispered more to herself than to Troy. But he had heard it, and it made him tense. He couldn't move and his heart began to pound furiously in his chest. He watched her as she walked away from him, through the back door. "I've always loved you." Troy whispered to the air.
He felt his eyes sting as he found himself near tears. Troy Bolton never cried but then again he had never been in love either. Till Gabriella.
He had been stupid, fuckin' stupid. He slammed a fist against the marble counter top, then sped quickly up the stairs to his bedroom. Grabbing a jacket he raced back down the stairs, swiping his keys off the stair banister and ran outside. And he ran. Ran as fast as he could down the dark suburban street, the only lights coming from various houses and lamp posts. He made a sharp turn, and paused for a moment to catch his breath. One and half more blocks, he closed his eyes momentarily. He couldn't waste anymore time, he continued to run.
Four and a half minutes later he was standing on her balcony. Her curtains wide open and he saw her. Her body was curled in a ball, she was sleeping on her side her face in the direction of her balcony doors giving Troy the chance to just look at her. Taking a deep breath he shakily let it out, then he opened the balcony doors and quietly stepped inside her bedroom, he took a seat in her desk chair. He watched her as memories played in his head, the chair he was sitting on, they had both fallen off it when he decided it would be fun to spin around while she was in his lap. The closet, where he had hidden himself countless times from Gabriella's mother. The dent in the wall next to her bedside table, where she had accidentally thrown a stapler at him mistaking it for a pillow during one of their many pillow fights. Everything about everything reminded him of her, and had finally realized what an idiot he had been.
"Get out." He was awaken from his reverie.
"Gabi I just I need to tell you something." He watched as she got off her bed, walking towards him. She swiftly grabbed his arm pulling him out of her chair.
"No." She walked behind him and began to push him in the direction of her balcony. "You don't get to tell me anything, you ended things, just because." She spoke, her tone rough and edgy.
"No. Gabriella you have to hear this." Troy said, he was growing frustrated he needed to tell her.
"Hear what? Why you broke up with me!? Why you were being weird the night after you came back. Which by the way was one of the most memorable nights we've ever had? You know, I can't help but think our whole relationship was a lie. You never loved me Troy and you never will. So please get the fuck out of my room, so I can try to move on. Because believe me, I've been a mess and you being here isn't helping things." She spoke hurriedly her voice tired, she didn't want to yell she just wanted him to get the message. Then she noticed the tears on her own face. God, she was crying again. Again, she continued to shove him in the direction of the balcony, trying to be strong, trying to show him she didn't need him, that she didn't want him, that every minute of the day she wasn't thinking of him.
He span around quickly at her words, he grabbed a hold of her wrist. His eyes locked with hers and he let go of everything he had been holding inside.
"You think I don't love you? You think our fuckin relationship was a lie?! Let me tell you something Gabriella, I do love you. I've ALWAYS loved you, I'm IN love with you. But do you want to know why I broke up with you? Because I'm scared. I'm fuckin' scared shitless about this, about us. I've never been in love with someone, that night when I came back was the best night of my life. You don't understand, I broke up with you because that night I could see myself with you for the rest of my life. I could see us getting old together. Fuck, I could see us dying together. And when we went back to school I told Chad about it. Because I had no idea what the hell was going on, I thought I was fucking insane. I've never wanted to be with someone all the time, I've never felt I needed someone, I've never thought about someone for almost every second of the day. What you and I had, was once in a life time and I know I fuckin' screwed it up, but you should know that I do love you. And I never stopped." His voice had been rough, the speed at which he was talking and the intensity of the subject, and everything about him scared Gabriella. And before she had a chance to say anything he had let got of her wrist, and he was gone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
His mind was racing. It wouldn't sink in, he had told her everything. And he hoped that now she'd move on. She had gotten her closure, and well, he hadn't gotten his. He'd never get closure, he'd never get over her. He was in love with her, and you can't stop love. Shutting his eyes, he thought maybe now he'd be able to get some sleep. Then he heard his bedroom door open.
Sitting up he could make out her face, although it was dark the moonlight coming from his window showed him everything. She stood there by his door wearing nothing but boxers rolled at the waist that he recognized to be his, and a white long sleeved shirt. Her hair was down, and his eyes traced over her face trying to read her, trying to figure out why she was here. Then he looked at her eyes, twinkling light brown, she sniffled. She had been crying. Without a word she walked towards his bed and moved the blanket aside. She got in next to him and laid her head on his shoulder, she pulled the blanket over the both of them and intertwined their fingers. She took a deep breath before kissing his shoulder, "I'm scared too." She whispered, Troy smiled softly before pulling her close to him. And for what felt like the millionth time that night he tried his hardest to close his eyes and sleep. This time he saw he and Gabriella, together.
