I posted this over at AO3 and my LiveJournal community over the summer, but I guess I never got it up here. (Though with all the issues I'm having just trying to post it now...that may have been why...) SABAN owns the Power Rangers.
Shaving Is Stupid
by Starlit Purple
There were things he never mentioned much about his past. He'd tell her sometimes, if she asked, but she usually tried to keep her long list of questions to herself. If he wanted to talk about it, he'd tell her himself, without her prodding.
The morning she'd walked in on him shaving, that fact didn't cross her mind.
He hadn't seen her when she popped her head into the bathroom to ask him something, and something about the slow strokes he made across his cheek and the odd look in his eyes made her pause. She'd stepped around the doorframe, propping her shoulder against it as she watched.
He continued the measured strokes with the Kerovan equivalent of a razor without interruption. Eyes filled with terrible sadness in the reflection of the mirror.
After a moment, he stopped, setting the little device down and inspecting his face closely in the mirror. An odd look crossed his features, and then he let out a soundless sob and scrubbed at his eyes with his sleeve.
It was so heartbreaking, Ashley found herself blinking rapidly. His anguish was too overwhelming for her to ignore anymore, and she stepped forward into the bathroom. Not too close, she wasn't sure comfort was what he wanted right now. But she had to try.
"Andros?"
He still didn't notice her until she spoke, and she saw him tense when his eyes met hers in the mirror. His eyes fell to the sink in front of him as he sighed, and she barely heard him whisper, "Go away."
"Hey, come on, it can't be all that bad... Talk to me?" She stepped closer and reached out to put a hand on his shoulder.
He pulled away from her touch, wiping at his eyes again, before turning slightly in her direction. "Please. Just go."
"But Andros, I-"
The glare he gave her in the mirror made her stop, and she saw her own stricken look reflected over his shoulder before she turned and headed out of the bathroom. She almost walked into Zhane on her way out, but the other didn't say a thing. The look on his face said he'd been standing outside for more than a few minutes, and the way he ignored her as she passed hurt more than anything.
She made her way into the living room, and sat down on the couch, wrapping her arms around herself. She wished Karone were here. She'd probably know what was wrong. She was good at that insightful thing. A fleeting thought of calling her crossed her mind, but it was really late on Terra Venture by now, and she didn't want to wake her. So, she pulled her feet up beside her and curled up on the couch, hugging up one of the small couch pillows as tears trailed her cheeks.
He didn't mean to look so cold as Ashley'd passed him, he knew she'd be crying as soon as she was alone, but he had to fix Andros first.
He ignored the eyes he knew were on him in the mirror as they followed him into the bathroom and to Andros's side. He didn't say anything, just waited. He was mostly sure he knew what was wrong, and it wasn't something he was going to push his lover to talk about. He saw his hand slide over the counter until his fingers touched the small shaving device, and heard him let out a shuddering breath.
Zhane reached out and covered Andros's hand with his own, before pulling him into an embrace. He was sure he'd pull away, and was mildly surprised when he clung to him instead, sobs coming in full force.
He just stood there, holding him, petting his hair softly, letting him know he was there while he cried. It was several minutes before his shoulders stopped shuddering and his sobs became sniffles, and Zhane let him go when he finally pulled himself away.
"I love you," he told him simply, and it only seemed to make Andros's eyes a little more watery as he sniffled and echoed his words.
"Your father?" Zhane asked after Andros had pulled himself together a little more.
He merely nodded silently, and picked up the shaver. And then he closed his eyes and sighed.
"Shaving is stupid."
He opened his eyes and looked at Zhane as he set the shaver down again. "That was one of the last things I said to my father."
Zhane smiled sadly. "I'd always figured. ...You never said, but I remember you were upset with your father before he... Before," he finished awkwardly. "And then the attacks right after that, and I didn't help anything..." Zhane sighed. "I'm so sorry, Andros."
Andros took a deep breath and swallowed, glancing toward the door. "I shouldn't have been so harsh with her..."
"No," he agreed, and put a hand on his shoulder. "She didn't know."
"I know."
"We can go talk to her, together. I mean, I'll go with you, if you want me to."
Andros nodded, reaching up to squeeze the hand on his shoulder. "I do."
