No, I do not own anything. I only wish I did, like just about every other fanfiction writer on the site.
Everyone seems to be under the mistaken impression that a Ryou is an innocent, naïve, and harmless person who just so happens to share his body with a slightly (or more) psychotic Yami. Alas, but one can only share headspace with a psychopath for so long before they start picking up… characteristics…
Ryou stared at the greasy man at his door blankly. He never was fond of door-to-door salesmen, to put it mildly. And neither the subject (some sort of cleaner) nor the delivery of this particularly long winded sales pitch was overly impressive. While some salesmen were truly talented at what they did, this one had the air of a conman with no understanding of common courtesy and the subtlety of Malik's yami. Oh, and the man seemed to be under the impression Ryou was female. Thus the poor attempt at flirting. Cheesy pickup lines and compliments were evenly dispersed throughout the fairly halfhearted sales pitch, each one seemingly more insulting than the last. Ryou was sure that if he were female, he would've attempted to at least castrate the man by now.
The normally mild-mannered boy listened attentively to the man digging his own grave, tallying up every last stomped nerve that resulted, absently plotting how to get rid of him. Bakura was safely asleep for the time being, and for once he was almost sorry of the fact. Then again, it was possible his yami would've laughed at this situation, and told him to deal with it himself. Preferably using the lessons he had forcibly pounded into Ryou's head. Which meant knives (which left evidence), intimidation (he wasn't so confident in his ability to do so), or the shadow realm (which he had never actually used without his yami's supervision and under extreme protest).
The last nerve snapped when the man cracked a poor joke- something about the British and possibly related to how feminine they could be- Was that supposed to be funny? Ryou smiled angelically, course of action determined, and the salesman stuttered to a halt, mesmerized. Ryou only hoped the resident monsters would forgive him for the possible indigestion they might end up with.
"Ryou?" Malik was at the door, mildly curious, if unsurprised. "There's a soulless body a few alleys down. What annoyed Bakura this time?"
"Don't look at me, Tomb Keeper." Bakura appeared in soul form, smirking, and jerked his head at Ryou, who was absently playing with a kitchen knife. "He did it this time." Malik's jaw dropped.
"It was only a door to door salesman." Ryou muttered, embarrassed. "It's not like he actually had a soul to begin with…"
