Hey guys!
So after watching "Grilled Cheesus", I felt that Artie could've played something of a role in this episode, given his mention in Finn's prayer, not to mention his quiet nods with Kurt and eye rolls at Finn's "revelation". But I know that this episode probably would've been way too crowded with so many characters, so it's okay.
But I couldn't get those little moments out of my head, which resulted in this little ficlet.
Problem is, I was halfway through writing this when I went onto and saw "Selfish" by lifeluver, which was also a Kurt/Artie friendship fic, and it had the same general idea. Hopefully mine's different enough from hers and just as good, because that one-shot was absolutely lovely. Anyway, just wanted to say that if this fanfic seems like a carbon copy from hers (which I'm seriously hoping it's not, although they do have similar elements), it wasn't done that way on purpose.
Okay, enough babbling.
Kurt ran the water ice-cold and splashed it onto his face. He stared at his mirror reflection, eyes baggy and face pale. God, I'm a mess. Honestly, he didn't need this. Yeah, he did what Coach Sylvester said he should do and reported this stupid religious assignment to the school board. So what? He had the perfect rights to do so, and no matter how many people complained to him about it, he didn't regret it.
At the sound of bathroom door creaking open, Kurt whirled around to see Artie wheel himself in. Kurt sighed in relief. "Oh good, it's just you." Artie rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks Kurt." He didn't take it personally though, he knew Kurt would rather die than to be found in such a vulnerable state by any of the Neanderthal-like jocks.
Kurt took a paper towel and dried his hands and face. "What's up?"
Artie cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses a bit. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened in Glee. You know, with Mr. Shue-"
"-not letting you guys perform your precious Jesus-loves-me songs. Yeah, I get it. Everyone's pissed, I'm a terrible person, blah blah blah." Kurt snapped. "Go ahead and yell at me, with all that's been going on, I really don't care what you guys have to say about what I did."
Artie looked down at his gloved hands and fiddled with his gloved fingers. "Actually, I wanted to tell you that I completely support your actions toward this issue."
Kurt stared, dumbfounded. "You mean you don't believe either?" Then it dawned on him. "It's because of the chair, isn't it?" Artie look up and smiled wryly.
"Well, that's definitely a part of it. It's the same question most people ask, like why anything bad would happen if there was such a good and great God up there who could supposedly stop it all at the flick of his finger. I mean, what kind of God would let these things happen to people? Starvation, genocide, your mom, and now your dad. Finn's little revelation in class came off as naive, and I thought the rehearsal could spend less time singing Jesus' praises and more time practicing regular songs and choreography, like a normal Glee club should." Artie took a deep breath after letting all that mind jumble out. "I'm not exactly an atheist, per se." Artie added quickly as an afterthought. Kurt frowned. "It's just..I dunno. I just don't like all this religious stuff going on now even in Glee club, like we shouldn't have any kind of choice at all. It doesn't feel right, and if you hadn't stepped forward first, I might have done it myself."
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "You didn't seem to mind the religious stuff when Puck was singing his usual Jewish artist nonsense today."
Artie straightened his glasses. "Regardless of my feelings toward the subject matter, I do enjoy my Billy Joel." Seeing Kurt's eyebrow was still raised, Artie shrugged. "It's not like I can't stand religious music or anything, I love all kinds of music. I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in this."
Kurt relaxed. "Thanks, Artie." He turned away from Artie and looked back into the mirror. "Just standing there and holding his hand, begging him to squeeze back, open his eyes, anything - I just can't imagine how having some prayer circle and having a big God-saves-all therapy session would magically make him better. Miracles don't exist." Kurt closes his eyes and tried to fight back tears, feeling angry at himself in the process. Like I haven't been doing enough crying to last me a lifetime?
Knowing exactly why Kurt didn't want to face him, Artie looked away. After a few moments of silence, he said "Well, prayers might not help, but you know singing can. You've never been afraid to put yourself out there and sing your emotions, why not do it now?"
Kurt's voice still slightly shaky, he asked "What do you have in mind?" Artie thought for a moment. "Let me get back to you on that, okay?" He looked up at Kurt, who nodded. "Thanks." Artie nodded back and give him a smile. "No problem." And with that, he started wheeling himself out the door.
When he was halfway out, Artie stopped and looked over his shoulder. "And Kurt? I'm so sorry about your dad." Kurt turned around, his eyes red. "Me too."
For the next day and a half, Artie kept thinking over and over what kind of song Kurt should sing. "Dear Agony" by Breaking Benjamin? Nah, too dark and angry. "Please Don't Leave Me" by P!nk? Artie shuddered. None of that mainstream pop, please. They do enough of that in Glee as it is. He mused over several different song options in his head, but nothing really came up.
He wheeled himself down the hallway after fourth period for his AP Stat class, and with a pang he saw Tina and Mike holding hands and laughing with each other as they walked by. Like he wasn't even there. He kept moving on and tried ignore the bitterness, but all he could see was his Tee holding hands with another guy. Suddenly-
"Just standing there and holding his hand, begging him to squeeze back..."
He had no idea how seeing his ex-girlfriend with Mike Chang reminded him of a much more intimate moment between Kurt and his possibly dying father, but that didn't matter.
Artie knew exactly what kind of song Kurt needed.
"Here's the sheet music. I already gave it to the band who does our music, so they're good to go. You just need to learn the words." Artie handed over the papers to a perplexed Kurt.
"Artie, you didn't have to do all this. A simple song suggestion would've been fine."
Artie shifted uncomfortably. Despite what most people assumed due to the wheelchair, he didn't like to be overly touchy-feely. But touchy-feely or no, he was always there for any of his friends.
He felt another pang. "You ignored me for weeks this summer."
Well, he was working on it, anyway.
"I know, but I felt kind of guilty for not sticking up for you in Glee. I figured at least this way I can make up for it." Giving Kurt an quick smile, Artie left to go to his next class.
Kurt scanned the title of the sheet music and smiled. Whatever Tina said about Artie not being thoughtful enough, he was definitely improving.
With the music held tightly in his hand, Kurt walked purposefully to the choir room to work the first couple of lines of "I Want To Hold Your Hand".
There it is! Please review, thank you!
By the way, I'm going to take down "The Letter" and the ninth chapter of "Proud Mary Keep On Burning" (aka "Resolve") because both need some serious editing/revamping. The reason I haven't been able to do so as of late is because junior year of high school is kicking my butt. *cries* They will both be re-uploaded once I'm done.
PS: Can't wait for next week's episode, "Duets". It looks epic. :D