"Okay."
Zhane weaved his fingers through his as they exited the bathroom, and he squeezed them lightly, accepting the silent gesture of support.
His heart panged a little when he heard her quiet sniffling, and he paused in the hallway just outside Ashley's line of sight if she were on the far side of the room. Zhane squeezed his fingers once more, brushing his thumb across the back of his hand, and then nudged him with their clasped hands. He took a deep breath, and then walked slowly into the room.
Ashley was curled up on the couch facing away from them. As they got closer, he saw her petting a ball of multi-colored fluff—Luna, who was laying comfortably in the space between her and the back cushions.
He stopped, Zhane still silently at his shoulder, and whispered, "Ash?"
She took a deep breath, but didn't roll over. "I'm sorry."
"No." Andros shook his head and glanced at Zhane before letting his hand go and moving forward. "I should have told you before. I—can I sit?"
Ashley sniffled once more, before sitting up and scooting down to make room. Luna merely resituated herself, curling up at Ashley's side once more. She giggled softly when the kitten pawed at her hand and reached over to pet her.
Andros sat, leaving space for the kitten, yet still enough room on his other side for Zhane, if he wanted to sit.
"I..." He wasn't sure how to start now.
Ashley sighed, a sad look on her face. "You don't have to tell me, Andros. I know some things...they happen, and—"
"No, I—I want to," he interrupted before she could continue. "...I'm sorry."
She just looked at him, waiting. He took her hand—much to the kitten's dismay—and she didn't pull away.
"Is it," she paused awkwardly and threw a glance at Zhane. "Was it when you lost..." She sighed, like she didn't want to finish.
"When he lost me?" Zhane finished for her. And she looked back at him as he moved forward and sat on the table in front of them.
"No, it wasn't. ...It was my dad," Andros told her softly. He took a deep breath and continued. "On the day of the big attack on KO-35, my father and I had a big argument. I'd stormed out afterward, never knowing that it was the last time I'd ever see him. They'd told me afterward, when what was left of the colony had escaped Dark Specter's troops and abandoned KO-35, that they'd found his body." There were tears in his eyes again, but he didn't stop. "I went back. I looked, but..." He shook his head and a small sob slipped out.
"Oh Andros..." Ashley scooted over, upending the kitten, who scrambled out of the way and into Zhane's lap, and wrapped him in a hug. She was crying again, he could feel her tears on his cheek. "I don't know what to say," she whispered, sniffling.
She seemed as torn up about it as he had been earlier, and just held her silently. And somehow...it was helping. He wiped at his eyes behind Ashley's back before any more tears could spill. He wasn't going to break down again, and she was crying enough for both of them.
"Sometimes there's nothing you can say."
Zhane's words were sudden in the quiet, but didn't disrupt it. Andros caught his hand when he sat Luna in the floor and stood, and kissed him when he sat, hugging Ashley from behind.
She giggled, sniffling once more. "Why are you hugging me?"
Andros could feel more than hear Zhane kiss her. "Because we've dealt with things like this for most of our lives, and you need it more." There was a pause, and Andros felt him squeeze them a little more. "And I'm hugging Andros too!"
She giggled again as Zhane let them go, and Andros wiped a tear trailing down her face and kissed her cheek before she could pull away completely.
"I'm sorry I never told you before—never told either of you," he glanced at Zhane, who smiled.
"I only guessed," he reminded him.
"I know, but you guys are my family now. And the others. And...the past, it just catches me off guard sometimes."
"It's okay to be sad, to miss them," Ashley told him, and he nodded. "I love you."
He smiled, because it was what Zhane had said too. "I love you too. Both of you."
"Well, what a coincidence, I love you both too!" He was smiling too, and Andros knew he was thinking the same thing.
He jumped when he felt something—or rather several somethings poking his foot, and scooped up Luna before she could run away. "Yes, and I love you too, Luna," he exasperated.
Ashley giggled and snuggled into his side as she watched the kitten curl up on his lap. Zhane was on her other side, arm around her, and hand on Andros' shoulder.
It was more than he could ever have asked for, ever thought he'd have again, and he smiled as he laid his head against Zhane's hand and listened to the soft purring of the kitten in his lap.
