In
the light of the sun, is there anyone?
Oh, it has begun.
Oh
dear, you look so lost
Eyes
are red and tears are shed, some world you must have crossed .
You
said, you don't know me, you don't even care.
You
said, you don't know me
You don't wear my chains
- Boston, Augustana
- - - - - - -
"Why are you leaving?"
He paused abruptly in his "inspecting" of his suitcases and glanced over his shoulder warily. Oh, that dreaded question. He knew that they had been putting off asking it for awhile, since he had first told them he was planning on going. He guessed they didn't think he'd actually do it and now it was the day of his departure and they finally mustered up their feelings to ask him. Too bad he hadn't mustered up his feelings to answer them.
He shrugged nonchalantly and returned his attention back to his bags, fiddling with the handles nervously since, really his packages were secured tightly and nothing was tearing or ripping. He just wanted to use some sort of distraction so he didn't have to look at them. Despite his unrelenting feelings of wanting to leave, they were still his best friends and it was hard letting them go. He also didn't know what to say to them, he didn't think that they'd understand his passionate urge to get off the island.
Truth be told, he did know why he wanted to go, but he couldn't express it in words. There were a bunch of different reasons. He was sick of everything here. Sick of the tropical atmosphere; the sand and water and sun and brightly colored plants and the people. He wanted something new, something different, something exciting. There was nothing left for him here anymore, he was no longer captivated by this so-called tropical paradises' beauty. It was all the same and he couldn't stand everything being redundant.
"You're lying; you do know." His voice ran sharp throughout the nearly-silent train station. The smoke from the train was thick and pungent, making his nose scrunch in distaste.
He stood straight and took a deep breath before spinning around to face them. Her eyes were blue, wide and tearful. His were the color of the sea; narrowed and full of misunderstanding and bitterness. How he would have preferred brown. His hands clenched at his sides, fingernails creating crescent shaped marks in his palm.
"It's hard to explain." He replied unsurely, reaching over his head to scratch the back of his neck. An obvious anxious-habit of his. For a moment he saw a look of recognition pass through their eyes, and it kind of hurt. That was something they knew and loved, they didn't know and love this person who wanted to leave them and explore.
"We'll try our best to understand." She coaxed gently, hesitantly extending her hand toward him. He looked at it before returning his eyes to them.
"I…" He parted his lips, suddenly very shy. He couldn't tell them, they would snort and tell him it was a dumb reason. And that would just crush him, because it would show that they probably weren't as good of friends as they had all claimed to be. He couldn't bear to hear it.
"I can't stand it here anymore," He confessed hurriedly, leaning forward a bit and gesturing wildly with his hands, "It's so repetitive and nothing is ever exhilarating and I never interested in anything anymore. I'm bored and miserable, everyone knows everyone and we've done everything there is to do on this island over a thousand times." He couldn't stop them, the words just kept spilling out from his chapped lips, he couldn't stop them. He didn't even know if he wanted to.
"I love all you guys, you know that," He continued, squeezing his eyes shut briefly then opening them again to stare at them with a look of sadness, "And this is hard, really hard. To know it might be awhile before I see you guys again and, and, just God. I just want-no, scratch that, need something different. I hate the ocean and the sky and the sand and just everything. I loath it all."
He let the weight in his body slacken and he dropped his head. He felt flushed and out of breath. The tears stung his eyes harshly and he blinked rapidly to keep them back. He hated crying in front of them.
"That has to be the-"
He snapped his head up and glared heatedly, "See?!" He shrilled, "You don't GET IT. I KNEW you wouldn't. You're okay with all of this, but I'm NOT. There are other places with diverse things! I'm tired of blue skies and salty oceans. I'm tired of warm and sunny days. I just…I can't…" He shuddered.
They were watching him with shocked expressions, they couldn't grasp his reasoning and probably didn't want to. They liked familiar and the constraints of the place they call home. He didn't.
"The train will be leaving in one minute!" A voice bellowed from the loudspeakers in the station. His eyes darted around and he cleared his throat.
"I better get going." He said quietly, picking up his valises, then put them back down again. They nodded wordlessly. He stepped forward and hugged them both, awkwardly and quickly. He retrieved his luggage again and backed up into the train, giving them a false smile. He took his seat by a window and waved just as it started raining.
They waved back.
As the train started up he placed his hands on his knees and began to cry. The window was open and raindrops pelted him, mixing with his tears. The train began pulling away and he heard them yell one last thing.
"Look, Sora!"
"Your blue skies are gone."
A/N: For those who don't get it, it started to rain. Hence, the skies are no longer blue. XD
