Aquaian Goddess's notes: HI! umm, it's obvious that I didn't write this, my friend did. Thus is why he uses my real name, Christina. ::grins:: Don't send your flames to us, for we shall laugh at them and use them to make s'mores! ENJOY!

THE FLEXO-RAMA
A GW infomertial written by Sam Acheson (Email him at JanusRahland@aol.com).



The Lights go on, and Relena Peacecraft sit on a stool, wearing a
polyester
jumpsuit that bags around her frame:::

Relena: am I on?

Sam: Yes, Relena *mutters* stupid wench

Relena: Okay, good, so I'm on?

Christina: Yes, YOU'RE ON! *mutter* bitch

Relena: Okay, I'm on. ::Turns to the camera, and smiles her best
I'm-a-naÃve-peace-loving-aristocrat smile::: Hello, my anme is Relena
Peacecraft. A question I'm often asked is "Relena, how do you keep
you're smooth, supple thighs, well toned buttocks, shapely hips and flat
stomache?" :::Relena casts a sidelong glance at where Heero, in a pastel blue
leisure suit, is staring stoney faced at the audience::: And what is the awnser
to that, my friends? Why, the Flexorama, of course!

:::Everybody waits:::

Christina: HEERO! SING!

Heero: Nio. I don't wanna.

Sam: NOW.

Heero: Sighs, and sings::::

Flexo-rama, it's Really Swell,

Flexo-rama works quite well

Flexo-rama, it's Peachy Keen

It's even endorsed by Charlie Sheen!

Sam: I didn't know Charlie Sheen endorsed the Flexo-Rama. I thought
that's WHY we were using Relena.

Christina: Everyone knows that theme songs are outside of truth to
advertising laws *Wink*

Sam: Aha. Of course.

Heero: NO IT'S NOT!

Sam & Christina: Shaddup.

Relena: Now to demonstrate the Flexo-Rama will be the son of Maxwell
Church, DUO!

Duo's voice from offstage: No chance I'm gonna be seen in public in
this thing!

Relena: It's just a Speedo!

Duo: Shut up, you old tart! YOU don't have to wear it!

Heero: And please don't.

Duo:::Whining:::: CHRISTINA, why do I have to wear this in public?!?

Christina: Because I said so! Now get your white ass out her, now!

Duo: Why can't Quatre do it?`

Sam: Cause he's a scrawny weakling!

Duo: Okay, how about Trowa?

Relena: That guy gets enough chest-time on the show!

:::Duo come out wearing a bathrobe:::

:::Everyone sweatdrops:::

Relena: Okkkaaayyy Duo, Tell us about the Flexo-Rama!

Duo::In a bright, vacuous manner::: The Flexo-Rama helped me lose four
pounds in just eight short months! With it's innovative pretzel shaped design,
the Flexo-Rama will hve you screaming like you caught your pea-shooter in a
car door!

Relena: And here to demonstrate the Flexo-Rama will be Drum roll,
please

Christina: Who did you book to demonstrate it, Sam?

Sam: You'll see.

Relena: ZECHS MARQUISS!!!!

::::Every single women, and a few of the men in the audience begin to
scream and swoon:::

Christina: ::Goes all Bambi-eyed::: IT'S SEXY ZECHSY!

Sam: Yes, dear, you did say that out loud.

:::Zechs walkes on stage in a pair of bike shorts, and turns and winks
at the audience, and blows a kiss to Christina:::

Christina: ::Promptly faints:::

Relena: So, Zechs, why don't you domstrate the Flexo-Rama for us?

Zechs: Well, firt you pick up this pretzel saped piece of rubber. Fit
the first two rings around your legs and the other two around your arms
and...

:::Cracking sounds::::

Zechs: SWEET MERCIFUL %%#%